I understand that many men find it difficult to come to terms with the idea of submission, that many feel shame, discomfort and otherwise feel negative towards the role (or idea of) what they desire and this seems the primary reason why there are so many that feel the need to state and confirm that they are 'dominants' in their life outside of the 'kink'.

But I find it an unattractive, unnecessary statement. It tells me that you are not confident or comfortable with who you are, who you want me to engage with, play with, and consider as a D/s partner.

If you want to get the attention of a woman, particularly a Dominant woman, it's best to leave those insecurities behind for beginning conversations. We do not think men are less because they identify as submissive. We are women that are here looking for submissive men who embrace that part of themselves and want to explore and engage with that primarily.

That is not to say that we are not interested in who you are outside of this scene or lifestyle as most of us are - particularly if we're interested in developing a long-term relationship -, but the disclaimer of being dominant outside of D/s? It's a turn-off.

So, please, be mindful of the message you're sending and how it might be perceived.