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Just here....... Just to be clear, I am probably funny in the sense that while I believe it is a gurl's duty to be everything a Man desires her to be - homemaker one minute, wanton slut the next - I don't think any girl should slut around with more than just ONE Man (unless it amuses him to show His friends how truly obedient she is) and I am currently talking with that one man - so please, I will always talk to anyone as a friend but don't ask for more (there are plenty of nicer looking gurls on here so it's not that big a loss).

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6/1/2016 6:49:12 AM
I do wish I had really amazing stuff to write, but truth be told, transitioning to a more fem form takes place in tiny little increments that are all too often impossible to write about in anyway that is interesting -- it's kind of like trying to write about a turtle trying to cross a busy highway......

"He's walking........he's walking.........he's walking......OH WAIT, HE ALMOST GOT HIT........no?........he's walking.........he's walking..........he's walking............he's there"

As stirring as that play-by-play of the turtle's progress was, it's positively nail bitingly exciting next to such tidbits as "Nipples hurt today.......areoles are bigger........pants a little more snug in the butt........pants a little more loose in the waist."

5/19/2016 7:40:55 PM
I have been dealing with computer issues recently so it has been hard to get on line --- or stay on -- since the computer fan is apparently not working and my computer keeps overheating and shutting down!!  
 
Before I get kicked off by the computer gods, let me just say very quickly that the hormones have begun to make still subtle, but more noticeable changes to my body. I thought the estrogen alone would be all that I needed for breast development but the finasteride has led to renewed nipple and areoles growth- which is painful but fun to watch.  
 
The finasteride is also noticeably accelerating the redistribution of subcutaneous fat from the genetic male areas to the much more fun, female places. This is a long process that can take up to two years to complete, but it is nice to see that it has actually begun in earnest.

4/14/2016 8:24:49 AM
I was told a long time ago that, despite my having been born a male, that my nature, my personality and even certain physical "cues" indicated that I probably should have been born a girl. I never had "gender dysphoria" and never fax a lot of thought toward being a girl - but that was before a strong Master took me and turned me into one - or as close to one as was possible - against my wishes. Since that point I have accepted that he knew better and have accepted that my true purpose is serving Men rather than being one. I got more evidence today of who and what I am meant to be when I was able to squeeze my nipples and have milk first bead up and then squirt out. I am lactating and this is totally unexpected and MUCH earlier and easier than I think it ought to be - unless of course the hormones I am taking are simply correcting my body's purpose and function to that of a girl's. Mind you, I had given much thought to the possibility of eventually being able to induce lactation but had not EVER expected it would (or could) happen so quickly - or without any real efforts at inducing lactation. I guess I should be happy. I definitely am not sad. I think maybe the best word I'd use is to say that I'm stunned.

4/7/2016 5:25:00 PM
I've been slow to post to my journal recently for a few very good reasons... For one, until I start the next pill cycle, changes are now kind of slow and incremental - basically, until May, I'm boring, lol. For another thing, one of the unpleasant changes is a more feminine level of stamina - I'm still adjusting to this. Finally, I've been working a LOT of overtime since there are many things I need to buy - as a result, I'm worn out - although I think it's for a good cause :-)

3/30/2016 10:58:38 AM
Not a lot to write about today. Mostly, my boobs have stopped hurting which, if what I have been reading is correct, means that my body has finished developing the ducts necessary for lactation. My boobs will now continue to grow, but they've already reached that very important stage of development- that means I could (with proper inducement) produce milk........::smiles:: which I guess means I could be a hucow (just kidding - I could, but I'm sure there are better candidates). Since I am still dissatisfied with the snail's pace of my weight loss I am going to start a new diet/exercise regimen. I had already cut out ALL sweets and was trying to hike anywhere from 3.5 to 12.5 miles every day (except for last week when I had a toothache and this week when I've been kind of in recovery mode). Starting next week it's going to be a minimum of 5 miles a day and I'm limiting myself to 2hardboiled eggs and 2 pieces of toast in the morning, soup at lunch and a normal meal at dinner. If this doesn't produce the results I want, I may just have to throw in the towel and go see a doctor.

3/24/2016 3:05:42 PM
I've had the real "blahs" this week for a number of reasons. For one, until yesterday a lost filling had me just feeling physically miserable. I took pain pills, but these made me just a little less than comatose. Add to that, I've had nobody to talk to all week! On the positive side, I've not let any of that stop me and even though I felt like "death warmed over", on Saturday I got my first real "new me" tattoo - 2 roses, one pink and the other red - just above my right ankle. I wanted to get Tinker Bell or another "cute" fairies on my shoulder but I didn't like any of the drawings so that'll be next weekend. I also went back to the hair salon where I had my hair professionally dyed (red) and styled. My hair is finally long enough for extensions but my stylist recommended I still wait a few weeks - she knows more than me, so I will trust her judgment. Physically, the changes are slow but continuous and I really like the way my face has developed a natural and hard to explain femininity - I don't know how to put it into words that make sense, but when I look in the mirror I now see a female face staring back at me.

3/22/2016 9:29:04 AM
I'm up in Jax today while my aunt who is staying with me undergoes some tests. I rented a room but it appears that this was wasted money and I will be driving her home late this afternoon. I have been fairly quiet for about four days. For the most part, this is due to the simple fact that I am in a fair amount of pain due to a filling that fell out last Friday. The earliest appointment I could get to have a new filling put in is Wednesday so I am going to be miserable for at least one more day. About the only good thing I can say about having an exposed nerve is that it has certainly made it easy to forget about how much my nipples still hurt. Of course, sore nipples make for a happy girl since that means breast tissue is still developing at a good pace.

3/18/2016 10:36:46 AM
Lasers and pumps....... Since my breasts have been developing at a freakishly fast rate, I thought it would be good to begin using a nipple pump to help encourage even more growth to my nipples and areoles. Unfortunately, even though both Walmart and Target were supposed to have them in stock they didn't - so I ended up ordering online. In the meantime, my areoles have grown noticeably darker and bigger (they used to be pink and nickel sized, now they are brown and between a quarter and half-dollar sized). My nipple, while still only slightly taller are at least 2x as thick as they once were - so growth is coming. I bought a laser hair removal kit (VERY expensive) and have begun permanently removing ALL body hair. Even though I have very little hair naturally, I still expect the process to take 6 months before I am forever smooth.

3/16/2016 12:56:47 PM
One of those days where there was a change that is totally unnoticeable to most - even to me - but that is HUGE all the same. I put on my bra this morning and it fit much better across my back. Doesn't sound like much but it's tangible evidence both that my diet is showing results AND that my upper back is beginning to slowly lose muscle mass - and that's very important if your goal is to pass as and actually eventually become female. One more month and I will begin wearing my waist shaping corset 24/7.

3/15/2016 8:10:05 AM
Just another day, another small change. Today was one of the first days when I was able to look in the mirror and see unequivocal evidence of feminization in my features - a general softening and thinning of my facial features. I am often acutely aware of changes that I perceive but that others might not. However, the person staring back at me from the mirror was unequivocally female in subtle but obvious ways. My nipples and boobs continue to hurt as my body basically reacts to my hormone-induced "second puberty". The pain isn't fun - but it becomes worth it when I look down and see what is really unexpected (given both my age and rapidity of growth) boobs. I'd say I am close to a C cup - which ought not to ever be the case even after 2 years - let alone just under 2 months. (I have done enough research to now know that rapid early breast growth, while not the norm, does indeed happen from time to time. Now only if the extra weight would go and I'd already start to look good in a dress!) On a less cheerful note, I bought a few g-strings to see how these looked on me. While my clit has shrunken down (1.5" and TOTALLY lifeless), my worthless little used-to-be testes aren't completely gone and really ruin the look. I know they're still shrinking but I wouldn't mind even a tiny bit if I could just get rid of them altogether. And that's my day today.

3/13/2016 9:20:48 PM
This has been my "flu weekend" and I am just now starting to feel a tiny bit better (but still not wonderful).  As a result of having the flu, I have been sleeping a lot - which means I've been neglecting my writing.  As much as I'd like to be sleeping even now, I think it's more important to at least say a little something, so here goes......

I didn't get a lot done this weekend but did manage to get my ears pierces - two on each ear.  I am currently wearing posts/studs that they gave me at Claire's and will go looking for some pretty earrings during the week.

Despite being sick I think it is very important that I remain focused on who and what I now am.  I am somewhere between a caterpillar and a butterfly.  But mindful that I am to become a butterfly, I am not allowing my being sick to stop me from being who I now am.  As such, today was shaving and Nair day, after which I slipped into a pair of white stretch shorts and a sports bra ensemble and made myself go on a 3+ miles walk.  I felt like I was going to die - but I am determined to hit my target weight before the year is over. 

Getting home, I took a nice bubble bath in lilac scented bubble bath and afterward slipped into a cute pair of pink thongs I had just bought along with a baby doll top. One more hour spent curling my hair and I was finally ready for bed.

Tomorrow is the beginning of a new phase - a very important one.  I am beginning what I hope to make a week-long fast.  I exercise a ridiculous amount now but I am just not dropping the weight as fast as I'd like.  As a result, tomorrow (when I HOPE I feel completely better) I am beginning a 7-day fast in which I will have no more than 1 hardboiled egg in the morning and then water only. 

I am hopeful that all this when combined with my usual strenuous workout will lead to a dramatic increase in the speed of my weight loss.  I am now dressing as a woman 24/7.  But I don't look womanly enough in terms of my curves.....having once been there when I was owned and controlled by a strict Master, I know what I am capable of looking like.  I will not be content until I look like that - or better - again. 

3/10/2016 8:31:56 PM
I won't be adding to this journal every single night because that'd get boring pretty quickly.  I suppose all I will add tonight is an observation.  My money's a bit tight (I get paid Fridays just like a lot of people) but I had enough to go out to Fredericks and buy myself a few pair of really nice thongs (red satin, blue satin and black satin) and couldn't wait to get home to try them on.  Slipping on the red thong I was very happy to see that my nasty little "boy parts" (that would be my testes - I regard what's left as my clit) have already shrunken enough that they weren't even noticeable - just the tiny little bump of my clitty - which I suppose I could hide except I like how very small it has become.


3/9/2016 8:07:17 PM
My name is Dana and this is the 1st entry in my journal.  I hope to keep a record of my transition from "something resembling a man" to "something resembling a female" to "something distinctly female" to, finally, "female with her pussy somewhere else".

I have been on hormones for perhaps a month now.  In that space of time there have been many subtle and not so subtle changes.  Amongst the more subtle changes are a very (VERY) slight shift in body contour.  A month ago, I was able to put a pair of jeans on and have them stay up without needing a belt.  Added to that, they always had plenty of room in the butt - so much so that I was often very unhappy with how....unshapely my butt was.  Even though I am now dressing 24/7 (yes, even in bed at night) as a woman, I have kept a pair of my old (male) jeans that I try on occasionally just so I can gauge changes that might yet be too subtle to the naked eye.  Sure enough, a few days ago I put them on -- and they slipped down from my waist, only stopping because my hips/thighs stopped them.  In addition, the butt area is ever-so-slightly snug. 

Small changes too subtle to recognize yet, but very real (and best of all, measurable).

Other hard to recognize changes are a slight softening of my features and lightening of my skin.  I expect these to accelerate as I go deeper into my regimen.

By far the most obvious changes are to my clit, testes and nipples/breasts.  My clit was always "unpredictable" in when it would show life (a result of past hormones).  Now it is all but dead and has shrunk down to maybe 2 inches on a good day after a hot shower.  Otherwise, 2 inches would be a generous assessment.  Now it just jiggles limply like a gurl clitty should.  As for my nipples, they HURT 24/7 and are perpetually hard - like there are metal ball bearings under my skin.  Also, my breasts are once more developing genuinely "breast-like" contours (there's a huge difference between "fat titties" and "titties" and the easiest way to know the difference is to look at them.  Fat titties are just that - fat - with no real shape.  My titties are decidedly conical.

Anyway, I hate overwriting so that is all for my first entry.

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gemmykatt
 
 Age: 22
  Rhode Island