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I knew exactly WHAT and WHO I wanted. I want someone that loves me and won't disappear on me without a word. I need someone that will be there for me and doesn't break promises every time that we get back together. That won't have something come up or break up with me just before we are about to meet each other in real life. I love you so much, but you have disappeared without a word or trace what 5 or more times on me in like 4 months time. I have forgiven you for it time and time again because I love you. Because I do want to be with you. I was willing to come to you, to meet you, spend the day with you, but then something came up as it usually does when it is time for us to meet and we couldn't. Then next thing I knew you were gone again. Not answering emails, texts, or anything. I have said time and time again when you have come back and told me what had kept you away from me, that you could have written my number down and had someone get ahold of me and let me know what was wrong with you. It doesn't take but a couple of minutes every day to text me or email me and let me know what it going on. I love you and worry about you. How do you think it makes me feel when I don't hear from you for what over 10 days now? I don't know if you are sick or even dead for god's sake! No matter how many times I tell you that I love you and want you to be with me it is never enough. I don't know what else I can say or do that will make you believe me. I have tried so hard to keep faith in you, but everytime I do you pull this on me, but then I end up being the bad guy when it is you that have disappeared without a trace on me! It isn't ME that doesn't know who and what I want, it is YOU that doesn't. I am right here, no matter out difficulties and our break ups, we always came back to each other and I have always wanted you to come here and be with me, that has never changed, but you haven't shown me that you are sincere about wanting to come to me, even just for a visit. When it comes down to just days till you are supposed to visit something always comes up and you can't. My heart has been hurt so much but you are under my skin, someone that I can't just get rid of. I love you, but I don't think my love is good enough for you and that hurts me so much. No matter what, I love you and always will. I thought you wanted what I wanted...maybe I was wrong.... |
