As far as what I look for in a D/s relationship, the first thing is the same as in any relationship: compatibility.  I definitely want to be able to share things with my partner besides what I like in the bedroom.  I like intelligent women who can hold their own in a conversation.

Sexually, I look for traits that I think most submissives have.  I love when a woman gets off on being told what to do.  I think a submissive's greatest pleasure should come from pleasing her Master - for that reason I expect a cumslut.  My submissive's first focus should always be on making me cum for her, on using her body to please me.  Her favorite part of sex shouldn't be her own orgasm but when I cum in or on her.  The best submissives I've been with would often cum when I did.

That doesn't mean I don't care about my submissive's pleasure - to the contrary what I want is to bring into focus that her pleasure comes from pleasing me.  I love the female orgasm and like to learn everything about my lover's body and reactions.  I love orgasm control and training a submissive to cum on command (sometimes in tricky situations).

None of this is to say that I think D/s is only - or even primarily - about sex.  I do find however that sex is the most… intense outlet of the power of this type of relationship.  It's about the purest form of expression of one's role in the relationship and for this reason I do focus a lot on it. 

I suppose I should clarify, because I've been asked several times now, what I mean when I say I don't believe in training.  I suppose it might be logistics but to me I draw a distinction between training a submissive in how to serve me, particularly, as her dominant, and simply training someone to be submissive.  I don't believe in the latter.  True submissives are born, not made.  I can show you the specifics of what you can do to please me, but I can't make that act - serving - pleasurable to you.  In fact, serving me will often entail doing things you find… unpleasurable.  It's the real submissive that finds fulfillment in accomplishing that which came at a price.

In my time I've been with varying degrees of submissive, from those that just got a kick out of the fantasy of some dirty talk and rough sex in the bedroom to one who would have been anything I asked her to be, anytime.  I don't think that part of someone can be changed, no amount of training will make a woman who just likes having her hair pulled into a slave.  What I do, and I think is the dominant's real role, is take that submission and give it purpose and outlet in our relationship.

 In my experience, people tend to have a problem accurately self-identifying (almost said "diagnosing") how submissive they may be.  The reverse is probably true for self-styled dominants.  There's no shame in it.  However submissive - or not - you may be, there's someone out there who will fit perfectly with it.  Know thyself is all.

I've found that the best blowjobs come from confidence.  While a shy, nervous girl is fun in her own right - spreading her legs and watching her eyes grow as your hand moves slowly up her inner thigh is one of life's simplest pleasures - she will never suck a cock half so well as an uninhibited whore.  So suck with slutty abandon!  Choke and gag on the cock until your eyes well with tears.  Make a swallowing motion as you feel the head of my cock press against the back of your throat.  We'll do it in the bathroom the first couple times if you're worried about a violent gag reflex.  If your mascara isn't running by the time I've filled your mouth with cum, you're doing it wrong.

For those girls that are afraid of the cock, I've got a simple training exercise: a good, hard throat-fucking.  If you're too timid the first several times you are ordered to get down on your knees and use your mouth to pleasure me, I'll let you see how it should be done.  I smack you hard on the cheek, take two fistfuls of hair, and shove my cock all the way in, using your mouth as a pussy.  After several brutal face-fuckings, good sluts get the picture.  Your mouth is a fuck-hole for your owner, a pussy for my cock.  Your mouth is a cunt.  It should feel as good as, if not better than, the one between your legs.  Once you've learned that lesson we can move on to the next: what your tight little asshole is good for...