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Dom4subMs

Dom4subMs - photo 1

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I am only seeking a female sub or slave. I have no interest in males.

If you are pretending to be someone who is selling a slave, pretending to be a slave who needs money, don't bother me. I am not interested in your scam.
I am a dominant male, unmarried, strict, loving, healthy, active, can still get it up and experienced in the BDSM culture. I have owned one slave and she was with me for 50 years. Cancer took her over seven years ago. Since then I have played with a few female submissives, but they weren't right for me and I wasn't right for them for a long term relationship.
I am looking for an intelligent, mature woman who will have as her primary goal to make me happy and hopefully to love me. I am an intelligent Dom who wants a woman who wants to be able to speak her mind, yet will take direction. A woman who is seeking security, a relationship and sex. A woman who seeks long term. I understand that a slave is a human being and despite her willingness to do anything for me, there are limits to what she is able to do. Some slaves wish to be objects, property and they will be used by me in that capacity. However, a slave may wish to be acknowledged as a person and she will be used by me as a person.
I am into many different areas of kink except those that are illegal, lead to disease, disfigurement or otherwise permanently damage a human being.
As a sub or slave, your age is irrelevant to me. If you think that I am too old for you, it sounds like you aren't mature enough for me. Experience is irrelevant (each Dom or Master has his own requirements and I will teach you mine), but it is useful to know whether you are a newbie in need of extensive training or experienced enough to need far less training. I would like you to be living in the Sacramento area or be open to relocating here. I am willing to negotiate limits with you, if you are a sub. If there is anything you wish to know, just ask me. If I don't find you, feel free to contact me. I know that may be hard for you to do, but if I am the one you are looking for, isn't it worth making the effort?
My definition: A submissive is someone who will do anything their Master wants, but with some reservations and limits. A slave has no reservations, but she does have limits.

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10/4/2017 8:44:08 AM
I am taking a break from this website. I can't find anyone who is real and willing to move to me.

7/9/2017 1:25:15 PM
Many of the men on this site don't think of this lifestyle as more than a meat market. Many of the women look at it as a source of income. Everything from "I will come to serve you, if you will just send me the money for gas" to "my mistress will release me to be your sub/slave if you will pay her." They don't realize that this is about relationships and respect for each other. A sub or slave serves out of love for a master or mistress and the master or mistress guides, teaches and supports their sub/slave mentally, emotionally and sometimes monetarily. It is just a different relationship where the sub/slave can give up the stresses of daily life in return for making the master or mistress happy. It is the world in which I grew up and which I miss since my slave/wife passed. I seek a sub or slave who will enable me to enjoy that life again where I have someone to care for and protect.

11/20/2016 4:58:44 PM

Wants and Needs
Everyone has wants and needs. To be happy one has to fulfill one's needs. However, people would rather satisfy their wants without first fulfilling their needs. In my opinion that is why there are so many unhappy people in the world. What am I talking about? Well let's look at hunger. Vegetables or a lollipop will satisfy your hunger. You need vegetables for vitamins, minerals and energy. Your body rewards you with good health. You want the lollipop because it tastes better than vegetables and it gives you energy. Your body rewards you with a cavity. Which would you rather have, good health or a trip to the dentist?


11/20/2016 4:55:30 PM
I have seen so many profiles where the profile picture is of boobs that it is boring. Sometimes the boob picture is of someone else's boobs. I realize that most men are about boobs, but really is that all you have to offer? If the man that you want is all about boobs, what would happen if you should need and have a mastectomy? Boobs come and go, but you will need to go on whatever. So attract a man with the whole you and what you have to offer rather than just your chest.

2/13/2016 4:07:54 PM

Lifestyle and the '50s
There is a perception that the lifestyle practices have always been "forbidden" or "dark." Actually if one goes back to the 1950s, we see vanilla households where the woman of the house did the shopping, cooking, cleaning, took care of the family and catered to her husband's every whim. That was the picture of the average middle class family of the period and it was the way that people lived and expected to live. The man of the house earned the wages that kept a roof over their heads, provided for food, clothing, etc and was the authority figure to the woman and children. Now that picture is pretty much considered the public face of today's D/s relationship. Yes there are some people who wear lifestyle costumes in public and go out wearing a collar and leash. The private side then and now involved the kinkier elements of the relationship: bondage, spanking, being made to stand in the corner like a child and punishments in general. The sadomasochistic elements were done in secret, were practiced by relatively few people and would have shocked the general populace.

People living on the coasts today look at the 1950s way of living as no longer applying to the present. Yet if you were to venture into the Midwest, you would find people living exactly that way. Ministers tell the woman that the bible teaches that when a woman joins a man it is her duty to serve him in every way that he desires. The woman is servant to the man and shall obey him. This idea is preached publicly to the congregation as part of the service at some point. I have been witness to this. Feminism has driven that "normal" lifestyle underground on the coasts. The culture on both coasts is all about empowering women to be more like men, to dress like men, to do the work that men do, etc. Many women are unhappy and unfulfilled by the quest to be more manlike. They like the idea of having a man "be the man." They are happy to trade the feminine mystique for the opportunity to have a lifelong relationship caring for, serving and loving just one man. As a result we have the current state of BDSM, which has gone from the militaristic lifestyle of the post WW II GIs to what we see today. We still have the need for obedience, the "Sir," the discipline and the sadomasochism of the old ways, but we also have the lifetime commitment of what I consider to be the real Doms and the real sense of stability that women crave.

There is another aspect of the lifestyle that doesn't originate in the '50s vanilla lifestyle. That aspect is the freedom that our lifestyle bestows on its practitioners. It can be seen in the lifestyle costumes, in the freedom to do anything that two willing adults wish (safe, sane, consensual), in the freedom to expose our inner and outer selves without being judged and in the acceptance of responsibility for actions taken and not taken. The lifestyle permits one to enjoy one's inner fantasies in real life without being judged. It is the freedom to be who we really are, to remove all the disguises that we adopt to fit into "society's norms."

That is my view of the lifestyle as I have lived it for the past 55 years. Your view is the one you practice.

 


6/28/2014 12:49:56 PM
I wonder about definitions.
  • I note that many choose the ethnicity Native American, which to many means a member of a tribe or a descendent of a tribe of people who were here to greet the Europeans when they arrived. Either this lifestyle appeals to an unusually large number of people in that ethnic group or people are not using the common definition of Native American. Just curious to learn whether there are really that many Native Americans drawn to this lifestyle for some reason.
  • Lifestyle apparently is synonymous with wild and crazy sex for many young women and possibly men. The lifestyle is much more than that and it would be wise to be aware of that so you know what you are getting into or you will have a big surprise.
  • Submission as a gift. If submission is a gift to the Dominant, then Dominance must be a gift to the submissive.

3/11/2014 6:43:02 PM

OK, I give up. There are a very few real kinksters on this site, the rest are just girls who are looking for stories to masturbate to and out and out fakes. See ya'


12/29/2013 2:51:44 PM

The following is from the profile of an OC sub who uses the handle PerfectHousewife. I believe that this describes the '50s lifestyle as a man expects it to be.

The perfect 1950’s housewife

I feel the man is the HOH where his word is rule.  The wife’s job is to attend to her mans every need to make him comfortable and happy.  He snaps she responds, she is the perfect hostess, polite, kind, happy and enjoys taking care of her man.  She is intelligent, extremely sexual, very submissive and knows she will be disciplined daily.  The man will be in control of everything – she will be told what to wear when, she will have daily chores she must do, she will have to maintain the perfect home and make sure every one of her mans needs are satisfied. 

So the next time that you subs put '50s lifestyle as a "lives for" or "loves" this is what you should expect. CM doesn't always spell these things out too well.


8/4/2013 12:03:07 AM

I am a veteran and for those of you who may not understand what that means, this is the best explanation I have found.

A Veteran is a person who wrote a blank check to the United States of America for an amount up to and including his or her life. That is beyond honor and there are way too many people in this country who no longer remember that fact.

Copy and paste this to your journal if you are a Veteran,... know a Veteran, Love a Veteran, or Support the Troops! May God Bless Them All!!


12/26/2012 12:22:06 PM

This is from the journal of vixen kneels a sub of many years. It is very long, but it carries a message for all who call themselves submissives.

Understanding what Submissive means. These words were allegedly written by the onerose who has also been known as winterone, calliopeiaone, ladyhawke and whitetigress or so she says...I can't verify that so will attribute this to an UNKNOWN AUTHOR. To understand the power of submission, one must first understand what being a submissive means, where it comes from and how it is expressed. True submission is something that comes from deep within a person and is an essential part of their nature. It is something expressed from the soul and as such, it goes much deeper than the mere physical/sexual act of offering oneself to a Master for pleasure. A person can behave in a submissive manner but this is not the same as being 'a submissive'. To offer oneself completely and utterly to another, to surrender all choice and 'power' requires an exceptional inner strength. High self esteem and a knowledge that in order to relinquish power to another as well as understanding that one must possess that inner power is essential. Embracing and expressing my submissive nature has given me the most powerful opportunities to find the deepest levels of trust, power and the intimacy that can only arise from the bond of a Master and sub. It is the ultimate expression of balance, the archetypal opposition of yin (the receptive principal) and yang (the active principle). Both sides being perfectly equal, yet forming a perfect whole. As a submissive, my goals are to come before my Master as an empty chalice to be filled.....or a blank canvas to be painted....formless clay waiting to be molded. Thru this exchange, i know that i will become more than i was before....the Master takes the raw material, or the blank canvas or the raw gemstone and brings out the inner lustre. In this experience, what many misinterpret is that they assume the Master imposes his will upon the sub and she becomes whatever he wants her to be. i would disagree....to me, the Master brings out the qualities of submission in a more pronounced way. Rather than being told to 'act' in a submissive way, it is the submissive's role to remove veil after veil until who she becomes is the perfect reflection of devoted service and in serving her Master, she finds an inner joy and balance that comes from knowing that with each veil removed, each boundary crossed, she becomes MORE of who she already is. When i feel, hear and see my Master's pride in me, i know that i am elevated and adored above all women. i have truly given the Gift of my soul to him and in that exchange he becomes as bound to me as i am to him. That is the beauty of submission to me. There is a dynamic that exists where the more my Master asks of me, the more i am able to give, and then the deeper our bond becomes. It grows exponentially. The perfect yin/yang of the Master being the active principle in the TAKING and the submissive being the receptive in the GIVING.My submission is expressed in many ways: on a physical, mental, emotional and spiritual level. Without all of these levels, again, it becomes merely a physical act. There is a sacredness to submission as well for me. Like prayer or other acts of devotion, it is living my life with an intention and focus that always strives for the highest, purest expression. Putting the relationship first...always searching within for ways to please and offer more of myself than i think i can. It is this going beyond and pushing limits that becomes the most important reward of submission for me...the place of empowerment and self knowledge and the resulting inner strength/transformation. It is also dancing with the inner Shadowself...the parts of me that are about fear and being taken on the journey by someone (the Master) who will be there to catch you so you never really fall. The most special part of submission for me is level of intimacy and soul connection with another. Each veil that is removed, each boundary crossed, each lash accepted and begged for, each time of being taken to the outermost regions of letting go of control.....all of this is the glue that binds the Master and sub completely to one another. To become completely naked and vulnerable on every level, then give more than i think i can and see the pride, love and devotion in my Master's eyes is the greatest Gift imaginable.

 


12/19/2012 2:23:08 PM

I don't understand a submissive's thinking when they say that their submission is a gift. If you are a submissive, then submission is part of you like red hair or blue eyes. When two people in the lifestyle come together and can forge a relationship built of steel, it is truly great and the gift, if there is one, is that they have found each other.


9/19/2012 11:30:18 AM

Real submissives seem to have problems with undesirable e-mails. A suggestion for their profiles is to begin the profile with a statement like the following:             I am a sub/slave, but I am not Your sub/slave. You will treat me with respect or your e-mails will be ignored.  Unless I have agreed to be your sub/slave any and all e-mails that give me commands, ask for nude photos, call me slut, bitch, whore, etc. will be deleted and will not get replies.

Of course you can feel free to modify this to suit your needs.


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