daddysshadow on Collarspace

12/11/2011 12:15:03 AM

TOTAL POWER EXCHANGE

the original picture was a women in a wedding dress

crawling down an aisle on a leash

What is TPE many would look at the picture above and totally freak thinking this woman is totally degrading to her sex. I look at her and see the total freedom to be what she is a woman, a female not enslaved by the boundaries of societal norms. Within the BDSM lifestyle TPE is seen much the same way it breaks the norms. We are taught from the day we enter to have safe words, that everything is to be negotiated, to have safe calls and escape plans. We are taught that we can always walk out and that our wants and needs come first. The first thing Total Power exchange does is throw all that away …. No safety nets , no escapes, no safe words. The TPE lifestyle is not for a few hours or a day or two or even a month it is a lifetime commitment ….till death do us part. If I were to leave Master would just come and bring me back. I am his for forever and always that simple.

The submissive cannot leave the relationship.
She has given herself to her Dom, and handed over also the power to end a relationship. And since they are committing for life, there are really no way out for the submissive. She cannot leave.

This is one of the parts that makes most people cringe when they are talking about a TPE relationship. Their argument "you can leave if you want to", is of course valid in the sense that I can walk out the door if I should be stricken by insanity. However, Leo would come after me and bring me home. That is his right. Most TPE couples create an environment where practical actions support this "unable to leave" decision that the couples made when they entered their relationship.

In our case there are a couple of things. I do not have a job outside our home. Consequently I do not have any money of my own. When I need money for some reason, I have to ask Leo for them, and he will give them to me. If I get change after my purchase, I am to give that back to him. I don’t have a car, so I can’t go anywhere other than by foot, and there is no public transportation around. So even if I should suddenly turn insane and would want to leave, that would be very difficult.

I know that for most people this sounds like prison. But what you must have in mind, is that it is a prison that I want to be in. The practical issues are there to support that wish, - for both of us. I think of this as a mindset that I share with other very committed people like nuns and monks. (the comparison ends there! LOL). I have found that over time the thought of leaving becomes more and more distant. It is simply not an issue. Just like any other property of Leo’s I am just here. Just as his car cannot drive off on its own, I cannot walk out of Leo’s control.

Missy

Another term used for TPE is consensual slavery which I have written much on. First off the terms are an oxymoron as consensual means freely given and slavery is something forced upon. What is meant by consensual slavery is that the slave has agreed to give the Master control over her life. The one difference I do see though is that the slave is usually in a contract for a specific time or has the option to beg release at anytime from the collar this does not exist in TPE.

There is a huge amount of trust involved, it is not easy to hand your life to someone and say “here, take this and look after it” At the same time, there is an equally huge responsibility on the Dominant, who now has another human being’s life to take care of.

Unknown

Trust has been a huge issue for me and has been one of the reasons that it has taken me 4 years as a slave to be in the place where I can finally look at Total Power Exchange. One must be able to trust there owner in ALL areas of their life. In childhood memories whether painful or good one must now realize they belong to Master and trust that He will be there for You when they threaten to consume you. You must be able to share the fears and anger and joys and terror from childhood with Master so that He can understand and predict how His slave will respond at all times. If anything is hidden then Master will not be able to do His job. TPE means total nakedness at all times body, mind soul.

Trust when you are totally bound Master has a knife at your throat and you cannot use a safe word nor would He honour it if you did. That takes trust. Or You are deep throating and His hand goes over your nose blocking off the air and you know He owns your very life this is Total Power Exchange and all you do is love Him more.

Just a little bit of trust between slave and Master.

Trust also comes in other areas like finances and well being. It is Masters responsibility to make sure the house is run well. It is the slaves responsibility to follow Masters orders even if she does not understand them..

Sometimes TPE can be about micromanaging, choosing the clothing the food, the friends, every detail of the slaves life. Other Masters prefer to allow their slave to make choices but it is always with the knowledge that that may be taken from them at anytime. I had one Master would allow me to choose what to wear and then decide He wanted something else and so would tell me to change and go into the bedroom and He would select what He wanted me to wear. Imagine not worrying about what to wear or cook or have done because you are not sure if it is going to be pleasing to your Master but knowing exactly what to wear, cook and chores to have done and knowing that Master is going to be pleased, to me that is such freedom from worry and stress. And if Master has given His slave the choice that day then knowing that He will be pleased also as He has left it up to His property.

The slave enters the room anger seething inside of her, my responses those of a wounded animal. Do i have the right to respond this way or should i as the slave I am only show blind allegiance and trust in my Owner. The rights of a slave....do I have any...no .... so what are my options when dealing with the emotions that come naturally to a slave

The first part of this i want to deal with the fact that no matter how hard a slave may try to fight the anger or the rage or even the extreme highs of her life waiting for the lows she is first and foremost a slave. The slave will strive to the best of her ability to remain in control of herself but often fails at this.... that is part of the journey, the living of this thing called life. Because a slave tries to be pleasing and obedient when they do lose control it is difficult to regain it ..... it like her slavery consumes her. A slave is very passionate . In Total Power Exchange the control goes to the point that a slave only has the right to feel the way her Owner has allowed her to feel. Is this practical, no, but it is a goal i as a slave must strive for.

Up to this point I have spoken on TPE from the viewpoint of the slave mostly because that is the position that I am qualified to come from. The Master in the TPE relationship must be a strong man, a dominant man, sure of Himself and confident of His place in society and His ability to know His slave well. In my opinion for the relationship to work He must be loving, caring, understanding but also demanding and have the strength to attain whatever He desires. There is a quote that I love.

It is a beautiful moment when the woman realizes that the man who owns her is her love master, and the man realizes that the girl he bought, looking up at him, tears in her eyes, is his love slave. Then the only danger is that he will weaken. One must be strong with a love slave. If one truly loves her, he will be that strong. The slavery in which a love slave is kept is an unusually deep slavery." “ Slavegirl of Gor”

When the Master enters a TPE relationship He takes on the responsibility for the total well being of His slave, spiritual, physical, mental and emotional. He possesses her and she desires to be His possession this is something that most people do not understand …. I repeat ….she desires to be His possession. A good Master will push His slave to show her that she is strong unlike societies idea that she is a doormat. She will learn everything she needs to please Him and then she will find out that what she thought were her limits are not. A good Master gives His slave self esteem and lets her know she is beautiful both inside and out. He knows when to discipline and when to caress.

The Master learns His slave so well that He knows her every desire, her needs, her passions, her dreams, and then He gives what He deems best for His slave and she must trust His decision unconditionally. Often it is not what she thinks she wants but what Master knows she needs. It has been my experience in the past that things have been chosen for me to do that I would never have done on my own, in fact there was no way that I wanted to do them and yet at the end of the time I came out much healthier and better off.

Another thing is TPE is for life so if a Master starts out with a healthy slave and as time passes and her health fails does He just throw her away as in many D/s relationships I have seen … no … that is part of the commitment to each other nor does the slave leave her Master if all of a sudden life changes and things are not as good as they were. It is a commitment for the good and the bad.

His slaves body is His to enjoy and feel, her heart His to caress and she becomes His true possession the same as his car or house and a part of who He is. He will always look to what is best for His slave and not demand more than what she is able to give, even though He has the right to ask whatever He desires of her. A true Master lives by the code of honour and respect and in this slaves humble opinion only a true Master has the right to be in a Total Power Exchange relationship. The slaves commitment to her Master is not through the vehicle of punishment and fear but through love and respect because He has allowed her to flourish like a rose.

I believe that in conclusion the TPE relationship is best expressed in a poem I wrote several years ago

FREEDOM

Softly smiles, taking the chain and moving towards the center of the garden, surrounded by its beauty.

Places the chain in a circle steps inside of it and kneels head bowed tight to knees

hands grasping body, becoming small feeling the bells on her ankle, a gift, *

Heart beating rapidly, soul ensnared in the chains, arms wound tight in the chain,

struggling to get free to soar as a free spirit,

the chains most would call freedom each link representing societies norms,

struggling beneath its heaviness heart thudding breathing rapid trying to get free*

Falling to the ground fighting with the chain and removes a small piece from her body,

The slave has released the bondage of self will

struggling valiantly with it as it tries to move back in and take over

Feeling another section release the hand now free, quietly whispers goodbye to sexual inhibitions,

freed at last to be herself,

the weight of the chain getting lighter*

Hearing a soothing music in the background

speaking to the soul encouraging the fight,

rising body swaying struggling fighting hard to release the next chain

the one around the neck strangling

reaches up and pulls on the chain tightening

one last pull and it releases,

the bondage of fear is gone,

still the chain wraps around the legs, the body*

Searching the soul. music soothing calling to the greater fight

struggling with the bondage of free choice

knowing it has dragged her to the depths of despair. Heart thudding as fighting this demon,

moving , swaying high and low

the tempo of the music increasing

writhing in a frenzy of torment

finally flinging the links off of her body

free at last, or so she thinks till she tries to move forward*

Falling to the ground

tears coming to her eyes,

fighting with the last of her will the bondage of belonging to society,

The soul caught up in the struggle,

pulling and tugging at the chain,

it wont budge,

tears flowing freely down the slaves face,

trying to move but cannot,

fear returns catching her hand in its grip.

Master she cries out drawing strength from Him.

Flings the chain from her body,

freedom bought with many struggle*

Flying from the chain running hard to the trees

hiding from the call to return to bondage

beginning to see hope, finding new freedom

moving gracefully around the garden

Stops hearing the chain calling to her echoing from her past,

creeps towards it being drawn

picks up a link fear

quickly drops it not wanting to go back

heart thudding seeing another link

soul wanting to welcome it to entangle her once more, dropping the chain and moving swiftly away from it, hearing the echo of her Masters voice

the jingle of the bells on her ankle reminding her of her freedom

once more dancing*

Soul stronger now, once more moves to the chain, picks it up and dances,

no longer binding her,

freedom in her bondage,

spins the chain flowing out from the slave

its fingers no longer clinging and drowning the spirit moving around the garden ,

caressing the chain,

gracefully falling to knees

holding the chain across outstretched arms offering them to Master*

feeling them fall

To me this is what Total Power Exchange is all about .