Trust me - he says

I will hurt you

I will make you cry

I will consume and devour you

I will overpower you

I will take you high

Higher than the sky

Trust me my pet

because after…

I will hold you

dry your tears

and protect you


As all of us have progressed from the "vanilla" style relationships, and into this relationship that is D/s, I have learned some very interesting concepts. I honestly feel that this type of relationship builds stronger bonds, than those in the "vanilla" world. I say this based on some good old fashioned sitting back and thinking things through. The bond that is created by a submissive to their master, is without question, at a different level than most "vanilla" relationships. The logic behind this is very easy to understand. If you consider all the scenarios played out in this lifestyle, the amount of trust needed from both parties, but especially the sub, is unequal in my mind.

**Discipline**
The need for discipline in the LS, is simply to maintain some resemblance of order. It’s to maintain the relationship, within the parameters that were previously agreed upon. I cannot speak for all Dom(me)/Master, but I personally don’t enjoy having to discipline a sub, it means that to some degree they have disrespected me, and that tends to be more hurtful than whatever they did to receive discipline. It’s not to suggest that I won’t discipline, but in all cases, I will discipline AND explain why.

**Training**
The need for training in a complex dynamic that is BDSM, is explained just like you need to train for a new job. There is NO playbook or a set of guidelines for these relationships, each of us have our own opinions on what they are seeking in a sub. To set this to some imaginary set of guidelines is simply foolish, it cannot be done. The very obvious reason is pretty simple, there cannot be 1 set of “rules” if you will, for a individuals that do NOT share every similar trait with each other. Therefore the training is in fact to prepare the sub to meet MY set of standards, as I deem necessary. This is one of many areas in this LS that communication has to be critical from both parties, without it, it’s a traffic jam of emotions and thoughts.

**Bond**
This topic is very important to me. I love this LS, because of the bond that is created between a sub and their Dom(me). We have all probably been in various types of relationships, where we thought that it was the one! As it turns out, it probably was just wishful thinking. What I have found in this lifestyle over the years is that when that connection is made, and both parties are committing to their respective roles, the emotional bond created is unbelievable. I have witnessed all types of play from Dom’s and their subs, and even though some of that play was very intense, the one thing I fixated on, was the unmistakable bond that was between them. I never knew this couple, but I did not need to be formally introduced to see what was very obvious.

**Dynamic**
The dynamic that is a true BDSM relationship is very complex. You have two unique personalities to begin with, but then you throw in the play room activities. This brings on a complete and new set of emotional situations that must be dealt with. The only way to properly address the emotional rollercoaster is to talk. I realize this is a cliché among many, not sure why this is, but communication is never more important than it is in this lifestyle. I encourage my subs to talk, and in fact will discipline if they don’t and something should come out later that should have been discussed.

**Respect**
This obviously is a 2 way street. You have to earn respect, by giving respect. The dynamic that is BDSM, requires the utmost respect, by both the Dom(me) and of course the sub. This is not the relationship you want to “wing” it. This topic covers the smallest things, to the largest things. Whether its something simple as contacting your Dom at the required times, showing up on time or something more committed like following the established rules. In turn your Dom(me), should respect all of your hard limits and never under any circumstance think that it is alright to discuss your hard limits. These are you hard limits, there is no need for discussion, unless YOU want to discuss it. Additionally, they should respect the use of a safe word during play, or any other predetermined safe guard that is in place.

**Scenes**
This is my personal favorite and my specialty. I utilize the soft limits of my sub, to create VERY VERY realistic scenes. I am a very creative person and can make any scene as real as you want it to be. I do not do any scene half ass. In fact I have created a scene that is so realistic. I require a sub to train for predetermined segments of this scene, to ensure she does not have a mental breakdown. I do not and will not ever risk psychological damage with any scene, this is supposed to be about fun, not mental abuse. Of course, nothing ever happens without negotiating PRIOR to any scene beginning. I explain completely exactly what the scene will entail, and what the sub can expect to experience.

**Limits**
This is a topic that I have put a lot of thought into. I hear from all types of people that limits are sometimes disregarded as being a “suggestion” if you will. I am not at all sure why any sub would ever agree to any type of play, without the respect of limits. It just does not make a lot of sense to risk it.
I believe in 2 lists, the hard limit list of course. This list is very clear in its definition these items are OFF limits at all times and are not up for discussion, unless the SUB brings them up, PERIOD!! I need no explanation of a hard limit. I also utilize the creation of a soft limit list. I view this list as those items that the sub is curious about and would like more information on, prior to making a decision one way or another.

My thinking on the importance to the limit’s list is this. To me this lifestyle is about many things, building a very strong bond between M/s, developing levels of trust and respect that are bullet proof.

I also truly believe that a Dom that truly cares for and respects his sub, will always be thinking of ways to maximize the pleasure for his sub. I am able to achieve this for my sub, by constantly looking over the soft limit list, and creating a totally unique scene specifically to meet her desires. We then of course discuss the scene, and depending on her specific type of play, will determine the intensity of that scene.

This lifestyle can be very enjoyable and gain valuable knowledge into the world of sex, and BDSM. If you are truly an open minded person, then you will love what this lifestyle can bring you. However, as with any person, finding the right master, will determine your satisfaction. If they won’t respect your wishes or boundaries, you will NOT enjoy this lifestyle at all.