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DaSadistCo

DasAdderly


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	cc and I have been active in the local community for over 10 years. We ran the Western Mass. Power Exchange for about 5 years before deciding to step down and let new blood run the group. We are both still quite active in the community. One of the things that I have seen in the last few years that makes me happy is the number of groups who have stopped fighting and become allies. A few years ago at a munch for community leaders, John Warren was speaking to the group and said that "when you are in a lifeboat in the middle of the ocean, the only one who wins by throwing people overboard is the sharks". That has stuck with me. We do things that have limited public support. So when groups or individuals are ready to write each other off, the community fractures a little more. Without unity, we are all easy pickings. Prior to 1969, the government and police in particular, spent a lot of resources closing down places where gay and other "deviant" behavior took place. This included bars, bath houses, private clubs, and S&M organizations. Then the police raided the Stonewall Inn. what followed became know as the Stonewall Riots. To be fair, there had been other acts of rebellion that occurred prior to this, and the fetish community was beginning to boil under the oppression. But this time things were different. The Stonewall Inn catered to black and Hispanic cross dressers. The riots that ensured saw the police going after not only cross dressers, but also butch lesbians, effeminate males, and in at least one case a heterosexual man who happened to be passing through. It demonstrated that the police raids were not just a gay issue, but a human rights issue. It galvanized the gay community and lead to the gay rights movement. Why am I saying this on collarme? Well part of the gay rights movement was the leathermen (also referred to as Old Guard), they fought for not just gay rights, but sexual freedom. The ability to openly practice S&M activities is directly tied into the Stonewall riots. We have them because a fractured community who had thought only to protect their own realized that they were protecting no one by doing that. We in the modern BDSM community could stand to learn from their example.

2/18/2008 2:46:17 PM

Submission is a gift. Not like a Christmas or birthday gift, but rather like being able to play piano or sing. It is a talent. If the talent is trained and focused, it becomes a wonder for all who see and hear it. If it is not, it will fade through disuse. That is where the synergy of a Dominant and submissive relationship comes into play. An ad tells me nothing of who you are or what it is you seek in trying to develop your talents. Where did your interest in the lifestyle begin? What have your past relationships been like (Vanilla or otherwise)? What experiences have you had? What would you like to see if I put a magic mirror in front of you that saw ten years into the future? (Try to avoid the clique's of "Happy with the one" it is a poor use of your talent, you can do better.) When you think of the one who will train your talents, what qualities do you want to see in him/her? Is it enough to be able to hold a paddle on the right end and bark an order? Or do you need something more? Maybe someone who knows what you seek is immersion in the lifestyle, to feel small and insignificant, and yet powerful. Like the moment when you stand in the water up to your neck knowing you can barely reach the bottom. You turn and see a big wave coming at you too fast to avoid. There is the moment of realization, followed by a panicked search for a way to escape only to come to the conclusion there is none and it is time to accept what is to come. When the wave has passed and you have survived, you realize you are able to deal with the waves. Bring them on!!! They are nothing!!! Until the next large wave appears in the distance and you begin the cycle all over again. This is what a good Dominant submissive relationship should feel like: Scary, immense, frightening, but ultimately empowering. After all, isn’t swimming a talent? Or maybe I read you wrong. Only you know for sure. DaSade and his talented swimmer cc

2/10/2004 5:42:26 AM

I have had several inquiries in the past about the nature of my relationship with my wife. The problem is not the relationship, but rather how Collarme handles their profiles. When you register your account, you choose between Male, Female, Couple, or Transsexual. Ok, I am part of a couple. The next step is to choose Profile type. You are given choices of Slave (Fits my wife, but not me), Submissive (also fits my wife, but not me), Dominant (fits me, but not my wife), or switch (Fits neither of us). My wife and I happen to both be Caucasian, however if we were a mixed race couple, there would be no way to relay this information when setting up the ad. My wife is 25, I am 37. Again, no way to relay this information through the choices. So I pick one of us to have the ad be more reflective of. Then what shows up in the list of recent users online is "Couple, 37, Dominant”. Collarme can fix this in several ways. I would love to see a better descriptive way of describing us... A Top/Bottom or Master/Slave category maybe. Or better yet, both. The other option is a database change to have separate information for both persons in a couple with corresponding increases in complexity (i.e. database crash opportunities) and cost overhead to maintain the larger database. All of these options would be nice, and I am sure there are a thousand other little tweaks that could be done to the sight. I know, because the people that run Collarme are continually making improvements. Bottom line is this is a free site (read labor of love) on the part of some unknown individual or group of individuals who have donated generously of time and money to set up one of the best sites of its kind on the net, and charged us nothing to use it. These people do not get nearly enough praise for what they do. So if a profile is not 100% accurate at a glance, that is cool with me. Sure it means I get a lot of questions about the nature of our relationship. "Do you take male submissives?" "Are you a both Doms, or do you switch?" I am a TV/CD/Trans looking for someone to train me." "Let me worship you Goddess" I have gotten all of these in the past, and a lot more that either are reflected in those or not fit to repeat. These are not annoying. These are opportunities to meet new people. Some I can help find groups or people who are better suited for what they are looking for. Others I carry on long correspondence with. Some, I am not sure how to handle, but make me laugh. Like the person how cut and pasted "Fuck me" hundreds of times in their message, with the exception of the last word, which was "Please". Don't think I will ever stop finding the humor in that one.

12/18/2003 5:33:10 AM

I have been in the lifestyle since 1988 when I discovered what I came to call my "voice". I have been exploring the physical, mental, and philosophy of D&s/BDSM. I tend to find my lessons in less traditional areas (The best Dominant training guide ever written was Sun Tzu's Art of War), so my style tends to be different from most. I met my wife/slave in 1997 a month after her 19th birthday. She has been training from the first day we met, and are quite happy with each other. We are very open and out there with our lifestyle. I know that not everyone is comfortable with being out, but we can't see living any other way.

11/11/2003 9:54:53 AM

I have received several questions about the "Art of War". The version I like can be found at any bookstore translated by Thomas Cleary. It has a lot of historical perspective and commentary. The book itself is over 2000 years old and has several online versions you can read or download. The trick with the Art of War is to think in terms of training, and how the writings can be applied.