delicatekittenlu on Collarspace

12/13/2017 3:00:34 AM

I've been laying here in bed for like the past 3 hours and I just keep rolling in my head what if I never find my forever Daddy? What if for some reason I'm not good enough for anybody? I have my husband and I love him to death what we have will never be replaced by by Daddy will never be taken from him by anybody, but I just have a feeling like I'm not completely 100% like something's actually missing in my life. I'm not sure what I'm really looking for I know it has to be at Daddy it has to be a Daddy That'll be there for me. Like this time at night when I can't sleep and thoughts of not ever being good enough pop into my head I can call him and be like Daddy I can't sleep tell him I'm not good enough Daddy help me understand. It's hard to sit here and just think that I'm perfect I'm perfect for someone I know I'm perfect for my husband and he sees me as perfect but I look around on here and on Tumblr at all I find is these tall skinny beautiful Littles. They wear everything that's cute and cuddly and makes you say awe. I try to be cute I try to be cuddly okay I am currently I have enough cuddlist for 100 people, but I can't wear skimpy outfit and thank the Beautiful I don't wear makeup I have scars in places I shouldn't I'm not skinny the only thing I have going for me is that my chest is so big I can't see my feet when I stand up straight but that bothers me too. I'm just lost on why so many people can past someone like me up when my heart is bigger and better than others why can't I be happy like that why can't I have someone that's just going to blow my phone up because they miss me all because I took a nap going to tell me to brush my teeth and get your blanket and your little stuffy it's time for bed or you better sleep princess because if you don't you're getting a spanking I'm keeping track of all these I don't even care if it's long distance the thought that somebody out there wants to give me guidance in order in my life that I can't function properly without this is completely blowing my mind. I just I'm not a sex object I'm not something that you can message and in 2 days I'll be on my knees begging to blow you I have feelings I'm not a slave I am not a sub I am a little / baby girl pet I love being a kitten I love the thought of curling up in your lap and purring for a while until my throat dries up but not the point I'm not into extreme pain I don't want to be tied down flap silly till I'm begging and crying I just want to be held told that you know I'm there for you given guidance giving order giving something to my life that is needed I want to be able to color a picture and surprise you by mailing it to you with a little better and stickers and everything that makes me happy in my little space I have no one I can do that with it's only people who want to just use abuse and leave or using until you know it suits them that they are fulfilled. Just had a realization as I'm typing all this out I am big I'm beautiful and I am me and no one can take that from me but if you can't be nice and have manners then don't message me if you can't sit here and say I want to get to know the you behind your little side don't bother don't message just passed me by. If you can message me and tell me that you want to be the person that I call at 5 a.m. crying because of a nightmare then please message me. This is Ben my little rant by little me the little sensitive side but in the end all anybody ever wants is to feel needed wanted and fulfilled 100%.