dunamis2009 on Collarspace


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	Looking for friends only, people. Sheesh, I'm seriously considering icebreakers in my profile. What does that have to say about my writing ability? Anyway, my current girlfriend of 3.6 years introduced me to BDSM. She was a little nervous opening up, but I'm glad she did- knowing just that little bit about my sexuality has molded me into a much stronger person. I'm sure I've gone further down the sadist's path than she originally guessed, but we've loved every minute of it. As a Dom, my job is to make her into the best person she can be; not just for me, but for herself too. There's very few things I feel comfortable sharing on this site. I have multiple degrees spanning several subjects, I fence. I have extremely high expectations for myself. My definition of love depends on sacrifice- how much I love someone is defined by how much I'm willing to give up for them- and people generally find that I'm willing to go far beyond normal for my friends and family. It's weird, waking up at 3AM and driving over to my girl's house to cuddle because she feels scared... it just comes naturally to me. Not that she's ever actually asked me to; that's something I'm working on. I'm definitely an argumentation nut: pragmatist (or is that pragmatacist? I can never remember which is which) and idealist in nature. Of [i]course[/i] I'm a philosopher, my username is Greek. Aristotle is my homeboy. WARNING: Any institutions or individuals using this site or any of its associated sites for studies, projects, or media coverage - You do NOT have my permission to use any of my profile or IMAGES in any form or forum both current and future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and personal property, and will be subject to legal ramifications. It is recommended that other members post a similar notice to this content.

9/25/2012 9:28:52 PM

Today, I had an epiphany about myself- one I didn't like one bit. I'm still proving to myself that several seemingly unlinked events actually have something in common, so here are the case studies:

1) Just a few weeks ago, I gave a presentation on a topic I am fairly knowledgeable about. In fact, I had made a similar presentation a few years back which went well. I went through the presentation beforehand with someone I hold in very high esteem, and he asked some very hard questions, but I was able to answer them quickly and easily, and he was impressed. Flash forward to the presentation date with maybe 20 of my friends and peers, I'm practically reading off the slides. I finish around 10 minutes early for a 50 minute presentation that should've lasted at least an hour had I really gotten into it. (Again, I emphasize that I've made presentations before; I've even taught classes)

2) I've ALWAYS been good (99%+ type guy) at exams. A year or so ago, I took one. The exam was fairly challenging, but one part I completely blanked on. The one part that the professor alluded would be on the test, the one part that I studied more than a few minutes for, the induction question, I blanked on. I was a FUCKING MATHS MAJOR. I FUCKING BREATHED INDUCTION FOR YEARS before I took this test. And yet, I blanked.

3) I fence. Just tonight, I had a "showdown"; I lost. But the catch is- I've been fencing for over FOUR YEARS, and this guy started learning how to fence A MONTH AGO. I've beaten him in play bouts 5 times in a row, and this is the first time he beats me. Ever. Oh, did I mention that I was pressured into a bet that will take a LOT of my nonexistent time over this bout?

I mean, humility aside, I'm damn near perfect at almost everything I do. Load and a half of credits? No prob. Sport, girlfriend, hobbies, research projects, tutoring, grading, and internships piled on top? Piece of cake. But it seems like you tell me to recite a multiplication table or else I'll lose my job, I'll fall flat on my face and bawl like a baby. I crack under pressure. I have a defect.

9/18/2012 8:46:42 PM

Today, she admitted to me that she went against some of the rules we agreed. I punished her for it, but I have to admit to myself that I enjoy when she breaks the rules once in a while; I've never been much of the type for a robot who'll do exactly as I say. But I have to walk a fine line and make sure I don't encourage her. Her desires will take care of that for me ;-)