|
|
|
|
| The journey has been neither straightforward nor dull, and I know I will continue to love the life I live. This journey, however, is meant to be shared. I have a supporting and wonderful spouse, though we are sadly not completely sexually compatible. we are, for this and many other reasons, poly. She has a long-term, healthy partner where we used to live (DMV area) and visits him up to half of each month. I have a long standing friend and now partner, also long distance, whom I see much less. Neither is a match for me in BDSM land, and I hope to find a local Boston partner or perhaps at least community to return to exploring and nurturing that side of me .
Some more on my stance, to clarify:
B/d is an interaction, and elements of it can be very fun for the bedroom and for anticipation and foreplay, but bondage does not make up a relationship to me.
S/m is also an interaction, usually between people with rather specific needs. Again, there are a few elements which can be very fun, but putting someone in pain-and especially prolonging it-is not my thing. If my woman likes a good spanking, or having her hair pulled, nipple clamps, or these sorts of things, then that is a wonderful door to have open, but they are meant, to me, to be sexual play for her enticement, for the enhancement of her sensation and experience of pleasure. Transitory, sensual pain is good; wanting to hurt someone to me is not.
What do I seek then?
D/s IS a relationship to me-or can be, and that version is my desire. I hope to find a sub who is a strong, powerful woman, the kind of woman I can grearly respect. Together, we will challenge each other, demand the very best of one another, and maybe go so far as to make a commitment that withstands the tests of time, and of convention. D/s is about two strong people agreeing to take a single path tog, with one person handed the keys to decision making, the responsibility for navigation. The sub gives over this responsibility in exchange for freedom-and with the commitment that she will give inputs (for I wish to find a woman whose advice and counsel I regard incredibly highly), and then give her all in execution, confidently and come what may, once the decision is made. There is an efficiency in having a single journey, in never having to battle the helm back and forth, and there is an incredible romance and trust in that kind of bond that the vanilla world simply lacks the intensity with which to compete. Sexually, we have the keys to explore limitless possibilities, including the fun aspects mentioned above, but realize I'd never feel gain by debasing my sub. I want to nurture and strengthen her, show her every pleasure and find every desire under my care and watch, but my own limits stop short of ever causing her anguish or damaging her self-esteem. I think two consenting, understanding people can build the trust to accomplish that while still venturing VERY far into the dark corners of their libidos...
|
|
|
|
