YOUNG LADY! Have you ever imagined how it would feel to be a schoolgirl, with your hair in ribbons or plaits, crisp white blouse, tie, heavy pleated gymslip, snug navy blue cotton knickers, white knee socks and neatly elegant girl's shoes?

It doesn't have to be an impossible dream. I am a firm-handed HEADMASTER with 20 years experience of punishing disruptive adult schoolgirls.

Gina, Roberta, Sinead, and Lorraine (see photos) have, in the past, all been in detention for misdemeanours such as cheating, bullying, smoking, and playing with themselves but a visit to the Headmaster’s office soon sorted them out.