HAPPILY IN A RELATIONSHIP. looking for FEMALE ONLY friends

2/20/2013 9:31:38 AM

I am a masochistI do not endure pain I crave itI do not grit my teeth and bear itI lean into it fervently, arch my back stick out my flesh and ask for moreI crave the pain, the fear, the actionI get exited at the thought of painAnd anxious without itIt hits my reset button like nothing elseIt brings me back to myself and my truthI don't want a love tap those are niceBut I want a hit that goes through me and shakes me to the coreI hear the rhythmic music of the floggers as they fall against my skinLike an old steam train moving on the tracksEven after the scene is over it plays in my earI feel the wind move, the energy shift, the excitement buildI crave the wetness that builds up between my legs after 10th strokesI crave the lightheaded tingly feeling that comes after the 20th strokeI crave the release, the calm the quiet that comes after the 30th strokeAnd yes I even crave that fighting to stay alive and keep it together oblivion that comes after the 100th strokeThat place where there is no more arousal, no more tingly just focus, concentration, meditation and acute awareness of nothing but He and IEven in the moments when I am feeling extreme amount of pain and screaming for mercy I'm asking for moreI'm lost in myself,under his hand, his evil spellI'm relishing in the freedom that comes from letting go and just being in the beautiful miseryI'm breathingI'm screamingI'm cummingI'm beggingI'm running awayI'm drawing nearI'm losing my mind asking myself can someone die of this much happinessI am a masochist