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ugh...gained 5 pounds in 6 weeks...not happy about that at all. Of course my new job isn't at all like my old one. The old one I was on my feet all day with steady heavy lifting. This one I am sittin on my ass all day. Starting friday am going to be hitting the gym 3x a week. not gonna let myself go down that road I was once on many years ago. Struggled and clawed my way down from nearly 400 lbs to 230..now 235...not gonna let it happen. NO WAY NO CHANCE NO HOW!!!
Ta Sadar Gor! |
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well... disappearing without even a courteous "thanks but no thanks" line.. is just simply rude and obnoxious....
Although... I do wish this person well and hope they heal from their trials.
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I caught her scent in my dreams again...eh...fail..lol. |
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well......and that's all there is to say about that. Possibly could add an, "eh...I guess I'm far too scary".
Would probably just be better off forgetting about being interested in anyone.
Hope you feel better and do well in whatever it is you choose to do. |
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Well...it certainly has been a while since I've update. Where to start....well...the girl I've been helping and mentoring again...though not all better, that will take years...but is patched up enough to really be able to start healing and moving forward...that makes me happy.
On the home front...the photo studio is going...and I've started back to school. LOL...at least I'm not the only old foggie in class anymore..a great deal of my generation are going back to school because of this economy..and job loss, etc...I am going for that oh so wonderful Art Education degree. Hell, ave been an artist for 16 years..might as well teach other people how to do it right.. niala is doing well in her classes and at her work and I am very proud of her... so far she's holding A's in her classes.
Still searching for play partners though..and for the right one to come home with. had a time working niala through her issues with no longer being able to enjoy pain...that's what happens a lot of times when a maso really gets injured(lol no I didn't hurt her..lol...she took a fall down the stairs and tore her rotator cuff...and that was that)... so my search goes on for someone to beat on to my hearts content...lol |
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Oh my oh my....look at the date....
Been far too long this time..so much going on as well. Have the parents here...really cool...Went to St Louis to start helping a former girl of mine...someone really screwed her up bad, so bad in fact....she is having to start from scratch...from the very begining...the initial admisson of just what she is in her heart. I was her first Master...taught her everthing she was....and when the time came for her to move on from me in her journey...we stayed close, until she met one guy. "He's my mate...my match in every way" she said. Of corse I was very happy for the girl...and very proud that she hooked up with such a well reputed Dom/Master from the LA scene....she became his slave...even though she never thought of it that way..but she was..and again....I was happy..."look at this shining sun and stars that walks this earth...and I helped bring it out..." and then...the birth control catastrophically failed...all three levels, the patch, the condom and the spermicide....pregnant.
Well...in my opinion..that is something wonderful! She said she was in love...she said he told her he was too...so..naturally...have family. Not so, he ordered her to abort, she couldn't (if she had followed that order I would have skinned her alive and gutted him where he stood)....he freaked and ran...left her high and dry immediately....to survive..she went back to her family in st louis and for the next two years he hs been playing head games with her. "I love you but I don'tknow what I want...I'm coming to see you" yes, he came, for two days at a time to play with and fuck her, and still lead her on. The last visit...spend 4 days scening and playing with her...and tore her mind apart...shattered her spirit...and then told her he doesn't want her after all.
I'm glad I don't live in LA anymore...I know the man...not well..but I know him....and mine would be a name that he would remember for the rest of his life.
And so here I am...10 years knowing this sweet, vibrant girl...getting off the plane in st louis riding a shuttle for 2 hours to get to columbia and get off at te MoX station...wait at the subway shop and just feel that I need to step out. I hit the door..and pow...she drives right up. "good girl" yes she is..timed it perfectly she did. And then I saw her and my heart broke right there. Shes a stunning woman...but where she was sunshine and starbright...she had become hard planes and harsher shadows...she hides it well enough...from everyone else. I was her Master...knew and know her better than anyone else.....and now again I am her Master...to try and patch her up and heal her shattered soul. Gods I hope I have enough superglue. |
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Ahhh...it's been a little while since I've updated so here goes.
The new studio is nearly completed and will be up and running soon! My parents have decided to move here to SC...it will be good to have them here. There are so many things I want to know about my parents. Of course..as a kid and young adult...you only learn so much. They intriduced me to the Gorean Lifestyle when I was a teenager.(eh...they sure did remember to lock thier door after that whole adventure..lol). And to think... she has served him for 30+ years! That is what it SHOULD be... lifetime commitment to growth, love and understanding. They taught me that you can never stop learning and growing and changing, and if you do, then something is wrong and you need to re-evaluate.
It comes to my thinking that so many people who take on the mantle of being Gorean...and then take on the commitment of collaring a girl as his kajira, think that all of the growing and learning should take only a short time. Ha! It's a lifetime I say...You certainly can teach the protocol and forms and such in a short time...but to peel back all the layers of the little beast until you et to the very core of her...get her to the place where she is nothing but herself...take years of work. Hell...niala has been with me for 9 years now and here recently I have finally managed to get her to the point of her being ready to find out exactly who she is not only as a slave..but as a person...to realize her true dreams and passions. Yes....kajira are truly that complex within themselves. Bah...I'm rambling now...but it's wonderful to see her growth each and every day.....and it's time I put a real effort into finding a sister to go on the chain. |
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Well, my parents have arrived from texas for the thanksgiving holiday! I love my parents...they are always so cool..and yes...they are the ones that brought me up with the Gorean Ideals. I haven't seen my parents in over 8 years and it's great having them here visiting....Dad decided a lot of things needed to be fixed here at the house...soooo...he just HAPPENED to bring his tools and is currently being tim taylor in the house...gods help me lol.
Want to talk about being long in the lifestyle...mom has been serving dad for nearly 40 years and still going strong...had our problems sure...but yanno...they are great! |
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Well, I keep seeing this journal tab here...and thought I would actually start using it <chuckles>.
Recording day to day life was never my forte, so here you aren't going to find things written everyday..but I think I will go ahead and make an effort to put a lot of my thoughts on what's going on in Mine/our lives here.
As people can read < I hope> you know that I am the Master half of a couple. niala, the slave half doesn't keep online journals much...she simply cares to live and talk in person, which is great...We've been together nearly 9 years now and I have to say..I've done extremely well in training her...each and every day she grows and grows and it makes me proud as a Master.
In other news...My photo studio has been open nearly three weeks and of course, as with any new business like this..it's starting off alittle slow. It's a bit scary...yes, a Master CAN admit he is scared of things..lol...but it will take time and much effor tto biuld it up and make it work well. There is a lot more I would say on the subject..but right now I smell my mushrooms starting to get to that perfect point of just melting in the butter and garlic.
YUM |
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