I am constantly amazed by how few people take the time to understand what they really want. Oh people think they know what they want, but in general in my experience most people are masters at self deception. At the risk of sounding very cocky (ok with the certainty of sounding bloody cocky) I am damn good at what I do. There is a reason I am able to effect the people I play with so much. Its this simple I have studied body language and the art of reading people quite seriously. Its not that people consciously lie to you its that they instinctively lie to themselves. They believe that they believe all the nonsense they are told they believe.

Let me give you some none D/s examples first then I will move onto the D/s side if anyone is still paying attention, but as I am not claiming to be a cute girl I have my doubts on that one. People say that they belive personal freedom is important yet we still keep seeming to vote in governments that use fear and insecurity to weapons to slowly remove out personal freedoms. Hell both the UK and the USA voted in parties that started a war that was at best morally dubious at worst illegal and based on clearly fabricated evidence. Said war has made the world a more violent and less safe place has been used as an excuse to erode out fundamental civil liberties things our ancestors fought and in some cases died for, you know little things like the right to trial, concepts like innocent until proven guilty, the right to privacy, the right to free speech and protest. Yet while all this goes on in our name we still claim to believe in freedom. Another example is the rampant fear and hatred of pedophilia. Now please don't get me wrong I'm not defending it or coming out in support of sleeping with children which sadly a lot of people seem to believe every time I make this argument. Despite this rampant fear and hate we still happily consume a media that blatantly sexualized youth. One of the most hypocritical things I ever saw was a news paper (part of the British gutter press) on one page talking about a sick pedophile teacher who had consensual sex with a 15 year old student and on another page showing a topless picture of a girl who's birthday it was and had that day become legal to show topless. Now is it just me or is the hypocrisy there so painfully blatant it makes your head hurt? There are a thousand more examples I could give be it Britney Spears dressed as a school girl singing hit me baby one more time, or god alone knows how many teen magazines and fashion houses sexualized ever younger people.

How about the people that say they believe drugs are wrong, often while holding a ciggy in one hand and a scotch in the other, news flash folks the truth of it is alcohol and nicotine are just as dangerous and likely to cause social problems as the vast majority of narcotics. Even if you were to accept that drug use is morally wrong a position I find it hard to defend as clearly everyone own their own bodies and we are not property of the state and thus it should clearly be up to us what we do with them, the simple fact is that prohibition is not working and will never work. The governments own figures say that to wipe out the drug problem you would need a sustained stoppage rate of 60%, and that no western society has ever managed a sustained rate of above 20%. Now is it just me or does that make a total nonsense of the whole thing?

Anyway now Ive finished my political rant let me get to my point about D/s. Ive been in this game quite a while now about 15 years. The Sadomasochistic, D's, bdsm scene (call it what you will) has changed a lot since I started. Back when I started it was much more underground than it is now, and frankly the scene was darker and folks were happier with it. These says people seem to feel the need to make it safe and nice. They sprout nonsense mantras like Safe Sane Consensual like they mean something and they really believe they do. News flash kids, nothings really safe, its possible to die of a heart attack from too much pleasure or too much pain, let alone things like undiscovered allergies to latex or god alone knows what else. Lets not even get started on the word sane, Ive been around a while and I frankly don't know many people in the scene Id call sane and yes I include myself in that. The point is you say the Mantra enough and you start to believe that you believe it. You`ll fight and argue to defend these beliefs and if something challenges them people will respond with anger and shutting down and refusing to consider it. Yet despite all this I know so few people that are truly satisfied they may tell themselves they are and that they are getting what they want but the truth of it is they feel unfulfilled. I play to the far darker end of the spectrum in the scene, a lot of the things I do and enjoy are called edge play or considered extreme. Yet dancing on the dark side emotionally effects the people I play with. They want more, want to go further, its an addiction. Maybe just maybe more people should challenge their preconceptions of whats acceptable and what they believe in. Maybe there would be a lot more satisfied happy people out there if we all stopped pretending what we did was light and nice and built on mutual respect and need. Stop using mantras folks, stop clinging to beliefs so rigidly maybe the happiness your looking for is right there in front of you. Know thyself, its a damn fine phrase to live by.

How far we have fallen, how much we have lost. Our technology and morality held as sacred, with the blindness equal of any fanatic. We have forgotten what we are, and we use the term as an insult. We are animals, powerful ones for sure, the very apex of predators.

Those urges still pulse and writhe within us, hunt, kill, fuck, protect, feast. They search for release our so called dark emotions, hate, anger, lust all answer the call of our urge. The beast in us all longs to return to the old ways to be free of our petty rules and regulations. By pretending the beast doesn't exist we let it hide within our soul, the great predator turned inwards against ourselves. The predator like any cornered wounded animal seeking to lash out and hurt its oppressor. What should be our ally becomes our enemy. Slowly its festering wounds seep in polluting us, damaging us, warping us. Those things designed to give us strength and power become the tools of our own destruction. Our hate becomes unfocused and directed at things that do not deserve it, our rage spirals out of control and strikes at the things we care about, our fear paralyzes us rather than letting us fight or flee, our lust so hungry and impotent becomes unbound materialism and unnatural desire.

Give in to the animal that screams in your soul. Throw your head back and howl at the moon, revel in the bliss that comes from self acceptance. Fear not the demons in eden for to fear them is to fear ourselves. Worship the beast my friends, but keep the beast on a tight leash lest it devour you.