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The Largest BDSM Community on the Planet

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Hetero Male Master, 49,  Arlington, Virginia
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Last Online:


 Dominant Male



 Willing to Relocate

 6' 0"

 185 lbs






Actively Seeking:

Submissive Female

 Lives For:

 Fine Dining

 Anal Play


 Eye Contact Restrictions


 Mental Bondage

 Obedience Training

 Serving as a Maid/Butler

 Speech Restrictions







 Canes and Crops


 Corner Time


 Hair Pulling



 Masks (On Partner)

 Massage (Getting)


 Orgasm Denial



 Wax play

 Body Art


 Lifestyle BDSM

 Old Guard




 Foot Worship

 Outdoor Bondage

 Plastic Wrap




 Victorian Household

 Curious About:

 Needle Play


 Gas Masks

Im not the Master youre looking for.

Dont say I didnt warn you.

If you cant, or wont, develop into a rose, whats the point in pruning you? )

Go with a nice cuddly, daddy, whos just over the moon with having his dick sucked, who you can take home to mom, who will buy you chocolates and flowers...

If youre not inspired by the possibilities of a more magical world, a more fulfilling but also more demanding world...

If you dont know theres a mystery in your soul, or are just to lazy to work to reach it...

If youre not a very dirty girl, and a girl with a heart of gold...

If you think this is all about checking off your bucket list of kinky thingies...

If youre not looking to really become something more...

If you think this is a game, to while away your empty, meaningless time on earth...

Then you wont be, at all, able to handle what I require of you...

Show me you believe in yourself, which has nothing to do with your opinion of yourself...

Show me you are truly motivated by that singular need that resides between your legs...

Show me youre not a total muppet )

Im not impressed by how pervy you were with your last guy.

I dont care about what you think youll do.

I only care about two things the motivation you bring to succeeding at your true purpose, and the adaptability you show as we discover whats really in you, as opposed to what you think you want.

The very first word is what can I do,
The last go home, your mommas calling you... )

but, maybe, there wont be a last word...
Im a keeper -- I dont give up on you...
you may well give up on yourself, on your potential...
which by the way, also means, Im extra selective in choosing girls Im convinced have actual potential...

Final note, the more I believe in you, the harder Ill be on you. The more I find you pathetic, the crueler Ill be, but then again, I kinda like that... ).

Its the in-between that bores me to tears...

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Journal Entries:
4/17/2018 8:38:34 AM
True Story: A girl I met at a bar the other day told me she had my name tattooed on her chest... I said "I didn't agree to be your owner yet, take it off ;)".  She said "Can I take something else off instead?"

Too bad I was just passing through ;) I only do committed owning.

4/3/2018 2:59:51 PM
If the Marketplace grabs you by the brain ;)... you've come to the right place! :)

4/21/2017 7:59:34 AM
This is hilarious:

9/28/2016 6:42:10 AM
There's two sides to every girl...
I prefer the back side ;)

9/11/2016 7:34:15 PM
== Results from ==
99% Dominant
99% Master/Mistress
98% Owner
97% Degrader
96% Rigger
94% Sadist
87% Brat tamer
75% Daddy/Mommy
73% Voyeur
58% Experimentalist
57% Primal (Hunter)
54% Non-monogamist
42% Ageplayer
30% Exhibitionist
4% Vanilla
3% Masochist
1% Brat
1% Pet
1% Primal (Prey)
1% Slave
1% Submissive
1% Switch
0% Degradee
0% Girl/Boy
0% Rope bunny

7/3/2016 5:09:01 PM

"If you don't have a sense of humor... it just isn't funny"

"Love is no joke", but it is fun, and funny.

5 points if you can identify the second quote, 25 points for the first.  When you get to 300, you get one free kiss.

5/28/2015 7:34:22 AM

There exists in the stories of those who desire enlightenment, an ancient parable of a wealthy and powerful man who heard of a great spiritual teacher who lived on a mountaintop.

This wealthy and powerful man was used to the best of everything, and was used to getting whatever he wanted in life.

One day he resolved that he should have the best, not only in life, but also in his spiritual teaching.  Having made this determination, he journeyed to the mountaintop to seek out the most famous wise man and engage him as his teacher.

When the man finally arrived at the mountaintop, he was dismayed by the rustic and simple nature of the teacher’s home.  The guest quarters were not up to his standards.  He found himself rethinking his decision to seek enlightenment from this man.  Surely, the best teacher would have a better house.  Certainly, the place for those who come to study should have more comforts and more amenities.  Finally, full of judgments and disapproval, he decided to stay and see what this wise man had to offer. 

The man’s frustration began to increase daily as he was told that the master could not see him yet and he would have to wait.  He did not like this at all.  After all, he was an important and successful man.  Didn’t the foolish people who served the master know how valuable his time was?  Maybe the disorganized and disrespectful way they ran the business of managing the master’s engagements was why they could not afford a better house for the master, and better quarters for their quests.  He resolved to provide the master with this insight as soon as he saw him.

As the days passed, the man found himself growing increasingly impatient and angry.  He resolved that if he did not see the master the next day and start to get the instruction he had come for, he was going to leave and look elsewhere for his instruction.  After all, this was not the only master on the mountain.  He had only come here because he had heard this master was the best.  He was certainly reconsidering that opinion.

The next morning a messenger came to tell the man that the master could see him.  “About time,” he thought, but now that the time was here, he resolved to meet with the master to accomplish his purpose of beginning his enlightenment instruction.

He was delighted that he was served a steaming hot cup of tea.  When the master entered, he sat before the man, took up the teapot, and said, “Let me serve you some tea.”  He then began to pour.  As the teacup began to overflow, the man cried out. “Stop, can’t you see it is overflowing, you fool.”

The master calmly stopped, looked at the man and said,

I cannot teach you.  You, like the teacup, are too full.
You are filled with your own opinions and sense of importance.
You must first empty yourself out, to be able to
receive real knowledge or understanding.”

Ponder on this.

When you decide to grow, to change and transform your life, it is important to open your mind to new ideas and concepts. A part of growth is letting go of old ideas or ways of being in order to make room for new concepts that will serve you better.

The journey through life is an adventure. To grow, you must expand your awareness to new thoughts that will serve you as the person you are becoming.

All that is past, both your failures and your successes, are resolved as you open yourself to the power of the present. Open your life to the promise and potential that is unfolding and being created in the miracle and magnificence of an open mind and an open heart as you explore all of the ways you can awaken to the new opportunities and the successes and joys that are in the process of being created for you by life today.

Embrace the possibility of transforming your life as you shed the old and open to new possibilities right here, right now, today.

9/1/2014 8:48:57 AM

Warning: if you're just obsessed with sex, or a mate, if you've never let your eyes up from your search to see the wider world, never pondered the swelling tide, the rising of the glorious star that is our life giver, or the deep inky black of space with its brilliant diamonds, then don't bother reading further, you'll just get frustrated.  Of course if you like frustration...


Not interested in women who are lost and lonely, empty of purpose, stuck in their little box, living a conventional little life, just looking to play around with D/s because they read about it in some trashy romance novel, desperately hoping that being 'submissive' will suddenly allow them to get the guy they've never had. 

On the other hand, I am interested in a diamond in the rough, a woman who wants to grow, to become that which is hidden, latent, waiting to be seen, to be felt, to come out into the light, to shine in the darkness.  I want you to be a full person, to be fully alive.  I want you to feel deeply, from the heart.  I want you serve 110% with your body, giving all of that precious juice you have to something greater than yourself.  I want your mind to be active, to know and understand more than others, and I want you to be totally and completely commited, your will joyfully engaged in each moment. 


I can train your body, and incite your passion.  I can form your behavior, and mold your responsiveness, but I cannot force your aliveness.  I can point toward where it lives, that mysterious, magical world that is closer than your skin, yet hidden from the ordinary view, but only you can make the journey.


You're a woman -- you're a contradiction.  I'm a man -- the center of your spinning vortex


I believe in the complete sexual enslavement of (certain kinds) of women.  I also believe in caring for their bodies/hearts/souls.  I am a commitment minded person with the sensitivity to know that commitment is more than just time, real commitment is in the soul


I will degrade you more than you ever thought possible, I will lift you up beyond your wildest dreams

I will enforce your service mercilessly, Yet cherish you in every moment

I will mold your behavior to my passions, and your soul to the passion of all life

Your job is to make me want you -- it is a constant, unceasing, absolute commitment.


We all seek to belong to something greater than ourselves, something sure and steady, something glorious and penetrating, something profound and deep.  We all seek for magic and beauty and glory, and we need it to be rooted in pungent, dark, wet soil wedged between massive granite boulders.  We need the blazing heat, and the cool earth, the scorching sun, and the icey cold water dripping down from vast and mighty glaciers.  We need the frenetic dance of busy bees hunting for todays honey, and the quiet peace  of silence, resting, securely held, doubts vanished in the darkness, where defeat becomes victory, and uncertainty forgotten in the security of the duties of the moment.


I'm a big fan of the power of opposites.  I seek mystery in the mundane, the profound in the practical.  There is glory in debasement (and in the basement), power in humility, strength in servitude, and freedom in rules, restriction, formality, and ... chains. The more tightly, the more stictly, the more precisely you are held, the more you can relax, certain of the walls which delineate, but do not define you.  The more formal your behavior, the more the real, fluid, sparkling you can shine through.  Most people are stuck halfway, not daring to be engulfed by the pratical realities of life, struggling to escape, they miss the joy and radiance, vision and glory that this simple moment radiates in a quiet, profound and eternal love.


You're not here to find a dom.  You're here to find an extravagant, exciting, glorious adventure.  One that fulfills you by bring your inner most secret being into full flowering, daring to reflect the beauteous joy of the sun, securely rooted in the safe supportive nourishing depths of the dark, wet soil.

You know the passion, the intensity, the need, that lies deep within, buried beneath the strictures of a lifeless society, and you know that the embers need to be stoked into a roaring, and ravenous flame.  You are already that ravenous need, waiting, patient and silent, for the kindling that will first spark you into life, then the logs that inspire you to burst forth into radiant joyful, playful, burning.


Are you ready for an adventure?  Are you inspired by the possibility of a journey that will transform, enhance, and ultimately complete you?  Do you understand that any road worth treading on has twists and turns, changing from left to right, from low to high?  Given enough trust, can you believe in yourself?  Can you fit a form that is imposed on you, making it your own, without ever becoming it, free in the next moment to step into the next outfit, the next pair of tight fitting shoes, this time with a little more sparkle, a little more grace, a little more elegance?  I may start you at the bottom, in the basement, chained, naked, but I want you to grow to become more.  I don't want a robotic obedient compliant drudge, I want a woman, who brings all of herself to life.  One who participates, joyfully, with inspiration and creativity in her own debasement, her own enslavement.  I want a woman who is all women, who can be flirty, fun, and fabulous without ever losing sight of the strictures that bind her (invisible though they may be to onlookers), the rules that allow her poetry to fly even higher, and the passion to give all she has til nothing is left, when everything is attained.


I'm not here to find a sub.  I'm here to revel in the creation of a slave girl.  Discovering the supple, smooth, dancing, bending, reaching, yielding girl within the rough, grey, plain rock that the ordinary world sees, is the challenge that brings me closer to the passion we share.  Step by step, in a slow steady surprising, yet certain dance, we both enter in to something magical and greater than either of us. 

You long to be seen, but I dear sweet animal, I see more than what you are, I see what you will be, if you are willing to be molded.  You must have a rock foundation to rest upon and root yourself in. Under and over, between the cracks the earthy wet, muddy, pungent soil feeds and cools you.  You must have a column to wrap yourself around as your voyage to the sun begins.  Then when you have formed a solid base of learning, structured by the rigid requirements of your support, then, and only then, can you branch out, expanding into the particular variegated display of light, exploding color and dark shadow that is your special, unique way of being all female, open, receptive, yielding to the storms, and animals that pass your way, bending beyond what seems possible but never breaking, because the sweet juice of you is endlessly renewed, ceaselessly cultivated, and passionately devoured endlessly making room for more.


All women know, in a much more direct way than men, the ravages of life, the slow, steady onslaught of time and experience, the brutal trials and terrible twists that fate has decried this mortal coil.  The only question is how you will go to your fate.  Resisting, looking back, afraid, losing, or fearlessly embracing, opening, yielding to the outrageous demands, firmly fixed in the pattern, and thereby expanding, wordlessly out beyond it, victorious. 

Women know better than men, that buried, hidden, locked away within them, but immediately accessible in a wordless way the knowledge that all this is just maya, illusion, a game on a sunny day.  They only need one thing, the guide that will reveal to them their own secret, to lead them on the journey that demonstrates their victory, the strange and daring game of light and shadow, of cold steel, and raw leather, and molten wax, and rough rope, of low places, and small details, complete and total devotion to the outrages inflicted by a capricious, and callous god, revealed in each moment as the dance of glory.


Women know their place is to serve, to be the ground that is walked upon, the food that is eaten, the servant at the table of the bounteous feast consumed by their gods, and the offering that will appease, nourish and glorify him.  In this knowledge they partake of and become one with the greater glory, the only true owner that we all belong to.


I am the stone column you wrap your soft tendrils around, seeking to conform that you might rise to the sun.

I am the sculptor, hewing your rough wild and untamed form to reveal the living breathing, soft beauty lying in wait.


I am the puppeteer playing on your strings and pushing your buttons.  I'm the most critical member of the audience, and the most loving -- I'll take you home and put you in your box no matter what kind of performance you gave.  I'll pick an outfit that brings out your most hidden qualities, and one that hides you in plain sight. 


I revel in finding the perfect fit, the too tight collar, and the too loose clothes, the shoes that make standing a challenge, and walking an offering of openness.  I love the hunt for the buttons that trigger your transmogrification into the animal that has been waiting to be tamed, taught, guided and ridden, that it might merge with a will and world infinitely larger and more powerful than its own.


What is Love?  Would you know it if it whipped you on the ass?  Is love passion?  Is love commitment, is love a collar, is love a curse?  If you don't have love now, you never will.  Beg for love forever, it will not come.  Give it now -- it is yours this instant. Does talk of love turn you off -- you're afraid of love.  If I treat you coldly, callously, impersonally, do I not love you?  If I cater to your every whim, have I not abandoned you?


Yes, I speak of Love, and live it.  My path, my journey, my direction, my effort is all aimed at Love.  Not the fleeting, superficial, quick silver of romantic love (not that there's anything wrong with that ;) ) but the deep abiding foundation of reality, the true 'Great One', the Goddess Mother Kali, the pulsing, heartbeating, pounding energy of Life that creates every moment.  Because I know myself as Lover, I disguise myself, as love so often does, as judge, jury and executioner, only to reveal myself, when not just your need, but your receptivity is at peak, when you are most vulnerable and most afraid, most loving.  Though you are love and loved already, still you must prove yourself, to yourself most of all but I will play the gate keeper.  I am willing to be the embodiment of that god for you, as long as you know how to keep your heart focused on your only true owner, the possesor who has always and will always rule your world without the slightest shred of concern for your specialness, who nonetheless sustains you, feeds you, demands everything you have, who ceaselessly gives to you more than you know.  I am not She, but I might very well be her representative in your life.  You are not Her, but you must strive with every fiber of your being to give as She gives.  Perhaps then you will find me, and Her.

2/11/2014 6:49:00 AM

"It is very difficult to learn to love. If an of fascination or some kind of dream or promise is presented to you, you might fall in love. But it is very hard to love if it means purely giving love without expecting anything in return. We can only fall in love if we think our expectations will be fulfilled. In most of our love affairs, our love is conditional. It is more of a business deal than actual love."

—Volume Two of The Profound Treasury of the Ocean of Dharma by Chögyam Trungpa


Edit: this keeps pasting in wrong.  It should read: if an o b j e c t of fascination... etc.


I think cm must have some kind of word filter going on




12/15/2013 12:36:31 PM

I romanticize the idea of a master owning a woman as a slave, and ultimately coming to love and cherish her, which in no way means that she ever ceases to be a slave.  Just like Thomas Jefferson.  The word ultimately here is advised.  It doesn't mean, all along the way.

12/15/2013 12:32:55 PM

I'm not seeking a girlfriend.  I'm not seeking a wife.  I'm not seeking a friend.


I"m not going to treat you like a woman.  I'm not going to try to woo you.  I'm not going to try to charm you.


I am going to treat you like a robot, like a tool to be used, like a flunkey, like a slave.  You are here to perform a role nothing more.  I'm going to disrespect you, from the very beginning, giving not the slightest thought to your feelings, or desires.


There's only one caveat to that.  I want you to try to get me to treat you like a woman.  I want you to try to get me to love you.  I don't mean in the first five minutes, or the first five weeks, or months, but first 5 years sounds about right.  I want you to make it, I want you to succeed, really, because I have a lot of heart, but it won't be easy, at all -- that's because its worth having.


I'm not on here looking for someone whose 'into kink' -- there are much better ways to find such a woman.


I'm not here looking for some lost soul, trailer trash, beat down for generations nightmare whose got nothing, and hopes that by acceding to horrible treatment, she'll magically get love, value and self respect.  You won't.  Grow up, face yourself, start making an effort to heal.  Let me know when you've developed some real human traits.


I am here looking for a woman with elegance, class, grace, and poise, or at least manifests the potential to develop these.  But I'm going to treat you exactly the way I describe above. 


Your job is to fit the role without becoming the role.  If you adapt to any of its multiple stages too well, I'll become bored and you'll be out.  If you protest and complain, you will earn a longer and more severe experience of more of the same, or demotion to a lower, earlier stage.  You've got to demonstrate readiness for growth/expansion of your role.  You've got to have patience waiting for the opportunity for that to come, strength in meeting the demands of each role as it is presented, and wisdom in understanding the changing of the seasons.  Most of all you have to have genuine heart -- if you give love, unhesitatingly, and unceasingly, with no thought of reward at all, it will ultimately be returned. 


Wanting long term, or commitment is easy.  Its like wanting money.  Everybody wants it.  'wanting' indicates lack both of the specific thingy and of the general process by which having occurs.  Giving is how having happens, not wanting.  Can you give without expecting to 'get'?  Most people these days aren't willing to give anything, and are endlessly surprised they don't have.  Don't be stupid.


D/s, S/m, are intensifications of the fundamental male/female dynamic with all the peril and promise that they hold for us enlarged, engorged a thousand fold.  It is power and asymmetry acknowledged and worked with.  It is the dynamics of romance, writ large, in an utterly unromantic fashion.  As such they way one handles it, determines the kind of outcomes you get.  When you want kink, but offer nesting... gee what a surprise things don't work.  When you want commitment, but demand instant satisfaction... gee what a surprise, things don't work.  When you want love, but give body... gee, what a surprise, things don't work.


Sex is about bodies.  Love is about hearts.  To reach the one through the other requires following the rules of the later, in regards to the former.  Love isn't love.  Love isn't romance.  Love isn't nesting.  Love isn't getting what you want.  Love doesn't care about you at all.  Love isn't romance.  Love isn't fascination and Love isn't chemistry. 


We value things according to how hard they are to achieve.  This is not the modern belief.  the modern belief is that things have inherent value, and to get the thing is to get the value.  That this belief doesn't work, is blatantly obvious to any who want to see it.  If you want something of value, if you have value, and want to share it and extend it, if you know yourself to be valuable, then you will want to work as hard as possible in relating to another.  All the more wonderful then when someone is willing to put up a road block, to say no to what you both want badly enough to actually do the work of achieving.


Because of your manifold and genuinely wonderful qualities, I'm going to treat you coldly, callously, and with haughty disregard.  Because you have value, I'll treat you like dirt.  Because you have heart, I'm going to treat you like a body.  Because you have a mind, your expression and behavior will be extravagantly limited, and meticulously controlled.


Because you want to win me over, you will work infinitely hard for as long as it takes to do so.  The more I sense your worth, the harder I will be on you.  The more I sense your effort, the harder I will be on you.  The more you start to succeed, the harder I will be on.  When I start to lighten up on you, watch out -- I'm probably starting to bore.


Even if you have all these qualities, there is still one more you'll absolutely have to have: if you are bent on destruction, we aren't a match.  You've got to have some eye on the horizon, a genuine commitment to full and alive life.  If you are running from or indulging destruction of your true being.  I don't want you.  I can't afford that kind of involvement.


A slave has to earn even the right to stand in her Owner's presence, much less to wear clothes.  None of the things that girls normally get so easily, like sex, are even a remote possibility until a host of tests have been passed, behaviors learned and internalized.  An aspiring slave's first step is to be brought to the most basic animal level, not even allowed to speak, and only slowly brought back up as she internalizes her new role in life.  Nothing that transpires before hand counts at all, right?.  What good is a slave who doesn't know the proper postures to assume, the proper way to stand, and how to serve food, or her own breasts, mouth and rear?  If being whipped doesn't make her wet, how then can she be fucked?  If orgasms are her priority, is she anything more than a cheap slut?  Why bother owning a girl who makes demands, believes her service should be the center of attention, or is unable or unwilling to serve in any way required?  Can she truly be called owned if you can't give her away, for an hour, a day, a week, or indeed relinquish all title to her?  Is she truly property if she is not marked? Can she be allowed out of the house if that which distinguishes her from men is open, available to any quick talking, handsome young thing? What good is a slave who can't get along with other slaves, or believes deep down that she owns her Masters Scepter and not the other way around? If she believes the name her parents gave her is her true name, is she a slave?  If she chooses her own clothing, decides for herself what she will eat, is she a slave?  What use is a slave who can't function at a party, on a trip or meeting family without betraying her inner being, while never losing sight of it, hiding it from the naive or unsafe with subtlety and art, but displaying it in plain sight at the same time to those for whom it is intended?  What's the point of making a lifetime commitment to someone who doesn't understand what love truly is, thinking its about men and women and babies or worse yet romance?  How can her growth be celebrated if not through ritual, and how can her commitment be tested, and proven, if not through permanent marks?


Do you have what it takes?



7/6/2013 4:14:45 AM

Everyone talks about a 1950's household.  How about a Roman Household.  That's more like it.

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