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linkadink
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First and foremost, I'm a very real, well-grounded individual. I'm skeptical of the romantic visions of BDSM, and I would like to find something practical and sustainable - some achievable blend of fantasy and reality - but I've yet to find it. Much love to those of you I've talked to on here who seem to understand that point.
As it says up above, I'm a submissive, and to put it simply, I'm here seeking a dominant, maybe for something long-term, but I'm open to friends, roommates, neighbors, or whatever. I am mostly interested in people within a hundred miles of me, but I would consider relocating for the right person. In a perfect world, I'd like to find someone I connect with to have a firmly-grounded vanilla relationship, with a heavy heaping of D/s on the side. I would love to be in a 24/7 TPE type relationship (is that the kinky equivalent of marriage?) but I question how sustainable that is. I'm open to poly relationships - I think they can be very appealing in some circumstances, but I'm hesitant about them due to the whole "drama" factor.
I love aggressive dominants, though there's a very fine line between being aggressive and being bitchy or a jerk. I find intelligent and driven women who know what they want and go for it extremely attractive - I think this is because I see more long-term potential there. My attitudes towards men are a little different, because I think it's harder to form that sort of emotional attachment to them, so it becomes less about long-term appeal and more about their ability to compel me, I suppose. I find couples extremely attractive because it's sort of the best of both worlds.
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I did some housecleaning and updated some things on here. It's neat to see how I've grown in the past... seven years. Have I really been on this site that long?
That's disturbing in... so many ways! |
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I wonder, is there an agreed upon protocol around here? Should dom/mes contact subs, or is it on subs to contact dom/mes? Or is it all just a matter of personal preference? |
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I think it's fun to surf around the profiles here, but I've come to realize it's a horrible, soul crushing addiction on par with watching "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous," or anything on MTV. Paired off couples obscenely proclaim, "property of such-and-such" or "proud owner of this-person," and half of the single tops add "TRIBUTE REQUIRED!!!" tags to their profiles. What's a sub to do?
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I came home from work today to find that my bathroom floor was extremely sticky. This alarms me in so many ways.
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I've been giving a lot of thought to the idea of financial slavery lately. I'm not talking about "human ATM's" or "being generous" or something like that. (If giving your money to someone because they tell you to turns you on, more power to you, but short of a long-term, 24/7, TPE exchange... it's not for me.) What I'm talking about is more like budget-oversight, consistant with an idea of owning a person, so to speak. "You're not allowed to buy that," rather than "buy me this." I actually find the idea immensely appealing, because it seems like it would be giving up control of a very central tenet to our modern day life. For normal people in the U.S., so much of who and what we are revolves around money and our capitalistic freedom to do what we want with it, so giving that up strikes me as extremely powerful and beyond the typical BDSM scope. Anyone out there have much experience with this sort of idea?
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A little bit more about me, and what I'm looking for.
I really believe that surprises come at every turn, so I would never rule anyone out at first glance, but in terms of general guidelines:
I think my ideal match would be someone around my age (30-40, maybe?), established, and within a hundred miles of me. I really like confident and intelligent people, and I really dislike bitchy women and cocky guys. If you come across as a bully or overly agressive (even if it's just a show to keep the casual folk away) I'm probably not going to be too interested. I'd like to find someone with some social graces and ability, and I don't get that feeling from overly-pushy people. I have a pretty strong aversion to people with children and people in relationships that are looking for discreet play, also.
I'm highly conflicted about the age issue. Older dominants are much more appealing in a BDSM sense, but I have a hard time reconciling a big age gap outside of the BDSM scene.
In terms of relationships in general, I'm very monogamous-minded. When it comes to BDSM, I'm very interested in poly relationships. More specifically, I'm very curious about tops that are submissive to someone else, and tops that have multiple subs. Does that make me poly? I don't think it does. What do you think? |
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Been out of town lately, so I'll be trying to catch up on some emails this week.
A note on relocation, since it's come up:
Am I willing to relocate? Absolutely. Am I looking to relocate? Not really.
I'd prefer something nearby, but I'd be willing to travel or relocate under the right circumstances. Those circumstances would have to involve a lot of slow development of trust and familiariaty online, though.
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I'm going to try and use this journal to explain who, or what, I am. The way I'm feeling, and my general outlook on the world. I think, in essence, that's my 'profile,' so if you want to get to know me, read through this thing. I'll try and update it as I can and need to. Promise!
Now, in my profile, I spend about five words explaining what I am, and then a whole lot more explaining what I'm not. This is the opposite of the way it should be, but the internet is a dark and creepy place full of people that make me unhappy, so it had to be done that way.
Now, on with a more in-depth explanation of what I am:
I've been 'submissive' for pretty much as long as I can remember. I think the term 'submissive' has different meanings for everyone, tops and bottoms alike, but to me, in the simplest terms, that means I like to make people happy. Not everyone. Not most people. Probably not even you. Just the people that I like, and who compliment me in that regard.
I'm not really into S&M, I think bondage is kind of boring in and of itself, and if I was just looking for sex it would probably be easier to look up one of the many pro-Dommes and/or escorts out there.
It's not about any of that, really. Those things interest me, sure, but ultimately they're just manifestations of my submissive nature. Does that explain it? Probably not. I'll think about it more, and try to explain why I feel the way I do, as well. It's certainly not because of my genial nature.
By the way, if you think mean, greedy or bitchy equates to being dominant or craven, lustful and desperate is the same as being submissive: Screw you. Leave me alone. We'll both be happier that way, and I won't have to fill your mailbox with verbal acid. Otherwise, feel free to drop me a note and say hi!
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