conflictedblade on Collarspace

conflicted

Conflicted

Conflicted


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	Looking first of all for friends... I am looking for people in my area that I can relate to, and Chat online with. I am not a fan of online-only dom/sub relationships so if all we are is chatting or messaging back and forth on CollarMe, then I wont consider myself your master. Perhapsit will develope into more. What I am looking for in a partner: Looking for a partner who actually enjoys receiving pain for its sexual effect on her. If that seems like a big warning sign, I apologize. I am more into soft S&M, like biting, hair pulling, a little choking... but I am not sold on the hitting people part. If you like to be hit, that's cool, I like carressing away the hurts afterwards too. I have a year and some months of experience in BDSM. I am looking for a female sub or switch who is also new who wants to learn together, or an experienced female sub/switch who is willing to take on a new dom in hopes that he will learn how to be very very good at it. I am searching for someone with whom I can have a strong connection to... some woman who is disciplined enough to stay in shape, someone who is turned on by receiving pain at the hand of a dominant... someone that loves to fall into the predatory stare of a dom and tremble in anticipation... Someone who can feel the ebb and flow of psychic energy between a well matched dom and themselves... someone to share a sort of synergy with. It is my hope that I can find this, the rarest and most beautiful of all creatures, and earn their loyalty and love. S&M: Last fall, a friend of mine opened my eyes to the lifestyle, and I must admit, I was fascinated and loved every minute we spent torturing each other by getting closer but always resisting going too far. That story is for people that get to know me... but suffice it to say that I was hooked. I had no Idea that there could be that much energy and an almost dangerous passion between two people. I have been looking for someone I can share that kind of relationship with ever since. My wife is not a masochist, and we have an Open relationship. The Open Relationship: It was my wife's idea. She wanted to not feel guilty when men flirted with her and she thought about what it would be like being with them. So far the open relationship has been a combination of good and bad. Always good when starting out... the newness of a new person who seems interested, and the blossoming friendship and love. But then it always ends, and the endings always hurt. Some hurt more than others, but it always hurts. I am still Undecided if this Open lifestyle is a good thing. Everything we have done outside our marriage has been with the permission of our spouces and in separate rooms or times and jealousy hasnt been an issue. And because we are carefull in our selection of partners, we remain drug and disease free. My Hobby: Ah sports... Sports seem dull compared to what I do for my hobby. It is a martial art, a competition sport, and a performance all wrapped into one. There is no other sport that comes close to the fun I have training with the European Broadsword. Some people get into Renassaince Fairs because of a love of the romanticised history or the fantastical spirit that makes us wish we could be heroes like in the Lord of the Rings... I got into Ren Fairs because my wife dragged me into them... I stayed because I loved the fights. Each year I wonder why I spend so much time and money on going to fairs and costuming... and my answer is always "Where else would I go to get the thrill of a real sword fight?" No coreography dictating the winner, my steel clashes against other worthy steel, and the adrenaline pumps as I test my own skill and speed and strength against another man's (sometimes a woman's) skill and speed and strength. It is a rush unlike any other. So why the name ConflictedBlade? I dislike harming others. I dont get off on causing pain for the sake of causing pain. I don't want to cause injury. I only enjoy inflincting pain when in the context of the bedroom acts. I enjoy hairpulling, biting, and a little choking with foreplay and sex. I enjoy putting my partner in a position that hurts and feels good at the same time during sex. During a scene, I prefer a partner who is a masochist, someone who actually enjoys receiving pain for its sexual effect on them. With someone like that, I am not conflicted... I do also enjoy slow vanilla sex where I get to gently explore my lover's body inch by inch... and then stare into her eyes as I pleasure her... I also love watching my lover's face as I enter her for the first time. Feel free to contact me. I like it when a sub shows initiative to contact me and tell me if she is interested... In this world full of creeps and pervs, I do this to put potential subs mind at ease, because I believe trust must be established before anything else can develope.

10/3/2011 9:07:50 PM

Got back from Riverssance, a medieval festival in Souix City Iowa... we were a stones throw away from South Dakota, and Nebraska too... Way up in the corner there. We had a great time and had lots of great geek fun... but now its back to the real world.

9/29/2011 10:04:27 AM

Going to go to a Renassaince faire... (I cant ever seem to remember how to spell Renassaince correctly) Will be gone until probably Tues morn. I expect all of you to misbehave in my absence... lol.

9/22/2011 9:56:30 AM

This economy sucks... Nothing anyone hasnt heard before. I took gamble a couple years ago just before the last presidential election... I gambled that the economy would turn around, I gambled that if I just got a bachelors degree, that I would be able to gain an excelent job and make more than enough money to pay back my student loans. Boy was I wrong. The economy hasnt turned around, my student loans are in default and even though I am taking care of a wife and kid on a 9.69 per hour wage, those evil loan people are going to garnish my wages and make it impossible to get by. So I have come to the conclusion that I HATE MONEY. It makes ordinary people into assholes, and then makes poor people who work for assholes be assholes to other poor people. I work in a call center so I should know. I am the asshole that you get to talk to when you ask to speak to a supervisor. And this I know.... I am not paid enough for that shit. But economy what it is, I seem to be having trouble finding anyone else to work for...

Oh interesting work dynamic... I have a problem taking orders from people younger than me. I have a higher degree than my current supervisor, but since he is older, I had no problem defering to his leadership. Younger supervisors though, really rub me the wrong way. I dislike the idea that they are telling me what I can or cannot do... It must be a pride thing... or a dom thing.