To those who don't understand what "Under Consideration" means:
The term under consideration is one that is often used in this thing that we do to indicate that two (or more) people are exploring the possibility of making a D/s or M/s connection or relationship.
The simplest way to explain it, even though this won’t do it justice:
The consideration process is similar to that period of dating before you make a more significant commitment. That commitment could be moving in together, that commitment could be marriage. What will be clear is that there is a shift from what you were doing to what you are doing which is something more substantial. Consideration is substantial, or at least it should be considered substantial.
The Top & the bottom engaging in this activity will discuss to them what under consideration actually will mean. This might be the first opportunity the couple has to operate under a specifically designed structure, not just we are two kinky people doing stuff.
The consideration period should be negotiated like every other aspect of these interactions. You can set parameters for things like:
- monogamy
- sexual activity
- service goals
- pushing limits
- training
- expectations
and so many other things. This is the time before you make a commitment that you can as a participant in the relationship, see if this relationship will be a good fit for you.
The parameters may be different, and the sex may be different, but what you have at the core of a BDSM relationship is two people learning to understand and trust one another. While your eventual goal might be to have a power exchange relationship, you can’t get there overnight. Like any vanilla relationship there is a process to how you get to happily ever after.
It is also perfectly acceptable to take your time walking into a commitment. The consideration period can be a valuable tool to both the top and the bottom to determine if they could possibly make a power exchange relationship work. That will happen if there is open communication, earnest and honest communication in negotiations, and commitment to the process.
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