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Hetero Female Dominant, 51,  GrandTerrace, California
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I used to be Snow White but I drifted. Mae West

An apt quote for my evolution from good little Catholic school girl to wicked female Dominant. I am a sensual BBW Domina with a soft heart but a firm hand. I am the definition of large and in charge but my dominance is a little more unconventional. I carry several titles...bitch, lover, wife, child, mother, sinner, and saint. My favorite title is Mistress to my collared slave. He is the only one who has permission to call me Mistress as he is my property. I prefer to be called Deba or Domina. I am only seeking friends presently.

The above was the tease and now comes the denial.












 Dominant Female



 5' 8"

 300 lbs






Actively Seeking:


 Lives For:

 Tying you up

 Rear End Play

 Complete control over your orgasms

 You servicing me with your mouth

 Dominating you with a strap-on


 You begging

 You worshiping my body

 You kissing my feet

 Hair Pulling

 Mental Bondage








 Hard Limits:


 Fire Play


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Journal Entries:
1/29/2022 4:33:50 PM

How to find a Female Dominant aka Domme/Mistress? (Helpful hints for male subs)

The first thing you should realize is that it is going to take time. Do not rush it or be inpatient. Dominant women are much sought after and will be very very picky. You have a lot of competition. So, what can you do to make yourself stand out?

Know thyself! What do you need from a D/s relationship? Are you a service sub? Keep an open mind but know your hard limits. If you are new and inexperienced then state you do not know your limits yet. A Dominant will doubt your sincerity if you say you are a no limits sub. Examine what you can offer a FemDom. What skills to you posses?  Are you a good cook? Learn the art of massage perhaps. Have a variety of interests. Be well read. Brush up your conversation skills. Also, your personality and the ability to stimulate a Dominant's mind will get you further than your cock

Appearance is important. You do not have to be an Adonis but take pride in yourself. Be well groomed with clean clothes and good hygiene. Improve your level of fitness. It takes a lot of energy and physical strength to be bound for example. Stand up straight, walk tall, and be proud that you are submissive. 

Devotion and loyalty are a must. You must demonstrate that you can be loyal to HER. You are not hitting on every FemDom in the room. It is incredibly sexy for a man to openly express his devotion especially through body language. Are you standing at her side but looking at others? Being a slut to any FemDom is not respectful. Being her own personal slut alone is perfect.

Have some self-respect. Confidence is sexy. You can be confident and submissive. Who wants someone who thinks they are worthless. Know that you have value! That your submission is a gift that you do not bestow willy nilly. It makes it more special and interesting to the Dominant.

Learn about service. Not sexual service. Be prepared to do things for her that have nothing to do with your kink. Offer to help make life easier for her. Run errands for her. You can clean up her house or mow her lawn without having to be naked or wear a maid's outfit.

Get involved in your local BDSM community. It shows you take the life seriously. You are trying to experience it first hand. Make friends in the community so that you have a support system as well. You may not meet your dream FemDom right away but the friends you make may introduce you to others

Your profile needs to be a representation of you. Remember you never get another chance to make a first impression! Spell check, spell check, and spell check! Punctuation and proper grammar go a long way. Avoid text speak. Be concise but at least a few paragraphs about you as a person (not just as sub). List your main fetishes and dislikes in other words keep it simple. Enough to pique interest but not so much as to bore the Dominant to tears. Quotes that are reflective of you or your beliefs are interesting. A nice picture is worth a thousand words truly. No cock shots. If a Female Dominant wants to see your cock then she will ask.

12/21/2010 7:52:03 PM
Thoughts on submission  (edited)

I will not take it. I will not force it. I can merely accept it’s offering and try to be worthy of it.

I will not force you to your knees. How could I? Your physical strength far surpasses mine. It is a choice you must make each and every time. An honor you bestow on me.

I harbor no illusions that I am superior to you in any way. We are simply two sides of the same coin as in all things. We are opposites and yet so close together as to be inseparable, one from the other.

I have no desire to humiliate you, to bring you down, to belittle or torment you or to remove your pride. I have no desire to break your spirit, achieve mindless obedience, or share your gift with others.

For what you have freely given to me is precious and I treasure it above all else.

I understand that you are a strong man, a capable man. A man full of masculine pride and yet humble. I understand that the deepest and most powerful part of you needs also to be tempered, needs to be surrendered, needs to submit to another and I understand this about you.

Please don’t misunderstand me. I am not all sweetness and sunshine. I want to push you. I want to deny you and use you for my own pleasure. I want you to sweat for me, moan for me, strain for me, and suffer for me even. But, I want you to do it for ME in a way that fulfills and challenges YOU.

Your surrender necessitates that I be first for you in all things. You have made that choice. You choose to please me… to do what I ask of you. The reciprocal is also true, for my first responsibility would be to your care, meeting your needs, and building you then us together.

Ever strengthening, expanding, pushing, but not for its own sake, for growth, for intimacy, for surrender and submission, and for joy.

11/27/2010 10:25:54 AM

I have recently begun asking submissives for their "sub resume" when they contact me wanting to be considered. I have included an example. This is just a sample so please do not copy and paste it back to me. If you have no experience then say so honestly. Please, list online experience as well. Your request for consideration will be taken as seriously as the resume you send. My Dominant resume is available upon request.

First Name

State, Country


2004-2010 Served Lady in Red as her whipping post, primary submissive
2000- 2004 Served Calypso as houseboy and chauffeur
1990 - 2000 Served Lady Jane as her primary submissive. Performed oral service, housework, etc

Skills: Computers, handy man, driver,

Interests: books, gardening, movies, jazz, bondage, strap-on etc

Viewpoint on submission: knight to a Queen etc

References: Lady Jane email address or cellular phone

11/19/2010 3:55:03 PM

A Mistress as defined by Webster...

  • a woman in a position of authority or control
  • a woman who is skilled in a particular type subject or activity
  • female owner of an animal
  • female head of the house
  • a woman having an extramarital affair with a married man

My definition which is the only one that matters: a female Dominant who is the owner of a collared slave (i.e property). Why am I making this point?  Since, I do not have a collared slave, I prefer not to be called Mistress by all and sundry. Only the one I own has the right to call me Mistress. If I do not own you then I am not your Mistress and should *not* be addressed as such. I am not a Goddess either.

Domina is Latin for Lady which is much more fitting for me. The best way to proceed is to call the Dominant by their name or user ID until you are able to ascertain how they prefer to be addressed.

Thus, ends the lesson. Now, the test begins.

11/12/2010 2:36:33 PM

The single most common question in BDSM is "How do I find a
submissive?"… Occasionally, it is spoken with an air of
angry frustration, as if there should be a branch of Subs R Us
on every corner.~ John Warren, Ph.D., in The Loving Dominant

If there really was a "Subs 'R Us" on every corner then the following would be my custom order: single, male, straight, submissive (does not switch), TALL, non-masochistic, local, intelligent, loyal, honest, well-spoken, well-mannered, punctual, keeps his word, between the age of 35-45, with similar interests, and the ability to articulate his thoughts/feelings.

11/12/2010 2:25:47 PM

Sonnet 57 - Shakespeare

Being your slave what should I do but tend
Upon the hours, and times of your desire?
I have no precious time at all to spend;
Nor services to do, till you require.
Nor dare I chide the world without end hour,
Whilst I, my sovereign, watch the clock for you,
Nor think the bitterness of absence sour,
When you have bid your servant once adieu;
Nor dare I question with my jealous thought
Where you may be, or your affairs suppose,
But, like a sad slave, stay and think of nought
Save, where you are, how happy you make those.
So true a fool is love, that in your will,
Though you do anything, he thinks no ill.

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