I love this quote from Dominantfem

's journal entry.  It captures the essence of male submission as a gift from an intelligent, honest, and strong guardian and warrior.  Here is the Submissive's Creed:

“I am creative, courageous and honorable. I have many strengths. I have power, intelligence and wit. 
I use these qualities to empower, protect and bring happiness to others. I joyfully surrender them to she who knows and cherishes their value. 
There is no greater deed than to give oneself utterly to another. 
I offer myself in heart and body to my Mistress so that I may be fulfilled by meeting her needs, and that she may expose me to the very core of my being, learn my strengths and weaknesses and teach me to better know myself. 
My self and my strength and my love are hers to call her own, in honor of her beauty, her wisdom and her strength, which mirrors and enhances my own. 
I serve Her with honesty, valor and trust. I avoid putting myself first, but not at the expense of my identity. I seek always to clearly communicate my needs and my fears to Her. 
I am her champion, her warrior, the guardian of her honor - as she requires. I will defend her to the uttermost limits of my strength but, standing before her, I lay aside all defenses. I offer Her my trust and respect, and I have few gifts more precious than those. When we journey alone together, she recognises my needs and, when she takes me to places I have never been, protects me from harm. 
I ask her to lead me in turning my weaknesses to strengths, so that I may better serve her. I ask that she protects me from harm, and surrounds me with her warmth and guidance when I am faced with my darkest self. 
I look to Her, to have the wisdom to know when to push me to grow, when to teach me discipline and when to show me her gentleness and mercy. 
I trust Her to heed my voice and views, to nurture my love and desire for her; to approach my failings with humor, compassion, and firmness as necessary for the good of us both; to bring shape and meaning to our lives. 
In return, I offer Her all that I am; in joyful and complete devotion.” 
Author unknown

I am not a sadist; inflicting excessive pain is not my thing.  Spankings, teasing, and the ocassional pegging or fingering, yeah. But, nothing that might cause bleeding, scars, cut off circulation, or anything like that.  To me, physical discomfort distracts the sub and makes him even more self absorbed than most already are.  I want his or her mind to be on me and what I want, not on themselves and the pain they are feeling.  Ever eaten really spicy foods so hot that you can not taste anything else?  To my mind, this is SM.  I think that there is much more fun to be had when foods are spiced just right and you can taste a multitude of flavors.  Along the same lines, I'd prefer to have just enough "spice" to make the sub fully aware and noticing every sensation. Just my own opinion; you are welcome to have yours.

Looking for some fun.  I am not into the heavy, extreme stuff.  Just Looking for someone who is game for whatever- even if it is not extreme, sexual, or abusive.   Someone who is just wants to belong and to be of service - without being demanding.  Someone who is normal - except for being really open to service, exhibitionism, ification, or domination from time to time and who responds to my mood and follows instructions.  Someone who can be creative and who has a brain would be nice.  And, ideally, someone who is in decent shape, within 10 years of my age, lives nearby, and who has a day job.  If this might be you, let's talk.  

 Impress me.

1. Say something that lets me know you read my profile.
2. Send me a pic or have one of you in your profile. Don't moon me.
3. Say something other than a run of the mill greeting.
4. If you want to meet, propose a time, place, and location and ask me if I am available. Forget hinting and waiting and hinting and whining and trying. It is -not- sexy.
5. Ask questions - that are not about me asking you more about you. And not about you ask me permission to speak to me.
6. Find ways to make yourself useful, instead of just looking for free entertainment.
7. Don't assume that I live here. I sign on, but my life doesn't revolve around any online activity.

• I do not have time to email often. So, don't take it personally.
• I am not into sissy males. So, don't take it personally.
• If there are no questions in your email, you just ended the conversation. It's not what you said. It's what you did not say.
• Quality is better than quantity. I'd rather get a real email that you put some thought into.
• If you are in the 200 lbs range, post a picture. Anonymous is ok. Clothed is ok.
• Do not offer to relocate in your first email.

Try something different. Sprinkle some questions in before you hit send.  And, see what kind of responses you get.  Any difference?

Guess I'm lucky.  I do not feel that the people that I meet or talk to on here are fakes. 

Is it because people are disappointed to find they are talking to a person who doesn't want to be the vision that they have formed in their mind?

It is because of exaggeration where someone claims to be all that but in reality she or he doesn't -really- isn't?

Is it that people fantasize about a lifestyle that they have not and do not want to explore in real life? 

Is it because the activity may result in potential legal action? heath risks? or other things that make it impractical?

Just seems like their must be a mismatch between fantasy and reality going on here.

Sending an email that basically just says hello is the equivalent of saying - "Please check out my profile." because that's exactly what will happen next.  Please make sure that the comments section is not blank.

Just pretend you are talking to a real person.  Because you are.  Stop the pretences, fakery, and grand language.  And just talk.  And listen.  It's just that simple.

Honestly, guys, I do not care if you like to wear panties, hose, heels, and skirts. If acting girlier than most women makes you giddy, so be it. But, from the outside, you just look like a man wearing woman's clothes. It doesn't do anything for me. And, please, do you really think it's appropriate to tell me that dressing like a female brings out your submissive side? Hello! I am a female dominant. So, that'd be another miss.

I like for a man to be manly. So, jock straps, briefs, CFNM, naked servant, or men wearing just a t-shirt are more along the lines of what I like. And, ideally, he is also honest, genuine, and game for whatever I want. That to me is appealing.

Volunteering to be an oral slave is a joke. Unless of course you are a straight female, then this is along the lines of something that you like to do anyways. And, I'm a bit old fashioned - which means I'm not into having casual sex with strangers that I met in an anonymous web site. So, the point is, volunteering is good. But, volunteering that you want to do anyway with anyone does not mean you are submissive.  And, maybe I'm a "wild one" but to me that's just regular sex.

Volunteering to be a cuckhold for a single female that you have never met is a bit off too. Cuckholding is about a woman cheating on her man while he is present. I don't see how a stranger volunteering to be a cuck fits into that.

I have finally figured out that I am more of a light hearted, fun loving dominant. Enjoying others and saying getting what I want is what I enjoy.  But, I do not like for anyone to dictate how I do this - strict, harsh, etc.

 Still not much into trading emails that just say hi, though.

If you are here because you want a harsh or a strict Mistress to control you 24/7, it is probably not going to work out. If have to work that hard every minute of the day then something is very wrong. For those that are attentive, listen up because here is what I want. My ideal is to have an intelligent sub/friend/whatever who listens and follows at first but then gets to know me and what I like and makes it happen without being told. I am not saying that I would not take the lead when needed. At times, I will tell you exactly what I want. On ocassion, I have my devious moments where I might switch modes and enjoy you when you least expect it - for the fun of it. Beyond play, I probably would fill in for any weaknesses you may have- probably without even noticing it. So, this is the dominant's version of taking care of the sub. In essence, you meet my needs... I meet yours.. and we both end up with a Connection that we both get somehing out of. Please keep in mind, I am not going to be excited to immediately meet your needs just because you have them. Be curious. Be respectful. Be confident. Be assertive. But, please don't be completely absorbed in your own needs. If you are, then there is no Connection. -signed Connection888

I am -slowly- coming out of hibernation. While most of my energy is diverted to making my life the way I want (if you are not in control of yourself, how can you control others?), I am feeling myself becoming more interested in mild play - meaning nothing intense or serious but just enjoying the vibes and undercurrents of a dominant and a submissive. This is probably why naked sub, clothed domme appeals to me. Or socials where dominants bring their subs to enjoy in public.The reality is -subs want to be used hard to relieve pent up needs and to have their fantasies fulfilled - that is if they are not too afraid to do it. Most crave excitement, to be challenged to endure suffering, and to have their secret wishes revealed and explored. But, after a long day - what sounds great to me is no script, no whips and leather, no bondage, no expectation of sexual domination, no strap-ons. He or/and she just strips when entering the room and otherwise the evening is 'normal' has been my longstanding wish.Fit men who love to be watched, dominants who want to show me their prowess with their sub, or a submissive female who wants to just... be. It might be fun to find a man who wants to be useful and have him be my servant, my handyman, my sub - in other words, one wanting to serve or to be useful. Still - I am not up for having to think for someone else or for arranging all of the details or guessing at what someone else needs or for figuring out what it is you want me to know or do. So, take the initiative to be open, honest, and verbalize what you think, crave, or desire so I do have to waste energy with mind reading and inquisitions.  Review my profile again so that you can communicate with me without being annoying. Again, just easy-going, mild play.

Messages for subs to mull over -

You can't force a Domme to dominate you.  You can't make her put your needs above hers.  You can't force her to create free time if she has none.  You can't convert her into a Mistress seeking 24/7 slaves.  You can not make her a 'replacement' for your last mistress. You can't make her understand you if you're counting on her to read your mind.

You can show her the side of you that intrigues her and motivates her to dominate you (usually trust, vulnerability, openness, honesty, intelligence, common interests).   You can volunteer to help her set up time with you.  You can set up a time that works for both of you.  You can read her profile to understand her level of interest in BDSM and her views.  You can point out common interests and find out if you are compatible.  You can express how you feel, what you want, and what you are willing to do. 

I would really like to meet a single guy for a LTR who gives me a lot of attention - but who does not get whiny if I am busy.  A real LTR.  Not just a BDSM playmate.  Certainly not a married or attached male.

Beyond this...

I would like to find a sub/sub couple to explore different types of play.  There are also some specific scenes that come to mind often that I would like to see acted out.  (None involve the male having sex with me; again, not into casual sex with men.)

Forced bi is of interest to me.  I recently purchased a jock strap with restraints, an open mouth gag, and a face mask - with thoughts of exploring this.  However, I need men to come up in pairs, not singles, as so-called straight guys are really picky about who they are used with. 

Same room play with two males is of interest to me.  Can be anywhere from him hearing you get a spanking and you standing side by side to jerk off to more.

Group get-togethers of 4 to 6 people remains of interest.  I'm thinking more of a get together to talk, watch a game, or enjoy a barbecue, where subs may be groped, caressed, undressed, or made to masturbate.  The dominant can also direct his or her sub to do more if he or she wishes; that's up to the two of them.

I would like to find a woman to mentor, guide, and dominate.  Mentor - help her sort though her feelings, thoughts, and insecurities.  Explore her needs.  Have a friendship that is more open, caring, and sharing than most.  Guide - Give direction in the form of tasks, assignments, and exercises depending on her goals.  Weight loss, domination, being less inhibited, whatever.  Dominate - Doing what I want.  Can take her and explore different experiences - either as a single female with a desire to be used or from a male who wants to offer her on loan.  Can be straight or bi.

Honestly, I do not have a desire to dominate someone that I do not know - unless the photo is compelling or the dialogue is revealing and personal.  I do resist the urge to 'flex' on people in my routine day-to-day life, so I view being dominant as a chance to relax and be as direct as I want to be.  It takes a tremendous amount of energy to have a sub just accept it and not return it with true obedience and trust.  Or to waste it on having me make all of the decisions and arrangements outside of play time.  Said another way, I'm dominant when I have extra energy to give and subdued when my energy has been expended - due to stress, giving a good spanking, or whatever.  So, I'm not a good match for someone who is looking for 24/7 domination. 

But... everyone here seems to be looking for a lifetime of servitude.  I mostly just want "useful" people interested in going with I have in mind or, once they get to know me, the desire to please me over all others.