She lied to me last night.

I can see how someone might be asking, "She lied to you, I thought you said things were excellent?" Indeed, it seems contradictory. However, it was only hours later that she quickly admitted her lie with no prompting from me. We talked about why she felt she had to lie, I explained why I felt she didn't have to lie, she understood and was relieved.

It's all about learning how much of our selves we can trust another person with. She lied, and I'm disappointed that she felt like she had to, but I'm so glad that she talked to me about it because I feel our trust for each other actually grew. She learned that she can come to me with things that she can't go to other people with.

In the mean time, I've found a new play friend. A few months ago I was introduced to a girl at a party by a friend who clued me into her kinky nature. So we struck up a conversation and exchanged phone numbers. We went on a few dates to get to know each other. She's an intelligent, passionate, and motivated person. But there isn't any real chemistry there. She and I will never be more than play partners. She needs to be beaten and I need someone to beat. ;)

I just have to be careful to not lead her on.

We're still feeling each other out and finding our limits, but so far what kinky play we have done is pretty nice! I'm looking forward to some fun scenes with her.

I have gotten more serious with this lovely girl. She isn't really submissive, per say. But she enjoys age play, and quite a few other kinks I really enjoy. We've had a lot of fun with cutting.

She introduced me into golden showers. To be honest, it didn't really excite me that much, but it wasn't repulsive... and just the novelty of pissing on someone was fairly entertaining.

We've started to get pretty emotionally involved. So until our relationship is stable and has a solid foundation, we're both emotionally monogamous.

It's a way of cementing the relationship. Although, both of us agree that sexual monogamy is out of the question. We're safe and responsible as far as STDs and birth control, but I enjoy hearing about her sexual exploits with others and she seems to enjoy hearing about mine.
It's nice to agree on that kind of thing. It can be hard to find in a person.

After all, sex is just a fun activity. Friction. It's like playing a game of cards with someone. It can mean anything, but the basic point is to enjoy your self.

So why not let my partner, whom I love, have all the happiness she can get? Jealousy in sexual matters seems irrational to me.

Though I can understand being jealous emotionally. It's something I've dealt with pretty well, but I have certainly felt it.

I find it usually comes from some insecurity of mine. Like if I think I could lose my partner to this other person, then I'm jealous.

But if I think that she can love me and someone else equally, that doesn't bother me at all, and I'm actually happy for her.

....Bah... I'm babbling.