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beltainefaerie
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StrawberryGash
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- Happily Owned -
i'm mostly looking for a female switch or sub to play with me and my Dom... but i am also open to playing with girls alone if we click really well. (this could be vanilla naughty play or something more on the kinky side)
i am both a pain slut and a sensation whore and am highly enamored of a good mind fuck. i am a masochist and a sadist but not by any means a Domme (i hate to be in charge) that's what Daddy and the hot bisexual switch we haven't found yet, who is hopefully reading this right now, are for. Hi pretty girl.
i'm open minded and arty, funny with a dark and dirty sense of humor, silly, flirty, dyslexic, klutzy, perverted, inteligent (yes i'm aware that's spelled incorrectly and no i wont fix it, i find it amusing and ironic), i am simultaneously out going and shy (in a club i’m likely to run up to a pretty girl and say hi and then get all shy and self conscious cuz i’m talking to a pretty girl), i live largely in the world inside my head which is full of cartoons, surrealist art, poetry and dirty pictures, but i come out some times and sometimes the real world and the one in my head blend together.
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why are there so many stupid subby boys out there. I know there are some out there that are perfectly reasonable and lovely human being but the jack asses that send me messages offing me, an owned submissive, money to dominate them make me excessively angry! Do they really think calling a girl a whore is going to get them anywhere? Do they really think that asking something from someone that is the opposite of what they want is a usfull plan. would i try and hit on a gay guy and tell him i will pay him money to sleep with me, NO of course i wouldn't!! That would be stupid. But that is essentially what guys like the jerk who just messaged me, offering to pay me to beat him, are doing. And yet somehow they dont understand why they get rejected and yelled at. It makes me angry. i want a girl to add to my household, dose some stupid subby boy fit that description, NO! I dont know why this makes me this angry but it dose. Maybe it is because men like that push real women out of CM, maybe it is because it is just insulting, or maybe it is because i come on here hoping to find a nice girl that i can get to know and if things go well eventually meet and play with and bring into my bed and life and instead my inbox is filled with light blue. |
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Hello all,
i wanted to put into my journal that Daddy and i are seeking to rent out two possibly three rooms at the house where we are staying in the Hollywood Hills by Griffth Park. The house is two stories with two and a quarter bath, four bedrooms, hardwood floors, a nice kitchen, large living room, dining room, and terraced backyard. We are looking for like minded people (friends not necessarily play partners) to move in sometime next month. Couples and single women welcome. Depending on the room the prices range from $600 - $1000 per month plus utilities. Please let us know if interested, if so we look forward to hearing from you. |
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why is it that finding a guy on this sight just to hook up with was soooo dam easy, and in fact what i thought was going to be a one night stand has now lasted two years and counting but finding a girl for either something real or to just hook up is seems impossible? |
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why is it when ever i look at the who's viewing me section of this site it is almost always all men... and then i am sad.. where have all the cute women gone and why dont they want to spy on me? |
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So I had to remove all pictures due to theft by beautysexyslavee. My pictures might return with watermarks, Daddy is pissed! In the meantime I can direct you to my non cm account, (the site cm wont let me name where you cant just right click on someones pics and save them to your computer ) and or send you pictures after I have gotten to know each other, with permission from Daddy. So thank beautysexyslavee for causing us to have to remove them.
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yes i have a flying pigy on my back, yes that is its ass... it is flying into the future |
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ok here is a message to all the men on CM .... no girl want to open up their whos viewing me section to see a profileing picture which containes some guys dick... i dont care how nice a dick you think it is ... take the thing off your profile, if you need to have a picture of your dick up in your pics then at very least move it somwhere in the back NOT AS YOUR PROFILE PIC!!!! do you part to butify CM NO COCK SHOTS as profile pics!!!!!!!!! thank you |
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so after my long rant about being messaged by men now im going to amend things slightly. I still have NO interest in real life play with men, and with out Daddies permission i will NOT go on cam, but if a male Dom or switch who wanted to role play online only were to message me, and he was interesting enough, i still have to find you attractive and generally appealing otherwise i am a brat and will likely just laugh at you, then i could be open to the possibility of online play... sooo opinion officially amended time to go off and sit at Daddies feet now.
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so, here is the thing, i am a sadomasicist but im not a switch. so i am only looking for submissive girls that either are near by or think they might travel and end up near by, AND that are interested in playing with me and Daddy together. Because otherwise, other then as a friend, i really have no use for a sub, i AM a sub. A swich or a Domme is an other story... i like girls and being topped online can be fun at times so even if they are far away they can still be fun for me... even though i would still prefer someone to play with in person, and most of all someone to play with WITH Daddy, although yes if we clicked and he meet you and gave the ok for the loan of his property, so he knows it is in safe hands, then a hot Domme or switch to play with just me could still be fun, not as much as a switch that would enjoyed topng me and being topped or mentored by Daddy but still fun.
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so what part of HAPPILY OWNED am i saying in an other language... here is a little tip for you guys... if i don't alredy know you, this part being why i havnt just blocked all messages from guys sending them to my bulk so i dont have to deal with them, and your not a sexy girl, wich if you are a guy then hummm think that means you are not a hot feminine creature who i have an interest in speaking to, i probably don't want to talk to you .... get the fucking hint!!!!
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ok so im frustrated...
I want to find a girl to come play with us.
it was so easy to find couples to play with when i was single and so hard to find girls to play with as a couple...
ok so im exaggerating some ... we have had three since getting together so not exactly impossible... and it was virtuly impossible with my ex, but my ex was kinda fugly, something i was only vaguly aware of at the time.. where as Daddy ... welll ... lets just say that not the problem *GIGGLE* but we have yet to find a girl to play with that was realy a match ... now the second was a much better fit then the 1st who was pretty much strait, or the third who was not really in the right metal place to be handling stuff... but... im greedy i want to find a girl to play with us .. one we both find attractive that is attracted to both of us, one who is bi and preferably a switch so i can enjoy watching her play with Daddy, and who also would like to toss me around a little, some thing oh so hot about being beaten by an other woman ...
although just watching Daddy fuck, beat, and humiliate some hot little submissive girl would be pretty hot in and of itself...
as would a threesome with a Domina who was into us both ... mmmmm just the thought of having Her and Daddy just go to town on me till i cried out begging for mercy...
not to mention i miss having breasts to play with and suck on, and i miss licking cunt... not to mention how encredably hot it is to watch Daddy fuck an other girl... and the feeling of her toung agent mine as we both go down on him at the same time...
wimper ... i want a threesome damit
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went out tonight without Daddy, for the first time in forever cuz he is out of town ... it was strange but i got to play and it made me happy and seems to have calmed my nerves stil want desprately for Daddy to hurry home though... although god... there certainly is something incredible about a sexy, strong, dominant woman.
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now just before i go to bed, after having watched 3 episodes of true blood to distract me, my mood is different,
i have recuring thoughts of Daddy, thoughts that eco through every inch of flesh.
sorrow for someone i didn't truly want replaced with longing for someone i desperately do. But i didn't get permission to touch myself before He went to bed and so i go to bed with my body hungry, out of a sence of respect that i never had for my ex, knowing that it is possable he would understand and forgive me, but chosing to show my loyalty to him by obstaining from the fulfillment of my longing, strong as it may be.
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Today would have been 13 years with my ex.
I love Daddy, so why am i feeling so sad over mark. Its sort of like morning the loss of the dream of a life i had wanted for a long time.
I wouldnt want mark back, but for some reason when it hit midnight it made me sad.
I love Daddy, and he makes me happy and is a better fit for me then mark ever was or would have been, yet there is a strange sadness i cant shake.
Daddy was suppose to make me his yesterday, which is ironic cuz it was his anniversary with his ex ... the day before my anniversary with my ex, strange hu?
Life got in the way and it had to be postponed. I'm left wondering if it hadnt and i was His today if this feeling over mark would still be there or if it might in fact be worse, out of a misplaced sence of guilt for falling in love agien so soon after ending things with mark.
I feel as if i belong to Daddy even though i am not technicly his yet, and i love Him.
and as i write this i feel a little better, but there is still a vuge lonlness that lingers. morning the loss of a long expected life. a life that i WILL still have someday, just with someone elce. perhapse my sorow is cuz the relationship im in is to new to eliminate that senece of wondering, will someone love me enough someday the way mark couldnt and never would have. Two months isnt long enough to eliminate that wondering. Although befor Daddy i was starting to doubt that anyone could ever love me. To doubt that anyone would ever think me worthy of being a wife and mother to there children, now i have hope that somday someone will, not nesisarily that it will be Him but only that is possable that i am worthy of that kind of love, something mark had made me doubt.
I had alwaysed belved in Happily Ever After, mark took that away from me. He made me belive it was foolish dreaming, he told me as much. Being with Daddy reminded me that even if it is it is dreaming that is worth having
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so this was in my profile but i think having it there was confusing people so now im putting it in a journal in stead...
I am pretty freshly out of a
12 year relationship, so I wasn't really looking for anything serious,
However, as is so frequently the case, the universe seems to be
laughing at these intentions... i met some one about two months ago who
i am now in a relationship with despite efforts to not have feelings
for anyone...
I was so enjoying being a slut ... but meeting
someone who makes me WANT to submit and WANT to put his needs before my
own is something to important to ignore, since as i said i am generally
a brat ... this is especially true when
combined with my having legitimate feelings i never would have thought
i would be capable of having for someone yet... the gods are defiantly laughing at me.
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so i want to say that im currently no looking to fufill this fantasy... the brother sister fantasy... after what happened with my last relationship its not really what im looking for though it may be somthing i want to play with agine at ome point ... i just found the relazations that i had created that dyamic in an ongoing way interesteing and needed somwhere to share it. Also relizing that was the first time i had been able to be turned on by my former relationship in quite some time rather than frustrated and saddend by it ...
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so took a long bath today and was thinking about things im my love life and relationship histlory and i
relized something
a couple things actualy
but mostly...
i seem to have a fetish esc interest in having an older sibling
and ...
did some scenes like that with mark when first together put had never put together that in lot of ways that was how he treated me and on some level i must have asked for it
i have oftern siad that the way we did the pain play that we did do was more like brother sister interaction then dom and sub
it occurs to me that in many many ways we interacted like brother an sister ... except of course that we fucked like crazy
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so went to play with a guy on from on here yesterday and apparently have lost wight and now need new pics
wooofuckinghoooooo
horay yes yes yes
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wow went from one guy for 12 years to 3 guys in one week ...
i am totally insane
but im having fun
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i had the best weekend,
got a wonderful multi-orgasmic beating Saturday night, and then yesterday i went to Ren Fair, worked fair during the day, stayed for after hours party, and got laid in some guys tent at the end of the evening...
and i didn't even give him my number =0)
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i broke up with my boyfirend today... we were never going to make each other happy. i new sooner or latter i was going to loose my will power and sleep with someone elce and i know that would have killed him, so i broke up with him today, i broke his heart so that he could move on but i can't stop crying, ive alreday been doing things that would have hurt him and not telling him the whole truth i couldnt stay with him because i love him and he deserves better. I wanted him to marry me , we have been together for 12 years. in order to marry me he would have needed me to change, i was afrid i would loose myself. i have already lost so much of myself to be with him. tonight someone pointed out that i was being a hypicrt. i didnt want to change for him but i wanted him to change for me and that wasnt fair. a person shouldnt have to change in order for the person that loves them to want to be with them and only them forever. he told me i broke his hart, but i didnt have a chosce.
he said i make him happy but i know i never could. i wanted something from him he couldnt give and i never would have stopped wanting it. he wantted something from me i couldnt give and he never could have stopped wanting it. deep down we have known for years that we are wrong for each other but when you love someone sooo much you dont want to let go. so today i set him free. I hope someday he sees it that way. but no matter what, no matter how wrong we are for eachoth i cant help loving him, so i cry. so i hurt.
this seems a strange journal for this sight but here i am putting it here. We slept together wile i was in SF. It was some of the best sex of my life. and in his arms i felt safe, but out of them sitting on the couch watching TV i knew i didnt belong in his life anymore.
I went up to SF planing to sleep with an other guy. it didnt end up happening but if they hadnt had to go out of town it would of. the man i love deserves better. and if things were right with us i cant imagine i would want so badly to sleep with someone elce. But now i hurt. now i cry.
maybe tomarow will be easyer, but tonight i cry.
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got a good beating, and feel sooooooo
much better now!!!
horay
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havn't been laid in almost a month and going completely insane!!!!!!
can make self ... "happy" but try as I might I cant get rid of the lust. Told BF we would see other people... but havnt cuz still love him...
want to go see him but can't afford it
and in all honesty even though I love him late at night when I'm thinking dirty thoughts hes not who I'm thinking about
been behaving inappropriately with some one I shouldn't cuz he is a friend of both of us.
talking dirty with one of his friends is wrong and I know it but I have been flirting with this guy for years so it wasn't that big a leap...
either way I seem to be obsessed
complained about not getting laid to sally maie when they called today (whimper)
not a good thing
would love to be beaten...
maybe that would help since it can bring on its own kind of orgasm
dated long distance when I was a teen but it didn't feel like this
I'm climbing the walls
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I told my boyfriend today that I want us to see other people... I still want to see him but I want to know we are not just settling for each other... even though I know it was the right thing to do having done it hurts like hell
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so heres the deal:
I'm in a dying relationship. We've been together 12 years, living together for 10. Now we are moving but not together. He's moving to Santa Rosa and I'm moving to where ever I can find work. He thinks that things are going to be fine but I feel like we are going backwards. He doesn't understand. He is also not of the lifestyle. He plays at it to make me happy and is certainly a dom out of the bed room but it is not the same. So I'm here to see what else is out there. I've only ever been with three people. Two guys and one girl, and one of the guys, my first, was a sociopath rapist asshole. So I suppose I'm a bit damaged. I also have a running list of all sorts of theings I'd like to have in my next lover. I guess that that in an of it self is a sign that my relationship is basicly over. One of the things on the list is I'd like someone who shares at least some of my kink. My curent partner is a bit vanila. One other thing that isn't in my profile is that I am also quite atracted to men in womens clothing not the passable kind though generaly. I think it is becuase of the consradiction becuase I'm not at all atractd to androgey.
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so i'm back in sf now... thus i havn't been on alot... sleeping better, getting laid some... but still depressed
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so I have now had it pointed out to me a number of times that the spelling in my profile is wrong ,
and I shall respond to that now
once and for all
as far as I am concerned
SPELLING DOSN'T MATTER
it has nothing to to do with inteligence
(yes I have probly spelled that wrong...
but guess what I dont care)
becuase
SPELLING DOSN'T MATTER
if I am writing a resume or a cover letter I will have it checked , but otherwise if you can understand what I'm saying
SPELLING DOSN'T MATTER
if I limeted the things I wrote to those I could spell I my voccabulary would be so limeted I might as well be a 2nd grader
I am not stupid
and if my bad spelling gives you that impresstion then you are short sighted and shalow because
SPELLING DOSN'T MATTER
I have no intention of corecting the erors in my profile because anyone who can't see past them isn't really ever going to get me anyhow
SPELLING DOSN'T MATTER
shakespear rarely spelled a word the same way twice
spelling should be fonetic (phonetic???)
if you have isue with what I'm saying fine
but to judge me one how I spell it is abserd
so out of protest dispite having a spelling corected version of my profile sent to me by a friend I'm going to leave it just as it is
if you cant see past my spelling to who I am then kindly fuck off
becuase
SPELLING DOSN'T MATTER
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| Age: 18 |
| Canada |
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