This day is done. I am tapping out. Take your Thursday and place it in the past.

I am not one to be pushy without reason. But to top from the bottom is one of the dumbest things to do. Why say you are a sub then try to call the shots?  Where is the enjoyment in that?  To give yourself over to the one that controls you is the most liberating thing you will ever do. So just fucking chill and let it happen. Control is all just an illusion anyways.

Somedays just fly by and others crawl. Was called off of work so just been a lazy day. Reading and talking with Daddy. Time to get out and walk the dog enjoy the cooling weather and watch the leaves change color. Fall is one of the best times of year. Well the fire wiped out a lot but there is beauty to be found even inside the destruction.  Always look for the beauty. 

It has to happen every week. Flipping Mondays. Want to know if there is a redo or start over button. I know there is a a mulligan,  I will just pretend it is a game of golf. Lol. Start off pleasing my Daddy and then one wrong word and it all can go to shit. I am gonna be punished for a slip of the tongue. I know it is no less than I deserve. But still me being a dumbass is not the smartest thing I could have done today. I will take my punishment with as few tears as possible and beg for more to prove myself. I love you,  Daddy

It is a lazy Sunday.  The wind is lightly blowing and the sun is out. Time for some yard work. The leaves are changed color and falling to the ground. And the darn squirrel loves to throw things at the dogs. Lol. Definitely ferocious enemies there. We shall see who wins in the end but pretty sure it will be the cat. The cat always wins in the end. He plays both sides of the fence. :) blessed be day.   .

I don't want to be a bad girl just a naughty one. Just a little tease for role playing. Mmmm just have to wait for the big bad Daddy to catch me now * giggle

Oh my golly has it been a long Friday.  So glad I am finally home and can put my feet up. May everyone have a sex crazed weekend or otherwise have a good one to chill. Peace

You know it is funny. I do not write these journals for anyone. The only person that I assumed read them was Daddy,  so he could judge what kind of head space I was in. But I found out differently.  I would like to thank (blank) for the advice on how to get rid of my headache. I appreciate it and you need not close yourself off from us. We never asked you to leave. On a different note, So happy that tomorrow is Friday. Woot woot. Get to relax and watch some football. Time to curl up with a book by the fire and wait for Daddy.  :) 

Headache again. Ready to scream. I need some Daddy relief, stat!  Start with a nice paddling end with some bruising. Mmmm perfect headache releaser .

Ugh I have a headache that just won't quit. Feels just like a knife is plunging in right above my eye.  So I don't expect much when I log on tonight. But lo and behold. Daddy has had a couple of awesome conversations with some  pretty cool people. Definitely made my day. Love new friendships. That is how the world goes round. Yay to new friendships . May they blossom into something more. :)

When you walk your path you hope to find someone to share your journey with. Sometimes there is a false trail(s) you may follow but every once in a while the path leads you to heaven. When you find that connection with another some want to share that with others and give hope that they to may find their heaven. To freely share the love that is inside you should be a beautiful thing and greatly accepted.  To many are scared though and shun what they do not understand.  To those I wish harmony on them as peace can be as fleeting as the clouds that drift in the sky.

So when you go along and think everything is ok and you get side swiped it shocks you. Why can't the hits just stop.  First one then another. But you know what. Fuck it. It is what it is and whatever comes I just have to be. The learning to accept is going to be an interesting journey.  Rather just have my body beat than my mind.....

Are you kidding me?  Talk about a ball coming out of left field and getting hit in the head. This is bs. Fuck it!

It was a relaxing day today. Had the day off and was able to spend it in contact with my Daddy.  Love the days I can masterbate on the phone with him while he is at work. Such a turn on to be a tease for him. I pay the piper when I see him next though. I truely do not mind. I love to be of service to him. To be used and abused anyway he so desires. Mmmm getting excited just thinking about it.  

The best part of the day was my Daddy.  Otherwise this was just a mid week speed bump. Daddy is still looking for playmates for me. Yay for that. One lucky slut that my Daddy likes to share me. :) 

Grrrr. I really need to learn how not to push buttons. It is not that I do it on purpose per say just changing gears from public  to private life isn't as automatic as needed/wanted. The headstrong woman clashes at times with Daddy's  cumslut. So starting today I will try to keep a civil non bitchy tongue in my mouth so I don't make Daddy cranky. Thank you Daddy for my lesson. 

Monday Monday.  So glad you are over. I had the best surprise for me today though so happy you stuck around for a while. Lol. I am away from my Daddy and do not get to see him often during the week. Which makes it hard on everyone. So when I got home today from work Daddy had sent me several vivid messages detailing in picture perfect quality exactly what he would be doing to me next time we meet. This man gives me goosebumps and makes every part of me pulse. That he knows me so well  continues to amaze and disarm me at every turn. From the looks he gives to the timber of his voice and the way his body covers mine. Makes this girl one satisfied cumslut..

It came to me in a dream last night. I finally know why she left.  You listen but do not hear. She tried to explain what was happening but was brushed aside. The darkness that you were supposed to journey together did not happen.  You took her so far and just deserted her there. So as I lie here spread eagle on the marble slab. I wait in anticipation for the brush of your fingertips or the sting of your palm. The pain of loneliness ebbs away as you break me down as you never broke her down. And I cry for all that you have given me and all that you will give me. ... .

The darkness that overcomes your soul may eat you alive. To know how to survive is not necessarily taught but an ingrained piece of survival.  To be hurt so brutally and with no thought to feelings shreds your heart to pieces.  But like the Phoenix you too may rise up from the asses and continue on again." Why does he do this?" you ask yourself as you lay in the corner. What you do not know is that he plans to rebuild you as he wishes.  Your only mission in life is to serve your one true master. Once again the pain is only given out of love and desire.  Pretty dark place on this day.... may the light at the end of the tunnel not be a train.........

Mondays are exhausting for me and Daddy was nice enough to give me a pass for yesterday but 2 days in a row would be trouble. I wonder how most people decide this is what they want or how they want to live their lives. I grew up in a very controlling household.  It was acceptable to walk around partially clothed and there was always magazines/pornographic books around my house.  I can remember my first book I read it was Hot Pants Orphan. I think I was 10 or 11.  Now I tried to live a " normal" life with  my husband but that was doomed from the beginning.  Something about the structure of the Dominant male household that I needed/wanted.  Now years later I have finally come home full circle to a place where my so called kinks  and desires are met and encouraged.  To truly be free you must embrace all that you are and all that you will be.  I LOVE YOU DADDY.  :)

Mmmm I love Sundays. Sleeping in after a session with Daddy is always nice . Tomorrow is another day. Wish all my days could be spent pleasing him. The joy of being my Daddy's cumslut always puts a smile on my face. :)