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My photo is available, privately, to people I meet; because of my real-life position, I cannot post my photo here.
I have just joined this site, and though I have my doubts that I will actually meet any likeminded people (based on my limited experience with online meeting sites), hope springs eternal, so I am investing the time in this introduction, just in case I get very lucky.
Based, again, on my limited experience with online sites, people into BDSM and related activities seem to me to be a little rule-bound. I may be wrong, of course, but it appears inexperienced or “curious” men and women are not especially welcomed. Perhaps newbies, like me, are more trouble than we are worth. Or, this also seems likely, the BDSM lifestyle has fairly strict categories, and if you don’t know where the lines are drawn you can’t join in easily. For instance, I read a profile on here with a very stern tone pointing out that a sub and a slave are not at all the same thing. The person threatened violence if she were approached as if she were a slave, etc. I imagine that comes from jerks who may have approached her in obnoxious ways. I do not believe I am a jerk—I try hard not to behave in ways that might make me obnoxious.
What I am, and I am trying to be objective in my self-description, is a thoughtful, well-educated, intelligent and creative man who has in recent years begun to perceive an integral interest in the relationships between sexual pleasure and control and power and hierarchy—the mysterious fulcrum where pain tips into pleasure fascinates me. In order to explore these nascent feelings, I went to an upscale dungeon in a lovely Victorian neighborhood in Toronto and paid to have a half and half session with a statuesque and lovely Russian attendant. Based on those few hours, I believe my nature is more dom than sub—though I might be a “switch” as I understand the term. That is, generally I seem to like using control and being served, but there were a few activities when the Russian woman was in command that also stirred me.
What I hope to find is a woman, or a group of men and women, with whom I could meet and if the chemistry is right then enjoy learning about my nature and the lifestyle through scenes with her or them. What I would bring to her or to the group, I hope, are my maturity (some measure of wisdom through experience), my interesting knowledge of the world (education and experience), my creativity and openness, my fairly fit body and active, witty, playful, likeable mind and personality. If such a contribution makes a difference, I can be generous, though only with a woman or group who first valued me as an addition and then appreciated additional gifts I might offer.
I am married—my wife lost her libido years ago and set me free sexually so long as I am discrete and do not bother her with any information about my activities. I travel the Southeastern US. I would enjoy learning from new friends I might meet here, even if we never meet in person, but I do, primarily, hope to find a woman or a group with whom I can meet and enjoy extending my boundaries, getting to the edge of my precipice and my limits.
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