Well, the back wasn't trying to trick me. However, it did cost me an opportunity to be part of a poly relationship where I would have been the omega sub. That was incredibly annoying but I can't fault the Dom involved -- and it's definitely not my style to postpone and postone and appeart to be playing games. The Dom said that wasn't the reason for my being dropped from consideration and I believe him, still it's annoying for me.

So now I must resume the hunt for the ever-elusive Dom/me with whom I may click.     * sigh *

I finally feel as though my back is almost normal again. Of course, it's fooled me before so I'm being cautiously optimistic but, nonetheless, optimistic.

ABOUT BLOODY TIME!

The back continues to be an incredibly annoying pain (pun intended). It's very frustrating and I'm not at all happy about it. The upside (if you can call it that) is that I'm wearing this corset-like back brace type thingie so I am getting a kind of bondage.

So, I was negotiating with what turned out to be another shady potential partner and confronted them, meeting with a deafening silence in return. Another one bites the dust. However, I am in touch with a couple who appear to be very promising and real. Now, if I can just get this stupid back working properly maybe we can actually meet and, if the "chemistry" is right, get to work on training and service. I've had to postpone our initial meeting since I can barely walk, so it's frustrating. Oh well, this too shall pass ...

A bientot.

A word to the wise: If you're ever presented with the opportunity of falling off a stepladder and bouncing off your living room table in an imitation of a football crackback: DO NOT take it. It hurts like hell (and not in a good way) and in all likelihood you will have a great deal of difficulty walking or doing really mundane things, like rolling over in bed.

TRUST ME on this.

This has been a public service announcement from this station and the World Klutzes Association.

Woo-Hoo! I uncovered my first scammer. I'm not going to go into details but I will say to all: Maintain a healthy skepticism and if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

So some folks are wondering what my "very few hard limits" consist of. Well, I have an elaborate and very detailed list to avoid any misunderstanding because I'm one of those "attention to detail" kinda guys but a long list is a big turnoff to most folks, so it can be boiled down to the following:

Don't kill me, permanently disfigure or disable me, no animals, no children, nothing illegal, no shit, no vomit, no drugs and no diseases or potential infections. After that anything, and I do mean anything, goes.

There are some things, obviously I like more than others but that's really not my choice, is it.

And I do want, need, to have my limits tested and stretched.

A somewhat edited, unsolicited response I sent to a Dominante wondering about why so many male subs seem to be interested in chastity and chastity devices: 

I found your musings on the possible personal origins of slave chastity from the slave’s point of view very interesting. I’m always interested in what Dominant(e)s think, partly because I’m a natural seeker and collector of knowledge (it makes me a killer “Trivial Pursuit” player but I'm sure one day my brain will fill up) but also because I believe any insights into the various thoughts of different Dominant(e)s helps to make me a better slave. One never knows when the knowledge can be applied or be useful. 

In my own case it’s certainly not because I am inexperienced or unskilled in fully satisfying my Dominant(e)s (I’m not boasting, merely stating a fact based on observation and feedback). It is partly because of feelings of inadequacy because I know I’m underendowed in the package department. 

I believe sexual denial is a form of service and a chance to demonstrate devotion and commitment to my Dominant(e)s but, as you point out, it has to be on their terms. I’ve found the more self-assured the Dominant(e) is, the more comfortable they are with setting out the terms and conditions of my chastity and when I may or may not be treated to an orgasm. 

I also think this applies, to a certain extent, in the use of chastity devices such as my CB 2000 and all the others. Sometimes I think it stems from the Dominant(e)’s insecurity with their role, either because they’re new to the role or they may have trust issues (real or perceived) with the sub/slave; or the Dominant(e) just likes the idea of locking up the most obvious physical aspect of a male’s sexuality. The other reason I’ve found is that they use it as a sign of their Dominance in a public setting (at a private or public play party, when they have friends over or go to a friend’s place, etc.) Some Dominant(e)s seem to use it as part of the breaking down process, prior to a rebuilding or remoulding. 

Anyway,those are my thoughts from the other end of the flogger.

Now this is decidedly new for me but since I've taken as many precautions as I believe I reasonably can, I think it's safe to assume I won't be used as a cover identity for a fleeing African dictator. I have always considered myself a submissive-masochist, believing those who identify as "slaves" are a bit odd but chacun a son gout (can you do accents on here - ah, never mind). Well, guess what: a recent dialogue and some self-examination have led me to believe I'm one of those odd folks. Go figure. Still an extreme painslut but now a slave-painslut. So, while being owned, with all that entails, is an ultimate goal, I'm not ruling out top/bottom or Dominant(e)/submissive relationship 'til the right one comes along.