Collarspace.com

Horizontal Line
Vertical Line
Horizontal Line

Horizontal Line

Evocateur

Vertical Line


I am a complete person; an educated, evolved, sensitive, definitive person who happens to be dominant in significant relationships with women. The dominance for me is not a kink, not a way to get more sex than I'd otherwise get. It's just who I am and the way I choose to relate with those I grow emotionally attached to. I feel a huge responsibility and sense of ownership within a D/s relationship, and over 25 years of being a Dom I've actively learned and worked to make sure I can act on those urges to the benefit of us both.

I know my way around ropes, cuffs and any number of pain inflicting devices and I'll use them as often as I feel, but it's never really about those props and those acts. It's a relationship; everything I do, kinky or not, alternative or not, is a ramification of what mentally exists between myself and her. Hopefully everything will also end up being an enhancement of that relationship too.

I'm not sure whether I'm actively seeking someone here, but I am constantly intrigued by the lifestyle, and now that I'm as experienced as I am I feel that at the very least I have something to offer others in terms of advice, or training, or merely as a sounding board. If a real connection develops then great, but you can't schedule emotions to just kick in when you'd find it convenient. If you like what you read so far, and especially if my journal posts strike a chord, get in touch and we'll start whatever ends up starting.

Horizontal Line

12/26/2011 5:43:25 AM

Two years ago I wrote a few new year's resolutions designed for some of the doms on this site to perhaps follow. The doms I'm referring to are not those fine folk who understand this lifestyle and particularly understand what moves submissive women to be submissive. This list of resolutions is for the benefit of those doms who have systematically sucked the patience and hope out of so many women who deserve better treatment. Decades ago I was probably of the same mindset and probably had the same effect, but I had good mentors, maturity that was yet to develop and a willingness to listen. Now I'm expanding on my original list of resolutions in the hope that the right people listen.  For those who need it, I have annotated each resolution with a brief explanation.

 

 1. "I will not write to a submissive woman and open with the line 'you are my slut and I command you to kneel at the keyboard'."

 

In fairness, writing anyone a message like that is a heck of a way to guarantee your mailbox will not clog itself up with replies. She's nobody's slut until she wants to be.

 

 

 2. "I will accept, immediately, that I am totally incapable of converting a lesbian to heterosexuality." 

 

 Trust me friends; a lesbian being converted to heterosexuality by you is as likely as you being converted to homosexuality by a gay man. It is just as fundamental a leap. Gay people didn't choose their gayness any more than you chose to be straight. It's hard-wired, it's permanent and it's not going away just because you managed to photograph your dick for us all. 

 

 3. "I will make dominance meaningful." 

 

 If the rules of your house involve your girl, your lover, your life partner doing things like addressing you as "oh great and mighty warrior" when you return from work still wearing your Pizza Hut delivery uniform, trust me pal; it ain't going to last.

 

4. "If a woman doesn't reply to me or otherwise indicates she's not interested in me, I will accept that, as I would expect someone to accept my lack of interest in them."

 

Responding to rejection with anger, vitriol and verbal abuse is a fast train to getting ridiculed by millions of women on this site behind your back, and man would you deserve that. We are all a dream for a few women, a nightmare for a few women, and nothing in particular at all for the great majority in between. Chances are not all the women you write to will decide that you're the dream. Grow a pair and accept it.

 

5. "I will manage my own life well before I worry about handling someone else's."

 

If your electricity bill is overdue, your bathroom hasn't been cleaned since Halloween and you're living on rice this month because you just had to have the latest version of Grand Theft Auto on the day it was released, you're just not ready to instruct someone else on any aspect of their life. You need to figure out what really matters and make those things happen. Control yourself or you have no business pretending you can wisely control someone else.

 

6. "Before I do anything at all that causes pain or restriction to another person, I'll learn how to do it safely."

 

Every hospital in the developed world has frequent emergency admissions because of people using a riding crop, a pair of handcuffs or a butt plug without knowing what can go wrong. Lots and lots of things can go wrong. Gagged women can vomit and choke in seconds. Butt plugs can dry up and fuse to the rectal lining. People with arms tied can overbalance and have nothing to break the fall. There are locations on a human body which if whipped can cause life threatening organ damage. If you want to experience jail time because of your own lack of preparation, go right ahead. It makes a lot more sense though to do a little research first and become the man she can trust.

 

 

 

 


4/10/2010 6:01:02 AM

To every submissive woman who has been here too long without success, who has had enough of men who ask what you're wearing within 5 minutes, who has been insulted or even slandered in an email from a man because you were honest with him in your choice to look elsewhere, who has spent lonely boring nights looking at this screen wondering why they bother, who has spent too many evenings under the sheets hugging a pillow and cursing their own submissiveness because it so drastically limits their relationship options... I have news for you.           Keep trying; keep searching. There really are dominant men and women in this world and on this site who understand the submissive mindset, and look upon it with admiration, desire and a sense of responsibility. There are dominant men and women who know exactly why you obey us, what it represents, and what you feel as you realise your rare and overt actions are deeply pleasing someone. Those who call themselves dominant but are clearly not there yet may well get there in the future. I believe I'm there now and I once wasn't. They know not what they do. Keep trying; it could be the biggest prize you ever fight for.

(I posted this about 6 months ago and at the time I was encouraged to re-post it frequently because it moved several souls at the time, so here it is again, and I still mean every word of it.)


1/12/2010 3:50:11 AM
I've just been accused of not being a real man. A quick look below the belt tells me that physically I still qualify, but according to a room full of my fellow man in a chatroom a little earlier, I am just not the full Monte. The reason: I don't have a breast preference.

The conversation I stumbled into involved 4 or 5 guys describing, in some cases in incredible detail, the ideal pair of breasts. Seriously, some of these guys have put years of thought into this, and hopefully for their sake many long hard hours of field work. When they asked me I simply told them I don't particularly care, and suddenly the topic of conversation was the whereabouts of my lost manhood.

Clearly the fact that I seem to have found great and sincere pleasure in most, probably all, of the breasts that I've ever eyeballed, caressed, tied up, clamped, waxed or flogged makes me rare among men, and apparently not quite among men at all. I even made the cardinal sin of suggesting that there were dozens of other similarly erotic sites on the surface of womanhood, but the men I was talking to had no time at all for the back of her neck, the base of her spine, the sides of her ribcage, the skin just under her jawline, her eyelids, the inside of her thighs, the palm of her hand or anywhere else not conventionally covered by a bikini. Alas, it seems I still have so much to learn about women; thank heavens I've got these guys available to educate me. :-)

1/1/2010 5:52:11 AM
New Year's Resolution time:

I'd like to suggest a generic suite of new year's resolutions for the majority of male dominants on this site. These resolutions have been inspired by reading the profiles and journal entries of several dozen female submissives. For those who need it, I have annotated each resolution with a brief explanation.

1. "I will not write to a submissive woman and open with the line 'you are my slut and I command you to kneel at the keyboard'."

   In fairness, writing anyone a message like that is a heck of a way to guarantee your mailbox will not clog itself up with replies.


2. "I will accept, immediately, that I am totally incapable of converting a lesbian to heterosexuality."

    Trust me friends; a lesbian being converted to heterosexuality by you is as likely as you being converted to homosexuality by a gay man. It is just as fundamental a leap. Gay people didn't choose their gayness any more than you chose to be straight. It's hard-wired, it's permanent and it's not going away just because you managed to photograph your dick for us all.

3. "I will make dominance meaningful."

    If the rules of your house involve your girl, your lover, your life partner doing things like addressing you as "oh great and mighty warrior" when you return from work still wearing your Pizza Hut delivery uniform, trust me pal; it ain't going to last.

12/30/2009 6:54:54 AM
Someone here asked me what I want from life, and I thought I'd make my answer public property on here because I love the sound of my font.

What is it I seek in life? Man if I don't work on keeping this short I could write a novel. I have been extremely lucky in life already; I have already experienced some incredible moments, days, years. A lot of what I want I have already had, and want again because it was so enriching the first time when I didn't even know how best to respond to its presence.
I want to die knowing I have lived. I want to continue getting better at my job, which I have reason to believe I'm already extremely good at. I want to use the skills I have to make the world a slightly better place for having allowed me to walk it for a while. I want to love deeply, fall hard but land squarely on my feet and rise again. I want to always like who I am, and always affect whom I meet. I want to be fairly close to the best I can be without becoming obsessive or overly serious about it. I want to cut my toenails more often; it'll make my socks last longer. I want to never let go of the fact that what I own and what I'm worth and how I look don't count much at all towards who I am. I want to feel I've earned it; that I've earned the stuff, the respect, the popularity, the submission, the deference. I want to be told loud and clear when I've screwed up, because every single time someone had the guts to do that for me it left me a temporarily deflated but permanently better person. I don't want to end up being the richest, or most famous, or most notorious or most successful man in the graveyard. I want to be the most satisfied. Come to think of it, I want a drink. :-)

10/11/2009 5:24:57 AM
I've been asked what my likes and dislikes are as far as D/s activities are concerned. The reason I have no list of those things on my profile is becasue it will be (and should be) different for each new relationship. It's not about the props, the toys and the techniques. It's about a woman's willingness, obedience, and trust in me; and I have to earn all of those without any battery operated assistance. I have been in a relationship where it was entirely appropriate and moving to use a cane almost daily, and I've been in a relationship where even spanking her was a rare thing. That difference didn't make either relationship better or worse than the other; they were both exactly what they should have been. Gentlemen, I assure you, it's not about the props. It's never about the props. Yes, props will be used, activities will be undertaken and you'd better know what the hell you're doing when that happens, but it's just 3D pornography if it doesn't have the emotional basis behind it. Get to know her, better than you've known anyone. That's domination.

9/28/2009 5:32:13 AM
To every submissive woman who has been here too long without success, who has had enough of men who ask what you're wearing within 5 minutes, who has been insulted or even slandered in an email from a man because you were honest with him in your choice to look elsewhere, who has spent lonely boring nights looking at this screen wondering why they bother, who has spent too many evenings under the sheets hugging a pillow and cursing their own submissiveness because it so drastically limits their relationship options... I have news for you.           Keep trying; keep searching. There really are dominant men and women in this world and on this site who understand the submissive mindset, and look upon it with admiration, desire and a sense of responsibility. There are dominant men and women who know exactly why you obey us, what it represents, and what you feel as you realise your rare and overt actions are deeply pleasing someone. Those who call themselves dominant but are clearly not there yet may well get there in the future. I believe I'm there now and I once wasn't. They know not what they do. Keep trying; it could be the biggest prize you ever fight for.

Vertical Line

Horizontal Line
Horizontal Line
kajiraelizabeth
 
 Switch, Age:  64
 Post Falls, Idaho
/photos/tn/tn_969762p02.jpg