Amazing things sometimes happen on vanilla websites. Met a fun, kinky guy hiding on a vanilla dating site. Started a G rated conversation, but we soon realized we had kink in common. Had some wonderful online sexting. 

Please know that there is someone out there for you. Don't give in or give up. And remember, you can find people that will fit with you in some funny and unlikely places.

Best of luck to everyone!

Communication and trust are the cornerstones for BDSM. If you can't appreciate my need for these two tenets, then we probably aren't going to be a very good match. Hard limits need to be respected; soft limits can be pushed. Please don't presume that I am your property unless or until I recognize you as my Master. I'm not here to waste time and effort trying to find a Master who isn't being honest with himself or with me.

I've been in this lifestyle long enough to know what I want and what I need.

If you can supply these, then we have a basis for a possible D/s relationship. But I don't want to attempt  bonding with a Dominant who doesn't have my best interests at heart. What I have found is that some Dominants don't realize that there is a partnership being formed in a D/s relationship. The submissive has rights as well as responsibilities. The Dominant appears to have all of the power, but a submissive can call an end to things, at any time. 

Balance.

It is crucial for me.

Please respect that.

As I have grown in the lifestyle, I continue to realize that it's about what I have learned and am learning about BDSM that is truly shaping me into a good and pleasing submissive. I have more patience for, and understanding of, my role in a D/s dynamic. I yearn to know all that I can about a partner. I want to anticipate His needs. I want our play to bond me to Him, bring Him great satisfaction, and please Him immensely. This is where my happiness begins and continues to grow.

It's been awhile since I added a journal entry. I have experienced so much pain and pleasure in these past many years, that I scarcely no where to begin. I've moved beyond mere pain. Now I'm looking for someone who would appreciate a good girl with a submissive heart, who sometimes needs correction or guidance. Mostly, I wish for a Dom who values sensuality with a bit of sadism to add into the mix.

 When I see how my pain brings pleasure, I am grateful to offer my flesh. I revel in the marks left behind. They tell me that I was well used. They help me remember that my submissiveness is for the enjoyment of others. Knowing that I can be pleasing in this way allows me to embrace the pain with a happy heart. This  turns pain to pleasure. And then I can offer even more.

  It's all real time, now. I'm such a lucky sub! I love to play and be pushed. I started  scared and afraid, but now I embrace it.  Sub space!!! There is nothing  that compares to being reduced to a writhing, moaning carnal mess.  When I feel my  heart slamming into my ribs and my breathing is nothing more than ragged gasps, and the power of speech has completely abandoned me....  I am barely aware of the toys that are being used on me or the damage they are inflicting.  The pain and vulnerability bring me to another, higher level.  And I am always reaching for more.