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I am a submissive woman who is in a D/s and S/m relationship. My submission comes from a place deep inside the core of my being. That place cannot simply be found through my flesh...only through my mind, heart and soul. There is a difference between being submissive and being a bottom. I may bottom for different people at varying times and enjoy it very much. To submit and hand control over to another, however, is very different. There is a deeper connection and a deeper level of trust. When I find myself with a person I choose to submit to, it's a wonderful state of being for me. I trust that person to keep me safe during our time together, to push me, to allow me to let go of my inhibitions and go beyond what I thought my mind and body were capable of in order to please him....and myself. Through my submission, I am free.
I am a masochist. I enjoy pain very much. I love pain that brings pleasure beyond my conscious rationalization, pleasure and lust so intense that it resembles pain, making me primal and wanton. I enjoy fluid, effortless power exchange. I like bondage, knife play, breath play, impact play, wax play, along with many other things. Most of what I enjoy can be considered edge play, but I enjoy many different activities. Some are extreme and some are not. It depends on the connection I have with the person I am with.
"If a woman is not submissive to a man it is not because she lacks the ability to submit; rather he lacked the ability to create for her a place in her heart and mind to fall to her knees."
"I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman."
“It's hard for an educated woman to turn her head off. That's part of the joy of being a submissive. None of the decisions are yours. When you can't refuse anything and can't even move, those voices in your head go silent. All you can do, and all you are permitted to do, is feel.”
“Sex without pain is like food without taste”
WARNING: Any University and all other institutions or individuals using this site or its associated sites for projects or personal use - YOU DO NOT HAVE PERMISSION from me to use any of my profile or pictures or writing or anything else on my current or future profile in any form whatsoever. If you have or do, it will be considered a violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal action.
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Written by me.
I Can Be
I am the element of chaos to your serenity,
The dark shadows on a sunny day.
I am the obscenity to your morality,
The wrong turn when you think you know the way.
I am the tears to your smile,
The nightmare invading peaceful dreams.
I am the monster to your inner child,
The silence suffocating screams.
I am the encouragement when you falter,
The truth that will dispel lies.
I am the strength when you are weary,
The comforting arms holding you as you cry.
I am the light shining through your darkness,
The path that will lead you home.
I am your safe place to rest,
The knowledge that you are not alone.
I can be your nothing,
or I can be everything in between.
The decision is yours to make,
What do you want me to be? |
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This is one of my personal writings.
I Am Free
Eyes open, looking for your darkness
Eyes closed, staring into my darkness
I feel the arms of desire wrap around me
I hear your voice
I smell the scent of your sweat
I feel it splashing and dripping on my body
I smile at your exertion
I am humbled by the beautiful pain
I marinate in the pleasure I feel
You want to hurt me
I want you to hurt me
Harder, please
More violent, please
Show me your lust
Show me your darkness
Show me your pain
Give me your pain, please
Then, the world fades away
I dance effortlessly to your rhythm
My body answers to your every movement
Every strike
Every touch
I hear you breathe
I hear your heart beat
Soft moans
Growls
Screams
Tears
I feel myself get lighter
A part of me tries to hold onto gravity
I panic for a moment
You whisper through the chaotic noise
And you're all I hear, loud and clear
I feel your touch and it's ok
You're there
I let go
I float
I fly
I soar above, tethered to you
Safe
I am nothing but flesh and bone yet I am more
I breathe deeper than I ever have
I smile from my soul
I melt beneath your hands
What I am inside is exposed
I am pain
I am lust
I am darkness
I am raw, primal
I am me
And I am Free. |
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Cruel enough...
This is a writing by D. H. LAWRENCE. It is not my own but is one that resonates with me.
Yours is the sullen sorrow,
The disgrace is also mine;
Your love was intense and thorough,
Mine was the love of a growing flower
For the sunshine.
You had the power to explore me,
Blossom me stalk by stalk;
You woke my spirit, you bore me
To consciousness, you gave me the dour
Awareness — then I suffered a balk.
Body to body I could not
Love you, although I would.
We kissed, we kissed though we should not.
You yielded, we threw the last cast,
And it was no good.
You only endured, and it broke
My craftsman's nerve.
No flesh responded to my stroke;
So I failed to give you the last
Fine torture you did deserve.
You are shapely, you are adorned
But opaque and null in the flesh;
Who, had I but pierced with the thorned
Full anguish, perhaps had been cast
In a lovely illuinined mesh
Like a painted window; the best
Fire passed through your flesh,
Undrossed it, and left it blest
In clean new awareness. But now
Who shall take you afresh?
Now who will burn you free
From your body's deadness and dross?
Since the fire has failed in me,
What man will stoop in your flesh to plough
The shrieking cross?
A mute, nearly beautiful thing
Is your face, that fills me with shame
As I see it hardening;
I should have been cruel enough to bring
You through the flame. |
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| Age: 53 |
| Philomath,
Oregon |
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