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All initial emails with less than three sentences, or missing capitalization and punctuation, are deleted and the sender blocked.
I am a switch. I have not bottomed or submitted since 2016, but if you cannot handle your dominant or top taking the bottom side I am not the one for you.
I am NOT looking for a dominant or top, hence identifying my profile as a domme. I do not reply to dominants or tops looking to dominate or top me.
I am polyamorous. I live with my wife Raine. She is aware of this profile and what I am looking for. She and I are play partners working back toward a power exchange that ended during the worst of the isolation because of COVID.
I am not looking for an Ms relationship or an Op relationship. If you self identify as a slave we are not compatible. I am not a female supremacist and I do not practice TPE.
If you are younger than 24 please do not apply.
What I AM looking for are local play partners, lovers, and or submissives. Local means in or around San Antonio. I am not looking for someone to relocate, move in with me, or play with me while they are visiting San Antonio.
My ideal submissive is service oriented and open to a variety of play styles and techniques, and open to trying new things. My ideal play partner has interest in multiple kinds of play and enjoys intense play and receiving pain.
Giving cunnilingus is a soft limit. Receiving cunnilingus is not high on my priorities list, although it can be lovely. I LOVE dildo play and fisting. I have reservations about strap-on harnesses.
If you are not in the San Antonio, TX area regularly, don't contact me as a potential submissive or play partner. I don't "play" online and I have no interest in choreographing elaborate scenes for you to act out on webcam to fulfill your fetishes. I am living my flesh life and I don't have time for an online life. Friendship and conversation are welcome, but no leading questions trying to get me to provide fap fodder.
My dance card is sometimes (over)full but that's the way I like it. There IS room in my life for a full time submissive should I come across one who is compatible with me.
The remainder of my profile remains intact from before:
I find minds sexy more often than I find bodies sexy, though I can certainly appreciate a sexy body! I love intelligence and learning, enjoy teaching what I know and learning from others, be they friend, lover, submissive, Dominant, switch, or myriad role identities.
I'm open to finding kinky friends who can hang out at home with or without play, play partners who share my interests, lovers, or submissives. Or all of the above. A poly pansexual service oriented submissive who likes edgy as well as everyday play, can take intense pain and get satisfaction from it, and wants to serve a BBW Domme would be great. ~Santa, here's my list, no, I'm not holding my breath.~
Micro e-mails are a pet peeve of mine. Write an e-mail with at least three sentences. But don't send me a novella either - it takes getting to know someone before I'm motivated to read something overly long. One or two paragraphs is great. You could tell me what you liked about my profile, why you are writing (friendship, submission, playing, learning?), tell me a little bit about yourself.
I'm looking for a submissive that gets fulfillment from both service and play. I'd like to find one whose mind and body both attract me. I want to find a submissive and/or play partner who loves to explore, who loves lots of kinds of play, who finds intensity and connection sexy and hot and gets a lot from the connection in a scene not just what type of play is being done. I want to find someone who is up for light spanking and tickle play one day, and a wicked caning another, who can handle flames licking across their skin and delight in it just as much as a tongue's caress. I want someone who can play light and silly as well as deep and intense, who can enjoy something as mundane as a spanking while still being open to trying hot, sexy, edgy, rough shit.
But it's not all about play. I want a submissive who gets along well with me, who is a delightful conversational partner, who is intelligent and sometimes witty. I would love to find a submissive who helps me with my flaws and supports me in my own goals as much as they work to improve themselves and make me proud they are mine, to be in my service. I want a submissive who is willing to help out, whether it is helping me fold laundry and dry dishes or brainstorming a website design. Gimme gimme! A submissive who loves to learn! A submissive who loves to serve! A submissive who loves to play! A submissive who loves letting go of control! A submissive who is self aware, practices self honesty, and communicates clearly! I'm not interested in someone whose ONLY interaction with me is for BDSM, or for play, or for sex. I want to find someone who can become a part of my life, who feels comfortable joining me for vanilla hangout time, sexy snuggle time, as well as kinky dress up and play time.
But that doesn't fully describe it either. I want to find someone who feels that submission is about more than doing chores or taking a good beating. Where is that mind hiding that WANTS to be told to do something disagreeable, because submitting is sometimes about doing what you DON'T like. A submissive who knows saying "I don't like that" is a way of giving me more control. That it doesn't mean I won't do it any more, it just means when I do it I will do it DELIBERATELY!! Are you out there, craving someone who isn't afraid to deny the things you like just to watch you squirm and make you beg for them? Where is the submissive who loves high protocol as well as casual time? Where is the submissive who can make offering to take my plate into the kitchen touch my heart? Where is the submissive who isn't ashamed to kiss my feet in front of friends, who wants to be the best they can be so that I can be proud to own them? Are you out there, unready to give everything to a stranger, but wanting to let go and give up control, incrementally, as trust develops?
Read my journal entries to learn a bit about me. This is long already, so I won't start trying to describe who I am, but if you'd like to know, ask and I'll probably answer.

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12/25/2023 2:55:23 PM

My journal is fixed?


Happy Holidays to all! May you find the partner(s) that help you feel satisfied and complete, may you find what you seek.

12/15/2023 7:04:06 PM

Started to feel lightheaded and had to end my scene early. My play partner was completely understanding and I can't wait to play with him again.

Is it kinder to block and delete, or to reply to a patently incompatible inquiry with "Can you read? Did you read?"

11.18.2023 My new journal entry option has disappeared. My only choice is to edit existing entries.

11.23.2023 Happy Thanksgiving. Remembering what I am thankful for.

12.15.2023 When you message someone, tell them why. Declaring what you might have in common is a start, but follow up with how you want to be friends or you are hoping to get to know me. Otherwise you're likely to get a good for you and a big fat block. You're reaching out to me, remember?

9/8/2023 4:11:19 PM

Not that anyone reads these journals but...

My first sentence on my profile states my requirements. Three or more sentences with punctuation and grammar.

There's no need for perfect spelling, immaculate punctuation, or the Oxford comma. I'm well aware of the filters collarspace uses on email and I know that is out of your control. But at least try. It's obvious if you didn't try. Periods aren't filtered out. Grammar speaks for itself.

So if you want a response, try. Because if it doesn't look like you tried? I will block you and delete your message.

If you write a lovely email about relocating to me? I will respond then block you and delete your message.

And if you send me a nasty note because of what is in my profile? Then block me? I will make sure you are blocked and then thank you out loud for saving me the effort.

Ms. Elorin 

9/8/2023 4:03:25 PM

Dear male doms,

Yes, I mean you, too. Pleasant as you may be, an email with less than three sentences is blocked then deleted. I'm not picking up what you're putting down. Short sentences with punctuation count. Thank you for the compliments. Here's your block.

Ms. Elorin 

9/4/2023 6:35:37 PM

I'm an open book! Ask me anything!

It seems on the surface to be a very friendly declaration. Maybe you think "Wow, anything!? How brave!" And perhaps they are being brave and truly would answer any question put to them. But my experience is different.

When someone says "ask me anything," their contribution to getting to know each other frequently stops there except for answering direct questions asked of them. There is frequently no sharing of "more" or stories of "Oh, when that happened to me..." Instead the only things I learn are the things I ask directly. Which shifts the emotional burden of getting to know each other from "US" to "ME." And later on, if I didnt know something, the blame shifts to me for not having the forethought to ask, rather than it being on them for not volunteering relevant information, or better yet shared blame for not getting to know each other better before XYZ.

My first marriage was to a man that I believe was and still is a compulsive liar. And one thing he did that was excruciating to me was NEVER volunteer information. It was a method of CYA (Cover Your Ass) so that if he had to cover something up, the less that was known the fewer things he had to cover or sweep under the rug. Trying to get information out of him was like pulling teeth.

So I admit, when I see "I'm an open book!" I have a knee jerk reaction, but it is not solely based on the experience with my ex-husband. I have dealt with more than a handful of people with that mantra both online and off over the years and for the most part, they have similar traits. No volunteering information, only answer if asked, no sharing about experiences spontaneously, and only share as much information as necessary to cover the question.

My advice (unsolicited, worth what you pay for it) if you use one of these phrases and you are sincerely trying to be open and brave, is this:

1.) Find another way to word it. Saying you are an open book triggers a knee jerk reaction in more people than just me.

2.) Take the time to realize what you would like to know about a potential partner in early getting to know each other stages

3.) Be prepared to offer the same information about yourself without waiting to be asked each specific piece of information before you share it.

What this may look like: Hi I'm Elorin. "Hi, I'm Jim. Can you tell me a little about yourself?" Well, you found me on FetLife so you know I'm kinky. I've been into kink for over 20 years, I consider myself a Dominant Sadistic leaning switch and I like canes.

You don't have to tell everything at one question. But you don't have to make them dig for pieces of information, either. I didn't volunteer information about my relationship status, the number of pets I have, or my sexual orientation. You can give that information as it comes up. But don't be of the mindset that you need to hoard your information anymore than that each question needs a two page info dump. Pace yourself, be open, and share equal and similar information to what someone shares with you.

My $0.02


9/4/2023 4:12:17 PM

To preface my response to your request that I consider you to relocate, I get a number of requests like this per week and yours will be the straw that breaks the camel's back.

Read the fucking profile.

I am not interested in re.loca.tion Stop. End of story. It's none of your business why, I have reasons and have no intention of sharing them with your entitled, demanding ass that did not read the fucking profile.

What's that? You did read the profile before writing me? Then what kind of entitled ass of a submissive would you make if you are going to disregard my established boundaries and preferences in your introduction letter? Think for just a tiny moment. Do you really want a domme that has such wishy washy limits that in the first email you can convince her to change them? Even if you answered yes, I'm not that domme.


8/19/2023 7:27:26 PM

I was told the problem with profiles like mine...

Well, I could take all of the reasons I delete and block off my profile. It doesn't mean I'll stop doing it. Just that you won't know what I'm doing and why anymore.

Somehow that doesn't seem like an improvement to me.

8/19/2023 5:50:58 PM

I recently made a fabulous email connection with someone. We met in person and even had a negotiation date, all the while exchanging intimate, connecting emails at least daily. We met for a play date and somehow didn't connect. It's weeks later and I have been essentially ghosted after one apologetic I don't know where we stand email.

It amazes me that someone who spent so much time emailing me and connecting with me thinks so little of me that she can't be honest and say this isn't going to work.

The only thing worse than being ghosted is being ghosted by someone who said I will never ghost you.

8/18/2023 4:07:52 PM

I like men's broad muscled shoulders. So all you people with photos of broad, muscled men's shoulders out there, thank you.

8/16/2023 6:11:40 PM
On collarspace today someone messaged me then blocked me so I couldn't reply. I deleted the email and now I wish I hadn't.
Basically the person was bitching because of my stated standards on my profile. Three sentences, grammar and punctuation or I will block and delete the email.
The person thought they'd be making this fabulous point by pointing out that collarspace has the wierd filter that zaps punctuation and replaces some words. Except I already know about that and it isn't something I block for. I was accused of assuming things that I don't assume, but the person, rather than asking, didn't find out the truth of the matter and rather assumed about me instead.
There was more to the email, but it is always irritating when someone makes their own assumptions then accuses me of making assumptions about others.
I could update my profile to explain that I know about the filter issues, but anyone coherent and eloquent enough to know about and ask about it has already earned their way into my good graces. And anyone who assumes THOSE are the punctuation and grammar issues that I'm talking about isn't someone I'm interested in anyway.
I'm not worried about perfect punctuation, spelling, or grammar. As my profile says, "All initial emails with less than three sentences, or missing capitalization and punctuation, are deleted and the sender blocked." Maybe I can make that clearer, and maybe I will, but the person who thought they were calling me out but didn't have the courage to see what I might reply got under my skin. That kind of cowardice masquerading as bravado is just bullshit.

8/13/2023 4:00:52 PM

I have experienced a bumper crop of eloquent, coherent, grammar filled emails lately on collarspace. I'm sure it is an unusual experience and I will go back to getting (and blocking) 4 word and 5 word messages with no punctuation asking do you need a slave? But it has been a pleasant interval.

8/10/2023 5:53:28 PM

Recognizing an area in my life that needs improvement, making a plan, and improving over time helps me feel more in control of my own life and more able to take control of a potential submissive. Course corrections are a necessary part of the flight plan, but the fact that they reaffirm my chosen role is a pleasant bonus.

7/28/2023 6:19:37 PM

Added new strap on photo in duckie Hawaiian shirt. Just the tip. (Yes I know, the shirt needs ironed.)

7/21/2023 9:24:20 PM

I wonder why people get so bitter and then take it out on someone else who is not compatible and not responsible for their bitterness. Am I bitter? Yes, some but I don't go looking for incompatible profiles and take it out on random strangers. I bitch in my journal instead. LOL 

7/20/2023 5:53:51 PM

Why is it so hard to understand clearly stated boundaries and limits?

7/7/2023 5:26:48 PM

Gentlemen, and I use this term loosely. If your profile says you are a dominant male or master and you are writing me to dominate you, I'm frankly not interested. If you aren't willing to admit your role as switch, sub, bottom, or slave to the world, you aren't worth my time. Adjust your profile or don't waste my time. Block and delete is your fate.

7/1/2023 8:55:55 AM

June is gone and so my month long birthday celebration. I appreciate everyone who celebrated with me and the gifts I received and bought for myself. Not much by way of the playroom and toybag, but I did get a new black rolling table to hold toys clean and nearby when needed. My favorite gift to myself is the rubber duckie boyshorts - the fabric is super soft. I went back to buy more but the limited edition duckie print was gone so I had to pick other patterns. I look forward to shopping at this vendor more in the future.

Happy birthday to me and here's to another trip around the sun! I look forward to what the next year brings.

Ms. Elorin

6/24/2023 2:24:34 PM

From the big bad male dominant:

It looks like you were cute at one time but let yourself go to hell. This is less than 3 sentences btw. block my ass.

My response:

That was three sentences and I don't take commands from strangers. Does negging make your feelings feel better? Assumptions are easy to make and often wrong, like yours today.

Big bad male dominant had already blocked me. Maybe too afraid of what I might say?

6/24/2023 9:54:30 AM

As of 6/24/2023 I will not just delete introductory emails with less than 3 sentences. I will block the sender first. My profile has been updated to reflect this change in policy.

6/23/2023 7:28:31 PM

So it crops it's head up again, and I feel the need to address it head on. 

My profile states that I am only interested in someone who is local.

Yet I continue to hear from "subs" in new england, tennessee, iowa, you name it.

Do they do me the courtesy of asking why I want someone local? No.

Do they ask me if someone who is free to move to San Antonio would be considered? Do they ask if it matters that they are independently wealthy or can work anywhere in the country? No and no.

Instead they assume that they know what is going on here, and they know what I want, and plow ahead with no consideration for my clearly stated boundary/interest level.

I will therefore state (again) clearly:

I am looking for someone who is local. I have no time or interest to engage in the kind of drawn out online vetting that I would require to allow someone to move to San Antonio because of me. It doesn't matter if you have money, employment, high employability, connections or a lack thereof where you are or in San Antonio. If you do not live in or near San Antonio or regularly (3 or more times a month) come to San Antonio ALREADY you are NOT LOCAL and I am NOT INTERESTED.

If you are curious about what it tells me when you are not local but you contact me anyway with the intention of becoming my submissive, look for my earlier journal writing addressing this very same topic.

6/22/2023 5:09:21 PM

If you want to serve me, do the fucking work to get to know me.

6/13/2023 3:57:47 PM

Celebrating my birthday all month long. Tonight I am indulging in fondue and the company of good friends.

6/6/2023 4:50:17 PM

Let's just say your guilt trip worked. It didn't, but let's say that it did. Would you really want to be with someone who said they weren't interested but hung around for the guilt trip? Do you think that is a solid start for a relationship? Are you that fucking self centered?

6/6/2023 12:16:44 AM

I miss the emerald green water and sugar white sand.

I miss Karkeke park and tidal pools.

I miss mountains everywhere you turn.

I'm not feeling very San Antonio tonight.

6/5/2023 8:44:03 PM

How to know if you should write to me.

If you are tempted to put the abbreviation HMU in an email to me. Save yourself the trouble. Don't write.

If your profile or email uses the abbreviation NSA. Don't bother.

If you self identify as an adult baby. I'm not interested.

If you self identify as a slave. We're probably not compatible.

If you self identify as a bull. Save yourself the time. Don't write.

If you actually read my profile and are interested in more than the pretty pictures. Please write.

If you have met me in the past, online or in person, and want to renew our acquaintance, please write.

If you read my journal and you know the passphrase, please write.

If your interest in me goes beyond your next fap session, please write.

If your profile or email includes the phrases female supremacy or TPE, keep on trucking.

If you feel the urge to tell me about wanting to worship my pussy. Go away.

If you use the term breeding to describe your interests in bareback sex, you'll want to save us both time and not write.

6/4/2023 9:43:17 PM

It is so frustrating to ask a question and have someone ignore it in favor of providing what they think is a better answer.

What date is the event?

Oh I don't approve RSVPs until you pay.

Ok, but what DATE is the event?

Here's the link to the event.

Great, but now I don't care to attend because you won't answer the question I asked!





6/4/2023 6:24:32 PM

3 sentences does not guarantee a response. There's lots you can say that will get your message deleted on sight, no matter how many sentences you use. Obvious form letters get deleted as soon as I see them for example.

6/1/2023 4:05:45 PM

When you contact me as a potential dominant expect me to set the pace. I will not have a voice or video call before I am ready and I most certainly will not meet you before I am ready. If your emails do not meet my standards for getting to know each other, I will wish you well.

I don't have an artificial timeline I can provide for how many days or emails exchanged before we will meet and the harder you push for an ETA, the less likely there will be one.

Ms. Elorin 

5/28/2023 1:53:26 AM

I got an email asking what I am into. Short of a BDSM checklist, here's a summary

I'm dominant and enjoy being in control, making decisions, being obeyed, developing trust, setting goals, agreeing on consequences, developing and enforcing rules.

I am a top and I enjoy bringing both pleasure and pain, applying restraint, sassy talk, working on goals, challenging my bottom, leaving marks, eliciting tears, causing yelps.

As a top and sadist, some play styles I enjoy include wax play, clips and clamps, nipple torture, CBT, impact (paddles, canes, wicked sticks, crops), fire play, violet wand, rope bondage, leather restraints, metal restraints including sometimes handcuffs, needle play, knife play, and erotic artistic cutting.

I don't expect every play partner to enjoy every form of play I do. A potential submissive of mine is expected to be open to trying new things but not expected to enjoy them all.

5/26/2023 2:45:08 PM

I wish I understood the urge to write to a stranger and make obscure pronouncements.

I am moving.

I tried it.

Even compliments like You have sexy feet or I love your hair.

I wonder if they get an effective response rate from others. They certainly don't get anything from me but the delete button. I don't think I can be any more clear. Read the fucking profile. Emails with less than 3 sentences are deleted as soon as they are opened.

Yes, even compliments.

Even cryptic declarations.

Especially cryptic declarations.

Occasionally I am tempted to reply to a nice message with a thank you or ask a cryptic declarater (declarator? one who declares cryptically) WTF. But then I remember that EVERY SINGLE TIME I have made an exception, I have regretted it or felt it was a terrific waste of my time and effort or both.


I guess I will never know where random guy is moving or what other random guy tried. Maybe I'm better off not knowing.


5/21/2023 8:14:46 PM

I gave my foot care/pedicure/foot worship presentation for the second time today and I am much happier with how it went this time. It felt odd doing it in public but the bakery was ok with it so we went with it. Super thankful that my mentee Ms_Esmee volunteered to let me give her a pedicure. Excited about how it went and looking forward to any opportunities to do it again.

5/6/2023 7:29:57 PM

I always wonder when someone messages me and deletes their profile before I get a chance to answer.

5/3/2023 6:13:48 AM

My profile makes clear that I am looking for someone who is local.

If you are not local, if you don't already travel to and stay in San Antonio regularly and you write to me wanting to be my submissive, that tells me something about you and our potential dynamic.

It tells me that you don't believe the rules apply to you for some reason. How would this inspire me to enter a dynamic with you where I make the rules, never knowing which you will respect and which you will disregard on a whim?

It tells me that you won't respect my boundaries. How can we build trust if I know that my personal preferences and limits are meaningless to you?

It tells me that you lead with your dick. And honestly, I don't care how turned on the idea of submitting to me makes you. If I can't trust you to respect my boundaries and follow my rules I sure as hell am not going to engage with you sexually.

5/2/2023 6:53:56 PM

On enthusiasm:

I am demisexual, demiromantic, sapiosexual. I enjoy getting to know potential partners, exploring their minds and learning how they think.

If I'm not interested, I assure you that is what my reply email would say, if I send a reply. (I delete all emails with fewer than three sentences, regardless of the content.) If I take the time to go point by point through your email and bring things up, I'm open to possibility. I am not going to erupt in gushing enthusiasm because you wrote to me, no matter how pretty your language is or how long your profile is or is not. Enthusiasm develops over time, as connections build and I have a chance to see your cranium at work.

If I replied, and I was not dismissive by saying I'm not interested, there's a chance. If you give up because you need enthusiastic reactions from the start, all I can say is thank you for saving me the trouble. We are not compatible.

5/1/2023 4:26:55 PM

Ignoring a clearly stated boundary in my profile is not the way to get me to make an exception for you. I'm not making any exceptions, but if you had acknowledged the boundary and your reasoning behind thinking you were special enough to get an exception, I would not have blocked you.

4/30/2023 7:16:26 AM

Variations on a theme:

If you want to be friends, be friendly. If you want to be friends but find the need to tell me you are willing to relocate, I will doubt your underlying motivation.

I do not live in a home with room for additional people to live. I am married to a non-US citizen and cannot sponsor anyone from out of country. I do not want to sell my home for a larger one.

I am looking for someone local for a reason. I know what I want. Don't insert yourself into this size 7 glass slipper with your size 12 situation and expect me to coo over you walking all over my clearly expressed limits and boundaries.

4/27/2023 7:48:20 PM

Attended an interesting class on spanking today. The venue was over booked so it was a bit crowded. It was the presenters first time, so I think he will improve with practice. The venue had some interesting decor and I really wish I had heard where they found their masks. I'm not sure if the venue will succeed but they have a sincere desire to appeal to the kink crowd.

4/23/2023 2:38:06 PM

If you do not live in the US, you are not local.

If you do not live in Texas, you are not local.

If it takes you more than 4 hours of driving in normal traffic to get to my door, you are not local.


Much as I love exchanging emails and getting to know you, if you are not local you are not a potential service oriented submissive.

I will not play games of what it would be like if you were here. I will not provide fap fodder. I am not looking to spin an elaborate fantasy of what might have been, if only.


I am looking for a local service oriented submissive and play partner.

Respect that.


4/19/2023 8:22:10 PM

I'm looking for additional places to present my foot care presentation given at PolyBigFun this month. If you are in San Antonio or within a 2 hour drive and interested in having this presentation, please send me a message. I have a handout, a prsesenters outline that can be shared as a resource after the class, and one lucky attendee gets a free pedicure (I am not a licensed aesthetician, this is an amateur but luxurious pedicure).

4/16/2023 11:47:01 PM

Real Service by Raven Kaldera and Joshua Tenpenny may have changed my life. I know I will read it over and over again. Ladies, gentlemen, anyone who reads this, I recommend this book.

4/16/2023 11:04:23 AM

Made updates to the profile. Waiting for approval to be able to answer mail again.


4/10/2023 9:25:15 PM

It's frustrating to me to meet someone who "courts" me as a top and domme but doesn't make clear that they are polyam or playing with other tops/dominants. Worse is when they ghost me later, apparently because they have moved into more serious relationship status with one of the other tops/dominants. I don't mind the relationship status change, I don't even mind if it means we can't talk anymore. I do mind the lack of courtesy of one last message explaining that I won't be hearing from them anymore. However, as transitive as BDSM relationships are, I do know that when this one ends, I won't be picking up the pieces.  You made very clear how UNimportant I am in the grand scheme of things. Don't think I will forget.

3/26/2023 8:03:26 PM

When you initiate a let's get together conversation, you have some choices when you decide it's not going to work out. Why is ghosting the #1 choice as opposed to saying thanks for your time but no?

3/26/2023 8:02:30 PM

When you ask someone for resources and they provide them, free and above board, no strings attached, have the manners to say thank you!

3/22/2023 4:06:26 PM

3 sentences or I delete your email.

Read the fucking profile.

If you send me a banal "good morning" with nothing to respond to or talk about I will delete your email and possibly block you.

Simple as that. I'm not here to exchange empty pleasantries and waste my time. If I replied to your email that just says "good morning gorgeous" I would be giving you the wrong impression and wasting your time too.

3/19/2023 8:42:27 PM
This is a somewhat tongue-in-cheek, somewhat serious exploration of how to get to know someone via collarspace.com. Or, I guess to put it honestly, how to get to know me. Step 1. Read the fucking profile. My profile is not short, but it?s not War and Peace. It has important content in it that will help you know whether we are compatible or not and save your time AND mine. When you see a photo of someone you are attracted to, a compliment is a lovely thing. But if you honestly want to start a relationship or dynamic of some sort with them, read their profile before writing. It?s a form of respect, both self-respect (keep yourself from writing to people who are wildly incompatible with you) and respect for the other. Step 2. Don?t call me Mistress. I don?t like unearned titles, and if you MUST address me by a title, Ms. is enough. Don?t call me Miss, don?t call me Goddess, don?t use one of a hundred other unearned titles. If the time comes when addressing me by a title is appropriate to our relationship, you will know and we will discuss the appropriate title at that time. Until then, you may call me Elorin or Ms. Elorin. Step 3. Three sentence minimum. This is my 95% rule for responding to a letter on collarspace. A rare exception comes in where I respond to an initial email with fewer than three sentences, but for the most part, that?s the rule. If you feel like writing three sentences is too much to ask from someone with no relationship with you so far, that?s fine. You can choose not to write or you can write less and I?ll just delete your message when I read it. And if you send a long, run-on sentence with no punctuation and capitalization, I?ll treat it as one sentence and delete, even if it should have been three sentences. This is a personal value of mine, and it?s important to me that my partners are literate and able to write and express themselves. I realize that some people don?t do well with writing, or expressing themselves online, and I have made an exception in the past to meet people in person and give them a chance to express themselves in person, but that is rare and again, 95% of the time, if you can?t write and sustain emails with me for a short amount of time, you won?t be compatible with me in person. Step 4. Don?t immediately ask to go to another media.

3/19/2023 5:46:55 PM

Yes, I'm bitchy. I'm demanding. I expect effort to be put forth in getting to know me before I switch to IMing or video chat because so much IMing seems to be spent saying hi, how are you, how was your day and so little of it is spent actually learning about each others' personalities, kink interests, and compatibility. I prefer to weed out the incompatible rather than waste time meeting and learning we are incompatible after attempting to negotiate a scene in person. Am I demanding? Yes, because I have high expectations and because I'm looking for something that lasts, not just a quick fap that ghosts after the first photo, IM conversation, video chat, or meeting in person.

3/16/2023 10:16:08 PM

Why do the promising ones disappear and delete their profiles?

3/11/2023 9:05:27 AM

This is a somewhat tongue-in-cheek, somewhat serious exploration of how to get to know someone via collarspace.com. Or, I guess to put it honestly, how to get to know me.

Step 1. Read the fucking profile.

My profile is not short, but it’s not War and Peace. It has important content in it that will help you know whether we are compatible or not and save your time AND mine. When you see a photo of someone you are attracted to, a compliment is a lovely thing. But if you honestly want to start a relationship or dynamic of some sort with them, read their profile before writing. It’s a form of respect, both self-respect (keep yourself from writing to people who are wildly incompatible with you) and respect for the other.

Step 2. Don’t call me Mistress.

I don’t like unearned titles, and if you MUST address me by a title, Ms. is enough. Don’t call me Miss, don’t call me Goddess, don’t use one of a hundred other unearned titles. If the time comes when addressing me by a title is appropriate to our relationship, you will know and we will discuss the appropriate title at that time. Until then, you may call me Elorin or Ms. Elorin.

Step 3. Three sentence minimum.

This is my 95% rule for responding to a letter on collarspace. A rare exception comes in where I respond to an initial email with fewer than three sentences, but for the most part, that’s the rule. If you feel like writing three sentences is too much to ask from someone with no relationship with you so far, that’s fine. You can choose not to write or you can write less and I’ll just delete your message when I read it. And if you send a long, run-on sentence with no punctuation and capitalization, I’ll treat it as one sentence and delete, even if it should have been three sentences. This is a personal value of mine, and it’s important to me that my partners are literate and able to write and express themselves. I realize that some people don’t do well with writing, or expressing themselves online, and I have made an exception in the past to meet people in person and give them a chance to express themselves in person, but that is rare and again, 95% of the time, if you can’t write and sustain emails with me for a short amount of time, you won’t be compatible with me in person.

Step 4. Don’t immediately ask to go to another media.

I’m on Collarspace, you’re on Collarspace, write to me on Collarspace. If things go well, there will be time to provide my FetLife ID, or my Telegram ID. For the record, I don’t have an Instagram, Kik, or Twitter account, I don’t use Skype anymore, and I have no idea how to use TikTok to chat. If you want to talk on instant messenger, I use Telegram. And I won’t move to an instant messenger program until I’ve talked with you long enough to feel like it’s worth my time.

Step 5. Volunteer information.

Look at my profile. Look at your profile. If your profile is essentially empty, or is turned off, and basically provides zero information for me to learn about you before replying to your first message, provide some information about yourself when you write. Please note: a first email should be one or two moderately long paragraphs. If you write me a book in your first email, I may or may not read it but I won’t respond to it until I have time to dedicate to it, whereas a shorter email may get a response sooner. However, still, three sentence minimum. A good first message starts with a little bit about yourself, what you liked about my profile, and what you’re looking for – getting to know me, playing with me, becoming my full time submissive, something else entirely.

Step 6. Ask questions.

While my profile is long, there is plenty of information I did not provide. Ask me a question about something you’d like to know more about me. However, if you read the first two paragraphs of my profile and ask me something that you would know if you’d read the whole thing, I’ll probably delete your email. Fair warning.

Step 7. Share your answer

Either when you are initially asking the question or after I have replied with my answer, share your answer to the questions you ask! This prevents me from having to say “I like XYZ, what do you like?” and makes the getting to know you process go much faster.

Step 8. Volunteer more information

Whether answering a question of my own, or as in step 7, providing your answer to a question you asked me, volunteer information. There ARE yes or no questions, but there are very few questions where you can’t provide at least a little context with your answer. When you reply to questions with one word answers, you force me to try to ask follow up questions to figure out what the context is. This translates in my mind to how you would be during negotiations in BDSM. I spent years in my first marriage “pulling teeth” from a compulsive liar and control freak, trying to find out what the actual situation was and learn what was going on in our life. I refuse to do it again, and if I find myself having to “pull teeth” to get information from you because you are giving one word answers, I’ll just write you off and move on to someone who is more interested in actively getting to know me.

Step 9. Do NOT send me unsolicited fantasies.

It’s one thing (and an ok thing) to say, “I’ve always wanted to have a crop scene.” It’s another thing to write 5 long paragraphs about your ideal crop scene when I haven’t indicated any kind of interest or desire in knowing. Unsolicited fantasies are an automatic block.

Step 10. Do NOT ask me “If I were there what would you do to me/what would we do/what would it be like” questions.

I’ll shut you down and refuse to answer, and possibly block you. These are basically a request for free fap fodder and I’m not in the business of providing it, even if the honest answer would most likely not be enough to masturbate to. NOTE: If we’ve been writing for a while and you are planning to visit me/meet me and you ask me what to expect, that’s different and won’t get you blocked.

I don’t expect anyone to read this entire thing, but if you do, mention the instant messenger program I use with the word snowflake and you’ll get bonus points in our exchanges.

Ms. Elorin

3/4/2023 11:37:58 AM

Put a 50 percent payment on four corsets to fit the smaller size. Can't wait until next payday to pay the rest and get my four corsets in the mail!

3/3/2023 6:49:41 PM

I was asked to mentor a friend. I felt honored and delighted. I have been asked to teach technique before, but have never been asked to mentor someone. We had a fairly vague subject matter, but we set a weekly meeting time (with alternating location so as to split the driving burden) and met and discussed various topics over the course of a few months. We only missed two weeks - one due to my family emergency that erupted shortly after she arrived at the house, the other due to a scheduling conflict.

Next week is probably our last session and I am dismayed at the prospect of our regular meetings coming to an end. She is a smart, dynamic, powerful dominant and now an even more empowered wicked top. I can't wait to see what she does with all the knowledge I have conveyed. She is every bit my equal, albeit less experienced in these techniques, and I am hoping we'll do some collaborations in the future. I'm proud to know her and even prouder to claim her as my mentee. I don't like the terms student, pupil, or apprentice as none of these are accurate to our relationship.

As this chapter closes, my first experience as someone's mentor has been a very positive one. I hope any future dynamics are as rewarding.

~Ms. Elorin

2/25/2023 11:47:11 PM

Why would I want to go to the chat rooms to chat with a male Dom? Particularly one who doesn't use punctuation or grammar?

2/20/2023 11:22:41 PM

Seriously, read the profile. I'm not looking for a relationship that has to be sustained online. I have no interest in directing webcam shows. If your note has fewer than 3 sentences I will probably delete it.

I took time to craft a detailed profile. Share similar information with me when you write. If you really want to impress me, take some time and put effort into writing an introduction before you hit send.

2/20/2023 9:42:12 AM

Have something I can call you. it doesn't have to be your legal name. Elorin is not my legal name. I'm not calling you by your collarspace handle if it is not a name. If you can't come up with a name, you don't have enough initiative to play with me.

2/19/2023 7:05:04 AM

If your introduction includes addressing me as Mistress, the word humiliation or related terms, or phrases like oral worship or facesitting, we are not compatible.

2/15/2023 8:18:24 PM

Back at collarspace after years away. I updated my profile but haven't looked at the interests list yet. So much has changed in my outlook and what I am seeking.

8/10/2017 4:29:27 PM
I have decided to be more honest. If someone is looking for monogamy, or diaper play, or lives across the country or out of the country, a polite no thank you will do. Not to mention those who can't read the profiles and write at least 3 sentences. Save my time and theirs so they aren't hopeful when I know it won't come true.

9/2/2011 5:02:12 PM


Everyone has expectations of others, some more realistic than others. You can let me know if my expectations are unreasonable.


1)If you contact me, I expect you to do the majority of the "getting to know" process. I.E. you ask questions, you e-mail more questions when you answer my questions, etc. If you are passive, you'll end up being forgotten.


2) If you are submissive or trying to get into my pants, I expect to be "courted", especially if you contacted me first. (If you are submissive and I contact you, I still wish to see an expression of interest in me or a clear statement of no interest, but you don't have to "court" me.)


3)I expect intelligence, including but not limited to use of fully spelled out words, punctuation, reasonable use of grammar, etc. I hope for a sense of humor but don't expect one.


4)  I expect humanity. I don't wish to know only about BDSM and your fetishes. If you can't share about your real life outside of kink, don't bother me.


5) I expect you to read my profile if you are contacting me first. If it's too long to read all at once, fine, take it in a few sittings. Take the time to find out if I'm what you want or not before bothering me. If your first few e-mails are about things that would be answered if you'd read my profile, I won't continue e-mailng you.


6) I expect continuing communication. Which means if you get my Yahoo IM address and then stop e-mailing, I won't be interested. 


That's enough, for now.



4/23/2011 7:30:25 PM

I just received an e-mail.

"You're gorgeous! Do you have a yahoo so we can chat?"

 Let me help EVERYONE before you write me something similar.

 1) Yes, I have yahoo. I even use Yahoo messenger to chat.

 2) No, you can't have my messenger ID until you've e-mailed me a few times.

 3) If you can't read my profile and send a long enough e-mail, I don't want to talk to you.

 4) I'm not interested in talking to anyone whose SOLE interest in me is my looks.


~Ms. Elorin


2/14/2011 8:35:30 PM

Hrmmm...how to word this.

Any bisexual males willing to get to know me, and be the "first" for a budding young cocksucker? Said cocksucker would be BRAND NEW to having cock in his mouth, would want me to watch and "direct" the action, and would NOT swallow your cum. In fact, safer sex practices would be in effect the entire time.

If you want to volunteer please sent me mail.


8/5/2010 6:41:42 AM
How hard is it to write back and say "I'm not interested, thank you." ?

8/4/2010 6:35:25 PM
Things change so fast. Life is a maelstrom.

Where is the strong submissive with nice broad shoulders to come help me carry the burden for a while, while I cane his ass for my amusement?

4/22/2010 5:34:43 PM
The boys are out in force tonight. Always promising to spoil a girl, never following through.

What's a woman got to do to find a man who likes to wear matching panties who will foot the bill most of the time?

4/21/2010 4:25:46 PM
Content. That's what I am. Content with my place in life, my relationships, my job. I accept that there is improvement to be had, and I'm working at some of it. I would welcome some additional lovers, subs, service, but I'm ok without it.

Thank the Divinity for peace and contentment.

2/6/2010 5:01:35 PM
After being reminded of it today, I recall the conversation.

The one where I dissed ending a relationship via e-mail because it didn't give any form of closure and it was so immature, thoughtless, disrespectful.

The one where I was promised that if it ever ended, she'd do it in person.

Thankfully now I know the value of my relationship, my time, my effort, my money, my love, the value of sharing my home, my life, my family, and the value of her promises. All are equal. All are valueless....to her.

Glad I know sooner rather than later, when I might have mistakenly tried to rely upon her, trust her, or need her.


2/5/2010 8:02:13 PM
So much for hoping. Exit one young mink.

After all, if she can't edit her profile in 6 months to show she's with a body, maybe it isn't meant to be?

8/27/2009 7:00:08 PM
I'm seriously thinking of giving time and effort to a weekly online class again, BDSM topics, roundtable discussions essentially. Sometimes with reading assignments for the next week. Mostly just off the top of my head /experience and website research to base the discussion.

Anyone interested in attending?

7/27/2009 5:20:37 PM
Just when  I'd lost my hope in cme, along comes a fresh breath of air.

Enter mink, young, gorgeous, inexperienced yet wonderfully mature, and compatible with M and I both individually and together.

The world is full of delight, and I am delighting in the joy of infatuation all over again.

Who'd have thought...actually finding what I'm looking for?


11/10/2008 9:32:23 PM
Fire play tonight. Life is full of potential kinky possibilities all of a sudden. YAY!

10/4/2008 3:33:50 AM
Sometimes a crush is all you need to cheer up and have hope again. Even a hopeless vanilla crush fills life with electricity and possibility.

9/14/2008 5:55:47 PM
Shock of shocks...my sweet innocent submissive of years past, he asked to be released during a really traumatic point in my life, adding to the stress I was going through at that time. I really haven't heard from him since, but he lived in Houston and I tried to get in touch because of Hurricane Ike.

His short and sweet e-mail response "I'm in Florida with my wife."
 o.O OMG

I'm happy for him, but floored all at the same time. I admit I was having fantasies of seeing him and catching up on his life and maybe renewing our friendship. Find out if he ever left the job he was stuck in a rut in when he was released, that kind of thing.

Well paint me amazed. I pray things go terrific for him in his future, and wow, awesome to be married (hopefully happily).  Sad that this means I won't be renewing the friendship.


8/26/2008 5:18:14 PM
It's so much easier to forgive others than to forgive myself. Maybe it's wanting something so badly, and watching it slip away from a simple mistake. Maybe it is that little voice inside saying "happiness is never meant to be for you..." Maybe it is just that I'm a perfectionist at heart, and I despise watching myself fail at something I want so much.

I know I hear the other little voice...the one that rebels, that gets angry, that gets defensive. The one that says "it wasn't your fault" and "forgiveness belongs in others' hearts too." But honestly...this time I fucked up, and the fact is that you can't change those things. I'm sorry and explanations don't make the fuckup go away.

Debating taking the profile down again, frustrated, bitter, cynical.

7/22/2008 9:13:05 PM
PEDI PARTY! Foot slaves wanted!!

I'm throwing a pedi party in my home August 9th, afternoonish (haven't chosen the time yet) and am looking for people to attend.

Couples, singles, male or female are welcome. We'll be going over how to do a pedicure, and depending on the crowd we've got we may do a bit of how to/show and tell for foot worship also.

It will be kink friendly, but there isn't going to be open play or nudity or anything.


4/10/2008 9:19:43 PM
Goodness gracious I got to play.

I can't remember how long it has been since I last actually played...and it wasn't particularly intense. But a precious friend came over and we chatted whilst I caned him.

Possibly I'll get to play at the SOTC party later in April. M and I are presenting on Fire Play and body service. I'm looking forward to that.


2/21/2008 4:58:37 AM
Boot search:
I am looking for a pair of boots to replace the ones in the photo of me with the blue background and black mini dress. You can't see the boots very well in the photo, but they are calf high, have a squared toe box, a square stacked heel, and an inside zipper. I want them in black, and they must be leather.

These are not fetish boots, they are for everyday wear to work and other such things. I've had two pairs very similar and loved them both dearly, but both pair were pleather and fell apart. Hence the need for real leather this time.

If you know where I can find them for a great price, please let me know!

1/25/2008 4:17:40 PM
If it has been more than 6 months since I've talked to you and my only contact with you was on collarme.com, I don't have any way to refresh my memory as to who you are and what we've discussed. Please let me know "we exchanged some letters such and so ago" or give me some clue as to who you are.

I answer almost every e-mail I receive on collarme.com, and while it's not a flood that I can't handle, over the course of 6 months it becomes difficult to recall a particular screen name. Hell, 6 months with no contact means either I didn't make an impact on you, or vice versa, or we weren't compatible.

Thank you for asking "how are you" but if it's been more than 6 months since we last talked, I need more than that to jar my memory please.


1/24/2008 5:52:40 PM
I know I tend to rant here, but there are little things that drive me nuts and I just figure if anyone is reading this, they might learn a bit more about me. I'll try to say something positive with all the irritations so I'm not completely cranky on these journals.

So, #1.
Read. The. Profile.
Really. Read it. If you are not both WILLING ~and~ ABLE to write a e-mail as I describe, don't waste your time. Please don't waste MY time. Yes, there are lots of terrific people in the world that don't write e-mails. I am not looking to add them to my circle of friends, companions, what have you. I value eloquence, the ability and willingness to write and introduce yourself, and myriad other values that I see in a few well written e-mails.
Don't write and tell me that you COULD write the e-mails but don't...then why did you bother? Don't write and tell me that you can't write e-mails but you can instant message. True or not, good for you but I'm not interested.
Really, truly, if you won't write an e-mail that's at least a paragraph long and can answer some SIMPLE questions (they are even explicitly laid out for you in the profile!) then...save yourself time and me hassle. Don't write.

Why ask something if you don't care the answer? Why ask a Domme how she likes something if you are then ~not going to do it that way?~ Why? It just baffles me. It has happened more than once that I have had a lovely exchange going on with a submissive, and then they ask me how I like something, or if they should do something or not. I answer, and they proceed to do exactly what I said I didn't like. When I correct them, they disappear.
Is this like, a test?? Are you checking to see "is she really dominant?" If so...is the correct answer for you "No, she's a pushover?" Come on, I don't come on strong. I don't have a profile that says "address me as such and so" and then bite someone's head off when they don't do it. I don't demand to be called Goddess or Mistress (in fact, prefer not to be called either), I don't insist that subs compose e-mails while on their knees, and I don't make commands about what to do or not do with my photos in the privacy of your home.
So why ask what I like or don't if you are going to just ignore it? WHY??

Finally, on a positive note, I'm delighted to report that I am attending a play party on Saturday. Anyone going to be at CTK this Saturday? I'm looking for a bottom to play with me, I haven't topped in far far too long. There is another, smaller party happening here in town but I'd rather see friends from Austin and have a larger group of people to watch and talk to. (I'd rather the party in town was on Friday so I could do both, but that's not happening.)

Also, I've had a number of sweet gentlemen write to me and share some delicious exchanges recently. Some here, some on my personal e-mail. Thank you to everyone who has lit up my inbox with your words and wit.


1/20/2008 3:03:13 PM
I don't do the "circle of friends" thing unless I know you. A few e-mails is enough for me to let you have me on your circle, meeting me in person is required to list you on my circle.

Mostly, I am just not interested in it.

1/9/2008 6:36:46 PM
On playing and getting to know people:
Playing at home privately implies an intimacy I am not interested in sharing until I know someone very well. Play parties are a safe environment where I can sit and chat with someone, enjoy a quiet scene, and get a feel for how they act in play.

A submissive who gives me the clingy heebie jeebies will not be invited to play privately with me. A submissive or bottom who is responsive, communicates clearly, and seems to enjoy my play style is likely to be invited to spend casual time with M and I, and thus will have opportunities for private play as they might come up.

Play parties are rarely a spectator sport with one couple playing at a time and everyone watching. Most play parties in private homes have the opportunity to pull a door quietly shut and have privacy if that is a concern of the bottom.  They are relaxed and casual and very comfortable.

If you don't play in public and are unwilling to give it a shot, that's all to the good for you, but you won't be a play partner of mine. I don't generally schedule play dates (for a number of reasons) at home, and private play is something more intimate to be offered to good, proven friends not to the casual seeker.

1/4/2008 7:15:36 PM
Contemplating attending the Voyagers party in Austin tomorrow. Don't know if M would be coming with me or not. Would make a difference if I had someone to play with, particularly someone who can take some semi-serious pain.


12/31/2007 11:56:16 PM
New Year's Eve was quiet. I missed work today but spent a good portion of the day working with my graphics program and getting the raw materials to create a digital collage at the suggestion of the woman giving me financial coaching.

This weekend, however, was lovely. On Saturday I got dressed up in black knee high boots (courtesy of my houseboy, a gift earlier this year), a grey skirt (mid thigh), a body hugging red long sleeved blouse and a herringbone vest. And we went grocery shopping.

I made white asparagus cream soup, and it was good.

Then I slipped off the boots skirt and vest and replaced them with the leather hobble skirt and leather corset I got for Christmas, and the black sparkly shoes bought for me by the houseboy as a Christmas gift. And we headed out to a play party.

I knew no one but the host and hostess at the party and was uncomfortable at first, but as the evening wore on I talked with more and more people and had a great time. I didn't get to play with anyone - the once scene I contemplated I cancelled.

A so-called "Mistress" informed me that her "boy" had gone to a bar and gotten stinking drunk, and was calling to be forgiveness for being late - and was DRIVING to the party! I was livid, with him for personal irresponsibility, for her with trying to pawn off his behavior on "he is being really submissive and wants to please" and on both of them for not making him take a fucking cab to the party. I told her to call him and tell him to pull over but she refused. Since I had offered to do a needle corset on her lkater in the evening, I expressed my displeasure and disagreement with her decision to put everyone on the road at risk so her drunk sub could come to a party, and announced publicly (more than once) that I had decided not to play with her and why.

M swatted my ass a few times after I tired of wandering around in the hobble skirt, but other than that and getting him drinks twice in the night there was no D/s involvement nor S&M for me in the evening.

I did, though, meet some really nice people that I'd like to meet again, heard that I am considered a reliable, experienced resource in our community, and have a good discussion with a concerned sub about what to do if a scene disturbs you as an onlooker, and non-verbal safewords when gagged.

That was my play party of the month for December, and I look forward to attending at least one a month for the next year.


12/29/2007 6:23:37 AM
I corresponded with a lovely girl at the beginning of this year by the name of Erin. I still have photos of her saved to my desktop, but I lost track of her in correspondence and now our letters are no longer in my history on collarme.com.

Erin, if you are out there and reading this, please do write again. I never intended to end communications with you.


12/29/2007 6:19:10 AM
Christmas Eve proved to be a delight as much as the days before. I received another poster (I got Bad Ducky like I've been wanting for ages!!) and another piece of leather.

I can't wait until the New Year's/housewarming party tonight to wear my new skirt and my new underbust leather corset together. I hope to get photos though I make new guarantees.

I did, however, get photos of me (with rolled hair even!) in the dress made for me for Christmas. Should you wish to see them, message me with a polite request and I will possibly share them. I'm considering adding some of them to my profile as the photos came out very nicely.

~still seeking a replacement houseboy~


12/23/2007 6:59:52 PM
M and I opened a few gifts early, as he knew I had a few coming that should be "used" and didn't want me going straight back to work w/out a chance.

So my early Christmas openings revealed: 1 skary.net poster (Daddy's Home!) - I am still to get "Bad Ducky" and can't wait until I receive it!!!!
1 dance dance revolution game - YAY! A workout fun game I'm excited (even though the learning curve is obviously going to whip my ass)

and.....~drumroll please~ 1 leather hobble skirt, laces all the way up both sides, with an optional ruffle at the bottom. the drool can commence now. It is begging for a polishing, a boy to lace it up for me, a photo shoot, some trampling and worshipping.

I'm very happy, and I hear there is more great stuff to come!

12/23/2007 6:55:43 PM
I gave my houseboy the Christmas present of a pedicure for me. I love gifts that gift the giver too! I now have a lovely purplish mauve shade of toenail polish and my feet were so happy for two days after the scrubbing, soaking, rubbing, and massaging.

He also helped wrap gifts, watched Invader Zim with me, raided my bookshelf, and then mailed my Christmas package.

If you are reading this honey, I am so thankful for you and proud of you. I can't wait till you return. Swift healing and hurry back.

In other news, Domina here without a houseboy for a few months while mine undergoes foot surgery and recovery....

Merry Christmas!

12/9/2007 7:49:26 AM
I am amazed at the number of males who turn away when I ask them to write an e-mail containing more than three sentences, using punctuation, capitalization, and complete sentences. No, you CANNOT have my Yahoo ID. Not unless you show me that you have something I'm interested in - namely, a willingness work for my attention, and intelligence.

11/18/2007 4:16:14 PM
I've gotten moved in, and am getting itchy dommy fingers.

I want someone to beat, cane, welt, mark, hurt, control.

We missed a party this weekend due to unhappy stomachs, so I hope I get to make it to a play party or two before the holidays. Perhaps I'll strike up conversation with a heavy sub pleased to hear I'm partnered and happy to serve me and bottom to us both or just me.

Who knows. In the meantime, I'm trying to get boxes organized so the house isn't still full of them, and decide what to keep, what to pitch, and what to unpack and use.


8/30/2007 4:45:26 AM
I'm moving! It's official, I'm moving in with my partner M. This means a lot of changes, and a need for packing, organizing, and sorting through stuff. Wheeee fun!

8/26/2007 3:49:00 PM
Although a freakish pill stuck in my throat cancelled my plans to teach a friend about fire play (the pill is gone, and all is well the next morning), M and I were able to purchase the items needed for a new style of fire wands, and practice some of the techniques we learned at the fireplay seminar at the GWNN Bash.

Drumming is an intense experience, one I quite enjoyed. I look forward to my first chances to try it out on someone else, now that I know how it feels. Some of the other techniques didn't work as well, and we need to make new fire wands as the ones we made had size issues. (Too big.)

Anyone want to get lit on fire?


8/8/2007 6:07:44 PM
Why I'm not poly

Despite feeling that "poly" is part of who I am, I am not poly for the following reasons:

I form emotionally close, in my opinion intimate, relationships but don't have sex with anyone other than my primary partner.

I'm not looking for another sex partner, but instead for a meeting of minds with another I find emotionally and intellectually attractive.

I have lived essentially monogamously for the past 3 years and have not met any other emotional/romantic partners in that time.

I'm happy with the above.

Isn't life lovely?


8/5/2007 5:16:31 AM

The summer is over and once again I am free to explore and play at my own discretion.

I attended a few parties over the summer, and the GWNN Bash, but nothing screams out to be documented.

My fingers crave a body beneath them, exploring and hurting as I choose, and my ears crave the sound of gasping, whimpering, crying out from my pain.

My kitchen, on the other hand, craves someone to clean it and prepare a meal in it.


6/16/2007 5:51:00 AM
NO relocation. NO NO NO. HARD LIMIT!! Don't call me Mistress or Goddess. I'm NOT a female supremacist.

I had a lovely birthday. Hooray! Delightful gifts from kiddo, dinner at The Melting Pot with kiddo and M, spent the night with M. Also came home to a great gift from bootbob (it was delivered Wednesday but I got it finally yesterday) and was treated to a "birthday princess" crown to wear at work by the girls. Cake was chocolate ice cream cake from Cold Stone Creamery ~mmmmmmm~ Also, the ex-roommate gave me Silver Passes to Sea World - on the same day that I learned that the ex-houseboy, after saying he'd get us passes, just didn't do it.

I'm loved and I feel it. Happy Birthday to me!


6/9/2007 4:31:57 PM
Despite feeling that I planned it well in advance, the pedicure party fell through. When I discovered at 8 AM that I had only 2 people coming, I cancelled it. Perhaps I'll reschedule, I'm not certain. It's disappointing to try that hard and make plans and have no one want to come, after all the things I've heard about people wanting to attend something like that and learn about service. ~E

6/6/2007 5:08:38 AM
I've met a great sub through collarme. I thought at first he would be nothing but boot and shoe care, which would be FINE with me, but turns out he is interested in being all around helpful. He's given me help in many areas around the house already, and he's only come over twice!

I look forward to meeting his lady and having him meet M, and to seeing where this relationship develops.


5/24/2007 7:58:37 AM
Spent last weekend at Scarborough Faire, had a lovely time. We spent two days which meant we didn't try to "fit it all in" in one day. Since it was our second year going, we also were a bit more familiar with the grounds which made for more comfortable wandering.

We listened to performers, caught the tail ends of shows and planned on catching the entirety of other shows, we browsed the wares, talked with shop keeps, and shopped. I've got a lovely assortment of new possessions, from hair spirals to jewelry, from new garb (M sprang for an entire new outfit for me when he purchased one for himself) to knick knacks.

I was blessed by a beautiful birdie to have her sit on my finger while she ate the piece of apple I offered - she was thanked by receiving an entire apple the next day.

I have 3 new CDs of a lovely pair of performers who sang bawdy songs - we caught their show or portions of it 3 different times over the weekend.

I ate pretzels, bratwurst, caramel apples, catfish and "chips", and kettle corn. I bought the corset I've been wanting for the past 3 years. I fell in love with jade and used self restraint and didn't buy it - though I regret it now (I'm such a whore for jade).

Most amusingly, I admired a piece of thick chain mail - along the lines of a rope of chain mail - and the shopkeep asked me "for your wallet or to hit someone with?". And I completely flustered myself as I said "I would NEVER put my wallet on that." It's a bit hard to fluster me, and I laughed merrily as I flushed red. (I also got a business card!)

I can't wait until TRF in the fall. Please, if you know of smaller Renn Faires in the central Texas area between now and the fall, let me know about them. I'd love to go.


5/12/2007 12:43:07 PM
I am now the proud owner of a new car. Pretty and white, power features, a stereo and A/C. 6 cyl engine so it has more power than I've driven recently.

What a relief, how exciting to have my OWN vehicle. The last time I had a car that belonged to ME and no other was in college. It's been 12 years since my parents gave me a convertible Mustang as a graduation gift.

My own car means I can put on a steering wheel cover, hang my fuzzy dice, do bumper stickers if it strikes my fancy.

I keep realizing more and more tiny little things that having a car means. I'm thrilled.

Discretionary income will be down to zero, but I will be able to come home early enough to get online and interact with message boards, yahoo messenger, and other things.


5/3/2007 11:58:39 PM
I bought the plane tickets today for my daughter's summer visitation. After forking out the cash, I guess I'd better get her room cleared out so she can live in it for two months...

On top of that major outlay, I am preparing to buy a car. Yes, I said it, buy a car. My brother is helping out with a down payment and if I'm lucky I will have my own set of wheels by this time next week. Wheels that I can pack with "emergency kink gear" for all occasions, keep a phone charger in, and add bumperstickers to if I wish. Wheels with my fuzzy bunny "cute but psycho" dice hanging from the rear view mirror, and my music coming along with me everywhere I go. With a change of clean clothes in the trunk in case of wardrobe malfunctions!

Can you tell I'm looking forward to having my own car? 40 minutes of to and from work each day instead of 2 1/2 hours. Time to use the pool (if it ever opens), lay in the sun, and spend time with my little one when she is here. I can't wait.


5/1/2007 8:10:33 PM
I don't know how to emphasize that I am MORE than willing to play with any service submissive, but play is separate from the service. I.E. if you like spanking, caning, flogging, fire, electricity (violet wand only for now, though I have a tens unit on my wishlist), needles, cutting, bondage (leather, rope, handcuffs, armbinder), mummification...I can do that. I LOVE to do that. But I'm not going to do it while you are washing my dishes or helping me sort and fold laundry.

I want a service submissive to HELP me with most things. I have a hard time staying focused, especially on housework, when I am home alone. A sub keeping me company and keeping me on task helps out almost more than any work he may do while here. Having someone to talk to while I wash dishes is a huge benefit to me. So I won't just sit here while you do my housework - I'll be working too!! But I do need the help.

I attend parties to play. It gives me a chance to set myself up mentally and prepare for playing. I do not do well with trying to play in my home because I have too many distractions at home. I am not unwilling to play at home, but I do prefer to play at parties. But having said that, I LOVE to play. And I don't care if it's a newbie "this is what this toy feels like" experimentation/learning scene or a no holds barred OMG intense ready to pass out when we are done scene, I like it all and everything in between.

Just cuz I won't let you fuck me doesn't mean I won't hurt you darlins!!


4/25/2007 7:32:05 PM
I want to hurt someone. I want a heavy bottom that I can really fucking lay into with a cane, who can take my pain and feed it back to me, and love me for it. I have a very good friend, one of my best friends, that I play with who wants me to play with her, and I am happy to do so. But I know I can't leave the welts, bruises and OMG damage on her that I am craving to give someone.

I am trying to divorce myself from emotional pain and it isn't working. I want to hurt someone, I want someone to accept my blackened depths and love me regardless, love me for being me, love me for my blackness.


4/22/2007 5:59:32 PM

NO relocation. NO NO NO. HARD LIMIT!! Don't call me Mistress or Goddess. I'm NOT a female supremacist.

I've decided to start putting that at the beginning of every journal entry. I'll take it off when I write a new entry. I want it always to be at the top.

Having said that, my AWOL rubber duckie has been located. My purple travel Rub My Duckie had disappeared when I moved into the new apartment, and I thought he took a death plunge into the bathroom trash can and was unknowingly taken out. Turns out he was just taking a vacation in another box of stuff. I located him yesterday.


Now I just need all the new colors and the mini bondage duckie.

4/15/2007 8:28:41 AM
Doesn't anyone want to go to the Strawberry Festival?

I'm feeling whiny and bitchy because I really love country fairs, the Strawberry fest only comes once a year, and I want a bottle of Strawberry wine. I want to wander around in the sun eating cotton candy, ice cream, and popcorn. I want to watch entertainment, laugh and giggle, ride rides, and have a good time.

And here I am, with no vehicle, no way to get there, and everyone I know is either busy or doesn't want to go.

Weekends like this suck. Pardon my whiny attitude.

3/18/2007 4:48:38 AM
BDSM life is making me rather happy right now. I met a couple that wants to train/mentor under me, and I am looking forward to working with them. I had an absolute blast at our first meeting, and they got on well with M so I imagine that vanilla hanging out will be fun too.

An old friend recently came back into my life more actively, and he and I have begun playing. Mostly I'm doing "this is what this feels like" kind of play for the moment, but once he knows more of my personal techniques and preferences, I'm sure our play sessions will heat up. As it is, playing regularly is making me a much happier Domina, and satisfying that sadistic drive that was hitting so heavily back in Jan. And as a person he touches my heart deeply, and is so very giving. Thank you precious!

Even better, above mentioned friend went with me to meet a potential houseboy and the interview went GREAT. My last houseboy was very reticent, but this one is outgoing and friendly. I had WAY fun out with him and can't wait for his training to start.

And finally, M and I went to a party last night. I was dressed up and felt exquisitely sexy, and saw a BUNCH of old friends, some that I hadn't seen in months, some I hadn't seen in YEARS!!!! I didn't top anyone but I really enjoyed myself and enjoyed making it out.

May the rest of the year continue to be more and more rewarding in kink!!

3/3/2007 6:58:53 PM
I was thinking how amusing it is when questions and assumptions are dead wrong, and people stick their feet in their mouths because of their assumptions.

A specific for instance, someone asked me "Are you married?" My answer was "Irrelevant" or some such. He then assumed that for me to answer that way meant that I was, of course, married, and proceeded to ask further questions based on that assumption. Whereas the truth is that a) I am not married, I am actually divorced, and b) whether I am married or not is completely irrelevant to the conversation we were having, or to him at all. Complete strangers who contact me on the internet deserve to get the answer of "none of your business" when they ask personal questions, but I do attempt to be slightly more tactful in my answers. Net result: I blocked him and won't waste my time with him anymore.

More recently, I was told that I should go to Las Vegas. I ~despise~ being told what I ~SHOULD~ do by a) strangers b) submissives who ~say~ they want to submit to me. So I responded that they only way it would happen was if airfare, lodging, and recompense for lost work time were paid for both myself and a companion. He asked if my companion would be male, and I stated that the gender of my companion wouldn't matter. His response? Men who don't pay their own way are losers. And he blocked me. I can only laugh, as HE was the one telling ME that ~I~ should come to ~HIM~. When I want to go to Vegas with someone, anyone, male or female, we will arrange our tickets and go visit. When I am told that I ~should~ go to Vegas, then the person saying I should do it will be expected to pay for the cost...and since I don't meet ANYONE from online without a good friend in my company, the cost includes that of my companion. Sometimes, it's my partner (male), sometimes a good friend (male or female), but the gender of the companion is irrelevant. It is the nature of the demand that is unacceptable.


2/28/2007 3:08:00 PM
SPLF ended up not happening, to my dismay, but I did use the money for my ticket to purchase 4 new silicone toys that I am loving to death. Two new dildos and two new butt plugs, and I can't wait to find someone to use them on!

BDSM life has taken a turn in the positive direction. I am meeting a few that I have been writing to for a while, with the hopes that the relationship will be a good one. A long term friend is coming to be a play partner as well, and visiting his house included time with kids as well as lolling on the floor with pups, something I've missed a great deal. Our first play session at fetish night at a local bar was fabulous, and I'm looking forward to our next.

I've met two different women that I have enjoyed talking to and doing online role play with. Though it doesn't even come close to having a girlfriend I can cuddle with, shop with, and play with in person, it fills some of that need to have another woman in my life.

Add to that the chance to do a fireplay demo this Saturday (whether it goes through or not is up in the air right now, but I'm hoping to end up doing the demo, and maybe playing some after) and life has certainly taken a turn for the better.

Thank you to any who sent me Valentine's gifts, as I love feeling spoiled and getting new shoes, the red hot cinnamon room scent thing, and the cat fountain (my cats now have a running water fountain, gods they are spoiled!) left me all warm and fuzzy.


2/16/2007 6:06:09 AM
After a fabulous Valentine's gift from M, my partner, I was drowsily going to sleep when my favorite foot boy from Houston called.

"Happy Valentine's Day! As soon as I get home I'm buying your ticket to South Plains Leather Fest!"

So, I am officially going. Whether M will go or not remains to be seen, and I have yet to work out travel details. I imagine we will not do much on Friday unless I take half a day off of work (viable, for certain) but all day Saturday and Sunday morning I intend to enjoy things. Unfortunately, unlike the events I've attended in Austin, they charge separately for event tickets and for parties and such. I'll have to do some budgeting. It might cut into the savings I've put away but I really would like to go to this this year, as I've wanted to for many years and haven't been able to manage.

I suppose I should find out what classes are happening so I can make plans to attend. Hooray!


1/22/2007 5:13:50 AM
I am making tentative plans for South Plains Leather Fest in the Dallas area. These are tentative due to financial considerations. If I can make it I will post here that I'm going. I am trying harder to make Shibaricon in Chicago Memorial Day weekend. That's part of why I might not do SPLF (hoping to get lower airfares and registration costs by paying for it ASAP means paying for it at basically the same times as paying for SPLF). Again, if/when plans finalize, I'll post it here. BDSM conventions are a great place to meet other people and sometimes to play for a first time, not to mention shop with the vendors and learn learn learn. ~Ms. Elorin

1/22/2007 5:00:58 AM
I made it to a lovely play party this weekend, part of a New Year's resolution to go out and play at least once a month. Well, I didn't get to Top anyone - I was feeling extremely sadistic and the two people I knew I was almost guaranteed to play with are not heavy masochists. I did however, buy a neat cream colored shirt at Goodwill on Thursday, which had halter style breast cups that went up to shoulder straps, some stretchy/elastic banding kind of cinching under the breasts, and hung to mid thigh. The fabric is shot with gold threads and makes me feel very "Diana/Artemis" ish. Never intented it to be a dress. I paired that with the black and red leather underbust corset I got for Christmas, accented with black fishnet hose and white heels with black trim (5", style name Mimi, my FAVORITE pumps), and a red headband. My outfit was complimented all night long, which made me laugh because I threw it together at the last minute and NEVER expected to wear that top as a DRESS, much less with a corset over it. Ok, I knew I might end up wearing it as a dress at some point, but figured it would be a Goddess/toga party type theme, Halloween dressup, not the first weekend I owned it. I reconnected with many old friends, met a few people I'd like to see again and get to know better, and flashed my duckies. ~grinning~ I have a "thing" for rubber duckies, and received a set of 3 which have contacts on the bottom. Touch the contacts (complete the circuit) and they flash multicolored lights. Do it quickly, they go through the cycle once, then stop. Keep the contact, the flashing lights continues. I tucked one into my cleavage, where he blinked constantly from sweat or just the skin completing the circuit, or where he was more demure (with a bit of the shirt fabric between he and me) when the lights bothered me. I also found the yellow duckie clips that I had bought in LA's Little Tokyo and clipped them to the neckline of the shirt. If anyone asked me about the duck I mentioned that "he flashes when he's turned on" and just grinned. I did get frustrated at some poor manners exhibited through the night but otherwise had a lovely time despite not playing. Hopefully I'll find another outlet before month end to meet that New Year's Resolution.

11/3/2006 5:25:44 AM
Halloween was a blast. The weekend before was a party up at the ranch. Dressed as a wench with my partner in crime as a pirate, his costume was much better than mine, and the sights were delicious. Kinky costumes are so much fun!! I wrapped my best bottom in saran wrap and then covered it in red duct tape for a sexy lil mini dress for her costume, and watched her throughout the rest of the night tearing, ripping, and slowly removing it so that her immobilization was removed and she could sit, lean over, and bend like normal. There were some hot scenes, but I didn't stay to watch many of them. I did sort of play "guardian" to a sweet sub I know, when the witch hunting crew got a little out of hand during her confession scene. (Once the witch confesses, you have to stop playing!!) The next morning we helped clean up and put away all of the amazing Halloween decorations that were used to convert the house into a den of creepy iniquity. And I got to work with the horses. It was pony day at the ranch but I didn't actually work with the human ponies much. I was a bit more occupied with the four mares in the barn, feeding them apples and hay, currying them, and helping to ~attempt to~ socialize the yearling to human contact. But one of my favoritest ponygirls gave the partner and I a cart ride ~whee~, I got some pictures of sexy pony play, and snapped some photos of another favorite's new pony gear. I came home exhausted but delighted with a day of horse loving. For the actual day of Halloween I dressed as a gypsy and brought all of my Great PretendEars to work and convinced most of the co-workers to wear them in the spirit of the day.

10/21/2006 10:45:27 AM
Texas is a BIG state. If you are from the northwest, this isn't that big a deal. They have big states there, and moderately sized ones. So you look at a US map and can reasonably say "ok, yeah, that's a big state." Apparently, if you are from New England, you simply assume "if I'm going to be in the same state as you, I can see you during my visit." Damn this pisses me off. Pisses me off the most when I've spent a LOT of time writing back and forth with someone, and they finally reveal a week later that they are going to...say...Fort Worth. Dallas. Lubbock. El Paso. Houston. I live in SAN ANTONIO. We can all say it slowly, but it won't help. SAN ANTONIO is in a state that is bigger than FRANCE. If you go from El Paso on the west to Beaumont on the east, you'll be driving for 12 hours. From Laredo on the semi-south to Amarillo in the panhandle is an 11 hour drive. SAN ANTONIO is a ways south of dead center Texas. Houston is 3-5 hours depending on part of Houston and traffic. Dallas-Fort Worth is 4-6 hours, again depending on locale and traffic. Use some perspective if you are writing someone from out of state, and use MAPQUEST.

10/20/2006 5:53:15 PM
I've gotten the apartment partially pulled into shape, and it looks like this weekend I'll be doing more "pulling". Blue Man Group rocked, was absolutely phenomenal. Ani DiFranco was an outdoor concert, no seating, rain or shine venue, and it rained. Between my date's drunken friend and dreary rain (with wind) the experience sucked, although Ani was phenomenal as always. Three new albums to listen to and love.

9/15/2006 5:17:26 PM
All the boys have dried up. Since I had so much going on in August, I was apparently dumped for other more immediate prospects is all I can guess.

My moving is mostly over, though it will drag on for months I'm sure since I can't spend any major time at it without involving others, seeing as I no longer have a vehicle at my disposal.

Riding the bus has it's benefits. People watching is fun, and a chance to read for about 2 hours a day. I'm also walking, which is nice and healthy for me, especially since I otherwise get little to no exercise and I'm wanting to drop pounds. Only way to do that is consume fewer calories, burn more calories. Walking daily is therefore a plus.

Drawbacks are that it takes me about an hour to get to work, which is 40 minutes less of sleep in the mornings and 40 minutes less of time to myself and my unpacking and my cleaning and my net surfing and whathave you at night. I'm also not much of a talk to strangers person, but apparently have an invisible sign that says "talk to me" taped to the outside of my book, because it never fails that when I really want to read and mellow out, someone is talking to me on the bus or at the busstop.

What I really wish I could find is a woman. Thought there was someone with potential but no answer to e-mails or instant messengers so I guess not.

~Ms. Elorin

9/10/2006 1:03:13 PM
FAQ Question:
Why don't I get answers to my e-mails on collarme.com?
I can't answer for everyone, but I can answer for myself. I used to try to answer EVERY SINGLE e-mail that crossed my inbox. And then I realized that I was expending a huge amount of effort in response to people who OBVIOUSLY had expended NO EFFORT AT ALL when writing to me.
If you would like a response when writing to me, it is very simple to get one.
1) Do not refer to me as Mistress. That's in my profile, and it is NOT a difficult thing to do. There are plenty of other terms, including "Elorin" you can use to address me in a letter.
2) Use capitalization and punctuation. This is a written media, and I am not interested in writing to those who come across as either stupid or lazy. Complete sentences, dividing a letter up into paragraphs, and capitalization and punctuation are not a surefire way to get me to respond to you. But a lack of the above are an almost guaranteed trip to deletion.
3) If you want me to be your Domina, READ THE PROFILE. Then include SOME indication that you have read the profile when you write to me. Saying that I'm sexy or you liked my pictures is fine. There should be WAY more than that in a letter if you think you are going to serve me.
4) If you want me to be your Domina, be compatible with what I am looking for. How do you know if you are compatible? READ THE PROFILE. If you live in Michigan and start out with "I'm free for relocation" and you want me to be your Mistress, you are NOT compatible with me.
5) Show respect and be polite.
6) Introduce yourself with MORE than just age and physical attributes, and with LESS than a 3 page letter. "I'm 22 and in San Antonio for school. I'd like to chat with you." won't get a positive response from me (though it might get a highly sarcastic or negative one, depending on my mood). 3 or 4 pages of descriptions of who you are and what you want will not likely get a response either. Wait until you have confirmed interested before sending that much information. (ESPECIALLY if you are not compatible with the person per their profile.)

Finally, if you DO get a response, that is a positive sign. If you don't like it, don't write back. A nasty gram is likely to get you blocked and on a list of names that I share as individuals not to contact when other Dominas ask me about subs on collarme.com. Even if the response is negative, if you take it to heart and write a second letter that remedies whatever I criticized, I will highly likely continue to write. I expect submissives of mine to be intelligent and self empowered enough to recognize when someone points out a fault, and correct it. Having the self esteem to say "gee, she's right, maybe I should approach her differently" and then doing so will get not just a response from me, but a great deal of respect fom me also.

Now, I realize. All of those who send the e-mails without reading the profile aren't going to read this either. But it sure makes me feel better to write it.

~Ms. Elorin

7/31/2006 7:52:16 PM
My collared boy has been released. I have known him since Feb 2002 (possibly longer than that) and he was mine since April 2003. He was collared Spring Break of 2005, so he was my collared boy for something like 16 months, I guess. It was not an ugly breakup, merely a recognition of problems that he doesn't want to resolve; changes of personality he doesn't intend to undertake; and incompatibilities in personality. Man this hurts.

7/6/2006 9:22:53 PM
I'm finally moved. Despite the ex-houseboy sending an e-mail that APPEARED sincere, accepting his desire to be back in service, and then his offer to help move, and him backing out on me but not having the balls to even call and tell me he wouldn't be there to help...despite every other insane bump in the road, my shit is moved from the old house to the new house and I am slowly unpacking and getting furniture in place. Tonight I finally got back online. Though I WAS able to get Yahoo mail and periodically check my road runner account, I still had tons to catch up with and try to read and respond to. And of course, along with everything else, the normal slew of e-mails on collarme. Some didn't read my profile, or ignored limits that I set or things I said I didn't want. Some seem promising, and will no doubt bomb out in the next few days of communication. Maybe 1 or 2 will end up e-mailing more than twice. And I will be noted in their minds as an arctic bitch, as always, because when I wrote "not looking for a live in" in my profile, I meant it, and when I said "I don't play privately" I meant it. Damn, I hate those bitches who say what they mean right up front, don't you?

5/28/2006 3:54:04 PM
I love going to Renn faire. Wandering through Scarborough Faire this weekend I came across more kinky people. In an experience oddly akin to my first faire, I found kinky men hidden under the delightful shade of a chainmail vendor. A beautifully made BDSM logo, out of chain mail, colored, just gorgeous, led to interesting conversations, and I snagged a business card. I'm thinking one of the chain mail floggers, or a pair, could find a home in my toybox. Might even be worth it if I had some regular play partners!

4/5/2006 5:06:51 PM
Please do not wait to see if I log into collarme.com and then send me messages. A very good and trusted friend has my login information, and checks my messages when I ask. It's not always me, and messages like "Hi! How are you today?" on Yahoo when I wasn't even online are irksome. If you can see me on Yahoo, message me. If you can't, and you need to tell me something, send e-mail through collarme. ~E

3/30/2006 12:02:59 PM
Once upon a time, a male dom contacted me, telling me how hot he was. The he had a female dom contact me, telling me how he lists himself as a dom, but she has him travel all over and serve women, sucking their feet, etc, and would I let him serve me too. I said no. She put him in touch with me (again) saying he had a crush on me. I've never really approved of those who list as Dom but hunt out other Dommes to control them, instead of simply admitting to the simple (and thoroughly reasonable) inclination to switch. He contacted me repeatedly. He was condescending. He only ever referred to me as a sexual object. I was polite, but never encouraged him. I wasn't interested. Last night, he apparently saw me online and wrote to me again. From all I can gather, he wanted me to direct him on webcam. He hadn't read my profile, and he hasn't ever treated me with respect, so I'm not surprised. He started his correspondence with "You always struck me as too classy for CBT" and then said how much he respected me and wanted to learn from me. He apologized, and when I said I MIGHT teach him, he said he wanted someone to direct him on cam. My profile is clear, yet he didn't bother to read it. A few of my e-mails were quite direct. He didn't bother to read them. Or at least pay attention. When I said that he'd have to pay for it, he said I was asking for a hand out. A hand out. That amuses me. I didn't contact him. I didn't say "hey, I'm poor, give me money in exchange for nothing." This man has been contacting me for well over a year because he thinks I'm attractive and he wants to be sexually dominated, even though I don't do sexual domination. He wants to treat me like a phone sex chick, give him some sexual thrill with nothing in return. I'm not attracted to him in the slightest. And when I told him all of the above? He sent a snotty e-mail and blocked me. How exceedingly mature. Well to the Pennsylvania "Adventure Boy" who thinks that being in Dallas means he'll get to meet someone in San Antonio for drinks (and maybe more): I am a professional dominatrix with 5 years of experience. I do not practice BDSM online. I'm sure you'd allow just anyone to tie you up, light you on fire, pierce you, suspend you, cut you, spank you, flog you, and whip you. I wouldn't. ~shrugs~ I only go to those who have proven that they have the skill, training, and technique for me to be safe. If you want to play with the girls who sit on computers and beg for handouts, they are out there. On the other hand, YOU came to ME. From the very first, you came to me. I have never encouraged you. YOU are pathetic. And I don't make use of a single one of your tax dollars, I support myself completely, thank you. ~Ms. Elorin

1/31/2006 8:54:48 PM
Someone writes to me: Are you the Elorin that is on Niteflirt/Keen? If so, you got very angry with me. Erm. Lovely introduction, hmm? Yes, I say. And please enlighten me as to why I should care? He writes back something about being obsessed with me since he called over a year ago. I'm not sure who the client name is on the other site, but hey, I'm not here looking for clients. If I pick some up, great, but I prefer to keep my personal search for a houseboy and girlfriend separate from writings from my clientele. So I tell him I'm not here to be hassled with clients, either call on the other site or leave me alone. Read the profile. His response is that writing something nice isn't hassling someone, and I have an interesting way of getting clients. (And then he blocks me so I can't respond to his e-mail.) Ok bozo, here's your clue. I'M NOT HERE LOOKING FOR CLIENTS. Got it? Almost everyone who works full time HATES to have someone, in their off time, asking them to do their job for free, or asking them about their job. Dominatrixes often have clients who can't draw the line between professional relationship and friendship. YOU WROTE TO ME, not the other way around. Read the profile. If you aren't local, professional relationship only. That includes don't send me chatty little e-mails with no reference to an intent to have a professional relationship. I HAVE friends. I HAVE a business site where I advertise. I'm HERE looking for a houseboy and maybe a girlfriend. Not to stroke your ego because you are on the same kink site as a professional. Oh, and yes, I really AM a bitch. Duh.

1/30/2006 12:26:14 PM
Still no cat but good news: I'm in a book! If you are interested in purchasing a book with a photo of me in it, please message me and I'll give you information on how to get ahold of one. I'm very excited that one of my photos is in a published book. Much more exciting than when I started getting put on websites. I can't wait to order my own copy and get it on my coffee table.

1/23/2006 5:48:33 PM
My cat's gone missing, my old houseboy is begging to be mine again, I'm exhausted and burned out on the entire kink search. I think I'm giving up for a while.

1/16/2006 9:31:02 AM

Steps to becoming Mine:

1. A sincere e-mail that shows you have read my profile and hopefully my journal entries here at collarme.com, that indicates your level of experience, your expectations, and your understanding of my limits and what I am offering.  (i.e. you either live in San Antonio, or are asking for a professional relationship, you aren't asking to lick my pussy, and you have demonstrated yourself to be intelligent and not desperate, competent and not pathetic)

2. A few conversations on Yahoo messenger. Not just hi, how are you, I'm fine, got to go, bye. Actual conversations that may discuss BDSM but will also cover sharing about your life and learning about mine.

3. A meeting. I will bring a friend. Mild conversation, maybe some drinks. Just hanging out and meeting. No gift is necessary, nor is obvious flattery. That doesn't mean it isn't welcome. ~teasing winks~ Extravagant gifts or flattery (something that costs over $50 bucks, professions of a desire to worship someone you don't know, etc) will lose you points. Interest in my life and an ability to share about yours will gain you points. Feel free to have a beer. Having 3 or 4 in an one hour meet up isn't a smart idea. If my friend gets the heebie jeebies, we will repeat step 3 until the heebie jeebies go away, or until I give up. The friend is there to provide a second opinion so I don't rush into things or use bad judgement.

4. A second meeting. It will be along the lines of an interview. I will bring my roommate. Even if I'm 100% interested, he has veto power. He lives in my home too and I will not bring someone to my home that he does not approve. We will discuss possible scheduling, expectations of service, maybe some likes and dislikes about play.

5. A trial service session. In my home. My roommate will be there. Probably an hour or two. Simple tasks. Wash a few dishes. Vacuum. Fold a few clothes. I would be looking to see how well you respond to direction, if you can remember a number of tasks given at once, how you behave in my home and in response to me and my roommate, and how you accomplish the tasks given.

6. A trial period. 3-5 sessions of service, an hour or two each session. Over the course of 2-3 weeks.  I would be looking to see how well you remember what you have been told in the past - for instance, if I teach you how to fold my towels, how well you recall how to fold them the next time - how well you get along with me and my quirks, and whether you have expectations that you try to impose on our relationship despite my expressed preferences, etc. (For instance, if I tell you not to kneel every time I come into a room, and you do it anyway, I will not be considering you for as much.)

7. If you make it this far, you will be considered to be in service to me. You will be serving me.  I will consider you to be someone who looks to me, who is in training. Over the course of the next few months, I will expect you to be learning things. I shouldn't have to tell you, after you've done it 3 or 4 times, where the glasses get put away, how to fold my towels, or how to use the dryer. I shouldn't have to tell you to bring the trash can up if it's at the curb, after the first time. This will be a time of training and learning. You will learn how I like to be addressed, service that I enjoy and things I dislike, and tasks that can be completed without direction if I am occupied when you finish a certain task. During this period you will wear a collar while in my home, taken from a box of many collars that I keep with my toys and equipment.

8. If you get through a training period (anywhere from 2 - 6 months, depending on how often you serve, how quickly you learn, and how impressed I am with your skills) then you will be claimed. At this point, you will be Mine. You will be considered to be my submissive. We will choose a collar, together, for you to wear when you are in service. You will not be "collared" - that is something I consider to be a long term, full time comittment. However, you will be my submissive, and belong to me, and be able to choose a special title which you use to address me. You will be allowed to tell people that I am your Domme, Domina, or Mistress, as you choose, and indicate on any profiles that you are mine.

1/16/2006 8:24:51 AM
My home is back to being my home again, and I don't think I will be welcoming anyone into it again for a long time in the future. I'm about burned out on looking for women, too, after my last few experiences.

I'm trying to refocus for the New Year, and hopefully at least one of the promising applicants for the houseboy/housegirl position will prove viable.

The new year has NOT been promising, it has in fact been worse than the January of 2005. The past few months haven't been good to me, and I'm crossing my fingers for something to change. I'll be lighting candles and saying a little prayer in each room of the house once the last of others' property are gone - both of the women I've tried to help in the past few months - and seeking some cleansing and purity.

1/4/2006 8:56:36 AM
I do NOT intend to make a practice of moving submissives, particularly into my home. I hate moving...so someone explain to my why I've done it so much in the past few months, KNOWING that I will be moving out of this house again in the summer (well, ok maybe...depending on if they raise the rent or not).

At least this time it isn't a complete stranger, there is a plan for moving back out again soon rather than staying here, and I know a lot more about the person's work ethic, impulsiveness, and know the person better period. And this person is family before having moved in...so it won't end as horribly.

Not to mention having another warm body in bed again is nice.

1/1/2006 10:50:04 AM
Happy New Year! The play party last night was fabulous, I was able to play, to drink, to know when I'd had too much to play safely, to be around great friends, to get tickled tortured on the floor under a pool table.

It was awesome. Here's to good friends, great kink, and small parties that are so much fun!

12/27/2005 6:23:28 AM
Well, extending help for someone who seemed down on their luck turns out to have been a bad idea. Not knowing the sub in question well enough, she increasingly distanced herself from any sort of participation in our household, found another "Dom" (Gorean this time?) and started spending all of her free time with him, complaining all the while that we were not including her in our household plans and outings.

She showed up Christmas Eve after being gone for 4 days with no phone calls or notice, to say she was moving out. She owes us money for bills, as well as the moving expenses which she stated she would be paying back. It would be nice to think we'd get paid back, but as it is, it seems to be enough to have learned the lesson that generosity is not it's own reward, in fact it is just putting yourself out there to be thanked with irresponsibility and ingratitude.

Due to any number of things including a refusal to communicate with us as roommates, either via e-mail, IM, phone, or in person, I suspect most of the "problems" we were trying to help with were self caused. I hope she finds someone with the patience, maturity, and emotional investment to help her grow and change and see her life from a different perspective. Perhaps at that time, a sincere apology and acceptance of responsibility for much of what happened with us will come. Until then, I have too much going on in my life in general to have tried to adopt and raise another person.

11/22/2005 5:53:10 AM
Happiness is a house full of subbies.

The houseboy has most of the week off, so long days with his help and I expect to have the surfaces in my bedroom cleared off by Thanksgiving. Something to be thankful for.

My collared boy came up from Houston yesterday and is staying until next Tuesday. Hurray! 8 days of service and reconnecting the pieces that disconnected between he and I.

Hope to get little miss down at some point for the weekend but she has family things to do so am not sure if she can. Maybe I can drive up with the collared boy tomorrow and do lunch with her? We'll see.

Feeling sadistic and smug and essentially just a happy little clam.

11/8/2005 2:12:37 PM
After a rocky weekend, the houseboy finally explained what he had been trying to say, which was NOT that he gave up, but rather his concern about my weeklong irritation. I got to explain the joys of bipolar to him, and we finally came to understanding.

Since it was my misunderstanding that caused the rift, and then him not explaining himself, there are new rules implemented to make sure he understands orders, shares his thoughts with me, and gets a chance to communicate before I jump to conclusions.

We went shopping for a collar today that he can wear, as the one he has been wearing is a bit awkward. Didn't find one we liked, but he got me an i plug...and I can't wait to use it. We'll hit some more stores tomorrow and see if anyplace in town has a style he likes.

11/4/2005 11:19:02 AM
The houseboy gave up. I was just starting to settle into our relationship and feel comfortable about it, and tomorrow would be our first play party together.

He did something over the weekend and got punished, and then over the course of this week he twice didn't listen to what he was told. I think subs should listen, and obey, and if they don't understand in the first place, they should ask questions at the beginning.

When I lost my temper after the most recent non-listening (more like, he heard but didn't care and just did what HE thought was right for a sub, rather than what his Mistress had TOLD him to do), I said get out. Get out, leave the collar on the bookshelf. Get out.

This morning I was calm, and I spoke to him about making sure he knew what he did wrong, and what his punishments were. He was fine.

20 minutes later he messages and says he wants out. Fine, I let him out, then he keeps messaging. Then for some reason only he can logic out, he begs me to collar him?

Ok, as if.

I will not chase after a submissive. I will not have a sub say "I want out" and then beg them to stay. If they want to talk, that's cool, but I'm not going to beg them to stick around if they don't want to be a part of this. I'm SURE as hell not going to collar someone I've known for a few months, after having made it clear to him when he met me that collaring comes after a few YEARS. In particular, you'd have to be on drugs to think that you can tell me you don't want to be a part of this and THEN have me collar you.

Now I"m getting tearful "I don't want out" and "I love you" and "I want to serve you" messages.

Well maybe you should have thought of that before you said you didn't want to be a part of this.

10/30/2005 6:24:11 PM
Life is GOOD. I just got home from an absolutely fabulous party. I got to:

Fuck a hot girl with my spiked strapon harness.
Do evil things to said hot girl with a vibrator.
Light up two different sexy women with violet wands.
Co-dom on devil's fire on a hot chick.
Fist someone (YUMMMMM!).
Ride a ponyboy (multiple times).

Among other entertaining delights, sights, and sadistic joys.

YAY play parties. I can't wait for Christmas...(hell I can't wait for next Saturday).

~smugly yours~
~Ms. E

10/11/2005 2:30:01 PM
Dear boys, and girls, and Boys and Girls too (and bois and grrls and really all of you out there)
Yes, one word e-mails REALLY do get deleted with no response. Honest. Sending them doesn't impress me, make you look cute, witty, or anything. "Testing" me just lets me prove that I was telling the truth. You are more likely to get blocked for that cute stunt, honestly.

Come on, you can say more than just "hi" can't you?

10/8/2005 2:23:08 PM
I'm not sure why someone would write to me to criticize my profile, but it happened today. I don't mind the criticism, but it wasn't constructive, just some bizarre off the wall "you are contradictive, harsh, unapproachable and I don't even know what to call you" with no redeeming qualities other than to compliment my photos. Wow. Even better than the shallow who see no further than looks, this one was shallow AND critical. Gee thanks. My response that "if you find me too harsh I may not be the gal for you" didn't assume she was looking, just a comment on compatibility. Obviously, she found me harsh, and obviously, others either don't find me harsh or they don't mind it. Why write someone about that if you aren't interested and looking? I'm baffled. Ah well, she won. She sent a second e-mail, this time defensive for no reason (maybe she's projecting?) with assumptions and accusations galore, and then blocked me so she couldn't see my response. I guess I can thank her for saving me the trouble. I guess I just want to say, if you find someone's profile confusing, that's cool. If you are interested, write for clarification. But if you don't even care, don't waste your time or theirs to pick them apart without examples of your critical words (where the contradictions are, what you find unapproachable, why you can't figure out what to call them and HOW that is relevant to their profile and not your lack of imagination, what is so harsh). And really, if you weren't looking and weren't interested in the first place, is it THAT satisfying to be nasty for no reason at all? I hope you lifted yourself up a peg or two while trying to take me down. Sorry you found me so threatening. ~E

10/2/2005 5:56:42 PM
From one little e-mail can come the brightest of things. I have a new roommate. After WolfWere and I bought a plane ticket to evacuate sub from the north Houston area from impending hurricane Rita, she and I got to know one another. When she returned home and the mold and other incipient gunk in her apartment made her sick within 24 hours, an executive decision was made, and on Thursday Sept. 29th I drove to Houston and fetched her here to my home. Sometimes short notice is best. In this situation, I have found a friend, helped a stranger, and brought some peace to my soul. Companion, roommate, female acquaintance. Someone younger than I, not just in years, but someone with so much less cynicism than I had at her age. I want to help her believe again. I want to help her heal. While having her as girlfriend or submissive are potentialities that I won't deny exploring, my first priority is the things that haunt her. The constant searching for "why would someone do this for me?" and the lack of belief in herself. We will heal her self esteem first, her belief in humanity (while leaving a dose of skepticism for safety), her ability to love and trust. She has brought such joy and laughter in one short week and a few days. And with it hope and love and purpose. welcome home toots. We love you.

9/24/2005 3:02:13 PM
Being good IS worth it. About a month or so back I read a profile and it spoke to me. Someone broke up and no one respected her grieving period. She raged against the "vultures" who could think of nothing more than the fact that she was available. I wrote to her, with kind words. After exchanging a few e-mails, she asked if I would consider being her protector - screening those who contacted her as potential Doms. I agreed. Collarme e-mails segued into yahoo messages, and then Rita comes along. I gave her my phone number to make sure she was safe. She called in a panic when her evacuation plan partner left her high and dry with no options to get out. With a bit of determination, cash, and help from friends, we flew her out of her evacuating down, away from the pending hurricane, into San Antonio. I now have a lovely friend, awesome companion, sexy houseguest, until they let people return home. And to think, it all came from a nice e-mail written to say...someone cares, someone understands, you are not alone.

8/25/2005 2:53:48 PM
Who knows me? Sometimes I truly wonder. Someone new to the community made some snide and cutting comments on more than one yahoo group, and I was very disgusted with her. Since no one else took the time to say anything, I did my best to politely correct her, letting her know that being snide to long time members of the group was not only disrespectful, but that it was likely to leave her on the outside looking in, as we (the BDSM community) aren't prone to welcoming those who shoot without looking first.

Small communities are often protective, and if a newcomer seems to bring strife and snide behavior, welcoming them in is less than beneficial. Every community has it's bad seeds. But if you don't show your good side first, it'll leave me wondering why bother to look for it?

Later on, I got an e-mail stating she wanted a truce, and that she had been wrong for how she handled something, and ever since we had been doing a "tit for tat" kind of back and forth. Unfortunately, we hadn't. Her confession that the sniping from her was malicious and petty didn't surprise me, but I wasn't looking out for her posts in particular and picking on her, I just happened to disagree with her on something and commented on it.

The biggest surprise was when she said "i'm willing to allow that you had stuff going on in your life when this happened and you handled it poorly" and I was floored. She doesn't know me, we have never met in person, and she is going to ALLOW me an excuse that isn't even true? I was amused, and told her that with stuff going on in my life or not, I'd have handled the original issues in much the same way, it's just who I am. Sometimes abrasive, blunt and to the point.

According to her, she had been talking to "those that know me" and stated that "funny, their observations don't agree with your self descrip."

I guess it all goes to show, who can really know you, and how well they know you.

6/26/2005 5:55:54 PM
The most flattering thing to receive in e-mail is an eloquent introduction that tells me more than how someone likes to be beaten, without going on for pages and pages. How you got involved in BDSM is sometimes a good start, and interests outside of BDSM are good as well. Some sort of acknowledgement that my profile was read is a delight.

I have found that I'm more likely to respond to the ones that say "I know you won't be interested in me because I live in another state..." almost from the beginning, because at least it means they read what I took the time to write.

Single sentence e-mails, e-mails with no capitalization or punctuation, e-mails that begin by calling me Mistress, all turn me off.

More than anything, though, I am frustrated by those who seem to expect that "I want to serve you" is all they need say, and I will immediately put forth hours and hours of effort to structure their day, with multiple kinky assignments, schedules, phone calls, long e-mails from me, and the only return effort on their part is "Yes Mistress".

It's a two way street, that's why there is a process called negotiation that we go through. If you want to serve me, think of what "service" means, and what you have to offer in return for all the effort I put forth in establishing a control structure. If you just want me to tell you what to do, because that's what gets you off, tell me how you expect to pay for it in the first e-mail.

5/1/2005 4:53:16 PM
~entranced by the stunning way that Male Dominant's respect FemDoms~

From the sub whose profile now says he's Dominant (but I think wrote to me begging me to Top him and I said no thank you because he isn't local. I can't find the previous mail exchange with him though so I won't swear to it.)

if you want to bottome let me know, you look like you would be a nice screw...

In addition to his fabulous syntax, punctuation,  spelling, and grammar, I love the implication that bottoming equals screwing (it doesn't) and that looks determine who is a good fuck.

Thanks for sharing. Even more so for showing what an ass you are by blocking me so you couldn't get a response in return. Regardless, here it is.

"I do bottom...regularly.
And I'm a great fuck, but it's not because of my looks.

But I won't do either with you.

Lack of couth, respect, intelligence, or the ability to treat a woman like a person rather than a sex object knocked you out of the running long before anything else could have."

~edited to remove the sub's username, since the collarme authorities apparently found this not acceptable~

4/10/2005 7:31:28 PM

To SirHunter, Dom who said he was "at my disposal" and wanted to submit to me, and when I said "You are a Dom. I'm not interested. " wrote back and said "Everyone in the San Antonio scene knows I'm a switch, ask anyone, in particular X and Y."

My e-mail response was honest. I asked honest questions. You didn't answer. Well here they are.
A) If you are a switch, why do you list as a Dom?
B) If you are a switch, why can't I read your profile to find out about it, why do I have to go find someone else to ask?
C) Why would I want to go hunt references on someone whose profile basically means I am not interested?
D) I'm sure I can think of at least 20 people in the SA scene who have NO clue who you are
E) Houston is not convenient for a submissive, and I don't want just play partners anymore. I doubt you offer anything that would actually fill what I need.

And your response? Oh it was wonderful. It really motivated me to want to play with you, and inspired me that you truly were at my disposal and didn't just want to fuck me or have me beat you because I am attractive. (Oh, and blocking me? Even more non-submissive, more like passive aggressive.)
A) I made a huge error in writing to you as You obviously haven't a clue about the "scene" or the lifestyle
B), C), D), E) see A)

Well I get to write a response regardless (funny that) and I did. And I'm including it here, because I think it has some very valid points. Now if only Doms who write to me and say they want to submit would read it first, it might do some good.

No, you made a huge error in writing to me because you have a profile as a Dom and want to submit or bottom, and you thought somehow that I would be impressed by a Dom writing to me or something. I believe in honesty, that means to the submissives who might write to you, to admit to them that you switch, and to the Dommes you contact to do the same.

I have a great clue about the scene and the lifestyle. I know X and Y, and relatively well. I've been in and around this for a number of years, and I know what I like. I want someone who is upfront, whose profile indicates who they are directly, so that I can learn about them. I cannot learn about you, because you say you want to submit or bottom and your profile says nothing other than the fact that you want to dominate.

I simply have no desire to have a "Dom" submit to me. If you want to keep dominance and submission separate, two profiles would be good. Or a profile like I have at b.com that lists as a Domme but states within that I'm a switch, and why I list that way. Or ideally, a switch profile.

Or even an inclusion in the initial e-mail that says "I'm listed as a Dom because I'm not wanting Dom/mes to write to me, but I'm actually a switch."

Writing to a complete stranger to say I'm at your disposal is specious, and untrue. You don't know me, you have no idea in regards to my integrity, and you don't know if we are compatible. Writing, perhaps, to say "I'm listed as a Dom but interested in switching, you interest me, could we see if we are compatible?" would have gotten you much further than saying you are at my disposal. You aren't.

Perhaps the person with no clue, is you. And maybe it's not about the lifestyle, but just about me. I'm not calling you names, or impugning your experience, as you seem to find it necessary to do to me because I don't want to check references on a stranger who doesn't interest me, whose profile tells me nothing about what he apparently wants with me (submission/bottoming).

Now, honest answers to those questions might have gotten you further. The answer you gave simply means there is nothing further to go on.

Now obviously I found after I wrote this that he tossed out his analysis of my experience and knowledge of the lifestyle (apparently expecting openness and honesty and wanting to know why someone lists as a Dom when he writes to FemDoms and offers himself to them means I have no knowledge) and then blocked me like a petulant child. Regardless, my response to him is recorded. Good luck on your Domme search, Hunter.

3/1/2005 2:53:50 PM
Apparently I need to make something clear. I don't know why my profile is taking so long to be approved after minor changes, that's one of the frustrating things about this site. But I'll put it in the journal so if it happens again I am covered.

Yes, I am a pro domme, and yes, I do pro phone sessions. No, I'm not here at collarme.com looking for clients. If you want to do pro sesions with me, awesome. Be specific when you write me.  That's not why I'm here.

Also, in case you can't read my profile, this will help you. I don't want someone to "serve me orally." I don't want someone to relocate to me, I want to meet someone local. I'm not going to move.

Hopefully that clears some things up for y'all.

2/28/2005 3:04:42 PM
On writing to a Dominant Lady (specifically, me).

Try to give her something to say back. An e-mail that just says "wow" "you are sexy" "nice legs" does not motivate her to speak to you.

Try to share something of yourself. Make it something unique to you. "I love to please Dominant women" is not unique to you.

Realize that if you are writing to someone whose profile is not currently showing, you are reacting almost SOLELY on the basis of their looks.  That's not always the most flattering reflection on YOUR values. Women appreciate compliments but want to be wanted for more than their outer shell.

If you can see someone's journal, and not their profile, they probably made a recent change to their profile. Look at the dates on the journal, and don't say "welcome to Collarme.com" if they've been around for months and months.

If you can't see  a profile, but can see a journal...READ THE JOURNAL. It will teach you something about the Lady in question, and you can offer agreement, differing opinion, or some INFORMED, USEFUL comment that will inspire her to return your note.

Remember: If you write to me first, then it is YOUR job to get me to want to write back. If you write with one flat statement, it will likely be returned in the same vein. Don't get pissed at me for not slavering over you, when you offered a one word e-mail (and often, a blank profile) to me. I'm not going to ASK you to tell me about yourself. Offer it.

2/27/2005 10:57:29 AM
I'm writing this to slide the money slavery journal entry further down in the journal.

Note: When someone keeps a journal, just because they write a rant about ONE thing doesn't mean it's the only thing they are into. This journal has multiple entries FOR A REASON and they are all about things that affect my life.

Second note: If you are looking for a professional session with someone, to pay someone to beat you or have your kink met, you need to be very clear on this. You do NOT need to be looking for the "local lifestyle" and people to meet. You do NOT need to be writing to people asking them to put you in touch with locals who "do sessions."

Use the word professional, state that you are looking for professionals in the area and would appreciate help finding them. But honestly, if you want professionals, contacting lifestyle people on personals boards is NOT THE WAY TO DO IT. Check the Domina guides and look that way.

Most lifestylers are out of touch with the professionals in their area because the two scenes rarely overlap. You will do better to use the resources designed to help you find what you are looking for.

9/16/2004 3:02:21 PM
On money slavery.
Money slavery is almost always a fantasy. I am an adult, and a professional telephone dominatrix, and I am happy to work with someone's fantasy.

Unfortunately, most money slaves are not content to express their fantasy clearly as just that. Instead, they try to dupe a Mistress into believing that they are truly going to hand over their money.

I believe that some are exceedingly greedy, and this plays into that. However I think that most Dommes are more like me. What if I totally blow off the one guy who truly is a money slave? So we talk to the person without emotional investment, and sometimes our hopes are raised.

I think some supposed money slaves are actually interested in humiliating the Domme...controlling the one who is normally in control via her greed and interest. Some of them just want to jerk off to the fantasy of a woman with her hold around his real power, his finances.

Why are supposed money slaves so broke that they can't even do the real thing? I mean 20-50 bucks a week is as much money slavery as $5,000 but they won't tone down to get the actual enjoyment of sending money to a Mistress, instead they jerk her around and lie.

Lying is intolerable to me. The deceit and distrust formed by money slaves is distasteful and leaves me bitter and angry. It's horrible to have a mercenary "show me the color of your money first" attitude but that is how I have become when it comes to professional work, particularly those who call themselves money slaves.

I write this because I was contacted (did not solicit or put on my interests list) by someone on this site. Please e-mail for the handle. He suggested that he would give me the password to his Amazon.com account and he would purchase me gift cards. He then suggested an upper limit of $7,000.

This man is a fake. He did this then immediately cancelled the charge, and then proceeded to ignore e-mails for 3 days. 

Here is a copy of the final e-mail I sent to
"     What is the problem here? You got my e-mail 7 hours ago yet haven't responded? Honesty would be appropriate. Just tell me that you like to fantasize but don't like the reality. Just tell me that you have never actually done this and followed through with it.
    Tell the truth. You jerked me around, you got your fun. now I want the truth.

And a copy of his response
"hello Miss,
    You are right, i'm actually thrilled by the idea of women taking my money for themselves but don't have the kind of money to do this for real. I apologize to You for this, 

To all potential money slaves: admit that it is a fantasy and you might find out exactly how enjoyable a long term relationship with a compassionate woman can be.

To all women reading this: Please don't be taken in, and I hope you do not have the troubles with such time wasters as I have.

~Ms. Elorin

9/5/2004 5:45:12 PM
My boy asked yesterday what was I doing for the weekend and I said not much...and he drove up to hang with us. Am so delighted. Looking forward to some quiet time with him tonight, and play with possibly each of my men this evening.

Not only that but a possible local service sub came for breakfast and the two seem to work well together, and he doesn't seem disturbed by the way I run things. So I'm really looking forward to training the new one.

Still searching for a woman for my life though.

8/30/2004 4:54:08 PM
Another quiet day. I really should be doing laundry. Where is that service sub I've been desperately searching for who will make sure I don't get this behind on it? Recuperating from the cold. I can tell I'm on the recovery side of things. I was hungry today. I'm hungry now. I want ribs, so I think that's what we are having tonight. Mmmmmm...hot ribs dribbling with bbq sauce and the great whiskey river beans and...Yeah. I'm getting better. Time to start organizing the toys...so I can pack each bag intentionally, instead of "hoping it's in there" when I take a bag to a party.

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