Dominance, more than a feeling or a mood-it is the realization that one has been ordained at birth to follow a path. It is not something that one becomes-one either is or is not Dominant. It is to the personality what skin colour is to the epidermis. Thus, one acquires a skin tone at birth just as one is born Dominant. It is, in this sense, a brain tone.

I read many profiles whose owners claim to be naturally Dominant or submissive as though that had some special significance. It does, in that it highlights certain insecurity when one has to showcase a character trait which in and of itself is a brilliant light.

I have always known who I was; yet I have not always accepted it, in large part due to socially constructed constraints, imposed on me since childhood. Later, with the emergence of feminism, it became a struggle to reconcile my male dominance over a submissive woman. I have since, successfully negotiated that obstacle.

So, setting aside superficial external physical attributes, who is this Dominant you have before you? In the Socratic tradition, I can tell you that if I have learned one thing about the D/s lovestyle it is the reality of how little I know. Yet I see myself at the confluence of experience, knowledge, and education-I am a life long learner.

No laundry list here, I enjoy the company of intelligent women; submissive in the bedroom but not in political discussions, she is conscious about having a brain and of using it. My preference is for someone who has a life outside of D/s, be she a manager, teacher, etc.; in short, someone with a life. your mind comes before your body. The body may stir the passions, but if the mind finds itself in an intellectual void, the passions will not be far behind.