I've dealt with an awful lot of prejudice and bigotry from people over the years. We all know the type. I'm not going to start rattling off examples because they're really good at doing that work for me.

Anyways, there has been a phenomenon recently that I puzzled over deeply, trying to figure out the origin of an issue I encountered. You see, I was a member of an age players group where there were bullies. There was hate. There were guys trying to dictate how someone else was supposed to identify or use their profiles. That was annoying and troubling but that wasn't the part that really shredded my wheat.

It was when a gay guy told me that I shouldn't be welcome in a boys group due to the fact I do not have a penis that really upset me.

Now my friends know I'm a very gentle loving sort of guy. I'll stick up for those who do no harm and just want to coexist within the community like a soldier, I'll laugh at silly jokes with the best of them. I will not, however, abide bigotry.

It got me thinking... we're all on because we have some sort of desire we wish to either express, share, explore, fantasize about or just learn more about. But sometimes people get caught up with thinking that what is on our profiles is all about the kinks and fetishes we have.

It really dawned on me that some people think that my identification as being FtM transsexual pertains to my kink mindset. FtM is my gender identity, not my kink and certainly not my hobby. Its my life, not lifestyle. I don't do it as a part time kink. Its who I am.

Ok, I get it, some people don't understand the trans umbrella embodies a larger community. There are FtM, MtF, GenderQueer, Bi Gender, Third Gender, no gender, and I'm sure I missed one or two but the idea here is that the T community is nuanced and full of variety. Some include cross dressers into the T community and thats fine if you do but I don't. Its not that I am trying to not be inclusive because I love and respect the LGBT and all its nuanced members throughout. Its a matter of perspective.

If you identify as one gender and then on a part time hobbyist role don clothes of the opposite gender, that is your right to do so and I won't judge you for it, but there is a great difference between taking that role off at the end of the night and living it full time. There are many differences that a lot of people do not take the time to consider and that is where the problem lies.

Cross dressers don't have to worry about the medical aspect and psychological ramifications of transitioning into the desired gender identity. Look at our society fighting over same sex marriage rights and its not difficult to see that we, as a society, are not exactly a healthy environment to be different. Sure there are a lot of welcoming accepting folks in the world but there are also a lot of hateful bigots who won't think twice about being violent towards someone they feel is a "freak". I know this first hand. I had a knife pulled on me on a train in Chicago less than 4 months after I came out as Trans and began my transition into full time male identified living. It was terrifying. There are people who don't like cross dressers and will be cruel and violent towards them also, but as similar as the trials and tribulations can seem, they are also vastly different on different scales altogether.

Here on its easy to confuse a person's kink and sexual proclivities for the basic person they are and bring to the table. If you think a person's gender is just a fetish, you might be egregiously wrong about them or you might be right, but it isn't your right to decide that for them. We all live our own lives and are who we are at our core despite the ideas and thought schools constructed by our society. We are not all the same. Some dare to be different on a larger level than others but being different isn't wrong or gross, so long as none are harmed. Its about respecting one another for who we are and accepting that no 2 people are entirely the same. Except for clones. But that is besides the point.

If nothing else, I want to leave you with this: Do not judge one another based on what makes us all different without first understanding the person for who they are beyond the realm of our kinks. Get to know one another, take a genuine interest in learning about the nuances that makes us all beautifully wonderfully fabulously different. Don't tear another person down for being outside your ideal of what is right or wrong. And to those beautiful souls who dare to be different, I say this: Be you. Do not compromise your genuine originality for the sake of placating the hatred of bigots the world over. Be true to you. Live an authentic life. You be you, I'll be me, and thats the way it ought to be.

~Gideon, being Gideon