Ok, so I haven't met you yet.  I don't even know what you look like.  I will be ready when we meet.  I have the emotional intelligence, the stable finance thing, the wicked-smart mind and all.....but are you ready?   Really ready for the naked, standing-in-the-spotlight reality of who you are?  Shit I hope not.   Instead let's discover that together.  When you trust me we will push those horizons together. 

Hopefully you are broken in interesting ways.  I promise to forcefully discover and use them against you.  To our mutual pleasure.   

Yes, I will use you......you will grow to need it.   I respect that....and I will make you do things.....you will want to do them. 

When I am nearby, my favorite marble will get hard. 

I love my favorite marble. 

We will play lots of marble games together.

None of them will be emotional.

You will like the marble games.

I promise.....

Another year of fascinating experiences. I have ventured into the Portland scene and found lots of very cool folks. I find myself a more private person than some. My play is intensely sexual and my sexuality requires trust to manifest.

Overall folks are very tolerant and intresting. I highly recommend the PLA (Portland Leather Alliance) classes. Flogging is no where near as painful as it looks. It's more a tickly, tingly nerve stimulant with the right tool and arm. I had one amazing experience flogging a gal to orgasm, sure there was a bit of rope and a feather first, but anticipation is half the fun.

I probably will never do casual play. It just doesn't interest me. How will I know what you are really feeling if I don't know you?

If I'm lucky I will grow a small poly household of willing women. I love women. I love women who love each other. I have highly developed emotional skills, an endlessly mishevious mind and a kind heart. Lot of rope too. Did I mention I have lots of rope? Some leather and stainless too. Enough to make you gooey and ready...once I get in your head. Arousal starts in the mind, then makes those tender places all swollen.

I do like that.

So, willing volunteers?? Bueler? Bueler???

Some things are hard....as in difficult.  Listening to a woman lost and alone starting a difficult journey is painful.  The source of my sexuality, my entire being really, springs from empathy...or perhaps sympathy with others.  I can set boundaries for myself that I will no longer engage with a broken and dishonest spirit.  But I feel her pain.  In this case the pain is spirit deep.  I know she must experience it to reach the deeply submerged broken parts of her soul.  But such deep emotional pain.....I take no joy in watching a beautiful spirit pay for serious mistakes.  God knows I have made several.   As I am nearly her fathers age, I can see the damage he wrought.....in the name of God. 

I raise my cup of wine.  And offer my own small prayer that she will find peace, and he will find Hell.  Oh, that's right, he already has.......he fucking lives there.

My first jounal entry:

Day 1 of membership.  Wow, this site looks like a fantastic cove on a tropical island!  Somehow I think there may be sharks here and there.   I think I'll dip my toe in first.

What has occured in the last 24 hours is I have given some serious thought about how to communicate my particular strengths and weaknesses.  At it's core my dominance is tactile.  I seek to use sensory depravation, bondage, secret public stimulation and anything else I can think of to keep my sub/slave uncertain about what might happen next, but eagerly anticipating what lurks around the next corner.  Emotional games are played around a deep core of trust and affection, or they aren't played at all.  Actually as I write this, I really not interested in emotional games.  If my slave/sub doesn't feel a sense of value and worth in her service then I have failed as a Master.  My desire is to provide the guidance, discipline and rewards that result in healthy bodies and minds.  Ergo my moniker.  

If you're punishment needs to have a real aspect that connects to some deep, dark broken piece in your spirit, I am just not mean enough for you.  I love spanking and choking, solid hair pulling and have always been interested in needle play.  But it has to be play with me.  I've tried the other sort where the punishment was an attempt to restore emotional balance in the relationship and it does not work for me.   I've had four years of counseling learning how to be a good listener and clearly communicate my emotional needs.   Hey look, it's working!