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Firstly I am an intelligent, educated, articulate and successful person who is here because the vanilla world just hasn't worked for him.
As a Dominant I have realised that yes I was born this way, but we all have to start somewhere, learning is the most important skill for a Dominant without it we fail to be a "Good" Dominant. I have been learning how to be a Good Dominant for several years.
As a good Dom, the Dominant should be in control of himself first and foremost, he should be confident, caring, and understanding. He should not allow ego to get in the way of learning, both about himself and his submissive, he knows how to love, And how to cherish the gift given to him.
When the Dominant meets a new submissive He is kind and guiding without demanding ritual of Her, He does not demand respect, he earns it, He explores her mind first, learning her strengths, He does not seek to seduce her , but gets to know her as a person first, building a relationship, slowly discovering if there is to be one.
If he is a good Dominant he does not do this to gain another submissive, but only because he is able to befriend someone, without the trappings of sexuality, He is not a predator, but a teacher, willing to pass his knowledge with little or no reward, but the pleasure of knowing he can, and the satisfaction of helping someone define their own path.
If He decides to take the submissive into service, he is the first to mention negotiation, to offer his own personal information , He realizes the danger she could be placed in the wrong hands, and seeks to Guide her in protecting herself, He does not dismiss her worries, for he knows her risks are all to real.
He knows his safety also depends on Honesty, on communication, He is at first only as protective of himself he needs to need be, but open and Honest about his life, tastes, what he expects, he knows that she will be taking a leap of faith, and is supportive of her.
To possess her he Knows he must first earns her respect, to do this He must prove he is what he says he is, that he cares for her, that he would push her limits only to build her strengths, that he is willing to spend the time to learn her as a Person first, then as a submissive , He knows how wonderful this gift is that she offers, and is willing to live up to her trust in him.
Is there a perfect Dominant? I think not, perfection is something we all strive to obtain however, and I have been doing that for the past several years. It is the struggle to find perfection that makes a good Dominant. There is no one deion of a good Dominant; just as beauty is in the eye of the beholder, no viewpoint is wrong, merely different. All that can be said is that a Good Dominant should have Good qualities, that include strength, ability, confidence, control, the ability to learn and the presence of mind to know that he can always learn more. He should be loving , encouraging, honorable and chivalrous, he should respect and cherish women and show the respect to others that he himself wishes to be shown.
He can exercise his art to help his submissive become the woman she has always been, deep within her spirit. He takes her gift of submission seriously, knowing that it is not given blindly or lightly. He always remembers how precious the gift is, how rare it is, how beautiful it is. For she has given him something that cannot be taken, but must be given, the gift of herself, her soul, and the Dominant should cherish that Gift as the rare jewel it is.
The submissive should be firm in her femininity. She offers herself to the Dominant freely, of her own choosing. She gives the gift of her submission in exchange for his love, care, knowledge and protection. She obeys because she chooses to, not because she is forced to.
She comes to him a woman, but unsure of her role, seeking His guidance, and quick learn what is expected of her. With this learning, and as he opens Himself to her, she begins to give more of herself, of her soul, her secrets, until all the two can share is learned, building their relationship, sharing their secrets and souls, so they may walk this path together.
There is no power lost, no control wrested from her, she gives willingly, the Dominant giving of himself until an immense measure of trust is built between the two. The sub must trust her Dominant completely in order to give him so much of herself ,and the Dominant must trust the sub in order for him to accept her and her gift.
Training is only the process of learning what the Dominant desires. The sub must learn when to kneel, how to sit to please her Dominant, how to address her Dominant, and so on. She does these things because she wishes to, she wish is to please her Dominant in all ways possible. Even the most "bratty" submissive comes to know just what is expected of her and what her Dominant's limits are.
It is said that the Dominant holds all of the control, and in some ways he does. But this is a consensual relationship. The dominant holds control, but only as far as the Submissive is willing to go. He may push her limits for the pleasure of both. However, the Submissive can walk away at anytime, hard as that may be, if the Dominant loses sight of her needs.
It is said that the submissive has no responsibilities, but a deeper observation shows otherwise. It has been said by many, that the Dominant holds all the responsibilities; however, many of the submissive's responsibilities are so subtle as to be overlooked. She must please her Dominant, she must act as He would wish, as her every action reflects on her Dominant. She must uphold his Honour, as He must uphold hers and protect her.
She must have faith and trust in her Dominant, just as he must prove her trust well founded. She needs the strength of will to know when her Dominant is acting in her best interests, and be willing, without embarrassment, to do as he asks her within her limits. Because that is what her Dominant wants and what she wishes; to please him she would do that which seems difficult and even embarrassing at the time, She must not follow blindly, but see that what her Dominant asks of her is for the pleasure of them both.
At times the Dominant may understand that the sub can go farther than she thought, and with the use of safe words, he is able to take her there. For the beginning of all relationships it is most important to abide by the perceived limits, it must be taken slowly. If a safe word is used and the Dominant does not heed the submissive's perceived limit, then an important trust is broken.
The submissive has a wonderful role to live with the right Dominant. With him, she will grow emotionally and spiritually into what she wishes to become, learn to love freely and unconditionally and find the true power deep within her. The Dominant also becomes the man he feels within his soul, proud to be able to walk the honourable path of Teacher, Poet, Warrior and Protector. Proud of his charge and the pleasure they bring each other. Together the two will embark on a journey that will take them out of the realms and limits of society and into the timeless dimensions of the Universe.
I have a great deal of knowledge and experience to impart to the right person. I hope that in reading the above you have gotten some idea of the person I am. The rest you will have to find out by getting to know me in person.
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| Age: 31 |
| Long island,
New York |
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