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dom51
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.Life long vintage fetishist,with a home in costa rica.. unattatched, traveling light. rising from the ashes in Phoenix for now.. I am keen on leather rubber fur, bondage gears, and all the provocative fashions. gender barriers swept away, androgenous to ultra- femme all points in between to suit the suitation. rubber doll, leather bitch,bondage puppet. pet.ponygirl... not all that sissy, motorbiking in costa rica doesnt allow much of that. .
My fate seems cast to the wind at this point. i go where this winding trail leads.
since there's nothing going on in my fetish life, i'm putting together " Jenny Cash Show- creating a crossdresstern legend ..stay tuned for that hayride.
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swell, Jenny Cash Show is getting in some licks.. crossdrestern american goth-hick tunes. sour grapes of wrath from the carcass of whats left of america. gospel for the god forsaken shitholes stuck next to the toxic waste dumps, open pit mines, clear cut forests and amber waves of genetically waving grain. united we stand (-in line) united we fall-( into deeper madness.)
land of the fee, home of the slave.
from sea to shining debris..
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since there is nothing going on in my fetish life, i decided to whip up some bandmates and am having some fun with my new incarnation -Jenny Cash.. its crossdrestern , got a fetish flavor to it.and the bands i get to play around with are smokin. setting up for more live and polished up..
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things nudge along here in the desert/city.. steady hot now. 108 degrees...take cover..
I'm on quite a few groups and sites, and have appreciated the supportive communiques. One of these days i will meet my match...
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and meanwhile there are far more serious issues in the world, big adjustments every step of the way...uncertainties ,as i feel my way along. take a deep breath as we plunge to where ever this is going to go. during the course of my day i , do some homework..enough to make me want to retreat back to my little fanciful world ..
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so i got all leathered up and peddled around the gay pride parade this week... very uplifting, its fun to see gay cowboys , gay indians, latinos, young students, look out for the roller derby girls and bikers!..and lest we forget old grey mares like me, who got plenty of positive strokes- as i peddled my tight leather ass around ,nipple rings dancing in the sun..but by afternoon it was very hot and i was done for..found a bunch of nice leather deals this week.. boots , short tight skirt and jacket.. yum..
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well, i did score some really sweet leather this week.. 5 pairs of really nice gloves for 5 bucks a pair..perfect skin tight pants for 10.. 2 pairs of boots for 60.. nobody here to appreciate it but me ..sigh..
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But largely i am frustrated , remain a loner, cant get my desires and realities to fit together. which seems a shame..
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Boy howdy.. I knew things were on the verge of collapse years ago, and set up my escape pod in Costa Rica, but I still am stunned at how this situation plummets into the murky deep..
my only smart ass resonse to watching the rats jump ship as the usa sinks is -at least i know how to swim..
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I reconnected with some pony players and had an interesting day. There was a charming old whipmaster who i let practice on me with his single tailed.
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I spent some more time looking through collarme, just out of curiosity.. Im convinced I am headed in the right direction, more certain I am presenting my own sexuality not some preconceived notion... I
feel balanced and centered. male and female integrated.
I still cant get as neurotic as alot of you about passability as I really dont care what anyone thinks anymore. I have a nice collection of utra-femme outfits, I have lots of leather to pick from ..I get responses from sissies and subs, from doms and dommes. from the tv ts and tgs..,big leather guys, and i find you all interesting.. siempre libertad!
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maybe time to review my intent..the elusive lifestyle couple.. a loving genuine relationship , i am not a slut. i dont need a sugar daddy really.
Ive gone without a lover for years, I realize that i may present a rather hard to define package .. thats the plus and minus of the type of fluid switch i am. I have no gender barriers... i dont have preconceived notions of who i need to be with.. ..its just going to be ..supernatural ... sincerely DHotKiss
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dispatch from costa rica..other tidbits..i once worked in a hospice for children..i also worked in a still mill. I had a drink with abbie hoffman, ran my hand the lenght of john lenons rolls...i was owned by diana savage.in an indie film...speak some spanish..saw 5 ufos this year...can play a saxaphone...know who jango rhinehart is..i have a crush on emma peel...my first wife was mohawk,i have many apache and navajo pals...
Its just a bucket of late night stuffs..on the femme side? i always stay smooth, nails done...eyebrows shaped..im letting my hair grow out..Women i admire..joan de arc..cha-cha muldowney. amilia airhart. down the musical list..etta james, diana crawl, annie lennox,pink,geraldine fibbers,liz phair,mazzy star, LZ .rasputina..
where would i love to shop..china catfish fetishwear..funny name but what nice affordable outfits.. try extravaganza for boots..j.t. stockroom for gear...ok boys and girls..the wine is gone.. states in a week. at least bush is gone.. ...
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whats so domme about me? i worked 4 years in a locked mental ward and did take-downs and restraints all day long..pysch evals in the 100´s..behavior modification..confronted level 3 sex offenders..murders.. 20 years at it out in the community.. so i talk the talk and walk the walk..in high heeled boots..see you in arizona ...D
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wasnt daydreaming yesterday, i layered myself with rubber and leather..gas mask..and self bondages pursued..
i understand the frustration with collarme, its like the other sites, the guys all seem to be the same. 20,000 contacts and one year later, not one even followed through. I gave up on looking for eloquence..sigh.
today..just another dispatch from the hills.
i´ll pull in to a little bar for a beer and theres shirtless guys with machetes..but everybodys nice..the natural beauty is stunning all the time. . pura vida yall.
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In further flights of fancy,i´m already there on the back of your bike, headed home. What have we been up to? some coffee and lively debate on the cause of ww111..wander round the swap meet, let me check the thrift store. Got stuff you need to do, i tag along well. Maybe stop by the blues club (i play a mean harmonica ) have a stout. But really lets go home and play around. I try not to be grandiose, but theres something in me you dont generally find, just due to life experiences. Theres clouds in my crystal ball now but in the near future i will become the quintessential tg leather biker queen of the planet. (so much for not being grandiose eh?) I know it smacks of vanity, but this is my compulsion. living in leather ,mature fetish femme fatale, vacation at my place in costa rica, swing to your spot otherwise... sounds good to me anyway. I dont care if youre in a motorhome in the west, a cabin up north, a warehouse back east or a boat down south., my haven is at the end of your leash,not groveling at your feet, but proudly at your side. I daydream now, being caged, under lock and key, blindfolded, tube gag locked in place, armbinder too. Im collared,corseted,in my thigh high boots and catsuit.hobbled.,helpless. yours.
But night falls in the mountains, daydreams go dim. so i occupy my time with little games..like a favorites list..
Villian- Lee Marvin...
Hot Chick-7 of 9...
Pirate-Robert Newton...
Hero-Gary Cooper...
General-Patton...
Director-Scorsesse...
Sidekick-Walter Brennan...
Musician -Tom Waits...
Elder Statesman-Ben Franklin...
Artist- Dali...
Architect-Gaudi...
Philosopher-Lao Tzu...
Machete-Tramontina...
Magazine-Secret...
Cowboy-Sam Elliot...
Bimbo-Lisa Douglas from green acres...
Who do i miss? Johnny Cash,James Brown, ...
Who sucks? Kevin Costner, Tom Cruise...
Whos cool?Christopher Walken and Tina Fey...
By the way, im a Virgo, of Scottish ancestory, Hotchkiss made cannons, machine guns, tanks and cars in France. Grandad was in the Argone Forest.
so..thats all for this dispatch. Survived the big earthquake..
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I seem to be in a holding pattern for now, for those who are responding , thank you, the encouragement means alot. I dont know where you are baby, but Im lookin for you.
I look out over the Talamanca Mtns, and try to imagine where this quest is going to lead.
Theres something in amongst my wreckage I need to find.
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took the bike to the panama border to get a visa stamp thru the backcountry to san vito
that was a long day of riding , but all went well. i got alot of ideas about my new incarnation ahead. a little crew of helpers on hand stay tuned..
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ride back home from the internet outpost in tranquil Pejibaye..the 225 yamaha works good here.
so back up in the mtns,, thinking about a sort of viggo mortensen cowboy character like from hildalgo..he was a great pirate too in capt.aritriste ..
Cowboy, biker, pirate..yep i got spurs and chaps , Drakes Bay is 20 miles to the south.
my sword is handmade..and in my saddlebags theres a make-up kit ,bondage gears and a german stilletto. no frilly maids outfit.try the sissy dept.
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my experience..more quality than quanity.I´d really like to get more in depth with what ive sampled..Im keen on being a new incarnation of sex object de arte, surrealistic fetish pet. bondage victim. kept hogtied and locked away .draped around the house..double d breast forms ,heavy make up. packed in leather..hobbled ,helpless.caged. hooded gagged collared.trimmed with fur.
I need a steady supply of this,so im sticking with the ltr lifestyle goal, and figure creating this little world is going to take some effort to create...more is never enough is it?
I dont know if your retired and well off, or close and struggling or what, but everything here in costa is paid for, maybe its you who should relocate?.if we can mesh it together swing back and forth that would be sweet.comes fall and the rainy season, i´d really rather be elsewhere. So a fetish femme in costa rica-best of both worlds,in both worlds. I dont know quite where the urgency is coming from, but its time to strike while the iron is hot. pura vida. d |
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whats my theory today? "if defines ,it confines" I see the catagorization thing alot..and hopefully whoever picks up on me is getting beyond all that too. she-male tg.ts cd.top bottom masculine femme.how about androgenous bisexual fetishist..id like to dispense with alot of that and be far more fluid about it. so i may defy definition and not fit neatly in a catalog..my counterpart must be also. its my unique brand of sexuality i want to express, its got some male parts and lots of femme parts.call me anything but vanilla.important part is are we happy and having fun at it..
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more to the journal?..i got nothing better to do, more flights of fancy from the unfullfilled.
But current discouragement only lends to a sense of determination. (still with itch i cant scratch!) this cyber approach is proving to be frustrating, but I can only be flat out and see where these little signals bring me.
Really whoever can pick up on this urgency and round up this stray is going to be exceptionally clever.
So costa rica will go on the back burner for awhile.I need to find my counterpart,lover,owner,comrade,partner.
I dont look for extravagance,dont need to be queen of some scene, just being comfortable with who i am and who im with sounds luxurious.i dont know where you may be ..out on a farm in oregon? somewhere in the southwest?condo in florida? apt.in nyc.. I suppose you may be anywhere in the world eh? you can tuck me about anywhere. I come with some basic gears and wardrobe..but after these vagabond years i need to refit a bit. my femme traits have been put on hold out here to a large degree.
its a great place to duck out of the cold, to get away from it all, but the rainy season is long and hard if your going it alone. It just not exactly feeling like home,yet back in the states i am without roots. i try to touch on the mindset and situation i find myself in..made vague suppositions as to what i need to find...
I suppose youre around my age, eccentric,way kinky, looking for a steady thing..affectionate.
i tell ya, past this costa project i had no plan.i get to phx. in feb. from there.. i have no clue yet. the pandoras box of perv sits on the loading docks..
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oh, what can i tell you about spending the holidays alone in the mtns..yeah, it sort of sucks, I did indeed get myself out on a limb so it would seem.thus these little s.o.s signals from the edge of the jungle. i cant imagine who is going to be able to catch me as i freefall through 09..an errol flynn/salvador dali hybrid? some kinky artist /photographer looking for a pet project? a dom guy? tg switch? couple? I have to believe that youre out there trying to find me. My vague daydreams have no form yet, the bios i see have yet to grab me..the reocurring theme seems to be finding a safe haven.these surges of femme i have are certainly wasted here, so im like one oar in the water right?
its a spartan sort of life here, motorbiking through indian country, yes, i have been out here too long if you ask me..good that i was a mental health counselor for many years, at least when im talking to myself,its therapuetic.
so yeah, phx. in feb. get polished up and see what happens.
i gotta say though ,this vagabond
/going it alone thing is not going to work for me much longer.. nows the time to catch me..a whole pandoras box of perv right to your doorstep. good health, character, no "issues", a sense of loyality,humor,decorum... ready to go deeper and further...
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Looks like i will end up in Phx. Arizona in Feb.and stay with some friends... back in civilization with some help from my photographer pals i will reassert my search. right now im just one big bundle of cravings.
I would be most keen on being encased ,immersed, ...hoods ,gags, collars,corseted,booted ,lots of bondages..
a doll, a puppet.a sex object, a pet.
i go through these times with no sense of belonging ..no direction. cast adrift it would appear. |
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Once again..I look for a long term relationship, a safe haven, a steady man. 24/7 lifestyle arrangement.
I am ready to relocate , have no ties, and open to suggestions..i am not inclined to play games at this stage in my life, vintage enough to be from "my word is my bond" days. I know the sting of abandonment, and wouldnt enter into anything i wasnt planning to do my best at.
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oh, nice to hear more encouraging words.
and yes, if you can imagine me dressed far more femme fine..I had piles of pics , but when my last relationship rattled apart..i was devestated and went off on this tangent..rode a horse up in the mountains camped out for months, had a modest home built up on the mountainside.. But its time for me to find someone..and i dont care where i end up all that much..i have to find a place to be all i am inside..with someone who appreciates bringing it all out..and keeping it for themselves. wink
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yes I will get more photos up in the next few days.. its somewhat difficult in ths situation..i am far from my comfort zone..
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greetings from costa rica..I took a search around the states , looking at possibilities..It seems to help me get a focus on what course to set..
I see to be drawn to the mature biker gentleman.. maybe a dash of cowboy..
I would like to be in leather all the time and i travel well, androgenous enough not to make a scandal, it could be our little secret if the situation required, or I am as intrepid as they come and can be as provocative as you like.
seems most look for youngers..but i still have to think theres someone who would appreciate a vintage type ready to settle in and be immersed ala 24/7..
so .. simple as that ..be my hearts desire and i will do all in return..dhotkiss.. |
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so elaborate on where my headspace is these days..At 54, clearly theres more sand in the bottom of the hour glass than in the top, I have explored all sorts of pervy along the way and obilterated all the rules of engagement ,so to speak. Ive had the intention of integrating all the types of surges and urges I have into one rugged multi tool of a perv. I react to whats presented and adapt accordingly, a sort of shapeshifter. top bottom, male femme I can relish all the roles..very intuative, very fluid..
Im free to relocate, I dont really need a sugar daddy per se, I travel light, and would make a commitment to the right situation.. I lead a pretty spartan life nowdays, been sort of reclusive, I am at home in the city or the countryside.
Again, great raw material, with a depth of understanding, sensuality, and yes, hypersexual.. I appreciate some of the encouragements Ive recieved thanks , I needed that.. Denise.
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Since I have so much time on my hands.,I suppose adding some details may help things along..
20 years in the behavioral health field..worked in a hospice for children, state mental hospital,then out in the community. as a case manager, caregiver, liaison . Im always interested in the psych aspect of play..behavior modification ...
Yep,Ive put folks in restraints for real..written the treatment plans, psych reports ,all the Cuckoos Nest type stuff..
I am artistic, did some music and poetry slams back in the day. Sense of humor, sense of loyality ..Usually well balanced, good health, no flakey problems.. Last book I read was the long emergency by James Kunstler.(Clusterfucknation.com)
Wide musical tastes, eclectic films.
Been going solo for many years.. but that needs to change..I have no sense of belonging, no significant other.. seems what I seek is a rare and special thing..
and I wont settle for less.. dont you either.. pura vida Denise
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SO, APPROACHING 2009, TAKE A DEEP BREATHE.. HOLD IT STEADY..
THIS IS THE BEGINING OF ANOTHER VENTURE INTO THE UNKNOWN, AS USUAL.. I WILL GET SOME PICS UP IN A DAY OR TWO, AND HOPEFULLY BY JANUARY I CAN BE WHERE I NEED TO BE.. ID BE JUST RIGHT FOR SOMEONE OUT THERE. TIME WILL TELL.. DHOTKISS.
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| Age: 33 |
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California |
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