FROM THE DESK OF GLAMAZON DOMME

This Week’s Topic:  Where the Hell Have I Been?

I can see by the date on the ol’ journal here that it’s been quite a while since I’ve made a new entry.  Those of you who have been corresponding with me regularly have probably also noticed that I’ve been on CS intermittently and that my messages have been short and/or non-existent.  I apologize for the latter, and will give an explanation for the former.

Professionally, it’s been a rough summer for me.  There has been marked turnover in my department, which of course meant more work and longer hours for me.  Add to this the fact that it’s busy season for my industry and you have the makings of a working nightmare.  And so, I have not had the ability to pursue more pleasurable distractions for the past 4 months or so.

(NOTE: My professional and personal (vanilla) life always comes before BDSM—as it should for everyone, in my opinion.  If you feel that this makes me “not serious about the lifestyle” or “fake,” please look elsewhere for a Dominant.)   

I’m happy to report that my department is now fully staffed with great people who know what they’re doing, and we have a new manager who is hands-down one of the best bosses I’ve ever had.  No joke, he’s amazing. J  And thanks to these wonderful people, I can finally breathe and start taking care of my personal life.

To everyone whom I’ve been corresponding with:  Thanks for hanging in there!  I should be back to messaging you regularly now.

FROM THE DESK OF GLAMAZON DOMME

This Week’s Topic: Attraction, or Why It’s Important to Spend Time with Your Dom/sub Before Playtime

Attraction.  What is it?  How does it happen?  And why am I writing about it?

Attraction plays an important part in BDSM.  It’s much easier to dominate or submit to someone that you’re attracted to, especially sexually.  If you’re not attracted to your BDSM playmate, things just aren’t going to happen.  At least, that’s the case with me.

Now, I realize that not everyone I send messages to here are going to be attracted to me.  That’s fine with me, as I’m not attracted to everyone who sends a message to me either.  And if I send a message to you and you’re not attracted to me, a polite reply stating this is OK with me; I know that some people prefer petite blondes to tall redheads.

But have you ever been around someone who was not necessarily your type, but you were hopelessly attracted to them anyway?  Or been around someone who was movie star gorgeous, but they completely turned you off?  Were you confused by this, saying to yourself, “I can’t put my finger on it, but there’s something about this person that drives me wild/makes me want to run away as fast as I can…”?

I have a theory about this, and it’s right in front of your face: your nose.

Now, I’m just basing this on my own experience but I have found that when it comes to partners, my nose is the best gauge of my attraction to someone.  Why?  It’s simple—pheromones.

Pheromones are little scent particles that animals put out to indicate that they are ready to mate.  There’s been some debate as to whether humans have pheromones, but I’m a firm believer that they do.  These pheromones cannot be masked with deodorant or cologne; they will always be present.  Not only that, but each person has their own pheromone signature that attracts other people whose scent receptors are calibrated for that particular set of pheromones.

I’ll give you an example from my own dating experiences.  A high school friend of mine set me up on a blind date with a guy she worked with.  At the time, my “type” was tall, dark and handsome.  My date, Sean, was short, freckled, redheaded and not what you would call “handsome.”  But he had beautiful blue-green eyes and a winning smile, and I didn’t want to be mean to him so I went ahead with the date.  We were standing in line waiting for movie tickets when I noticed that there was a scent coming off of him that was making me hot under the collar.  At first I thought it was cologne, but no—it was something earthier, more natural.  It’s hard to describe.  I spent the next two hours in the theater cuddled up with Sean, breathing in his scent, and knew that I wanted him to be my boyfriend.  We were together for the next 2 years.

So how does this tie into the importance of meeting your Dom/sub in person, you ask?

Meeting your Dom/sub outside of BDSM playtime (say, for lunch or dinner) allows you to get close enough to them to “follow your nose” and see if the pheromone/receptor compatibility is there.  You don’t even have to be inside the person’s personal space to catch their pheromones; often, you can get them from across the table.  If you get a feeling that it’s not going to work out (even if the person is good-looking and nice), that’s probably your nose giving you the “no go” signal.  Likewise, if the person you’re dining with is getting better-looking and more interesting by the minute, that’s probably your nose giving you the “go for it” signal.  

And of course, dining out with a potential Dom/sub gives you the added bonus of finding out if your personalities are a good match too. :)

Until next week—keep it sane, safe and consensual.

FROM THE DESK OF GLAMAZON DOMME

Why I've Been Gone So Long & New Updates for the New Year

Well!  It's been a long time since I wrote in this journal--too long!  A lot of things have happened since September and I'd like to update everyone on what's been going on.

First, an explanation to those of you who have been messaging me.  In October, I contracted an illness that sent me to the hospital.  I'm fully recovered now, thank the gods, but it was unnerving to have doctors stare at your chart in wide-eyed shock and say, "According to this, you should be dead!"  (And no, I'm not exaggerating.)  So that's why I've been missing so long.  I'll try to reach out to you all as soon as I can.

Now, for the updates!

Red Minotaur and I will soon be moving to new digs.  We're quite excited, as we currently live at Falling Apartments.  (Those of you who are fans of Shin Chan will understand what I mean.)  The latest thing to break in our apartment?  The water heater.  Between that and the brawling upstairs neighbors, we are really, really glad that we are getting out of here.  Unfortunately, that means no playtime until we're in our new place.  I'll keep you posted on when we're able to receive guests.

We're also adding a new addition to the family.  The lovely Immoral Goddess, our good friend from California, will be joining us at our new place!  She's a switch, so there will be three delightful Dominants available for playtime at the Glamazon/Minotaur household.

That's all the updates for now.  Talk to you soon!

FROM THE DESK OF GLAMAZON DOMME

Hello!  I thought that it would be interesting to start writing a journal here on CollarSpace so that everyone can get to know me a little better.   I’m going to try to update it once a week.

This week’s topic is:

“Why Should I Be Your Domme?”

This is a very good question that every Domme should ask themselves before ever seeking out a submissive.  A Dom/sub relationship is a mutually agreed upon relationship; in other words, the submissive chooses the Domme as much as the Domme chooses the submissive.  If the relationship is not beneficial and enjoyable for both parties, it will not last.

So why should you, submissive seeking a Domme, choose me specifically for your Domme?  I’m not going to sit here and tell you that I’m “the bestest Domme EVAR,” because that’s simply not true.  I don’t think that anyone can lay claim to that title, as different submissives have different desires and needs and no one can be everything to everyone.  However, I can give you some reasons why I would be a good Domme for you, and some reasons why I would be a bad Domme for you.

I’m a good Domme for you if…

• You are new to the lifestyle.  I’m patient and willing to mentor you on your journey into BDSM.
• You want a Domme who cares about your needs and desires being met as well as her own, and is willing to compromise if the two don’t exactly meet.
• You want a Domme who respects your hard limits and won’t use them to punish you.  (Yes, some Doms actually do that.)
• You want a Domme who understands that you are a person first, and a submissive second.  People need to eat, sleep, and go to the bathroom at regular intervals.  People also tend to get sick, stressed, frightened, and have physical, mental and/or emotional limitations.  I will keep all of this in mind while we are in scene.
• You want a Domme who realizes that you have a vanilla life outside of BDSM that must be attended to.  All of us have work, bills to pay, family obligations, etc. that must be taken care of before fun time.  I don’t expect you to be at my beck and call 24/7, as long as you don’t expect that of me as well.
• You want a Domme who enjoys having a relationship with you outside of the D/s one.  I like to have fun, and it’s nice to have someone to enjoy my free time with, especially if you like visiting Disneyworld, the beach, etc.
• You like being petted and spoiled.
• You want a sensuous Domme, one who prefers to control you with pleasure instead of pain.
• You will be submissive and obedient, but you will not be bullied.
• You are not afraid to try new things.
• You are intelligent and have a sense of humor.

I’m a bad Domme for you if…

• You want a Domme who will take away all of your rights, isolate you, and keep you from leaving the relationship if you wish to go.
• You want a Domme who will beat you to the point where you are bleeding or bruised.
• You want a Domme who will humiliate you and torture you out of scene, causing you to lose friends, family members and possibly your job.
• You want a Domme who will force you to do things that you are not ready for, or things that you have stated are hard limits.
• You want a Domme who will force you into prostitution, or force you to service their friends when you are not comfortable doing so.
• You want a Domme who will give you to someone that they have not personally vetted as safe—in other words, a complete stranger.
• You want a Domme who will send you into dangerous situations, where you could possibly be injured or killed.
• You want a Domme who will permanently “mark” you as their own through scarring, branding, or tattooing.
• You want a Domme who doesn’t give a damn about you, and makes sure that you know it.

I hope that this gives you some insight on the type of Domme I am, and the type of person I am.  If you think that I would be a good Domme for you based on the list above, please feel free to send me a message.

Good night, and keep it safe, sane and consensual!