7/27/13 - I originally wrote this back in 2011. An update was long overdue. While some things have changed, many have stayed the same.
It's interesting, the way these relationships seem on the outside versus what's at the heart of them. At least, what's at the heart of the healthy ones. I'm dominant. I have possessed and will again possess a submissive/slave/girl. Whether we label that "ownership" or "a loving relationship that happens to include very well defined gender roles" -- I couldn't care less about the terminology. A submissive, a slave, a girl, a Dominant, a Master, a Daddy… "a rose by any other name". For the sake of fewer keystrokes, I'm going to use "girl" from here on.
Whatever the terminology, the implication is I lead and you follow. This I agree with. While that's true, what isn't implied is the dedication and effort aren't one-sided. You make my happiness your priority in all things and you make yourself available to me in all ways. I provide direction and guidance, structure and discipline and I make your best interests a priority in all my decisions. Each woman is different in what motivates or inspires her and what a happy and fulfilling life entails. It's important to me for us to discover and create that. I feel that good leadership is open to feedback and is mostly transparent. Your thoughts, feelings and opinions are welcome and will be accounted for while you ultimately abide by my decisions.
You have needs. Even if your strongest desire and entire focus are to please me, you have needs. At the most basic level you have the need to be physically healthy, for attention, for my approval. Whether your needs are few and simple or many and complex, you have needs. I state this because I've had some conversations with women so focused on their desire to be pleasing they don't seem to grasp that they have needs and those needs are important.
I'm always working to discover, anticipate and understand your needs and your fears, even, maybe especially, the ones you aren't aware of or are unable to articulate. I'm assessing your progress and your comfort zone and determining how best to give you what you need and how to inspire you to improve -- in ways that benefit me directly and in ways that benefit only your personal growth. Figuring out how to help you overcome your fears within the safety I provide and how best to give you the little push you need in order to allow yourself to slip over the edge, knowing I'll be there to catch you, always. It probably sounds like a lot of work and it can be. It's something I truly enjoy. Most of my energy outside of maintaining my career and providing a life for us is centered around you and your needs, often putting them ahead of my own.
I'm no pushover. You will not walk all over me, far from it. Once we've established the dynamic of our relationship I'll be quite strict about it. Nothing is carved in stone. As we each grow individually and as we grow as a couple, there's every reason to reassess the structure of our relationship and make necessary and sensible adjustments.
I've found myself happiest with women who bring out the Daddy qualities in me, whether or not the relationship would be classified as Daddy/little girl. Again, the terminology isn't important. What's important is the inspiration to take care of my girl and the way she trusts me and in some cases looks up to me. Any time the word Daddy comes up I feel it's important to make one thing clear. Age play isn't something I need. If it's something you're into, it's something I'll enjoy with you.
Though I consider myself an easygoing person I won't compromise on things that are important to me. Number one is honesty. I offer it completely and I demand it in return. You need to be capable of allowing me to earn your trust with reasonable time and effort. I communicate very openly and I require you to have the ability and willingness to reciprocate. This is more difficult for some than others and I can be patient. I'm quite skilled in helping women open up and I've been told by many they've found themselves able to be more open with me than anyone before. You want to love and to be loved. You have a genuine desire to please, whether or not you've already fully embraced that part of yourself. I don't want a girl who's just looking to be used. We may include that type of scenario in our play but it will never be a primary aspect of our relationship. You need to be someone I can have fun with in our day to day lives. Monogamy is important to me. Call me selfish, but I don't share. If you're bisexual or bi-curious, I'm willing to allow you to explore that, together, at such a time as I feel it will have no negative impact on our relationship. I seek longevity. The investment I make in relationships is no small thing and it saddens me when they come to an end. I don't expect an upfront commitment to permanence, nor do I buy into such things. Far too many slaves here are seeking yet another "permanent" ownership. There's much more, but these are the most important things.
Now for some topics that come up frequently here at CM. If you want to be caged or similar when I'm not home, I'm open to that. I have no need to keep you in physical captivity. I suspect many self-proclaimed dominant men rely on such measures because their insecurity convinces them you'll otherwise leave. You probably would, they don't deserve you. I'd much rather create an environment in which you can't imagine wanting to leave. Nor do I feel the need to stifle your growth through isolation tactics such as denying you contact with family and friends or disallowing school/work, unless such isolation is of interest to you. If you'd rather focus on taking care of me and the house, I'm fine with that and I'm comfortably able to support that financially. If you have a desire for a very high level of control, you want to be micromanaged, I can provide that. I don't require it. I find it difficult to apply a one-size-fits-all statement to cover the control topic but know that I am flexible and we'll do what works best for us.
I enjoy giving a good spanking (with whatever implement I feel will get the job done or looks like fun at the time) and other play along those lines. While I'm comfortable satisfying the needs of a masochist, I'm not particularly sadistic. I'm comfortable with your tears, whether emotionally or physically inspired, and I'm comfortable helping you expand your boundaries. I don't see myself cutting or playing with needles and such, but I wouldn't rule it out entirely if that's something you feel you need to explore. I'm not interested in using you as a punching bag. Otherwise, you'll find I have great enthusiasm for exploring your interests. I love giving my girl what she needs and I love rewarding her good behavior.
Let's see, what else...
If you have little or no experience, that's fine. It just means there's that much more for us to explore together and I'd be honored to be your first for those things.
My proudest moment… An ex, from my most recent significant relationship, told me, "Every girl dreams of being loved the way you love me. I know you want nothing more than to give me the whole world." I love that she could feel that.
If I've contacted you, it's only after reading all of the information you've made available in your profile and journal. Because the connection I seek is much more than physical I prefer to know something about you. I ask myself honestly if I can give you what you need and whether you offer what I need. If I have much doubt on either end of that, I won't waste our time by writing. It's rare pictures alone are enough to motivate me to introduce myself. It happens on occasion.
If I've added you to my favorites but haven't written, it means one of a few things.
- Your profile doesn't say anything or says very little. I'll check back later to see if you've updated. If not, I typically assume it's either a fake/scammer profile (most at CM are) or you don't have a single thought in your pretty little head. I won't waste my time writing in either case.
- Your profile is new and I'm waiting in order to not be lost in the initial flood of (mostly unwanted) attention you're about to receive. I feel no need to get there first. If you're the one for me, you'll be there when I'm ready to introduce myself. This also weeds out the naïve woman who offers herself to the first self-proclaimed Dominant who orders her to submit or, laughably, declares herself "under consideration" right off the bat as commanded by the wanna-be dominant she's talking to who is so worried she'll find someone better that he needs to limit her options as soon as possible.
- I intend to write you but wasn't in the right frame of mind to really speak from my heart when I viewed your profile. It's important to me that I express myself fully and accurately.
In any case, you're welcome to contact me first. Tell me what you connected with in what I've written here and I'll take the reins from there.
