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Hetero Female Submissive, 41,  Brisbane, Australia
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CittyCaterina

CittyCaterina - photo 1
CittyCaterina - photo 2

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I'm not here for casual Kinky fuckery. I'm not interested in an online relationship. I will not relocate. I'm not here for little boys chasing cougars. I don't necessarily consider myself straight or monogomous. I am definitely not bi. Not sure where I stand on poly. I'm open to experiences. I feel that currently I am best suited to some type of open relationship that works around my existing busy life. I'm not interested in married men cheating on their wives. If the best you can muster is Hey, don't bother messaging me. I'm not looking for a Daddy Dom. I'm not interested in smokers. I'm a masochist. I am quite certain I am an AlphaSubmissive with possible top tendencies. I am here to find genuine drama free friends and hopefully one day a serious partner to further explore a D/s relationship with. I do like to go out in the local scene on occassion. I am what polite men term rubenesque. I also have a fetlife profile with the name Candy-Cat you can check out. If you'd like to get to know me, vanilla and kink, please message me. Please read this before you message me. The Alpha Submissive Female. ? Sirs_Slut_Cielle https://fetlife.com/users/3798792/posts/2836092 Posted with approval from author. Please keep credit attached.The Alpha Submissive Female I have been reading quite a lot lately how certain Doms think there is no such thing as an Alpha Sub. Guess what? I've got news for you, because I am one of those things that you don't think exist. I am an Alpha Sub, and I am extremely proud of that. Some may laugh and snigger about this, but I am a sub because I chose to be a sub. Make no mistake about that. I choose to submit to my Dom, I choose to freely give my control to my Dom. But he who I choose to be my Dom, must, beyond any measure, prove himself worthy of my submission, worthy of my respect, and most of all worthy of my love. Now for those Doms that are scared of that dreaded L word, I have two words. Grow Up!! If you think for one second, that a sub that freely chooses to submit to you, to your structure, your discipline, to your everything, that she will not fall in love with you, you must truly think that you are the Sun and the Universe revolves around you. Any Dom that is worth his weight in gold, knows, without a doubt, that his sub, will fall in love with him, and more than likely he with her. It doesn't matter how his sub has come to submit to him, through it being her nature or through the Dom breaking her, it is inevitable that this will happen. As for my case, my Dom knows how he received the gift of my submission. My mind, my body, my feelings and emotions are such a big and difficult part of me to give, but for him, I try very hard, and I do give these things freely to him. But as an Alpha Sub, here is the difference between me and a sub that is naturally submissive in all aspects of her life. I will not submit to a Dom just because he is a Dom. To Dom me, you have to be a really special kind of Dominant. As an Alpha Sub, I will hold the bar and expectations of my Dom higher than what other subs will. If I am expected to give my all, I expect that my Dom will give his all as well. Open honest communication, and lots of it, is something that I expect. Some things that my Dom says will hurt me, and some things that I say will hurt him. If it said in an honest way, without the intention to purposefully hurt, it adds strength and security to the relationship. Just because something is hard to say, I do not expect my Dom to let it go out of fear of a difficult conversation. I do not accept for one second that the D/s relationship or the M/s relationship is not equal between the people involved. Because if it is a good match the Dom will complement the sub and visa-versa. And really, if we are all being honest, the Dom is not a Dom without his submissive, and the sub is definitely not a sub without her Dom. Both the Dom and the sub complete each other. Where things get interesting is when the Alpha sub is thrown into the equation. The Alpha sub is a strong confident woman. Quite often outside of the D/s relationship she is a powerhouse unto herself. She expects respect, she expects things to be done a certain way. She expects that she will intimidate men of all types. She knows how to work a crowd, she knows how to be the centre of attention. This woman is as comfortable being the leader of an organisation as she is at handing the reins over to someone else who she feels is worthy of being her prot?. The Alpha Sub woman is very close to being a perfectionist in everything that she does, and expects others to follow her example. What she gives, she gives freely, but does not expect to be stabbed in the back with what she has freely given. When the Alpha Sub contacts her Dom she does so for a variety of reasons. Most times when she contacts her Dom it is because she needs something. Although she can stand on her own two feet perfectly well, she does not like to admit that she needs her Dom. It is not easy for her to show her emotions. If she is threatened, she is like a clam and closes up so tight, that her Dom is nearly back at square one with her, until she feels comfortable enough to let him back in and work with him to fix her world. The needs of an Alpha Sub are complex and so much more than any other sub. Hence the rewards of the Dom are so much sweeter because of the fact that he has chosen an Alpha Sub, who by all accounts is not a woman who is easily satisfied. The Alpha Sub, when she finds and develops the understanding and trust with her Dom, will fight off anyone who threatens her Dom. When she finds her Dom, he becomes the most important aspect of her life. She will depend on him, she will open up to him and she will do anything that he wishes of her. But take away her confidence in the relationship, or take away her need of open honest communication, she will start questioning herself and her worth. Doms, if you think you have found an Alpha Sub, hang in there. She wants to please you, she wants to submit to you. She needs to know that you are worthy of all of her, she needs to know that you are not going to waver in your conviction of a D/s relationship with her. It will be effort on both parts, but once you have that deep understanding and knowledge of each other, she will not want or need any other Dom ever. Be prepared for her, when and if she decides to give, she will give everything that she can. Alpha Subs - do not let any Dom ever tell you that you are not a real submissive because you have strong convictions, ideals and expectations. The truth is, a lot of Doms do not know how to handle an Alpha Sub, we scare them, we make them think we are too much work. The Doms just don't realise that when they put the time and effort in, they will potentially have a strong sub, capable of just about anything, and she will and want to be his, probably for life. https://youtu.be/Pa7xEsFWpE8

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Joined:

 CittyCaterina

 Submissive Female

 Brisbane 

 Australia

 5' 5"

 41

 Hetero

 Caucasian

 09/07/16

 

Actively Seeking:

Dominant Transgender

Dominant Male

Switch Men

Domme/Dom Couples

Mascdom Couples

Friends Only

 Loves:

 Blindfolds

 Bondage

 Electrical Play

 Local BDSM Community

 Fire Play

 Hair Pulling

 Massage (Getting)

 Mental Bondage

 Sensory Deprivation

 Shibari

 Spanking

 Wax play

 Tattoos

 Eighties Music

 Nineties Music

 Rock Music

 Likes:

 Amusement Parks

 Art Galleries

 Beachcombing

 Coffee Shops

 Going to the Opera

 Movies

 Museums

 Musical Theater

 Travel

 Anal Play

 Breast Play

 Collars

 Corsets

 Fisting

 Munches

 Public Play

 Stockings

 Uniforms

 Vibrators

 Cooking

 Cross Stitch

 Gardening

 Singing

 Old Guard

 Alternative Music

 Blue Grass

 Blues

 Classical Music

 Country Music

 Folk Music

 Funk

 Heavy Metal Music

 Hip Hop Music

 Jazz

 Oldies

 Opera Music

 Operetta

 Pop Music

 Punk Rock Music

 R&B

 Rap

 Reggae

 Seventies Music

 Show Tunes

 Tolerates:

 Canes and Crops

 Chastity

 Housework Service

 Speech Restrictions

 Tickling

 Whips

 Curious About:

 Begging

 Body Worship

 Foot Worship

 Gags

 Gas Masks

 Hypnosis

 Knife Play

 Leashes

 Masks (On Partner)

 Masks (Wearing)

 Orgasm Denial

 Outdoor Bondage

 Plastic Wrap

 Suspension

 Lifestyle BDSM

 Dislikes:

 Role Playing

 Watersports

 Hard Limits:

 Hoods

 Humiliation

 Pony/Puppy Roleplay

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Journal Entries:
1/30/2017 3:29:44 PM
From submissive guide- The phenomenon of being a Strong submissive If I had a nickel for every submissive who hit on me, I could open my own dungeon. The real bummer about the whole thing is that I?m submissive myself. Oh sure, I top now and then, but when it comes down to it, my BDSM orientation is submissive. So, you ask, why are submissives glomming onto me like those alien pancakes glommed onto the officers of the Star Trek enterprise? That answer is easy ? it?s my dominant personae. It starts with being a plus-sized woman, one who wears sexy and dramatic clothing. It continues with my articulate mind, my direct way of speaking, and my forwardness in asking for what I want. Yet that person, that public person, is not my sexual orientation. I say orientation in the sense that I?ve committed myself to the lifestyle and no longer date ?nilla guys. When it comes to the bedroom, I love to serve. I love to be taken. I love to suffer. I love it all. So why?s it so hard to believe? We?ve all seen media images of the powerful male executive who sees a mistress on the side. We understand that men like this need some time to let go, to not be in charge. Yet we never see media images of the powerful female executive slipping out for a quick bondage session, although the housewife donning a PVC catsuit to whip up a few afternoon callers is common enough. These are roles we?re all familiar with ? the successful male executive and the housewife. These are roles that don?t make any waves in our patriarchal culture, at least in public where it counts. You?d think that in a culture that teaches women to give up their own needs for others, the obvious rebellion would be to go Domme, but the obvious is not always the reality. The dynamics of who we are in the bedroom (broadly speaking) versus who we are as people are circuitous. Just as the mind and soul and body are all intertwined, so is our sexual orientation intertwined with who we are a whole person. Yet it does not automatically follow that they should present the same. If that were so then we would all be exactly as we appear. We would no longer have our humanity of equal parts art and soul. Why should a person submissive in the bedroom also be assumed to also submit in life? There?s no obvious rational to that statement, yet it?s so commonly asked of me I have to believe that people cannot understand the difference between sexual orientation and personhood. The corollary is that dominants, usually men, often assume that I will submit to them simply because they are a master, even though they are not MY master. Is this arrogance or just inexperience? Is it simpleminded and simpleheaded, or simply ignorant? On the broader level for both men and women, there is often a confusion between submission and passivity. Being submissive doesn?t mean you let people take advantage of you. In fact, having a strong self means that you have more to give a dominant. If you are nothing, if you are a doormat, there?s no challenge or excitement in dominating you. Being a doormat is not an act of submission but rather state of helplessness which invites abuse. I am a submissive, which is a proactive choice of seeking to please my partner. He, in an equally proactive way, gives me the control and care I need. It?s an equal exchange, so unlike the vanilla world where women are often taken for granted. One if the wonderful differences in the D/s community is that the submissive (female or male) may well bring home the bacon as well as fry it up in a pan, but because the exchange is a negotiated agreement, her contributions are fully appreciated and taken into consideration. This is not the assumption of the traditional family dynamic where women are often working full-time and have to come home to care for the home and children on top of that, with little help from their partners. Generally speaking, both female and male dominants carry the trait of dominance in their sexual orientation as well as in their lives. And while the image of the successful male executive who is submissive may be a popular stereotype, I don?t actually know any men like this. In fact, my experience with submissive men is that they tend to also be submissive in a broader sense. The interesting dynamic arises with submissive women. About half of us are like me ? powerful energetic women who love to submit. The other half (or so) are submissive in all areas of their lives, quite often even passive. What does this gender difference mean? I?m guessing that the traditions of women?s roles in our culture particularly affect those of us who are submissive sexually. Many of us struggle with wanting to express our submissive sides without losing the independence our foremothers fought for. We recognize that feminism is threatened by women who claim their submissive sexual nature. Of course we don?t want to lose what feminism has given us ? freedom to vote, to work, to make our own choices. But real feminism is about freedom to choose ? which includes choosing our orientation. It is only through educating our submissive sisters and our vanilla brethren that we will help everyone understand that being submissive does not necessarily diminish our strength as women, individually or collectively. It is only when we become passive that we are truly diminished. On the most superficial level I too am that executive woman. I make decisions all day; I don?t want to make them in the bedroom. But it?s far more than that. One of the downsides of being a strong woman is that people figure you don?t need attention or nurturing, but they could not be more wrong. In fact, because we receive less, we actually need it more than most. Being submissive allows me to accept the nurturing that I need, that everyone needs. Part of that nurturing is being the center of attention. This person, this dominant has spent time, money, and energy planning a scene designed just for me. It is so focused on me that he may not even orgasm, and is entirely understanding when I do the classic obnoxious lover?s move of rolling over and falling asleep after the scene. On the surface the classic scene is enacted by the dominant, but at the foundation it?s about taking the submissive into a different headspace. And, hackneyed as the phrase has become, it also comes down to the submissive being ultimately in control. I give up my power within a certain sphere of influence, but even then, even at the very last minute I can make it all stop anytime by simply speaking my safeword. On a deeper level, serving is a spiritual act. Although I?m not a Christian, I like the story about how Jesus washed his follower?s feet. In serving another, I put my self aside. My demanding, selfish, childish self. The self that wants what I want when I want it. But for those few minutes of serving, I am lifted above my mundane wants. When I am free to fully express that side of myself, my submissive side, then I become even more of the strong woman that I am outside the bedroom, the strong woman who revels both in her strength and in her submission.

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