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The Largest BDSM Community on the Planet

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Hetero Female Submissive, 44,  Davenport, Iowa
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Cinnibear - photo 1
Cinnibear - photo 2

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*Updated Profile* - My previous profile has been moved into my journals.

I borrowed the quote below from a Doms profile (with permission of course) because I dont think I could have said it better. My desire is to find the latter, the One I will spend my life with.

The foolish master seeks only the key to unlock his slaves sexuality, and upon doing so, both quickly tire of each other, and both are soon alone. The soft master seeks only the key to unlock her heart, and upon doing so, merely becomes her friend. The Wise Master seeks the key to unlock her mind, and upon doing so, discovers he has the other two keys.

A bit about me I have been involved in the lifestyle for over 18 years, most of which I spent collared to 2 Doms (at different times). Having been in 2 long term relationships, I have a pretty good grasp of what I want for my third and hopefully final one. I am searching for that elusive Dom who will feed my submssiveness and that in return feeds his Dominance. That infinite cycle that is there 247.

I am not poly and I do not date married men so if you are either, I am not the girl for you.

If you are looking for a girl who is skin and bones I am definitely not your girl!! I am very curvaceous and will not change who I am for any man.

I do have a masochistic side and enjoy all kind of kinks in the bedroom so if you dont enjoy doling out at least a modicum of pain I am not your girl.

If you are the type happy to do the same kinky thing over and over and not explore this amazing world I am not your girl.

While I enjoy serving in other ways aside from just sexually and need someone who is Dominant outside of the bedroom, I am a big girl and dont need to be micromanaged. I managed to live life for 44 years, have a good job, and own my own home without you so if that is your thing I am not your girl.

I enjoy someone with a Daddy Dom side, but diapers are not my thing, so if thats what you need, I am not the lil girl for you.

If being a Dom means you feel the need to put a girl in her place daily, I am so NOT the girl for you. I already know I am submissive, and my actions for the right Dom will show that without him feeling the need to remind me.

If you are not the take charge kind of guy willing to pursue a girl on here by messaging first and instead think she needs to make the first move, I am not the girl for you.

If you are a Dominant Daddy in and out of the bedroom, willing to try new things, looking for the one to serve you for a long term relationship, not afraid to deal with distance, then take a chance and say hi. You never know, your soul mate may be on the other side of the screen.

If you made it this far, I always welcome new friends. Have a wonderfully happy day!











Last Online:


 Submissive Female



 Willing to Relocate

 5' 9"






Actively Seeking:

Dominant Male

Friends Only

 Lives For:




 Anal Play


 Breast Play


 Hair Pulling




 Garage Sales


 Horseback Riding


 Electrical Play

 Local BDSM Community

 Wax play

 Romance Novels

 True Crime

 Candle Making



 Curious About:


 Medical Play

 Role Playing

 Vacuum Stimulation

 1950s Lifestyle



 Hard Limits:



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Journal Entries:
3/29/2018 4:16:14 PM

Power Exchange: The mutually consented to exchange of power between a Dominant and a submissive. There is an inherent need to exert control and to relinquish control. When a submissive relinquishes that control to a Dominants authority, the Dominant takes a degree of responsibility for that person and their needs.

 That said, if you think you are a “Dom” and believe a ”sub/slave” should have no needs or desires and ALL her pleasure should come from serving you, you need a reality check.

 As a submissive I was taught, (hell as a child from my parents) that ignoring someone is rude. Any message sent in a respectful manner, will get a reply. If you are rude, you may get a rude reply back or just simply ignored.

 Below are a couple comments I see regularly on Dom profiles and my response. (you may find something useful or amusing if you check it out)

 1. “99.9% of sub profiles on here are fake.” – Maybe, just maybe your selection process is what needs to be looked at. If everyone you CHOOSE to try and converse with is fake, adjust your standards.

2. “I am not going to message you because I will never know if you even see my message in the sea of hundreds you get” – Seriously, the “real” subs you claim do not exist, rarely get double digit emails, let alone hundreds a day.

 3. “I am so tired of subs listing their needs and wants, you are supposed to be a sub. That has nothing to do with a Master’s needs” – Like really? Do you have any idea how ludicrous that makes you sound? I am a fairly articulate and educated woman, but polite words to respond to such senseless drivel escape me. See my definition of power exchange.

1/31/2018 11:14:35 AM
It is amazing to me how fast someone can feel a connection to someone online. Feel things like excitement, hope, giddiness, Dominant or submissive to the other person, etc. And then just as quickly one thing is said or done and it is gone as quickly as it appeared.

1/26/2018 6:25:05 PM

Humiliation, Degradation, and ification

Three words or activities that seem to show up on most Dominant lists of likes, loves, or lives for, yet on my own list it is a dislike. I feel like that narrows the field for me so to speak. A Dom is going to look at my profile and see that and pass me on by. And being honest, I often pass them over as well. Until recently I was having a conversation with someone and I asked, what do you mean by humiliation? I was take back by his list of activities he considered humiliation. So it has weighed heavily on my mind since.

  1. Humiliate - make (someone) feel ashamed and foolish by injuring their dignity and self-respect, especially publicly
  2. Degrade - treat or regard (someone) with contempt or disrespect.
  3. ify - degrade to the status of a mere . Express (something abstract) in a concrete form.

Looking at those terms based on the definitions above, it changes the scope of my views. The Dom I was talking to said his idea of humiliation is name calling, or golden showers, etc. So this is my opinion: I don?t find those things humiliating or degrading.

Name calling: During a scene, play, sex I love being called naughty names. ?Especially if there is that qualifier beforehand.? My Sweet slut. Daddy?s little fucktoy. For me personally, the only word off limits is whore. During a scene for me, any names used are used as terms of endearment, even if they make me turn red. Now, if we were in mixed company and I was asked to serve drinks or something and say I didn?t get them fast enough and I was called a name out of frustration or impatience? that would be crossing a line. One, because it is done in front of others and two it was done to be mean.

Golden Showers: I will be straight up, this is not my thing. But have I done it? Yep, with both of my Doms. Do I find it humiliating? I can?t really say. Perhaps to a degree but that is far outweighed by the joy I get from serving my Dom and doing something that pleases him. So no, I do not consider this a form of humiliation.

Now, for a scenario I do find humiliating and degrading and that crosses a line for me. A bit of background: I squirt 99% of the time when I orgasm. My first Dom was not a fan. He made comments as jokes maybe but they hurt my feelings and made me insecure about it. Obviously it is not something I can change. ?Before that my only issue was I always ended up in the wet spot!!? So to this specific event. We were on vacation, and he wanted me to masturbate with my clothes on until I came, knowing I would drench my clothes. So I did as told, and then he wanted to take me to the store to go shopping. ?He said so people would see and wonder what happened and only he and I would know it was because he made me cum. Yeah, I was not a fan. It was the first time I ever used a safe word. And I was not nice about it. Needless to say, vacation was over.

?He took something HE made me insecure about and wanted to use it to humiliate me. To me, that goes beyond humiliation and does permanent damage. Things like this are what I consider humiliation, things that can cause damage to someone, whether it is short term or long term. A Dom is supposed to nurture and take care of his submissive, not cause damage.

ification: This really baffles me. I just don?t understand it to be honest. I have no desire to be used as a table or a toilet. Golden showers are one thing, but actually being laid down with a toilet seat over my face.. no Sirree!!!

I?d be more than willing to have a conversation about this with people. I enjoy hearing people?s views and am open to learning. Who knows, like my introduction to this lifestyle, something I think may be horrible explained by the right person could end up becoming a desire.?

1/19/2018 5:09:04 PM

“Put her in her place”


I see this phrase often and it rubs me the wrong way. Most of the time, it is in conjunction with daily discipline, being kept in a cage, or even as extreme as rape. Or even those who feel they need to demean, humiliate, or tear her down. Honestly, to me if a Dom has a sub/slave in a committed relationship, there should be no reason to “put her in her place” or remind her or who she is.


My first Dom and I had a 24/7 relationship. He owned his own business, I worked for him in the business and was in charge of keeping things running in his home. No we did not live together due to our children, but were together morning till night every day. He never had to use any of the above mentioned for me to show my submissiveness and devotion to him.


Examples of this include, I can count the number of times he filled his glass when we were together. His best friend was over often and I served him as well. This was never asked or commanded of me, it was something I did because it felt natural and it filled me with pride to please him. I cooked all the meals and served him his plate before sitting down with mine. In fact, it got to a point he had to tell me to stop when we were with family because whispers were starting. I took care of him, it was my job, my desire, my need. It was automatic, second nature.


Another thing I often did, was sit at his feet when everyone was over to watch a movie, sometimes even when we were alone. With all of our children there, we always ran short on couch space, but as the adult… I would have gotten “dibs”. I chose to sit at his feet, whether I rubbed his feet or legs or simply lay with my head on his knee, I chose to sit there. I was filled with such an inner peace, serenity. At his feet, I could let everything go and just revel in the feelings of submission he brought out in me.  In fact, those times are some of the ones I treasure most of our time together.


Did he call me names? Sure during play. I was his dirty little slut or even his naughty cunt to use for his pleasure. But the way he said them, yes it may have made me blush or get embarrassed but it also had the opposite effect. It made me feel secure because I was HIS. It made me feel good because I knew I was pleasing him. It wasn’t said out of nastiness but out of the pride he had in me.


So, in my humble opinion, if that connection is there, there is no reason to have to do or say things to “put or remind her of her place”.  She will know her place, just as He will know his and those feelings and behaviors will feed off one another. Her submission bringing out his Dominance and the more Dominance he displays the more submission she displays.  And what do we call that? Power Exchange J

1/10/2018 5:55:36 PM
For me, as a submissive, it is often hard for me to put myself out there. To take the initiative and message someone. I think it boils down to the whole rejection thing.?

Now I am not living in a fairy tale, I get one person might find another interesting and message them and the other may not feel the same. But to just ignore someone isn't necessary.?

I am not just here for sex or playtime.
Do I hope to meet someone I can develop a relationship with? Sure.
Do I have that expectation every time I say hello to someone? Nope ..
Sometimes, even if i may not like what someone else does, there is something about them that intrigues me so I reach out hoping to start a conversation. Friendship warms the soul.

Treat others as you wish to be treated... when did that basic concept stop being important??

12/16/2017 6:13:36 PM
I know it shouldn't.. but the amount of absolute rudeness on this site just boggles the mind.?
Now, I don't talk to many other submissives so I can't begin to state how they act, but the amount of "Doms" that lack even the basic common courtesy.. smh.?

I often see variations the line "If you can't Master yourself, how do you expect to Master someone else."

Thats great if you have a nice job, nice house, money, etc... but if you can't even master the concept of common courtesy.. doubtful you will be able to master someone else.

That said, am I perfect? Absolutely not. But I always try to be courteous, and I admit sometimes I have a problem ignoring rude people and get rude back.. but if someone is polite to me I strive to be polite back. If I am not, I expect to be called on my behavior, upon such a time I will apologize (if warranted).?

12/7/2017 5:12:09 PM
So I am curious... I get notifications often enough saying I have a new admirer. But the person who adds me to their favorite list.. NEVER MESSAGES ME. What is the point? I went through the first 2 pages of "Admirers" and 16... have never even said hi!!! 16 of 29... There is something wrong with that. Surely I am not the only one this happens to!!!

10/16/2017 4:29:51 PM
My deepest desire... A Kiss.

Not just any kiss, but one you hopefully are lucky enough to find once in a lifetime, let alone twice. 

You barely touch, His hands on her waist or in her hair, hers on his chest or around his neck. Bodies inches apart, not quite touching but close enough to feel the other's body heat. Then your lips meet, and your breathe is taken away. 

As your tongues begin that sensual dance of Dominance and Submission, your knees go weak. Without each others touch you will stumble, your heart races.

That is my deepest desire. I had it once, but in my niavity, I ran away as fast as I could. 17 years later I can ony dream of finding that again.

What is your deepest desire?

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