Well I have just bought a puppy. Yes I must be mad. My time is definitely going to be full on now. So signing out for a while.

This time tomorrow I will be in Egypt. I am flying at 1pm tomorrow. I can't wait. Have fun whilst I am away peeps. 

The move went well. Getting settled in. Managed to get on line using mobile internet. Bit dodgy but hey ho. 

Sending me messages about waking up with a stonking morning glory is just going to get your message deleted without me even reading it... Come on Guys you can do better than that??? Or maybe not???? There seems to be a lack of intelligence on this site....

More packing today. My house is now officially declared as chaos. I have boxes stacked from floor to ceiling in almost every room. Do I feel like I am getting somewhere??? hmmmm that could be debated. I do have a system going but it is impossible to pack everything up as there is still stuff I need between now and next week. 

Back to the packing today. I finally feel like I am getting somewhere now. Only have a week to go until moving day. Getting nervous now. On another note I am off out this weekend. Can't wait. Going to be in great company again and forget about those worries of mine. 

So I lost my friend to cancer after she lost her fight to it. I am doing a race for life for her on the 24th October in the evening. Yes I will be running that night whether it is cold, raining or whatever. I am doing it for the love of my best friend and a good cause. I will be raising money for a worthy cause. 

Back to the packing today. My house is full of boxes. Only have 8 days until I actually move house now. Starting to feel very stressed with it all now. Most of my belongings are in boxes and will be until in the house the other end and I get time to unpack it all. 

I will be looking forward to my holiday on the 21st. I just hope that the trouble in Egypt has calmed down by the time I travel. 

Naughty Naughty and yes it was on a school night ;)

I miss rambling in my journal. So I turned it back on. 

House move is only 17 days away now. Stress is starting to kick in. 

So I had my hair done today. It turned into a bit of a disaster today. Got to have it done again. 

on another note I will be back to the gym tomorrow. I have missed it for a few days. It will be nice to be back. 

So I did over 12 k in the gym. Check me out LOL. Really working hard at this. I have then been and done 20 minutes on the ifit machine, then 10 minutes on a sun bed. Now I am off swimming. I will be fit by the time I go on holiday to Egypt if it kills me LOL... 

Time to head out for the day now. I have spent far to long on here. 

May pop my head back in later on if I get time. 

Name and Shame. 

 luckin4fem keeps sending me abusive messages because I have not replied to his messages. I quite simply have had so many I have not had time, but because he has sent me 5 messages now which I have not responded to and he is now calling me an inconsiderate c*** amongst other things I am name and shaming and reporting. 

So I am feeling a bit better than I did the other day. I was really down in my last post. 

Getting lots of emails still, but people seem to be so far away. Why is nobody local, and when they are local they either don't have pics on their profiles and won't send one, or I am not attracted to their photo. 

Is attraction important. I believe it had a part to play. 

Somebody asked me if I have a type, and I have thought about this long and hard. Yes I do believe I have a type. I like my Men in my personal life to be Dominant, about 5ft11, fit, muscular, not to be though and I like mousy to dark hair. I also have a thing about goaties and the rough look. A bit like Danny from the script lol. Now I sound like I am being incredibly fussy lol. Still a girl can dream can't she. 

However if somebody came a long and they were like that, got into my mind and treated me like a Princess, oh yes I would be in complete Heaven and it would make 6 years of being single all worth while. 

Really lacking any inspiration to be here. Hoping somebody will come and change that and spark some interest 

Hmmm so I am now getting messages from Dominants wanting to be submissive with me. Nice to know this place doesn't change. :P 

Not had time to read any emails yet so apologies if your awaiting a reply for me. 

I am on the prowl.. Yes I admit, I am hoping somebody is going to spark my interest so I can get my talons out. :P 

So this week for me has been busy with exams at college and finishing assignments. Only another 6 weeks togo then I can seriously let my hair down. 

Although something exciting for this Saturday night. My friend has his album launch Saturday night for his new album which is going to be huge. Can't wait for this one. There is going to be loads of amazing friends, paparazzi there etc. 

Roll on Saturday night. Its Party night for me and this girl here is going to seriously party. 

Have just come back from Disneyland. Totally exhausted and thought I would pop my head in here. See nothing has changed and nothing exciting in my messages. 

Recovering from a stressful few days. Not read any emails yet. Apologies to though who have been waiting for me to read your messages and reply. 

I am off to bed now as really tired. 

So Its my Birthday tomorrow. The 10th April. Yet another year older. So who is going to try and make my birthday one worth having this year????

Any offers to this single lady writing right here :P 

So yet another so called Dominant has mailed me wanting to sub to me. Seriously to you Dominants out there. If you are Dominant then why are you mailing me to be a sub to me??? Surely that would tell me your not really Dominant. I don't not chat to somebody because they are Dominant ya know.

However you do need to know that my attention is taken elsewhere ;)

Just been reminded why I dont come on here. Some sick fuck looking for somebody into k nine... yet he slags of people on his journal. Then calls me rude. Like what the fuck.

 Watch out girls...

 Predator WOWgee...

Oh and yes he asked me if I would do k nine... Seriously needs to change his attitude...

I have not been on here for a long while. I have no time for here anymore. I am happy as I am. Thanks for the emails everyone, but I am already wanted elsewhere

Happy fishing folks.

Tiresome, I am getting disheartened everytime I log on, that any new email I receive, you Guys only have a couples of words to say. Or one sentance and thats it.  Do you really have no little to say. Come on somebody inspire me, put some faith but in me, that there are guys who are intelligent on here.

Please if you wish to contact me and you don't have a picture on your profile send me one via here. I will not be passing out my msn or yahoo details to anybody that doesn't send me a pic here. Also I will now not answer any mails to anybody who doesn't have their pic on their profile or send me one here.Hopefully that will wittle down the timewasters, or people that I am not going to have an interest in. Sorry if that sounds tough Guys, but thats just how it is.

Once again the respsonsibilites of being a parent are taking over for me. So I am inactive at the moment.My 3 year old has been in hospital. Will respond to mails when things have settled down.

Sorry not had time to blog for a while. My 6 year old son made a full recovery thanks for asking. We now just have a couple more challenges to face, then onwards and upwards I hope.

Had some serious health problems with my youngest son who is just turned 3, so that has been taking up all my time.

On another note, I spent the last week in New York. Had the most fabulous trip. Didnt get much rest as you can probably imagine, and walked over 100 blocks. Now I am back home to reality. Have the kids back with me, and now getting ready to cope with my youngests illness.

Anyway just wanted to appologize to all of those who have emailed. I haven't read alot of my emails yet, but I will try get around to it over next few days.

Love to all.
xxx

Wow what a long day. Was up before 6am as I had the phone the ward at six to check that there was bed space for my sons operation this morning. Then it was mad rush to drop little un off and get him up there for 7am. We made it, and have survived the day. He is so brave 3 operations done all at once. He is now in a lot of pain, but on the road to recovery.

Sorry Guys too tired to read and reply to emails tonight.

xxx

So the day is almost here. Have to be up the hospital for 7am with my eldest boy who is age 6 for his operation. Not looking forward to this at all. I think I am more worried than what he is.

I would like to thank all those who have offered their support. Also appologies for not emailing back yet. I will do as soon as I can

xxx

The masochistic ballet.


The room was empty apart from a chair and a table..the stark light shines from a spotlight into the empty room from above the chair...

Your sat in this chair, waiting!
i walk in, into the spotlight's beam wearing black lingerie... You wonder what is going to happen...!

You there sit patiently waiting wear a masquerade mask... staring into the room...

its quiet i walk in-front of you, walking around the room, i view the implements on the table with trepidation... i want to put on a good show, perform for you to please you in this total masochistic ballet...

I know you wont move, talk or touch.. but i know the further i go, the further you take it..the more pleased you will be at the performance... your excitement builds in anticipation.. the electricity is clearly there on both sides, i have to put on this show to pleasure you...

where to start the performance...i think!!

I click the cd player button for the trance music beat to start... i start to move to the beat, your eyes fixed at me and into the spotlight... i start moving slowly at first my hand running over my body.. transfixed by the show i alone star in...

I reach to the table for the oil, smoothing it over me still moving with the music like in a trance with it.. turning myself on more and more on with touch.. getting great pleasure with my fingers... exploring everywhere!!

i place the bottle down, continuing to run my hand over my flesh... moving then to reach for the knife... pick its cold handle up, slowly dragging it across your silk like skin... cut away your lingerie.. leaving my breasts naked... your eyes are transfixed on me but you don't move... inside i am screaming in anticipation of the show, how far do i go .. my heart is banging as you sit so still staring out at me...

for sometime i continue to run the blade across my skin.. moving still so erotically with the music.. the red lines form all over my body from the knife..

after the knife i slowly carefully attach many pegs, they hurt, i know how much pain turns you on, the more pain i show the more pleasure you will receive.. so i attach many enjoying the sensations from them all.. i continue to move.. moving around the spot light performing, moving close to you.. so you can see better, the marks and the pegs...

later in the show i have spanked, whipped myself...
& oh the candle wax ...
covered in marks laying on the floor spread eagle i dripping the wax into me... so painful so erotic... i watch you watching the show going crazy inside and not a movement on the outside or show of emotion from you.. but i know just how turned on you will be inside...

i culminate the show whipping myself into a frenzy... Then fall to the floor...

i lay there breathing hard.. the show has lasted ages.. i am buzzing, exhausted and driven wild by it the same..

You move for the first time... remove the mask and walk over to me, we begin to kiss the passion electric.. you take my hand to walk me to bed... to show me gratitude, love of the show thru complete passion...

edit

An interesting weekend. Went to see the expendables at the cinema last night with a friend. Had a really good night. Then today was family day with my kids visiting my grandparents.

Now I am going to have a nice relaxing bubble bath, before getting an early night.

Is life complicated, or only complciated because we make it that way. GGrrrrr

Why is it so difficult finding an Honest, Respectful, Sadistic Daddy Type Dom. One who is what he says he is... Plus has the caring side too???

i have been in bed all weekend with a sickness bug i caught off the kids.

i am not starting to feel a little better.

On another note i have finally decided on y summer holiday for me and the kids. We are off to Kos for 2 weeks to a place called Tingaki and i can't wait.

A few have asked me what i got up to at Sweet Torments. The answer is absoutely nothing. I had great time with friends but no play.

Well as a door closes another always opens.

Off to friends later, then a school reunion. Should be fun.

SUB DROP CENTRAL.

I NEED A CUDDLE.

Had a massive family get together yesterday. All my cousins there. Far too much to drink and an extremely sore head this morning :(

If i don't email back, or haven't read mails etc its because my Uncle had a stroke and has been in a coma. He passed away at 5 am.

Would all members who wish you support me in removing photos of me from somebodies profile please help me do so via a thread in one of the forums on here and post your support. Many thanks.

Excuse me are there any Male Vets out there???
No? ...
Why?
Well it's just that my beaver needs the kiss of life!

Somebody on here is posting photos of me, could anybody tell me how i can get them to remove them or the site to take them down please ?

Not written for a while, had a lot going on.

Went to kinky britains bdsm party at the end of last month and did some snake bite branding. Then on the Sat Dave added more to the brand.

Since then have had a couple of needle play sessions, and then been taking things easy.

Off to the Cape Verde islands in 2 days now for 2 weeks. A much needed vacation. I can't wait.

Hope everybody is keeping well. I am off to bed now. xx

Not long got home from the West London munch. It was a very interesting and imformative evening. It was also lovely to catch up with friends that i hadn't seen for a long while.

i am totally shattered. Didn't sleep well the night before as i still have this awful cough, and chest infection hasn't totally cleared up yet.

Have i much planned for the weekend?

Mmmm that would be telling.

Why do Dominants keep trawling Collar me.

Hey to all your so called Dominants living in Dominant La La fantasy land.

Why do you keep trawling profiles even if you have got an ugly sister???

Or maybe its buttons your really after???

Cinderfuckingsubmissive don't exisit. 

Isn't it time to hang up your shackled slipper.

Start living in the real world, be happy with what you have got.

Now the real fun may commence.

i should probably be very worried. He threatened to staple up my pussy Saturday night. Apart from the words ouch springing to mind, i am quite turned on by the idea, providing its not a long term chastity haha. xxx

i had a surprise visit from my Father yesterday. He popped in to bring up a few things. When seeing him off at the car he says to me. Oh before i forget, i found some shackles in the garage i thought you may want. He then goes to add i have no idea how they got there. i went yeah yeah, ok Dad of course you don't... *giggles*

So my Father is a secret Dom???

Now i am wondering what else is in the garage.

When He called me this evening he said he felt a tad guilty about giving me his cold/lurgy. Its lovely to share things with you Daddy, but i can think of many things to share that are better than this stinking cold, and feeling so shit.

Cuddles with you here is my massive lonely leather bed would be nice.

Different Dominants Some just spankers, some are players, and then a lot clearly don't have a clue.

i am sorry but if you can't up hold an intelligent conversation and are not passionate about the lifestyle etc... then i can't see how we would ever click
 
Don't you think if i wanted to get laid i would go to te pub and pull somebody. i need more than that hence why i am here.

i am feeling extra shitty today, tucked up in bed shivery with a cold.

Think i need some pampering. Now there is a lovely thought.

i hope i am better by the weekend.

Woke up this morning feeling extra horny. Spent the night blissfully sleeping, and dreaming of Daddy spanking, whipping, using his knives, violet wand on me, taking me to sub space with some breath play to. i can't think any thing better than to dream the night away with such pleasurable thoughts.

Been feeling flat all day, a bit of sub drop. On top of that now i have a banging migraine coming on. Wish i could be in your arms right now. You made me feel safe, and looked after.

Tired and sleepy, i feel completely exhausted this evening. i was meant to see girly earlier, but we are rearranged as she knew i was shattered and not up for much this evening.
Got work in morning, no rest for the wicked.
So much for my early night :(

You have left me yearning for more. You seem to have taken my mind completely, craving the feel of your knife again, and needing more.

Thanks again Daddy for the most wonderful night.

i surivived the night, and am here to tell what happened. it was an evening like no other i had experienced before.

To begin with i was shaking literally with nerves. The not knowing what Daddy was going to do to me. i walked through the door, had not even put my bag down, and He pulled me to him and kissed me hard, then ordering me to tell him i was his slut for the evening. His baby girl purly there for him to use and abuse. It took quite a while for my nerves to calm down and he through me completely out of my comfort zone.

When i played up, and didn't do as i was told, i got spanked. i soon learnt it was far easier to let him do what he wants. i wasn't going to get my own way with him what so ever.

So throughout the course of the evening he always asked me on a scale of 1-10 how i was feeling. He also made feel completely safe. The time i was felt the most fear was when he made me lay on the table, and started running the blade of his knifes over me, i could feel them sharp against my flesh. Or almost burning me. i then could feel myself drifting off as he kept taking me further.

He also was a complete gentlemen, caring and considerate. He was aware that my back has been damaged from careless play with a previous Dom who clearly didn't know what he was doing. As a result of that careless play, i now have permament back damage. So when my back started twinging, he stopped, and cuddled and soothed me on his sofa, until i was ok again.

He also did a stapled corset on my breasts. i was again unsure as not experienced spaples before. However i didn't feel them, and it was no where as near as bad as i thought it was going to be. 

Battle of the wills commenced when it came to a little bit of naughty time, and lots and lots of laughter, giggles and fun. Including sillyness of a thumb war. lmao which of course i stood no chance, but i am a feisty cheeky thing at times. 

Now long after that we went to bed, cuddled up in his arms, and slept.

Now i must say i am completely looking forward to part 2.  

Its typical i choose to take the last couple of days off as this week as been quiet work wise for me. i work for myself so being i don't work i don't get paid. However i do budget myself for the quiet times, anyway i am going to catch up with my friend and her son this morning. Its just typical as i could be working, my phone has been non stop all morning.

Still i am not one to break plans, now running late.

Plus i am all exciting after receiving aa text with the threat of OTK spanking tomorrow. That is such a turn on. Hand meets flesh and the sound of being spanked. i am wet at the thought of it already. If He feels me during spanking me, he will see what a naughty excited baby girl i am. ;)

I was touched this morning when He called me to see how i was after going to bed with a migraine last night. Left me with a lovely warm glow after our brief chat. He voice drives me mmmmm well i am going to keep that one to myself sorry folks.

Anyway what i thought was going to be a miserable day turned into a beautiful sunny one.

My friend who i have known for 29 years, her son, myself and my kids went to Marsh Farm for the day. It was a fantastic day.

Even more so when i got a lovely text in the afternoon. Then the mention of needles got me all excited. Roll on Saturday night.

So now i am home, kids in bed, i am going to unwind now.

Imagine your hogtied to the bed, blind folded and your Master has instructed you not to move. Your in pitch darkness. The room is quiet except for the music playing softly in the back ground. Your unsure if your Master is in the room looking at you, or whether your alone. All of a sudden you get an itch. How annoying is that, an itch coming a long when you have been ordered not to move. So do you secretly try and scratch the iitch some how, hoping your Master doesn't notice. However if he does and your caught, you know your in for a dozen of the cane. So you lay there for a while hoping the itch goes away, but it doesn't, its a persistent itch.
lets hope not to get caught.

Something to get the conversation started.

Thats what my girly sent me this morning by text. The next thing i know, i have received a picture text of her with no top on, and her very nice breasts.

I messages back lovely breasts hunni, wait for Friday night.  She messaged back giggles.

What a nice morning text i thought.

Not had a migraine attack for a while, but my head is starting to thump now, and starting to get nauseous. Going to lay down now. Hope your day was ok? Wish i had you soothing me with your soft deep voice, and stroke my hair, whilst i fall asleep in your arms. As much as i adore your Sadism. Please show me the caring side of you as well.

i thought i would share this as i am touched by somebodies efforts last night to mail me on here. i get many mails, but usually they only consist of a couple of sentances, then given an msn id. Then i find you get to msn, and they have nothing to say there either, so it was all rather a waste of time, and i end of blocking them.

i am not really one for cyber anyway. so last night i was emailing with somebody, and rather lengthy emails i must say. it was certainly a refreshing change. we joked that maybe we had broken the record of the amount of emails sent to one person on collar me.

Anyway after an entire evening of sending long messages back and forth, we speak on the phone briefly before retiring to bed.

i am looking forward to our chat later, thanks for sparking my interest and restoring my faith that there are people out there with more to say than just a few words.

i went to Crimson last night with a friend. It was  a good night apart from i was too tired from only having an hours sleep the night before.

J and i watched some fire play outside which was very impressive. It left her and i intigued in finding out what that feels like and a desire to experience it for ourselves.

Anyway i feel completely fubarred today, in other words shattered and to words of that effect.

xxx

I have just got back from a week away. The weather was very hot, but the first hotel i was staying in was worse then Faulty Towers unfortunately. However the company moved us to another hotel and then things slowly improved.
The weather was hot though some days hitting 50 plus degrees.
Now back to England and although today was hot and humid, still feel depressed as  i feel this country is lacking so much these days.

Went over and caught up with some lifestyle friends this evening. Was given a very interesting medieval device that locks your wrists and ankles in it.
Also given some wooden paddles and a pony harness. Not that i have any intention of being a pony girl, but its nice to be offered bdsm equipment and build up my collection. Some of it may come in useful one day. ;)

I have had a few emails complaining about the amount of fakes on here. Hey guys i am not fake, and even posted another couple of new pics. xx

I haven't been around much. Summer months keeping me busy.
I also have been doing up my home. I just have had new carpet fitted in my bedroom. Also got a new bed. Its made of real Leather with the mattress handmade.
Its so comfy i don't want to get out of it in the mornings.
Now all i gotta do is find somebody to Christen it ;)