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Time to change the old profile. I know it will take a while so I am actually updating it with future info - had to shorten that because the word F O R M, among many others on this site, is censored out...
I will be in Florida (again) starting July 2019. I wanted to write a months, days, years at but the forward slash is also something the site will leave blank. I wish we had the list of arbitrarily banned inputs. Back on topic... I will be 39 in Sep. 2019. Apostrophes and quotation marks also get left out, so I apologize in advance for sounding like a Martian.
About me
- zen as fuck, calm as a Hindu cow
- atheist, if that matters
- big bear kind of dude
- been told I have kind of a daddy personality, I guess because Im not mean or come at people like Im the Dark Lord Sauron
- know and can use hypnosis but thats up to you, I know some people find it cringe or kind of rapey, then again, someone once told me I had them at rapey, so it is whatever
- was also described as a future cult leader by a friend when I was young. I feel that will to power sometimes but have not acted on it.
- got a bald spot but not hiding it with a top knot
- five points if you got that reference
- I play the vidya games
- also good with rope, once had a job as a sailor on a casino boat that went nowhere, go me
- I use 90s references all the time and make dad-type jokes, even cornier sometimes since I was raised with my granddad
- I like to write, if that matters
- I have a ton of hobbies and unfinished projects
- I am a lifelong learner.
- been told my beard makes me look like the Gortons Fisherman guy, might shave it later Idk
- I have met and known some cool people from this site so I have not given up all hope yet.
I will share personal pics upon request and might add some to the profile soon.
Also my name is Dan and my handle on here is a Skyrim reference. For the super young, handles are also what people used to call usernames.
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I think this is my last entry for a long time. Life hasn't ever gone the way I wanted. |
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I am a wild animal, kept in the zoo too long. I've lost my survival instincts.
I won my life in a coin toss just now. I guess I'd better get busy. |
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Cautionary (but funny) drug tale to scare the shit out of kids:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=VcMIeyjggbM |
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There's this lady on Youtube that makes crazy foods, like prison recipe ramen noodle stuff, but there's a link for "beef fudge" and I'm curious but scared, and also might steal that as a potential porn name.
edit: beef fudge actually looked alright. |
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Old profile I made just for fun back in the day:
collarspace.com/personals/v/1794930/details.htm |
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When you send something and it goes unread:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYVnxtGGp8k |
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If someone's really into verbal abuse, is "Whatever, bitch" the new "Hello?" |
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The cyberpunk future can't come here fast enough.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjKVXvBWGZU |
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"I thought I'd pegged you an idiot's dream
Tunnel vision from the outsider's screen
I never understood the frequency, uh-huh
You wore our expectations like an armored suit, uh-huh
I'd studied your cartoons, radio, music, TV, movies, magazines
Richard said, "Withdrawal in disgust is not the same as apathy"
A smile like the cartoon, tooth for a tooth
You said that irony was the shackles of youth"
-"What's the Frequency, Kenneth?" - R.E.M. |
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Just You wait and see
Good Gods come and go, but
All Lords eventually fall
A God can wake up mortal.
en.uesp.net/wiki/Shivering:The_Ravings_of_Fenroy |
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I guess I might as well be here. I might not be as setback as I thought.
Saw Stranger Things 2. I have a friend who "noped" out of watching the show. He said the monster depicted in the show is real.
It is the Christian God.
It is all gods.
He's seen it.
I wonder about him sometimes, but then also I wonder sometimes how much of what he sees is the world the way it really is.
I kind of crack up thinking of God as The Mind Flayer, but it also makes sense. |
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The answer to one of life's biggest questions - "Can't we all just get along?"
https://youtu.be/A4B0pLDqYqI?t=10 |
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Me: *sees a pic of some lady holding a tiny deer*
Me: "Hey, what kind of dog is that?" |
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Saw a profile where someone said they have girl parts.
Saying something like that makes you sound like a serial killer. You know who else had girl parts? Ed Gein. |
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Me, attempting to talk to people here 99% of the time:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJrxxnBWPdI |
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For all the people that think they're really into torture, see if you can watch the whole thing:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0U2zJOryHKQ |
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Years ago I used a program that was designed to help you make your own binaural beat audio for brainwave entrainment. It was fun but there were a lot of crazy user-submitted audio files from the forums.
I went walking one night with my headphones on, and listening to different files on my mp3 player, and this one guy's file had me hearing things, some serious audio hallucinations, that sounded like talking, but in a really weird nonsense language. The sounds kept getting louder, and louder, I took the headphones off, and I could still hear them.
The sounds or weird "alien talking" kind of whatever it was that I was hearing started getting a little quieter, but it took a good five minutes for the effect to fully stop.
Ever since then, I've been a lot more sympathetic to people who are schizophrenic or just tripping balls. All it took was a slight tweak to my brain, from an audio file of all things, and I was about ready to run down the street shouting "Aliens!"
Good news: I found the old program. I redownloaded it and it is still usable. I might use it for hypnosis audio files.
Edit: many of the presets are off-limits, buuuuut thankfully, there's always the Wayback Machine! Yay Internet Archive!
One of my favorite reviews for a relaxation preset: "fucking cabbaged me." Yessssssssssss
Edit #2: there's a goddamn preset called "The Astral Experiment" by "The U.F.O. Project." Goddamn, you know that'll be relaxing. |
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I was half asleep and had this terrible idea for a porn movie pop into my head.
The plot goes like this: someone starts getting sick, with a rare disease. So far it goes kind of like Dr. House. But they find out there's only one person on earth who can cure them, or, more like treat them, but the cure is that they have to give this person a BJ once a day, and swallow. Sperm samples alone aren't enough, it has to be fresh.
Then the movie would be about the man and woman, maybe or I guess there could be a gay adaptation or sequel, but anyway, the two people would try to live their normal lives but with this big event that happens every day, and their relationships suffer because of it.
"He doesn't mean anything to me! I told you, if I don't do it, I get sick and die!"
"Look, I know you think I'm cheating on you, but I can't just let the woman die, now, can I? I'm saving a life!"
Then their personal relationships blow up and over time they figure they're stuck with each other, and get married.
Then years later, they have kids and a relatively normal life, and there's a twist ending, either it can turn out that the woman was hypnotized the whole time or maybe he was, and she was just like his crazy stalker that went the extra mile to be with him.
I love half-asleep ideas. |
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View Interests
See that they have SCA listed, and at "Expert."
Send a message.
"Oh, hey, I used to dabble in the SCA some time ago. What was your SCA name?"
Never get a response, profile goes inactive soon after. |
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Two fake profiles:
Norfolkgal35 and Norfolkgirl35. One claims to be from the US, one is from the UK, both have very similar stories, both were created the same day and both have the same height and weight listed, only they both use different pictures of people; the US pic is of brunettes, the UK pic is of blondes, and the faces are nothing alike. I guess they don't think people will look at what's going on internationally. |
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This cracks me up so hard. I might have to make a "Manotaur" profile. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HfzGasBzbew |
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Saw a Youtube comment that had nothing to do with the video I was watching. Some girl mentioned that she was 40 days sober from pills and meth. I wanted to respond "You shouldn't have started in the first place, you dumb bitch." I mean how the fuck do people start meth? "Meth, eh? I've heard some great things about that stuff!"... but I held back. I just have, like, all kinds of restraint. |
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I just realized I could potentially make my own user S C R I P T (it's still hilarious how they edit that one word out) using a Greasemonkey type program to make this site act right... Hmm... |
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From a profile that was on yesterday: "Destroy me, ridicule, expose me."
My message to this profile: "I don't know, that sounds like work. What do we get in return?" |
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More site cliches:
1. "Will fill this out later." - is never heard from again
2. "I'm just curious to see what's out there" - first day on the site is their last day
3. "Still looking" - been here since 2005, bonus points for not updating age from 18 or 19
4. "I want someone to find me and blackmail me" or "I'm doing this on a dare" - profile disappears ten minutes later
5. "Gah, can't keep up with the email, sorry everybody" - claims to have already found their soulmate a week later
6. "Add me on KiK/Skype" - accepts your friend request and then is never on
7. Long profile to read through, catches your interest, puts that they're OWNED at the very bottom of it all, instead of at the top, so you wouldn't have wasted your time. |
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Funny shit on this site:
1. "Girls" who are ready to be a 24/7 live in slave RIGHT NOW but they just need you to send them some gas money. They'll also come to you, but don't want you to pick them up. Riiiight. One even said her uncle wouldn't approve. She was 24. What the fuck's her uncle got to do with anything? It's even more hilarious when their picture looks like it's from where they paused their VCR.
2. 18 year old supermodel "online only" profiles of white girls from Africa or Brazil who never want to meet up in person, don't want to send pics, don't want to talk on the phone, don't want video calls, want to be totally online all the time and only talk on this site, but of course they're real and don't you dare question them, even though Google Image Search shows their pics on Tumblr and twenty other sites.
3. "Am so and so by name..."
4. The double commas
5. "Seeking for"
6. Forgot to translate from Kilos to Pounds on the weight.
7. "Financial" Dommes who are fake as the day is long, but again, don't you dare question their realness, just send them money money money money money. Hell, I could have five fake "domme" profiles begging for change and probably be retired in a few years.
It'd probably go something like this.
"Hi I breathe and I have boobs you should totally give me some money for that, I mean what else were you going to do with it, feed your wife and kids? I'm totally a girl you can tell from my picture where I held up a white piece of paper that wasn't edited via MSPaint to sloppily put on some letters to show just how real I am, and also don't mind the warped background around my breasts, they really are that big, they're so big they have a habit of bending spacetime around them, and that's why I have tiny T-rex arms in that photo. Send me some money kthxbye."
edit: also funny:
8. Undergrond Female Fight Clubs. What?
9. People who won't relocate from New Jersey. Is New Jersey that bangin'?
10. American girls using decimals to describe their height, like 5.7 feet. Nobody does that here. |
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I'm angry. I want to lash out. I'm not normally like this. I feel like breaking something but it's late and I'll definitely wake the neighbors. |
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Yep. Time to get the fuck out of here. |
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Some features that would make this site a lot better:
1. Whitelist and Blacklist countries and states, especially if you have strong political feelings one way or another.
2. More picky selection, don't just lump slaves, switches and submissives all together
3. Be able to rule out profiles with certain keywords and phrases. This could help scammers not show up in your search results, and also rule out people whose interests just don't align with your own. Say you're grossed out by something, you could put that in the "block profiles with" thing and poof, no more of those.
They're never going to actually DO any of that stuff, but I can dream. |
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I'm an idiot for coming around here. I need to just stop. |
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User has blocked you, mail not sent
Again, dude. Again. I need to stop asking questions. Anyway, let's talk about rope.
The cool thing about knots is that they all served, and sometimes still do serve, a purpose of some kind. They were thought up strictly to do a job. There's a knot for old school handcuffs. There was a knot to bind sailors' feet, and, no kidding, one sailor would dangle another over the edge of the ship while the one being dangled painted the ship, upside down. That was one of those regular ship upkeep things. You had to have a lot of trust in the person(s) holding you, but even more, you had to trust the knot, so if you wanted it tied right, you'd generally tie it yourself.
Sometimes rookies made the mistake of overcomplicating knots, or making them tricky to untie, but sometimes the speed of the untie is also a safety factor. Say, if you had to release the small boat to abandon ship, you don't want to be messing around. With a good knot the untie should be almost instant, which is what you need in a high pressure, panic type of situation.
I like hitches, too, because they're easily adjustable. Knots have a fixed tightness once they are tied. Hitches can be tightened or loosened; they can always get tighter. The hangman's noose is technically a hitch, as were earlier versions like the Strangler's Knot, which, I mean, you can guess why it's called that.
The Monkey's Fist is a good one, too. I learned to tie the 4x4 and 5x5 varieties - you need a lot of rope for that - but 3 x 3 works just fine. It's pretty ingenious, it's basically designed to hold a little ball of weight, and make the rope throwawable from one ship to another, or from a ship to someone on land. Rope normally just doesn't "toss" very well, especially in the wind.
I learned this crap as a Deckhand, on a casino boat, that never went anywhere. There were legal complications with the casino, so they made it a boat, and for some reason for years it had to actually leave the port for a while, but eventually they let it just stay docked. But even a docked ship still moves. There are always waves, and the river goes up and down a lot over the course of a day. A lot of minor adjustments are always required. Maintenance still needs to happen. Deckhands have to be there for all sorts of events, like fires, "man overboard" stuff, and so on. But mostly all we did was do watch. Nobody ever got so suicidal from losing their money that they jumped off the ship. One lady tried and got grabbed before she did. We did have small fires from time to time, one was a malfunctioning slot machine, and another was a typical trashcan fire from a careless smoker.
We'd sometimes do crowd control for medical problems. One patron had a heart attack on the floor and we had to form a circle around him so the EMTs could work on him, because, no shit, people thought that his slot machine had to be "lucky" and wanted to get to it.
There's too many elements of darkness in a job like that. I'll never visit a casino as long as I live.
This has been a ramble. |
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Man, this happens far too often:
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[You cannot respond to this message because the account no longer exists] |
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I guess I'm nobody's cup of tea. |
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I hope Facebook never introduces a "dudes creeping on your profile" alert app or something. |
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I keep breaking the Prime Directive. |
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Got blocked again. I guess not everybody has my sense of humor. Or maybe it's my lack of chill.
Me when I'm looking:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3C3poU_0sK4
Me when I don't hear back:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYVnxtGGp8k
People sure do like to use aliases here. Either that or there really ARE a lot of a Alices (in Wonderland) or Jasmines (I can show you the woooooorld...). How many layers do you have to peel back before you really get to know someone?
edit: I'm going to go around telling people I'm a white dude named Aladdin, and see how that works out. |
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http://chainsawsuit.com/comic/archive/2017/05/15/hardbody-door-to-door/
That's so delightfully absurd. I'm going to try to work "Spreading the meat wealth" into conversations somehow. |
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"I feel your presence amongst us...
You cannot hide in the darkness..."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0Ao4t_fe0I |
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For people who are into hypnosis, or curious about hypnosis, I'm going to offer a little bit of advice.
Hypnotize yourself first. You can do it. This guy's video, I have recommended to people for years, it's straightforward, doesn't have any mumbo jumbo talk or new age nonsense, and you can prove that it works for yourself in mere minutes. Over a couple weeks, you can make it even faster, down to one minute or so.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9Bi4gqdb0g
Everybody's mind works differently, but you'll learn a lot. You might find that some part of your mind is sabotaging your efforts, shouting random thoughts, possibly even really disturbing thoughts, while you try to put yourself under. That's a lesson you learn along the way, and then you have to incorporate new tactics to deal with those kinds of thoughts.
Do you delete them?
Or do you mutate them into better thoughts that can only strengthen your hypnotic experience?
It's really funny when the "shouted out" thoughts start becoming more positive and nice. Imagine someone screaming "HAVE A NICE DAY!!!" at you on the street.
Another thing you'll learn, as you go, is that your suggestions/commands can make you more awake and alert, and that you have to keep reinforcing the deepness of the state that you are in. The "deepness" is sort of the currency you use to buy belief in a suggestion.
So if you suggest something that's too unbelievable, you'll wake right up and be out of the session. I've had that happen and it's unpleasant, kind of a rude awakening. You'll be like "Oh. Huh. Here we are."
Start small, and work your way up. Make your first few sessions just about exploration, and getting there, and then getting there faster, and deeper each time. Then you can really do something amazing. |
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Thought of the day:
How would you explain feelings to robots? |
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I see a lot of profiles (that are probably fake) with people talking about how they want extreme pain and torture and things like that. I thought I should drum up a few ideas along that line, maybe see if I've got what it takes to be considered "extreme." Here's how I would torture someone who is into being tortured.
1. Make someone watch marathons of "Safety in the Work Place" and Orientation videos. Switch it up now and then with episodes of "U.S. FARM REPORT."
2. Make them get a job in the food court in the mall around Christmas time. For bonus points, make them work at some place that still fries fish in oil. They will come home every day with burns and emotional scars for life.
3. Make them have to do something at the DMV and not have the proper paperwork.
4. Make them build sandcastles, and knock them over, saying they aren't good enough, and then make them do it again and again.
5. Make them dig a fort in the dirt with their hands. Splash them with buckets of water from time to time while they're doing it.
6. Have them make me a nice pond, dug out by shovel. In winter.
7. Make them give me book reports, from old timey writers who don't write the way people talk today. Upgrade to powerpoint presentations later.
8. Make them play me in some video game that they have no experience in, that I have mastered from wasting my time. Make them keep playing until they can finally win, all the while having absolutely no mercy and giving no instructions. When it seems like they're just about to win, turn the game off.
9. Find something they're good at, that I would be terrible at, and order them to lose over and over again, all the while telling them they suck, and things of that nature.
10. Make them live out the cheesy training montages of action movies in the 80s and 90s. Especially Van Damme movies. Sooo hot. Throw a bit of Kill Bill Vol. 2 in there for good measure.
11. Get them on a masonry crew laying cinder blocks in the hot Florida summer sun. She'll be strong like bull.
12. Give them LSD and take them to a county or state fair. Take notes the whole time, especially for the reaction to the Gravitron ride.
13. Make them get the Mike Tyson face tattoo.
14. Make them watch a theme of scary clown movies, like IT, Killer Klownz From Outer Space, etc. all day, and then take them to a circus.
15. Keep changing the rules but don't inform them, and then punish them for not knowing the updated rules. Say things like 'Are you calling me a liar?' and get even angrier when I'm called out.
16. Make them get a job at someplace like UPS, unloading trucks. They will get beaten down by walls of boxes all day, be sore all over, and get yelled at by bosses for not being fast enough.
17. Sleep deprive them for 3 or 4 days straight. I have ways. Make them watch cartoons the whole time and watch them go insane.
18. Have them protest for very unpopular causes that go against their nature.
Oh yeah, man. I'm just getting started. |
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I don't know how you're supposed to introduce yourself to some people on here. They're so hostile and so demanding that it seems like you're just supposed to throw out word salad and hope it pleases their mental egg sorting machine. |
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It's weird how many 40 year old married nurses are on here. |
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"Then abandon all hope and return. The bloom is beyond the grasp of men."
www.youtube.com/watch?v=469GSRA4nQg |
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I've seen a lot of weird things on Craigslist, but this has taken the cake. It's been going around for a few months, and in all major cities in the US.
It's titled "Honey I Shrunk The Kids writing collaboration."
Here goes:
"I am looking for a writing partner to do email or instant message-based sessions revolving around various reenactments and recreations of situations similar to those in the Disney classic movie Honey I Shrunk The Kids.
Various aspects of the original movie has always fascinated me. The perspective of being shrunken, the various interactions with normal every-day objects and situations. My role would be that of a shrunken individual, while yours would be that of the normal sized role.
Out of all of the scenes in the original movie that I have always wanted to reenact through role-play is that of the Cheerios scene.
The requirements for this job: you are verbose, deive almost to the point of being ridiculous, very imaginative, and hopefully you like Cheerios. The ability to take something as simple as moving your hand and creating a moment and event out of it would be preferred as far as detail depth.
If you feel you are the right one for this, and are up for having plenty of fun while doing so, then please reply!"
...
I felt dirty just having read that. There's that word this site edits out for some reason, S C R I P T, and I'll never get why, but it makes some words look funny without it. |
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5BCB-mvwV8
I so want to find this game. And start talking like the Gatekeeper.
ANSWER ME! |
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| Age: 28 |
| Texas,
Texas |
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