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Why do I have this account? It is so rare to find one out of even 20 of the men who message me that are worth actually talking to. The rude, idiotic, disgusting, and very obviously not sincere messages I get on here make me start to think ill never find someone. Someone vanilla who would never want to feed this side of me would be better than 95% of the just plain assholes who message me.
*frustrated* |
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Awesome...the one person who even when the rest of my life is going to shit can still make me smile...just trumped everything else in making this weekend the worst! |
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I'm done getting my hopes up. |
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I've been going back and forth,
Tossing and turning in my bed.
I cant get these and feelings
From running through my head.
Is it Him personally that I miss and crave so desperately? I do miss things about Him, his voice. The feel of His hands. But I would miss that of any man...especially when there is no one to replace them...
Its the feeling He gave me, the scared safety, the soft harshness of His words when I disobeyed. It's a feeling another man could give me easily.
Its the situation I miss. The feelings created when I give my heart, body, and soul over to someone who would treat it as like, but still love and care for it like a prized possession.
Siiigh yeah early morning thought. |
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I just want to be held... |
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Being neglected...not fun... |
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I miss the sting of a whip...or a hand ;) |
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So drive all the way to clinical and get a text closing campus which means clinical is cancelled. One they cancel an hour after the deadline says they need to report it and two they cancel on a day where weather is above 32degrees and it's raining but not last week when twelve accidents happen because it's 15mph winds, snowing, and below 0 temps making it so you cannot see more than ten feet in front of your vehicle....makes NO SENSE. |
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Seriously need someone who can restore even a little of my faith in humanity...I lose a little more everyday! |
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And the lonely nights begin again... |
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This storm can end ANY TIME NOW!!!! |
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It's too cold outside for angels to fly... |
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I don't want to sleep alone anymore ... |
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Unending love to the first person to make me smile tonight |
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Gonna be one of those nights |
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I'm really feeling lonely...it's been far too long since I have been able to be me... |
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I just want butterflies again? Is that too much to ask? |
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Anyone wanna help a girl out...apparently I can't do anything right |
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Sooo creeped out! Glad I just finished getting my ccw and I sleep with my dogs at the foot of my bed...makes going to bed a little easier. |
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So sick of asshole, cocky know it alls! Really? I am a nursing student I may know a little more than you. Being a sub DOES NOT mean I'm stupid, I don't know what I'm doing, or that u know how to treat me! Shut up and listen u might learn something like how not to be a complete asshole. And you wonder why you have never had a gf or a subbie stick around? MAYBE BECAUSE YOU ARE ANNOYING AND AN ASSHAT!
Good night boy
Maybe I will have to end up with someone older than I anticipated...every Dom under 30 so far is an idiot and a cocky ignorant ass. Don't agree? Please prove me wrong |
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Really?
Well fine you didn't fit anyway.
But don't call me young don't call me immature, I know what I want I know what to do to get it and I'm not afraid of work and disappointment to get there. I have seen more and been through more in my "short" years than you ever have. Don't tell me I'm just another 21 year old. You don't know my past because it's stupid for me to complain about it. It made me who I am today.
I know what I want in the end, I know what I'm looking for, I know how it won't be easy and yes I doubt sometimes that I am doing the right thing to achieve that goal but that doesn't mean I don't know what I want and doesn't mean I'm immature and unsure. It means I need someone to vent to, someone to reassure me, that's part of a significant others role, I would do the same for you. I am still human even with the knowledge of knowing what I want in my life and I will have doubts and unsure moments I'm looking for someone able to be there for me...apparently you are not mature enough to fill that role. I'm more mature in most of my life than you probably ever will be. So good luck sir but next time don't judge so quickly. |
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Over lies. I'm not pretending anymore that I am okay with this. I will not be a backup plan any longer.
And I'm over stupid people...does anyone with a brain and a curteous attitude still exist?
Was any man raised with proper manners?
Has anyone learned don't fuck with the people who hold the keys to ur hotel room or serve your food? And since when is it my fault and why am I the bitch for trying to save your ass from a $250 extra charge by reminding u politely to not smoke in the room? Didn't your mother ever tell you it's rude to curse in front of let alone at a lady especially in public and younger than u? Sorry I have more class than you and 100x more intelligence than you do. I will not sink to your level but don't forget I have a panic button and u reek of whiskey :) |
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Seeing life in HD.
Your true colors shining in.
Blinding me with the truth.
Makes me appreciate,
The picture without you.
So much happier of a scene.
So much more serene.
Glad that I have cut you out now. |
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Getting cold tonight and listening to the rain...Wishing I had a lap to rest my head on. |
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Very lonely and bored tonight. With the semester starting I feel like I've stepped into that long tunnel again where I can't see the end and it's only big enough for me to fit. I need a new adventure.... |
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Will I ever find him
The one I will gladly give myself to
Live to serve and love
For the rest of my life.
One that fits the puzzle pieces of my life,
Of who I am, the two sides of me.
Yet who I can serve everyday.
Who will let that hidden side shine
Help me perfect who I am
Push me to better myself
Support me when I need it,
Cushion my failures.
Keep me inline to be the best I can.
Will I find Him? |
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