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The Largest BDSM Community on the Planet

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Pan Male Submissive, 50,  Somewhere, Georgia
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Dichotomous1 - photo 1

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If you thought I had disappeared like most fakes, I have not. Actually, I just made some changes to my profile and it just takes forever for them to do whatever it is they do when they approve them. I am on that other site if you want to find me there. It works better too.

I actually have a lot of Ds interests and more than can be covered in this short profile. Im looking to enrich my life with others whose company and kink I enjoy. If I find the right connection then Im open to more, including slavery, but for that you have to be able to get into my head.

If you like what you see, send me a message and lets see if there could be more in our future, although we may never be more than just friends.

BTW, the pics are mine and fairly recent. I am a bit of a fitness nut. I like the result and the discipline it takes. It is not necessary that my Dominant be similarly inclined. In fact, it can be quite nice if they are not but I do have limits in that regard.











Last Online:


 Submissive Male



 6' 2"

 230 lbs






Actively Seeking:

Dominant Female

Dominant Male

Switch Women

Friends Only

A Poly Household

 Lives For:



 Orgasm Denial

 Lifestyle BDSM




 Body Worship



 Genital Punishment

 Foot Worship

 Housework Service


 Obedience Training

 Serving as a Butler

 Outdoor Bondage

 Public Play




 Female Supremacy




 Fine Dining











 Canes and Crops

 Domestic Service




 Masks (Wearing)

 Massage (Giving)


 Pony/Puppy Roleplay

 Role Playing

 Wax play

 Body Art





 Intellectual Discourse








 Classical Music

 Country Music

 Eighties Music



 Pop Music


 Rock Music

 Seventies Music

 Body Building



 Curious About:

 Anal Play


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Journal Entries:
4/7/2018 3:01:12 PM

There have been many styles and designs for male chastity devices over the years. In the early days they were designed somewhat similarly to female chastity devices that were anchored to a belt around the waist. Another strap ran from the front down between the legs and attached back to the belt on the back. Often there was something like a cup, which would cover and contain the male anatomy.

While the belt design is still found today, most modern designs use a two piece design consisting of a cock ring and a tube or other kind of enclosure. The cock and scrotum pass through the cock ring and rests next to the body. The cock ring is typically called the “A” ring.

The penis then fits into the tube or other kind of container. If it is a tube then the open end of the tube in which the penis is inserted is called the “B” ring. The other end of the tube, and sometimes the entire tube, is typically closed. In some designs the closure on the front end of the tube is an even smaller ring that is too small for the penis to pass. The ring on the front, if it exists, is called the “C” ring.

The tube or other enclosure for the penis is connected to the cock ring and secured in place by a variety of locking mechanisms. The scrotum hangs between the “A” and the “B” ring. The distance between the “A” ring and the “B” ring is wide enough for the scrotum to hang but too narrow for the testicles to pass back through. Thus, the device is held in place by both the fit of the “A” ring and the inability of the testicles to pass back through gap between the “A” and “B” rings.

The devices are made in a variety of different materials. Some are metal while others are plastic or acrylic. There are pros and cons to the different materials such as weight and cleanliness.

The plastic and acrylic devices tend to be lighter than the metal ones. The less the devices weigh the better they are for extended wear and comfort. While the metal ones will typically weigh more than the plastic and acrylic devices, the design and construction of the metal ones has much more effect on their weight than the plastic and acrylic ones. As a result, a well designed metal device can still be very lightweight, although it may never be as light as the plastic and acrylic ones.

While the plastic and acrylic devices have the weight advantage over metal devices, the metal devices are usually easier to clean and to keep clean than the plastic and acrylic devices during extended wear. The plastic and acrylic devices more easily accumulate odors and are harder to clean while wearing. To fully remove the accumulated odors it is usually necessary to remove them.

Another factor to consider when choosing a chastity device is the design of the “A” ring. Essentially, there are two basic “A” ring designs. The first is the traditional solid ring while the other is a hinged clamshell design. While with the solid ring design the male genitalia is slipped through the ring, the clamshell design opens so that it can be placed between the genitalia and the body and then closed shut.

Once one a regular routine is developed for slipping into the solid ring there is not much time difference between putting on the solid ring and putting on the clamshell. In fact, in one respect the solid ring can be simpler, since once it is on the next step is simply attaching the tube. The clamshell can be a little trickier because something has to keep it closed. Sometimes that functionality done with the rube itself. In that case, things can be quite complicated because sliding on the tube is often a two handed job; yet, holding the clamshell closed can still require another. In designs where the clamshell rings overlap, the clamshell is held closed with a pin that fits though holes in the overlapping rings as well as through a ring on the tube and then the locking mechanism holds it all in place.

Not all clamshell designs overlap, however. Some just have the two arms meet and then held closed. This kind of design can have problems with pinching genitalia skin because there is always a little play with the locking mechanism. As a result, the two clamshell arms can slightly separate allowing some skin between them. The arms can later be forced closed with other movements like sitting, which will pinch the skin that has come between them.

Another facet of the device to consider is the locking mechanism. The locking mechanism can not only add unnecessary weight but because its placement is often away from the body it can torque the device down. Most of the devices, even the plastic ones, use a metal luggage padlock. The weight at the top like that has more torque and will cause the entire device to slip down and put pressure on the testicles along with reduced blood flow, which is not good. There are several ways that this problem can be mitigated.

The first way to solve the lock weight problem is to replace the traditional lock with a lightweight combination lock. This method has the added advantage that the keyholder does not have to safeguard the key. Rather, they just set the combination to something that only they know. If you like the key as a decoration and a torment you can get an antique or artistic key for you to wear around your neck or ankle or bracelet even though access to the device is controlled by a combo lock.

The second way to solve the lock weight problem is to use a plastic one way locking luggage tags. These are very lightweight and usually uniquely numbered. So, it is easy to tell if the lock has been broken and replaced.

The third solution is what is known as an “integrated” lock. The integrated lock is a kind of pin that threads hoops on the “A” and “B” ring the way that a door hinge pin threads the two plates of a door hinge. Built within the pin of the integrated lock is a locking mechanism that prevents the pin from being removed. This kind of locking mechanism accomplishes many ives like keeping down the weight, reducing torque and a snug fit.

Clearly, there are a lot of factors to be considered when selecting chastity device. Like many things, the final selection is not based solely on one or two criteria. Rather there can be quite a number of considerations that have to be optimized in order to achieve the desired results.

11/16/2017 11:03:02 AM


I have been interested in this stuff for quite awhile--like 30 years.  My interests have evolved from top to bottom, quite literally.  I've enjoyed my life on top but I've found the rush from subspace even more intoxicating.  So, now I'm exploring the bottom, although I am very selective about whom I serve.

While I identify as a sub, I would submit to slavery for the right Dominant or even a couple of them.  A D/s dynamic with a male and female couple is of considerable interest as is some kind of poly-family situation.  It is really about the dynamic, though and finding a group of people whose kink and company I enjoy.

You need to be a natural Dominant, however, and not just one that claims to be a Dominant or one that simply ires to control something in their life.  I can respect a firm Dominant and will submit to their desires but brats and parasites are simply not the kind to whom I cater.

Such conditions may seem inappropriate for a sub.  Perhaps it would help to know that I'm one of those Alpha subs.  That does not make me a bad sub. Rather it makes me a special sub for a select Dominant.   You could say that I'm a spirited horse and like a spirited rider.  For us to click you need to be an accomplished rider that appreciates a spirited horse, particularly one that respects a good rider and would go to great lengths to please them.

For some of the specifics, you may like that I'm a bit of a fitness nut.  I like to exercise, eat sensibly and stay fit, particularly for the pleasure of my Dominant. 

If you like biking, hiking, kayaking, swimming, or other fitness activities, with or without a kinky twist I'd love to have an occasional exercise companion whether or not we have any other kind of relationship. If you are actually a good athlete and can push me, I'd probably enjoy your company more than just occasionally.

Speaking of pushing me, I'm a bit of a masochist in more than just my fitness regime.  If you're a bit of a sadist with a devilish mind involving bondage, impact play and any number of other torments, we could click. 

I actually have a lot of D/s interests and more  than can be covered in a this short profile.  Actually I see my interests more like icing to the everyday life kind of cake and all the duties and responsibilities that go with everyday life.  So, I don't mean to focus so much on the icing but we can discuss the rest of the cake if you happen to like my kind of icing.
If you like what you see, send me a message and let's see if there could be more in our future.  I'm looking to enrich my life with others whose company and kink I enjoy.  A good match is just hard to find and it always seems to come when I least expect it.  So, feel free to surprise me.  :)

10/22/2017 4:24:57 PM


I assume the thrill for you and him is controlling his cock and denying his orgasms while you enjoy sex and orgasms whenever you wish.  If that is the case, I have a few suggestions if I may.

First, don't just lock him in chastity and leave him there.  He'll get used to it.  The frustration levels will diminish without periodic reinforcement.  So, let him out frequently, although keep him restrained and unable to pleasure himself.  If you are into bondage then keep him secured to something whenever you let him out.  If you are into CBT then handcuff his hands behind his back and put clothes pins on his cock during these periods.  Overall, this will help keep him very functional and on the edge.  I suggest letting him out several times a week for an hour or so.  It helps the blood flow, maintains functionality, reduces soreness and ensures that you can keep him locked for a long period.

Second, sometimes when you have him out edge him.  Perhaps make him kneel in front of you and have him edge himself to your command but do not let him cum.  Just let him get erect and hard then have him stop before he cums.  When he starts to go flaccid start again.  Do this several times before locking him back.

third, a few times a week let him sleep without his cock cage.  Put him in the guest bedroom or on a sleeper sofa.  Use something with a long chain like ankle cuffs and secure his hands to the headboard or to the sofa frame.  The extended chain length of the ankle cuffs will let him move and change positions while sleeping but the chain will be too short to let him reach his cock. You may even want to use another ankle cuff to secure at least one of his feet to the footboard or the bottom of the sofa frame.  this ensures that he stays in a position that will not let him pleasure himself; yet, it allows blood flow and even allows him to get a normal erection while sleeping.  Keeping his dick fully functional and responsive is essential to keeping the edge on and maintaining the effectiveness of the orgasm denial.

Fourth, if you get really good with securing him to another bed and you are into cuckolding you may want to consider bringing your lovers home and let him spend the night secured to the other bed while having to listen to you moaning and having vigorous sex in your own bedroom.  Make sure he gets to listen.  It will drive him absolutely wild and will likely result in an excruciating evening where he is quite aroused and unable to satsify his urges.  In fact, he may not get much sleep as a result.

fifth, when you do let him cum, make it very humiliating.  Perhaps again have him kneel in front of you and jack himself off onto your foot and then have him lick it off.  Similarly, you could have him masturbate into a glass or bowl and then consume it.  you may even want to consider having him do this in front of others, which would be very humiliating.

Sixth, another take on the edging or release routine is to put him under time pressure.  In other words, put him on a timer and let him know that he has something like only 60 seconds to masturbate before he has to stop and get back into the cage.  You might want to  add something interesting such as a roll of a dice to see how many seconds he gets to masturbate and try to cum.  If he gets good you may want to talk to him while he does it in an effort to distract him and make things more difficult for him.

Seven, use other techniques to reinforce the imbalance of your relationship such as having him frequently worship your feet.  Foot worship provides powerful imagery for a submissive male that reinforces your dominance over him and keeps him submissive to you.  Foot worship should be a frequent and regular part of your regimen.

Eight, from time to time, let him fuck you with a strap on.  Don't let him use his dick.  Only let him fuck you with a strapon.  You will likely find that it becomes quite involuntary for him.  His body will be simulating intercourse and trying to get an orgasm which he never will achieve.  he likely will go until his body is completely exhausted.  The exercise may not be so much about your sexual pleasure as the pleasure you receive from humililating him so.  You'll lie on your back and make your pussy available and then watch him go until he completely gives out.  Make him put your feet over his shoulders and lick them while he does this.  You'll be there feigning bewilderment that you are giving him the opportunity to fuck you and don't know why he can't cum.  You're just not sure what the problem is. :)

the chastity cage is quite mind altering.  In the end you want to keep him frustrated and submissive.  The cage should be another constant reminder of your dominance over him.  If you keep him functional he will likely have frequent erections while in the cage, which can be quite painful.  the pain is not just from the restriction of the cage against his swollen cock.  The most severe pain will come as his dick swells and lengthens and pushes the base ring away from his body.  the base ring can only pull away so far, however, because the scrotum is of a fixed length.  As his swelling cock pushes the base ring away the testicles will be squeezed between the base ring and the tube ring.  The scrotum length is further shortened because as his cock swells and lengthens the scrotum is tightening and his balls are trying to rise, which they won't be able to do because they will be trapped between the two rings.  if you keep him functional this will be happening frequently and it's quite painful.

If you get really good at this you may also be able to institute rules and protocols where violation or disappointment results in punishment.  For example if he gets too frustrated and nags you too much or tries to hump you without permission then secure him standing up with his legs spread and crop his balls in punishment.  Other behavior failures could be linked to similar punishments.  At the conclusion be sure to have him worship your feet in forgiveness.

Have fun.

6/11/2017 2:33:14 PM

There is an old saying that, “People often misunderstand BDSM because they see the act and not the relationship.”  In the vernacular, it is often referred to as “chemistry”.

Both Dominants and submissives alike are guilty of making this mistake.  When they do their encounters are often disappointing resulting in claims of “fakes”, “wannabes”, and the like. 

While it may be possible to find simple service on any street corner, the parties should realize that even street corner service is a relationship of sorts.  While submissives could be capable of all kinds of acts and services, not all submissives are inspired into submission by the street corner kind of relationship.

Many factors can influence the relationship.  The D/s dynamic is hugely mental for both the Dominant and the submissive.  As a result, the Dominant who wishes to be obeyed must understand themselves and their minions as well as know how to command.

My advice to any Dominant looking for a worthy submissive is to think of them as a treasured possession.  Everyone understands the "car" analogy.  So, let's use that one.

If you had a really nice car, I bet you would take care of it and not abuse it.  The reason you would take care of it is two fold.  First, you would likely want to garner the admiration of your friends by driving it around for all to see.  Second, you would want to be able to use your car and enjoy the pleasures it brings you.  If it is broken down on the side of the road it really is no good to you. 

Some cars will handle bumpy roads and even off-road excursions better than others.  If that is the case, you may well derive great pleasure from places you can go because your car is durable and dependable; yet, if you knew it was not capable of such excursions would you treat it that way anyway?  Again, if it is broken down on the side of the road it really is no good to you.  If you are planning to abuse it like a bumper car for some kind of demolition derby chances are you won't be buying a Mercedes, Lexus or Infiniti.

Of course, the car analogy has some limitations since it is an inanimate .  A car might respond when you press the gas but it won’t respond just based on the presence of its owner.   Since equestrian themes are pervasive throughout BDSM, perhaps a horse is a better analogy than a car.  It is not unusual for a horse or any kind of animal to react to the mere presence of its owner.  Unlike the car, the horse can also have a sense of loyalty for its owner.

As the owner, you would hope it would develop a sense of loyalty and that it would be ready and willing to behave in ways that would please you.  While you might discipline your horse as part of its training, you likely would not abuse your horse.

Coaches may push their athletes but a good coach is not going to abuse their athlete.  Abusing an athlete does not make them better.  Pushing them might make them better but not abusing them. 

There really is not much difference between owning a car or a horse and owning a submissive/slave.  Those who doubt me have never had the strength to submit much less the skill to command.

12/10/2016 9:43:13 AM

There are many interesting contradictions on this site.  There are those that claim to be easy to approach and talk with.  They even encourage members to message them.  When you do message them, they delete your message unread.  Sometimes there is an explanation like their search is for something totally different that had gone unnoticed.  In that case, I suppose their failure is just a lack of graciousness versus a contradiction. 

For others, their target is clear and what they list is a perfect match.  So, there is nothing disjointed about what they seek; yet, they delete without even reading what was sent.  I wonder what they thought the message was about?

Then there is another group that asks that interested candidates answer questions or make a pitch about why they should consider the candidate.  Amazingly, their response to the  answers they requested is it's topping from the bottom.  I wonder if they get any good, well thought-out replies to their own requests?

Then there are the ones claiming to be dominant but they really are not.  Rather, they want to be dominant because they need to be dominant in at least something they do.  I guess what they really want is to find is a lower rung on the ladder.   I suppose there is someone for everyone.

Life is full of contradictions.  I just find these interesting.

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