Something I do not get. I see these girls getting upset that a Master wants to have some kindness in the relationship. 

The thing is that no person responds to only negative reinforcement.  It eventually will break anyone. 

Plus we need to reinforce the behaviour we want you to exhibit. 

That reinforcement doesn't have to be flowers and candy. It could be a good ass raping if that is what you need. 

It also doesn't mean you are in charge. It means the Master knows what to use to motivate you. 

That ass raping may be pleasure for you but torture for another. 

A good Master needs to know you as well or better than you know yourself. He needs to be able to read your moods and needs. 

It's not to please you but to control you.  

I have to know how to punish you and make sure you know it is punishment. I cannot have you acting to be punished because you crave that punishment. 

If you like being beaten it is not a punishment. It is a reward. 

If you do not like it then it is a punishment. 

Do not mistake seeking information for weakness. While it maybe in some cases, but a bit of kindness is like a touch of salt in a sweet dessert. It makes things pop just a bit more.

Imagine spending the afternoon being used on a carpet Rug burns on your ass. Going out for supper. Dressed up as I want. A short skirt without panties and you are sitting on a leather seat. It clings to your rug burns. Each time you move the rug burns sing out their pain to you. 

So it it a reward or punishment?  

The long road to divorce is nearing its end. Who knows after its finished I may start to look for a playtoy again. I do find it disheartening to see all the ads by so called slaves with a long list of demands. 

When did being a slave come with the right to command?

I understand listing hard limits. Things that would cause physical, mental or spiritual lasting harm. I understand a slave saying they are not pain sluts or would like to serve a single Master/Mistress. 

But doesn't slave imply a LACK of FREEDOM to choose? A surrender of wills? 

Now don't get me wrong. I would not want a girl who has no power to give up. But there is the secret. A slave gives power up. They truly wishes to hand it away to one they trust and love. 
A list longer than volume C of the Encyclopedia Britannica would imply you are less a slave and more, well, playing games hoping to find a sugar daddy/mommy who will take care of you and deal with the things in life you are too precious to have to deal with yourself. But if  they step over that line you have drawn in concert you will leave and most likely call the cops to report abuse on the way out.

Yes a slave should be allowed hard limits. Things that they cannot do. 

But be careful that list does not become a cage you have crawled into that keeps away your true happiness. Or admit you just want to play around and are not looking for anything other than kinky weekend sex so the rest of us can find what we need.

It is amazing how we are affected by the opinions of others and sometimes do not even notice it. Anyone who thinks they are above that is lying to themselves. 

The secret to dealing with it is to pick who's opinion you value not to ignore all opinions. When you start doing this life does become much easier.