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| Under the direction of a kind and experienced Mistress, I am learning how to nurture my wife's dominant side and the serve my Wife as my Mistress.
I am currently under self-imposed chastity, and hoping my Wife will eventually become my key holder.
Thank You Ms A.
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‘Her Moods’
Today is Thursday, June18
The constant rain in NY this month has taken a toll on Her mood, which governs so many things. Hearing Her the blue in Her voice, i begged to take Her to dinner, something we don’t usually have time for during the week. Over dinner, we discussed Her desire for part time rather than full time work, and the possibility of relocating to achieve this. She feels that She needs a change.
She laid on Her stomach with Her head at the foot of the bed to watch television, propping Her feet up on Her pillows. i laid the opposite way, resting my head in one foot, playing with the other. Her feet are so overwhelmingly perfect, it tears me apart. For the next hour i caressed and massaged and worshipped Her feet with my face and hands. My body raced, and i put my hand on Her upper thigh. Annoyed, She told me to move that hand.
i am swelling for Her.
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‘Her Impact‘
Today is Tuesday, June 16
Waiting for Her to wake, anticipating another day in Her service.
Today was started more painfully but quickly transitioned to bliss. The pain i experienced was rooting in exhaustion. This is day six of my chastity, and really what feels like my first true week of serving Her as Her true sub, so my mind has been swimming in Her for six days. The continuous stimulation that has been present was ebbing, and that brought a new, unique pain, i desperately wanted it back. Oddly enough, the only thing i could do was release mentally, to let my mind relax. i stepped in the shower and thought of nothing, just letting the water wash over my head as i allowed my mind to go blank. While i was out calling on one of my doctors yesterday, i met a woman in his waiting room. A latin woman in Her sixties with short blonde hair, a gorgeous red sweater and black sandals. It was impossible not to notice Her freshly pedicured feet, replete with anklet and toe ring. Her red toes wiggling as She constantly changed Her seating and wiggled Her feet about. It occurred to me that although i am my Wife’s property, and thoroughly absorbed in Her, that does not give me immunity from the natural response for arousal caused by another attractive woman. Her feet were dazzling. We talked in passing. I ached not for Her, but for my Wife, as though She were but an archetypal message from my Wife. This natural desire, however, is often enough accompanied by a measure of anxiety.
While my wife was moving about our apartment getting ready for work, i
picked up Her bracelet, anticipating the stage at which She normally puts it on as She prepares for work. She noticed this, stepped into the room and lifted Her arm, not saying a word. I fastened Her bracelet then, in reverence, i lifted Her hand to my lips and kissed the top of Her hand. Five minutes later, as She glossed over Her perfume and lotions tray, She commented that i needed to get Her the perfume that we smelled a few months back at a function we attended together.
This feels so right, the way we are now living. Ironically enough, by focusing on Her entirely, i am feeling more free than i ever have.
We scrubbed the stove together. She criticized me here and there about cleaning this and that, i whimpered inside.
i laid face up at the foot of the bed, She laid along its length and put Her feet on my chest and asked me to use the pumice stone on Her feet. i did so, groaning on the inside as i felt the weight of one of Her feet on my stomach. When i was finished with the pumice stone i took Her feet into my hands and massaged them until She had had enough. I am bursting for Her.
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‘Kissing Her Hand’
Today is Monday, June 15
I made Her bed and made Her coffee.
The start of another busy week.
Watching Her apply cream to Her legs and feet in Her underwear, Her luscious full body teasing me relentlessly.
We ARE entering new level in our relationship.
She held out Her charm bracelet, “put this on,” she COMMANDED me. I immediately came to Her, did as She asked, then raised Her hand to my lips, lowered my head, and kissed Her hand. |
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‘Her’s’
Today is Sunday, June 14
Today She awoke before me and woke me up when She was ready for breakfast. i made Her chocolate chip pancakes, eggs with toast, and coffee, just as She requested, then cleaned everything up for Her afterwards - making sure to keep Her kitchen clean. i readied the coffee maker to make fresh coffee for Her and Her mother tomorrow morning.
I spent hours cleaning for Her today in Her presence, and it was terribly arousing to do so. Although She also cleaned, i enjoyed working hard on tasks that She assigned for me. I cleaned Her glass table thoroughly, vacuumed Her floors, cleaned out Her garbages, folded Her clothes and put them back in Her closet. I cleaned floor tile with Her. I want to do more for Her.
I never imagined the overwhelming feelings that can come from a simple day at home together trying to please Her and satisfy Her completely. All my life, seeing couples do weekend routine maintenance together looked so boring. It was sheer bliss working for Her.
She wore short cargo shorts and a camisol shirt with bare feet. Twice She put one foot up on the bed railing, Her other foot planted on the floor, that authoritative pose making me bite my lip.
Its not bad enough that i want Her, it is that i am realizing that i need Her. That my perspective has changed from believing that things happen randomly to the belief that things have happened for a specific reason. What if She really is opening up to this, and if so, why is that so hard to grasp. Perhaps because it’s beyond my wildest dreams. Since i learned how to masturbate at the age of eighteen i have managed my libido terribly, using my hand to drip away my juices constantly. i did not have real relationships, i had fool around friends and one night stands. She became my second real girlfriend, and after 3 years of being together we were married. It took five years of marriage for me to feel the true significance of marriage- this woman OWNS me. Not the other way around. To expect sex from my wife is selfish, and all wrong for us.
i AM entering into Her chastity. my cock actually stiffened as i wrote that last line. i asked to join Her in the shower today and, thinking that meant sex as it usually does, Her reply was actually ‘then you’ll be useless for the next two days” - exclamation point in my mind with big heavy balls marking the exclamation.
never in my wildest imagination could i believe that this could one day be real.
i am beginning to know that, ironically, my true satisfaction just may be rooted in constantly delaying my own gratification and providing total satisfaction for Her to the limits of my ability.
She DOES own me.
She wore pink pajamas with black polka dots to bed. Her 5’4”,170 pound, full female figure filling Her capri pants and camasol top. She made me squirm with desire.
At last, She let me touch Her. I kissed Her with every ounce of myself. When She flipped me over and began grinding on me i was helpless against Her, ready to explode, so i slid my body down. In a schoolboy pin, She rubbed Herself into my face hard, grinding it passionately. It was ecstasy. She asked me if i’d like to finish, a question i was so grateful to hear from Her lips. So that i could continue to serve Her best, i said no.
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‘Acceptance’
Yesterday was June 13 - a Saturday
I awoke early and was able to serve my Queen the way She deserves to be served.
I started early and worked for the next two hours, thoroughly cleaning Her entire bathroom. After completing cleaning Her bathroom, I went out to buy Her coffee creamer and cabinet hardware to fix the medicine cabinet. When i returned i cleaned out the garbages.
I prepared breakfast for Her, coffee how She likes it, toast with butter and peanut butter how She likes it.
i washed, folded and put clothing back into Her drawers and Her closet.
i groomed my nails because She likes them short.
i filled Her car with gasoline.
i picked up Her prescriptions and movies for Her.
She looked stunning for the bridal shower She was leaving for, wearing white low heel strappy sandals. Her gorgeous feet were so elegantly exposed.
Just holding Her hand in the car sent shivers down my spine.
i am realizing that She accepts me in this form, submissive to Her. I was concerned that would impact our relationship negatively because She would see me as less of a man. That has not happened. The reverse is actually happening. I have more energy for Her than ever, doing more housework than ever, being more attentive to Her than ever. Loving Her more than ever.
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‘An Apology’
My Dearest Wife,
I owe You an apology. Please forgive me for my careless behavior during the past two days. I was inattentive and selfish. Would You like me to make breakfast for You this morning?
[today i will clean the bathroom thoroughly, do the laundry, and complete any other tasks that She wishes]
With Love, Your Husband
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'Grooming myself for Her'
Yesterday was June 12 - a Friday
I contributed little today.
She expressed frustration, and at one point actually used the words “you are never having sex again.”
Ejaculation had brought me days of unwanted freedom. I wanted to ache for Her.
She napped after dinner, and as She slept, I spent fifteen minutes at the foot of the couch smelling and kissing Her gorgeous, pedicured size nine feet.
After falling asleep at ten o’clock, I was stirred from my sleep by a familiar hunger, got up, and in the bathroom i quietly shaved my balls, base of my penis, and the top of my ass, and i trimmed the patch of hair that remained above my penis. I’d never done this before. I thought of Her the whole time and i quivered. i never imagined how great a difference this grooming made - i am now well groomed for Her and i anticipate that this will please Her.
I discovered that i measure five by two. I am researching a new CB made by Birdlocked.
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Yesterday was June 11 - a Thursday
Today I struggled to be productive.
Today I struggled to focus on Her.
Today DID provide a good contrast for Her.
She commented on how She thought I was embellishing when I’d explained how chastity effects my ability to serve Her. At one point She got so irritated that She threatened to keep me chaste for 200 days.
She ended up cooking and cleaning up after dinner.
Her back hurt.
I could not concentrate fully on work today.
I did nothing for Her in the house.
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Yesterday was June 10 - a Wednesday
I am off to a difficult start today. Last night we made love, and for the first time in three days I slept a full eight hours.
I started the day yesterday by attending to all the garbages, then making the bed. I made Her coffee as i do each morning, preparing it the way She likes. Then i went out to make a bank deposit and to buy milk.
During the day I experienced two incredibly powerful daydreams involving my Wife. Each of them involved staring into Her eyes as She used my mouth to satisfy Herself.
I came home with flowers for Her.
For over an hour I cleaned and organized Her dresser and our nightstand as She laid on the bed watching television. I continued cleaning until She told me that She needed me to work on a knot in Her back.
She commented on how attentive i have been.
She laid on Her stomach watching television as I worked the knot in Her back for the next twenty minutes, working a very small area up near Her shoulder blade.
I kissed Her neck gently. Then, She rolled over and kissed me in full, and i gave in to Her completely. It was overwhelming.
After cleaning up, we went to the terrace, and i explained to Her how i was able to give Her such full and complete attention recently, and encouraged Her to leave me without release, for i knew of no other way to deliver such focused devotion to Her. It is Her choice, She can take me when She wants, i am powerless. And should She choose to deny me, She will be extremely well served.
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Yesterday was June 9 - a Tuesday
I did a load of laundry at three in the morning, folded it and put it away. I asked Her what went where, and She answered my questions.
I took out the garbages and emptied the dishwasher.
“You really got a lot done this morning,” She said.
“What is this new found love all about?” She asked.
I had trouble explaining, but said basically that I am learning that it is more satisfying to see Her satisfied than to try to satisfy my needs. I also told Her, in indirect terms, that this kind of my improved behavior cannot coexist with my old behavior- meaning, it is fine that She is ‘satisfied’ as often as we are accustomed (weekly) but it is better if we strive for only once a month for me. We were supposed to talk more about it in the evening, but that did not happen.
I brought home the green tea like She asked, and some fresh sandwiches from lunch to eat for dinner. She did not want them, and I heated other leftovers for Her instead. I cleaned up after dinner.
I’d hoped to give Her a massage before bed. She had other plans: to sort through seasonal clothes. When She has Her mind on a task, Her mind is only on that task.
I fell asleep at 9 PM.
I felt Her go under the covers at 11 PM.
I moved around a bit just to indicate that I was awake, if She needed anything. She told me firmly to stop moving and held my hand. Then She released Her grip on my hand and rested Her arm on top of mine. Keeping the rest of my body immobile, I gently stroked the inside of Her arm (under Her bicep muscle). She allowed it for 10 minutes. My breathing thickened and my loins burned. I wondered if She were aware of how She was making me feel. Wondering if She was allowing me to trace Her skin with my fingertips because She expected and wanted more. Was She doing this to me deliberately or accidentally? Did it matter? I was only trying to figure out what to do next instead of Her having to ask. She lifted Her arm and took my hand. My level of anticipation heightened and stayed peaked for the next five minutes. Was She toying with me? She is so sensitive and intuitive, that I could assume yes just as easily as I could assume no because She was very tired. It is about Her, I reminded myself, and tried to settle my inner squirming. I watched Her fall asleep. |
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Yesterday was June 8, 2009.
I finished cleaning Her closet, laying decorative paper on Her shelves and organizing Her shoes into five groups: wedges, heels, flats, sneakers and sandals. She never thanked me.
I cooked dinner and cleaned. She did not thank me.
We watched The Bachelorette together on the bed, Her gorgeous, full size 9 bare feet with red toenails, up on the bed.
At a commercial break She asked me to please do the laundry tomorrow.
“I like seeing you with your wedding band on,” she said at another commercial break, no doubt a statement on Her ownership. I stared back at Her. Then I kneeled and kissed Her and told Her I loved wearing it.
I asked if I could please massage Her and she allowed me to massage a spot on Her back.
She informed me that nothing would be happening because Her GYN appointment was scheduled for today. I responded by saying yes and letting Her know that I was not in the mood either. I am, however, always in the mood for Her. She admitted that She was in the mood, but she would smell bad for Her visit if ....
Then I kissed Her goodnight and went to sleep, in my thoughts thanking Her for the way She treats me. |
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