My dom has told me this many times.  This site tends to prove it.  God in his infinite wisdom obviously created spare parts.  Afterall, there are far more horses' asses than horses in the world.  

Too many of those seem to be on this site.  If you do not have the dignity to contact someone politely and with more than your prepared cut and paste introduction, do not contact them.

Remember, a good sub or dom have high self-esteem.  To give the gift of surrender that I have given to my dom required that I regain that confidence and self-esteem that all of the wannabes wanted to take from me to cover up their own inadequacies.

Those who are crude, only demonstrate that they do not have the confidence to be a real dom and are playing at it because they receive so little respect (deservedly often) in their vanilla lives.  

To those subs out there, never, never, never partake in any activity, even email or chat, with those who do not respect you, are not well-mannered, and do not treat you with dignity.  You can have dignity while being "used."

If you are looking for more than "scening," stay away from those who wish to scene only.

Real D/s (not the b.s. so many seem to find) requires a greater level of intimacy and communication and genuine caring than any vanilla relationship.  So few on here understand that or seek that.  

Having found it, I can easily say, that while I have been far from perfect for him, he is the most commanding man, in an understated way, that makes me melt and want to do whatever he says, because I know he truly loves me.  I will spend every day improving us as a couple and me as a person, in order to grow. Yes, D/s is about amazingly intimate love and is not synonymous with sadomasochism.

I know that I can tell him my deepest secrets and he will listen and still be there no matter how horrible or wonderful they are.  He and I are accepting of each other, not in spite of our faults, but with those imperfections because they are what make us unique.

To those who "are a strict master", get a life.  A real master commands with his voice, never raising it, always calmly telling the sub what is expected.  A real master respects a sub and earns the right to be a master.

If you are with one who does not respect you and tries to tear you down and tell you your only value is sex, run, don't walk away.  You will find amazing sex that is constant with one who treats your submission with respect.

I am amazed at the number of wannabe doms who truly have no understanding of the dynamic.  In my journey I have met too many of these southbound ends of northbound horses.  

Finally I have an understanding that D/s is a relationship dynamic.  Not just an excuse for easy sex.  Yes, it took a real dominant to show me what real D/s realtionships were.  He is the most amazing dom, because it is natural, loving and exciting in everyway.  It permeates our worlds vanilla as well.  It is the first time that I have been proud of myself and my dom and have no fear of those in my vanilla world knowing the nature of our relationship.  Let's be clear, ladies about what qualities exist in a real dominant:

1) He seeks to build up your self-esteem and confidence, not tear it down.  submission requires high self-esteem.

2) He does not just "scene" but has a full time dominant role.

3) He is a leader, not a user.

4) He respects your limits without question.  

5) When discussing changing limits it is a discussion, not a command.

6) He is kind, not mentally or physically abusive within the confines of your agreed limits.

7) He works on the relationship as equals with differing roles.

8) He does not need multiple subs if that is not your will as well

9) He does not seek to loan you out against your will or encourage anything unsafe.

10) The intimacy goes beyond the physical.

11) Within your own definitions, he is faithful to you.

12) Your needs truly come before his.  You have given him your submission, and that is a responsibility for him.  It is not a license to neglect your needs.

13) He need not demean you in any way to prove his dominance.  He is naturally dominant without the need for protocols.  Yes, they may be part of the lifestyle, but not necessary to him to prove his dominance.

14)  He is a communicator.

15) He is a gentleman in public and respectful of you at all times.

16) He does not tolerate anyone disrepecting you or harming you.

17) He shows a true love for you in everyway.

18) He is 100% honest with you and truly wants to know everything about you without judging.

19) Your happiness as an individual and a couple is paramount to both of you.

20) He not only makes you feel safe, but actually does all he can to make you safe.

21) When possible he is the primary provider in the household, allowing you the time to ensure you both have a welcoming home, as well as the time to prepare yourself to give to him fully.

22) D/s is a two way street.