So last journal, I posted about something I don't really like.  So I figure it's high time to post something that I do like.  So..  I love bondage.  It's what got me roped into the lifestyle in the first place.  But most of the time, my favorite part of a bondage scene is actually the untying.

Basically, there are three parts of a bondage scene: tying, tied and playing, and then untying. 

1. Tying is wonderful; it starts the power dynamic, it starts the connection, and it starts the energy.  Here is this person who trusts you enough to give their body to you and give you their vulnerability and helplessness.  Only they’re not actually helpless, because they have you.  (So naturally, the most important thing to remember when tying someone up is that it’s not about the rope, it’s about your bottom.  So as often as you can, keep eye contact with them, not so much the rope.)
   
   
2. Then you have the person tied up and you play with them however you want: sensation, impact, whatever.  And that part is also awesome, especially since by now the connection is established, and their power is yours, and that feeling is one of the best feelings in the world.
   
   But.

   Again, my favorite part is actually the UNTYING.  And here's my reason why:
   
   

3. It’s vastly underrated and even rushed, but no, seriously, it's a beautiful moment.  This person, who has literally given themselves to you, by this point is usually so in their headspace that this moment brings you back together. The untying is, to me, so much better than the tying, because the energy you were creating in the tying process is already there and thriving by this stage.  In tying, you are making this person your bottom, and in untying you are unmaking them.  And that is a wonderful feeling of power to have.  The best moment is when you’re untying and your sub can barely move their body to aid you.  Even better if they slump forward into you as you work on a knot.
   
   The untying perfectly illustrates just how drunk they are off of you.  It’s as much a part of the scene as whatever play before.  It also perfectly leads into aftercare, which can also be amazing. 

In the lifestyle, bondage is both over and under-rated.  It can be thrown together as a quick tie or it can take forever as a shibari harness.  But sometimes we Tops/Doms can forget, it's not about the rope or the handcuffs. 

And that's my favorite part of bondage, not the final product, but rather the making and umaking of a person.

Humiliation.

I have mixed feelings about this.

I have not had an experience yet where I enjoyed it, but I also know that I am young yet.  But the thing is, I have no interest in an entire relationship based on humiliation.  Dirty talk and the occasional humiliation play is different; that could be negotiated.  But to constantly be this "super cruel" Domme who is "sickened by this pathetic man/boy" that I see a lot of submissives on here asking for?  No, it's not for me, and I'll tell you why.

Submission is important to me.

When someone submits to me, the very last thing I want to do to them is mock them for it.  It takes a strong person to give themselves to another like that.  When someone submits to me, I am in awe.  Playfully and sometimes sadistically in awe, but awe nonetheless.  When someone submits to me, they're giving me their trust, their hopes, their desires, and they give me the power to decide if they get any of those hopes and desires fulfilled.  They give themselves to me for my gratification and satisfaction.

Do you know how proud that makes me of them?  How I want my future collar to be seen as a symbol of that pride?  It would devastate me if my signs of ownership were taken as degrading.  A thing to be ashamed of.

Submission is a hard-earned gift, and I want to always honor that.  And when I dominate someone, it means just as much as their surrender means to me.

And if you think that this makes me a weak Dominant, oh buddy, you better press that back button and view another profile, because you will never get to know just how wrong you are.

I am a part of my local communities and some not as local - my favorite being The Red Chair.  I'm sorry, but if you have no desire to get into BDSM communities (munches, play parties, demos, conventions, etc.), I'm likely to write you off as incompatible (or worse case scenario, a predator/creeper) and move on. 

Okay, this site is confusing.  I'll click a link to a chat request or a profile, and it'll take me back to the home page?  Oh well, small troubles, I'm sure I'll figure it all out.