Finding a man is no easy task for submissive ladies. It seems many women do not understand the red flags signaling “Beware.”

- A dominant man will not start off by with, 'Bow down on your knees upon receipt of my message!' There seems to be many complaints from women about this kind of ploy as first introduction, and this is reason alone to 'block n’ move on.' (I would advise ladies to use this tactic often and liberally rather than engage in argument or flame wars…life is too short.). Ignore the Insta-Dom.

- A dominant man will not seem ‘desperate’ for your attention. Getting dates or getting laid is not his problem; he can find women on kink sites, at work, or in the grocery store. He knows women, and women are drawn to him. Many women, kink or vanilla, prefer a man who is take-charge both in the bedroom and in life. If a 'Dom' becomes frantic, anxious, or despairing because you don’t write him back every other hour, chances are he has a hard time with the fairer sex. The good news is desperation is easy to spot.

- A dominant man most often will be successful, a maverick, or at least happy in his chosen profession. If he has had some bad luck in his past, it will be fleeting, for he will strive relentlessly to place his universe back into the order mandatory to his existence. If your suitor languishes in poverty, unemployment for years, or hates his job, most likely his dominance is merely a cover-up to appease his lack of success. Though he may not be the millionaire, look for the man who is happy, confident, unique, and/or successful in his chosen endeavor.

- A dominant man will be very interested in you, and not just your sexual needs (though they will certainly get his attention). He will see you as a puzzle, and desire to make sense of that puzzle. The dominant guy loves challenge and that in essence is why so many submissives find disillusion in the vanilla world; most men do not seek challenge in sensuality, they fear it. Submissive women are the most challenging of lovers for they have great fantasy. Their fantasies often require a man to move far outside normal gestures requiring both skill and creativity. How you think about a myriad of criterion will be of great interest to him.

- A dominant man is likely to be damn good in the sack. Most men have their hands full with straight-up vanilla sex. The dominant man has either mastered or has no interest in such elementary play, at least not all the time. Making a woman orgasm many times has left him bereft of sport, so he now seeks a woman who will challenge him on other levels. The dominant guy is going to have a good understanding of the female anatomy, and will persist in finding the keys to your body and mind. He will have done his homework and already experimented in real-time on many lovers. He will be a bit of the Don Juan, if not Don himself; not a womanizer per se, but certainly sexually advanced.

- A dominant man may have all the accoutrement of kink (the whips, chains, and whatnot), but he will not need them to be dominant. A whisper, a word, a look, a swagger, and a touch are the essence of his talent. Confidence is his weapon of choice, not bragging about his dungeon. Those who tout their toys too highly might well be lacking in other departments.

- A dominant man will be very cautious in selecting you because he knows you have great desires, hopes, and dreams, and it is he that has to live up to them. Above all things he will wish to be good for you. He attempts to choose wisely but may at first make many mistakes in his choices as he finds his way.

- A dominant man will make mistakes and have no fear admitting them. The dominant guy knows he is not All Knowing, for he is human. A guy who believes he never makes mistakes or does not admit to them with good cheer is most likely not dominant.

- A dominant man will never send you a cock shot at first greeting and it is highly unlikely that he’ll have one on his profile.

- A dominant man will not beg you for naked photographs. In fact, he won’t beg for anything. He will simply wait till you’re dying to send him your naughty pictures unsolicited and accept them with lordly composure (or a rock hard-on, depending on the photo).

- A dominant man will never lie about being married or already having a girlfriend. If he’s married to vanilla, he’ll simply say so. If he’s dating vanilla, he’ll break up with her before venturing in with another (less he’s doing a poly thing and brings her along, or in an open relationship). The dominant guy is straightforward, will wish to be plain about his true desires and needs, and if he is attached, will be forthcoming with that information. If he’s cheating on his vanilla wife, he will say so. He made his choice and is going for it.

- A dominant man won’t lie about much, though he surely will keep some of his thoughts from you. A Dom who feels swallowing golden showers to be right up your alley may well know telling you straight out might have you running for cover. This is not in itself lying, he’s just taking the appropriate steps first and at the speed he thinks you can absorb them (he may well discard such thoughts as he gets to know you; he will discard his thoughts often). The lying 'dom' will have an agenda that has no bearing on your needs. The real dominant guy wants no part of someone for whom he cannot be good. A man who attempts to get with a woman he cannot handle or vice versa is desperate.

- A dominant man will not be heavy handed in his approach. He will be skilled at drawing you in, opening you up, making you feel at ease or on edge (depending on his tastes). His efforts will seem effortless; even aloof at times. He will grow on you. Capture you. Enlighten you and make things seem clear that may have been once blurry. You will feel better about yourself when communicating with him (even if your desire is to live in debasement!). Only an impostor will try to tear you down in order to raise himself to higher ground. The dominate gets off by watching you soar, not fall.

In essence, taking on a submissive is both invigorating and empowering yet also a humbling experience. He may err constantly, particularly if he is new. Yet he will always, always strive to be better, and though he longs and seeks challenge, he will avoid that which he knows he cannot handle, or will in some near future be unable to handle. It may take time but he will understand his own limits as well as his woman’s.

A submissive is a truckload of challenge (ask their ex-vanilla lovers), and so the dominant man needs you like he needs air. He wants your worship not simply for worship sake but because he has gone beyond the call of the norm, ventured into the realm of risk, and passing across the dangerous abyss where footing is treacherous, hopefully breaks into the sunshine of success offering you something glorious. THAT alone is why he seeks your worship; because he has earned it and deserves it.

If a man does not seek risk and challenge in his life, if he wishes worship without venturing his ego, if he does not persist continually toward excellence in handling a woman as he does in many things, he is not a dominant man.

Happy hunting!

~Author TheSensualDom2008

Girls have you ever read this?

The Slave Creed

I will communicate with complete honesty my needs, desires, limits, and experience.

I realize that failing to do so will not only prevent my Master and I from having the best experience possible, but can also lead to physical and emotional harm.

I will not try to manipulate my Master.

I will not push to make a scene go the way I feel it should.

I will keep an open mind about trying things that I am not accustomed to or comfortable with and expanding my limits. 

I will continue to grow as a submissive and as a human being.

I will accept the responsibility of discovering what pleases my Master, and will do my best to fulfill His wishes and desires.

I will not allow myself to be harmed or abused, 

I know that slave does not equal "doormat" or brainless drone.

I will be courteous and helpful to my fellow slaves.

I will share my knowledge and experiences with others in the hope that they will learn from where I have been,

I will take the time to help those new to the scene start out on the correct path.

I will be responsive to my Master,

I will not try to hide what my mind and body are feeling so that I may assist Him in His responsibilities as my Authority,

I know that Masters are not telepathists, and will not expect my Master to know thought or feelings which I do not share.

I will never think myself a "better" slave because I choose to submit on a different level than another.

I will not be boastful of experiences I have had as a slave.

I know that my actions reflect upon my Master, and will do my best to help others see him in a positive way,

I will not intentionally embarrass or displease my Master.

Above all, I will wear my title of slave with honor,

I will never cause others to think that being slave means to be weak or subhuman.

I will take pride in who and what I am, and will never show myself in a negative way.

The Slave's Rights

i have the right to set limits, and expect them to be respected. 

i have the right to trust, providing I have earned it. 

i have the right to expect You to believe I am an intelligent, caring and loyal person. 

i have the right to ask for Your attention, without having to misbehave to get it. 

i have the right to expect You to administer Your punishment on me with care and caution. 

i have the right to question your motives, should You deny my requests, as long as I do so with the proper respect. 

i have the right to speak up if I feel O/our relationship is not giving me what I need. 

i have the right to tell You what I need in a respectful manner. 

i have the right to expect You to understand my reasons for doing so, and the right to expect You to listen with an open mind and heart. 

i have the right to walk away from our relationship if W/we cannot come to a common ground on these issues. 

i have the right to expect tenderness, love and understanding after a scene is completed, should it be what I desire. 

i have the right to ask You for that tenderness if I've had a bad day, or if I just feel the need for closeness.

I understand that there will be times when You and I will disagree about this ~when You will want a scene and I will not. 

i have the right to voice my opinion, and expect You to listen to and consider my reasoning,

I expect You to have final word, but i expect You to wholeheartedly consider my feelings, whatever they may happen to be. 

i have the right to expect You to understand that deep trust often breeds love, and i expect You not to repel me if i tell You that i love You. For my Master i will love You, should O/our relationship move ahead, should O/our trust continue to grow. 

i have the right to expect You to tell me, at any point, if You do not feel You can return those feelings, so that i may decide what i want and need, For it is Your pleasure that adds to my own, and makes it real, And mine, that 
adds to Yours! 

The Slaves Prayer

Allow me the strength too answer questions I can't fathom...
Allow me the spirit to know his needs
Allow me the kindness to choke back retorts
Allow me the serenity to serve Him in peace..
Allow me the love to show Him in peace...
Allow me the tenderness to comfort Him...
Allow me the light to show us the way...
Allow me the wisdom to be an asset to Him...
Let me be able to show Him each day my love by my service to Him...
Let me open myself up to completely belong to him...
Let my eyes show Him each day my love by my service to Him...
Let me open myself up to completely belong to him...
Let my eyes show Him the same respect, rather I sit at his side, or kneel at his feet...
Let me accept my punishment with the grace of a woman...
Let me learn to please Him, beyond myself...
Grant me the power to give myself to Him completely...
Give me the strength to please us both...
Permit me to love myself, in loving Him..
Allow me the peace of serving Him.
For it is my greatest wish, my highest power to make his life complete, as he makes mine.

BDSM Beatitudes -- Blessed are they
(Author Unknown)

Blessed are the Dominants,
whose willingness to exercise
responsibility for a submissive
is the foundation of our Lifestyle.

Blessed is the submissive,
whose only true joy and
desire is to serve.

Blessed are the Tops
whose careful and knowledgeable
application of pain can make us fly beyond ourselves
and reach peaceful heights of self-awareness.

Blessed are the bottoms
who cheerfully and trustingly
yield their bodies and becomes
the Instrument for a Top's virtuosity.

Blessed are the Masters and Mistresses
who realize the
great gift they have been given
and dedicate themselves to utilizing
that gift with love and care.

Blessed are the slaves
who find that One special
person they can trust wholly and completely
without fear so they may yield their hearts, minds, bodies,
and souls without reservation.

Blessed are the Teachers and speakers,
who impart
precious knowledge to us all.

Blessed are the newbies,
may they know only joy in
this Lifestyle.

Blessed are those whose trust has been broken,
may they find those who will help them heal,
and may they once again build up the courage
to extend trust once more.

Blessed is the Collar,
the external symbol that binds
two hearts and minds together.

Blessed are we all,
for we are all bound together by
the ties of our Lifestyle,
which will forever separate us from the world at large.

There is something about
Being pushed up against a wall,
face first Cheek resting on rough wallboard
Breath caught in your throat
Listening to the growling in your ear
And trying to remember your own name
There's something about being
Pushed up against a wall
Your back flat up against it
Staring straight into eyes that see through you
Swallowing hard
Waiting for your heart to start beating again
There's something about
Being made to crawl across the floor To a seated Man,
staring into your eyes
Not letting you not look at Him
Not letting you stumble
Drawing you to Him without a word
Trembling, a whimper caught in your throat
There's something about
Being pulled up by your hair
Feeling that hand slink up your neck
Into your tresses, close to the scalp
Grabbing, gripping it, guttural sounds emitting from His lips
The pain not nearly as strong as the urge
To cry or bite a hole through your bottom lip
There's something about
Being bitten Especially on the back of the neck or nipple
Feeling His teeth so close to piercing you
Wondering, as you cry out, if He will, this time
Wondering, if you're going to bleed for your Submission
There's something about
Being bent over the back of a chair, without warning
Without pretense, without question
Having your skirt flipped up, cool air hitting hot skin
Your cheeks blushing, with the same color of your ass
As He warms it with the striking of the palm of His hand
The tears you cry not cooling you
The tears you cry because He has found you
There's something about
Those words He uses Those names He calls you
Those phrases meant to elicit a response
And you do respond
All of you responds
And your body betrays you, always
There's something about
Being thrown down and taken
Not against your will
For your will is to be there
To please, to submit, to offer, to relinquish
And you cry out for breath, for more, for Him
And you know you are home
There's something about
Being drug in the shower
Forced to your knees
Hissed at for silence
Growled at to be still
And awaiting the flow
That you know Marks You as HIS
There's something about
Kneeling quietly beside Him
Your body bruised, reddened, coated, tired
Your mind silent, for once ~ for a time
Your head bowed, your eyes closed
Your lips quivering as His fingers touch you
Your submission, unquestioned
Your Peace at Hand

Author Unknown

The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important. 

Ladies.....Quit Laughing.

Society can survive with brainless men (it has been proven). However, the latter would cripple the population!

A callused hand across your skin
To feel you tremble makes me grin
The heat we share builds and builds
Finding the peeks of your two hills

The silk that binds you, holds you still
Adding to the ecstasy and the thrill
Wanting to run needing to stay
Allowing me to have my way

My hand traveling down down down
The smoothness of you I have found
The moistness seeping from your mound
Making my head travel down down down

Your thighs soft, sweet and creamy
Making the experience very dreamy
Sadly this all must come to an end
But if you are good he will return again