Hmmm...okay, this is my first journal...i don't know where to begin.  I guess i realized last night, not that i did not already know, but the world is not black or white, so many shades of grey.  Okay, i know how can your be 36 and just figuring that out, but sometimes you just need it to hit you across the face to remind you.  There is no actual right or wrong...good or bad....moral or amoral.  It is all subjective...so do i feel guilty, yes...is it unbearable, no....i surprised myself and it felt good.  So, i guess i am both disappointed and proud of myself....told you....GREY