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ConatusDC
getsome
When the student is ready, the teacher appears. -Buddhist proverb
Conatus is Latin for effort which is an important concept for me in the context of intimate relationships. Someone very special helped me choose it as we relaxed in a hot tub and I enjoyed a beer and a cigar to stimulate my cognitive processes.
I call myself a Gentleman Dom which means my approach is to earn your willing surrender. The Dom-sub dynamic provides a wonderful artistic outlet for me with the ultimate works of art being your reactions - those emotions and sensations you experience as I per. It is those reactions, from the nuanced and subtle to the explosive release that are my rewards. And I work very hard for them. My inspiration comes from a generally self-centered interest - I love to see, hear, and feel a woman experiencing pleasure I love exploring a woman...her body, her psyche, her kinks, and her reactions to everything I do. Ive been accused of being a philogynist, I dont have a good defense, so I will just confess.
I understand that a gentleman must know when not to be so gentle with a lady I am firm when needed, and I do enjoy giving a good king (or whipping, or flogging, or paddling). My style is commanding but supportive and I love the tender moments of comfort and aftercare as much as the wilder ones. I love bondage and impact play, but I am pretty low on the sadism scale. The biggest risk for me is probably that I am prone to reverting to relentless but creative rough sex that will test your endurance and make you wonder if Im really over 50 years old
A strong foundation based on friendship and open communication is an important starting point for me, so expect a lot of communications as I get to know you and your needs. The first reason I do this is to find out if we are a match or not. This is key to me and I dont believe in trying to make things work when two people just arent a good fit. Then, this pays off in sessions, I am a planner by nature and everything I learn about you will be used to our benefit in our sessions.
I take great pride in carefully working to manage everything I can between us and to ensure both your physical and emotional safety. I have found that bringing a woman into a safe world where she can be free and enjoy her body (and mind) lets her enjoy and let go and of course I get to share in all of that. And these rewards are just amazing.
I desire the kind of strong connection that must be built on communication and trust. Im told one of my key talents is managing these communications, especially in how I respond to a woman revealing her innermost sexual secrets. I will not be phased when we discuss such things and will help you feel comfortable enough to share those things so we can explore them together. I know women have desires, and unlike much of the world I see that as beautiful and will still see you as innocent and as good as before you told me.
Newbie? Curious? Yes I do like to be someones first Dom (okay, I love it!). I think it is incredibly hot to introduce someone to this world and my style works rather well for helping someone overcome their fears and learn what they like and open up to exploring the world of kink. This exploration is both in finding whats out there in the kink world and discovering whats buried within yourself. Seeing a woman blossom this way is extremely gratifying for me. I also love how intense the reactions are when I give first time experiences. You may have heard that this is a red flag and this is for good reason many men will take advantage of inexperienced women...especially in using it to say you dont get choices or the right to say no to things. That means you should be careful, check references and use care when you meet a Dom that makes this claim I think you will find I am a wonderful guide to this amazing world.
I have a wonderful vanilla marriage and she understands that I need this outlet, so (within reason) I am allowed to play. For you this means that I am not a potential life partner, but I am a potential long-term friend with amazing benefits. Of course, my vanilla marriage means that the number of play sessions will always be limited however, Im told the quality of my sessions makes up for that.
Other important details are that I am 57 and reasonably fit for my age at about 190lbs. I have photos of myself posted that you will see when we become FL friends (and no dick pics!). So, touchy subject time...to save hurt feelings and awkwardness I want to state upfront that my preference runs to lean and trim women. This does not mean you have to be a supermodel or super skinny, just have a pretty face and be trim enough to have a relatively flat tummy and maybe a little muscle tone (I dont have a six-pack myself to be fair). After that, my tastes are extremely broad. If you are not sure, you will probably be plenty attractive to me after all I am 53 years old!
If we dont click for any reason, I will always be respectful, gentle and kind (I take being a gentleman seriously). It should not be taken as a slight if our preferences dont add up to a match Im just being up front to save us both from any wasted time, awkwardness or discomfort.
So...take a chance and reach out.no pressure I promise and I understand how hard it is to take that chance and I will not abuse that vulnerability.
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